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$MONEY$ antifeminism gross incompetence misogyny MRA woman's suffrage

A Voice for Men's brilliant new money-making scheme: Translate Edwardian antifeminist E. Belfort Bax into hip and happening modern lingo, make eBook, roll around in sweet sweet cash

E. Belfort Bax ... TO THE MAX!
E. Belfort Bax … TO THE MAX!

Our old friend Paul Elam of Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men has promised his long-suffering and evidently increasingly broke donors that he would be looking into some exciting new money-making ventures in order to fund his lifestyle site.

We’ve already seen the the first of these get-rich-quick schemes in action: AVFM’s new publishing house. Elam evidently sees publishing as a sort of virtual ATM in which near-zero effort is repaid handsomely with cash.

The first book from what’s now called Zeta Press was a poorly received collection of re-edited blog posts about Men Going Their Own Way. AVFM followed with e-book reprints of the public domain writings of anti-women’s-suffrage socialist E. Belfort Bax, first published more than a century ago. (Never mind that Bax’s works are already available for free online at Marxists.org, the Internet Archive, and elsewhere.)

Apparently feeling that they are not yet squeezing enough blood from the turnip that is E. Belfort Bax, AVFM is floating another idea: a book that “translates” Bax’s often convoluted Edwardian era prose into hip and happening modern lingo. In an post today, AVFM “writer” August Løvenskiolds presents a little sample of what this might look like.

Unfortunately, Mr. Løvenskiolds may not be the best man for the job. For one thing, he seems to lack the necessary attention to detail. In his post today, he refers to E. Belfort Bax several times as E. BEDFORD Bax. I’ve indicated one instance in the screenshot below:

baxmistake

But there may be an even bigger problem with Mr. Løvenskiolds’ proposal: He seems to think that “translating” Bax into the parlance of our times means, well, completely rewriting it so it sounds like a Paul Elam fever dream.

Here is a sentence from Bax’s writings:

From all we have said, it will now be evident, one would think, to the most prejudiced reader that modern English Law, following obsequiously a deluded or apathetic stage of public opinion, has solved the problem of the division of rights and duties between the sexes, by conceding to woman all rights, and imposing on man all duties.

And here is Løvenskiolds’ “translation” of this passage:

So, it all comes down to this: even the most tone-deaf feminists have to be quaking in their Louboutins over the facts I’ve presented so far – so much so that I expect a false rape accusation from some disgruntled women’s studies ingenue will occur at any time. The general apathy to a critical examination of the claims of feminism is policed by such false accusations, which are a near certainty once a critical examination of feminism begins.

Rape hoaxes are well-known and were an “old school” feminist tactic at the time To Kill a Mockingbird was written fifty plus years ago. I expect one to drop on me like Dorothy’s tornado=blown house in The Wizard of Oz but unlike a privileged Wicked Witch I’ve taken precautions against such petards.

The fact remains: modern feminism has gained all the rights of men, and then some, while rejecting the obligations of men to preserve society and protect women and children.  When women have all the rights and men, all the obligations, this system of society has a simple name. Slavery.

A person with no rights and lots of obligations is identical to the most downtrodden of slaves. A person with all the rights and no obligations is the most extreme of tyrants.

I’m not making this up; if you don’t believe me, take a look at his post.

I think we could probably do a better job than Mr. Løvenskiolds. And so I’d like to invite you all to try your hand at some Bax translations – take the passage above, or any other passage from Bax’s work, and “translate” it into something a little more groovy in far out ways.

NOTE TO EXCESSIVELY LITERAL MINDED READERS: Paul Elam is not actually our friend.

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ParadoxicalIntention
9 years ago

Bina

Also, Louboutins? Really? The stiletto-platform look is hideous (and, hopefully, passĂŠ), and no feminist worth her hard-earned salt would spend a thousand bucks just for some red lacquer on the soles of what amounts to a pair of stripper stilts.

I happen to like high heels too. And on the right legs, they’re damn sexy.

And let’s not shame strippers, please? There’s enough stigma surrounding them as it is without feminists plastering more on.

Though I agree I wouldn’t spend a thousand dollars on shoes. That’s just silly.

ParadoxicalIntention
9 years ago

From all we have said, it will now be evident, one would think, to the most prejudiced reader that modern English Law, following obsequiously a deluded or apathetic stage of public opinion, has solved the problem of the division of rights and duties between the sexes, by conceding to woman all rights, and imposing on man all duties.

*cracks knuckles*

“From all me and my fellow MRA menfolk have said, it should be obvious, one would think, to even the most prejudiced reader (Feminists), that modern English Law, which seems to be following the more and more complacent, apathetic, and deluded stage of Political Correctness, has solved the problem of equal rights between genders, by giving all the wimmenz all the rights, but making men have to sign up for the draft because men DIE IN WARS TO PLEASE WIMMENZ.”

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

At least if they’re “translating” 1900s-era writings, they can at last legitimately talk about the draft as if it were still a real thing.

Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Yeah I swore I’d never spend $200 on shoes, which I havent, since they were on sale for like $150. Totally. Worth. It. Leather boots that hold up in New England blizzards and look great year round? 10/10 would buy again!

Falconer the little goof is fine, got himself stuck in the netting to prevent him from getting stuck where he’d dry out >.< but only his pride was hurt. How are the twinsies?

katz
9 years ago

Taking a single paragraph of already-overwrought prose and “translating” it into four paragraphs that have no discernible relationship to the original tells you everything you need to know about AVFM, really.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

@katz:

And this is how they treat their allies! Can you imagine if they tried to “translate” early feminist writings?

katz
9 years ago

There’s another problem. If you’re “translating” writings from 100 years ago, either the “critiques” of feminism are going to be sorely out of date, or you’re going to have to replace them completely.

It works if you want the entire world to revert to how it was 100 years ago.

volt
volt
9 years ago

“In a very few of these cases prosecution was not advised and not undertaken by the police on the question of either real or apparent age. The wording of the Criminal Law Amendment Act is made to supply a few of the omissions of the old law concerning rape, and in raising the age under which the consent of the female participator is not recognised, the Act puts the dangerous weapon into the hands of that person of showing that she des not appear to be sixteen. This is a fertile source of blackmailing, because a girl of fifteen and a half has only to get a man to have connection with her, or to attempt it, and he is at her mercy.”

Translation: Modern statutory rape laws are unfair, because they allow a teenage girl to falsely accuse an innocent man of rape, so long as that man has actually attempted to rape her.

proxieme
proxieme
9 years ago

Aw, the octogenarian’s attempt seemed earnest, if overeager and doomed.

AVFM’s attempt is just deluded, delusional dumbfuckery.

katz
9 years ago

God – not another US adaptation that misses the point of the British original! 😉

proxieme
proxieme
9 years ago

Not that I have 1000$ to spare on shoes, but I love heels and some of mine have platforms =/

I’m a little envious of women who can pull off heels – and PLATFORMS, oh my 😉

Being already a bit tall, I transform into THE GIRL WHO ATE DC!!!! given heels of any size.
Then, given the fact that I don’t wear them often due to the above, I become THE DRUNKENLY TOTTERING GIRL WHO ATE DC!!!!

Though, I guess that that may have to move from “girl” to “woman” now that I’m speeding headlong into my mid-30s.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

I love wearing high schools. Especially since my legs are kind of short. It’s not like feminists shouldn’t wear them. They just shouldn’t be a requirement for women.

baroncognito
9 years ago

AIT: That is a magnificent rendition. You have nailed it.

baroncognito
9 years ago

Weirdwoodtreehugger: High Schools make your legs seem longer?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger:

Wow. Now THAT is a look that takes some skill to pull off. 😛

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

I meant high heels. What a bizarre mistake to make!

binjabreel
9 years ago

Translation Party gave up after only like five retranslates!

Only the imposing sesame seeds solves the problem of the Division of labor among women might be, saying all obligations right of ways men make concessions and we women from modern English! Most readers follow the obvious prejudice of all men from top level public paranoia or stage of indifference.

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

From Edwardian English:

From all we have said, it will now be evident, one would think, to the most prejudiced reader that modern English Law, following obsequiously a deluded or apathetic stage of public opinion, has solved the problem of the division of rights and duties between the sexes, by conceding to woman all rights, and imposing on man all duties.

To 80’s Val-speak:

Dudes, like, even the narcs dig that, like, laws and stuff have made it so that the dudettes get all the primo benefits while the dudes get all the gnarly responsibilities. And that’s, cause, like, the politicians are just brown-nosers kissing up to, like, public opinion. And the public has, like, totally been deluded by grody feminists. Fer sure, man.

tcwill00
tcwill00
9 years ago

Argenti, the twins are very smart. My girl is talking in almostcompl ete sentences, and they both repeat everything we say. It’s like keeping parrot, but parrots sleep sometimes.

We’re potty training. Just started. My little boy thinks there’s a magic word, he keeps calling “Potty water now!” My girl went in the potty today and then threw a fit when mommy tried to diaper her. apparently she thought she had graduated from pants of all sorts.

Beloved has been calling it all Operation Running Moon.

ParadoxicalIntention
9 years ago

WWTH: Well, you’re not wrong that High Schools would indeed make you feel taller if you were to wear them.

I don’t know if I’d be able to handle all the teenage hormones again, but I’d be taller.

Mwa
Mwa
9 years ago

Nothing says “up to date” like references to “To Kill a Mockingbird” and “The Wizard of Oz.”

bekabot
bekabot
9 years ago

Not too be too ethnocentric, but ‘Løvenskiolds’ isn’t an English name. Is English Mr. Løvenskiolds’ first language? If not, his awkwardness with it would be explained.

ParadoxicalIntention
9 years ago

Kirbywarp

And this is how they treat their allies! Can you imagine if they tried to “translate” early feminist writings?

Oh god. I don’t think they could handle the snark and humor without taking it as a personal attack. Women back then were still snarky as hell.

Also, I saw this and I think it’s so fucking perfect:

http://41.media.tumblr.com/5948a172ad15306df0fc51c7678028a1/tumblr_n7dpepeEze1qczq24o1_1280.jpg

cupisnique
cupisnique
9 years ago

“Not too be too ethnocentric, but ‘Løvenskiolds’ isn’t an English name. Is English Mr. Løvenskiolds’ first language? If not, his awkwardness with it would be explained.”

LOL awkwardness? He seems to have a perfect grasp of the english language. He just doesn’t logic very well.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
9 years ago

I think this should be here
http://youtu.be/abZmFCs-ltY
weirwoodtreehugger
“I love wearing high schools”

Kirbywarp is right that is what I call ‘skill’. Bravo.

Watching Diana Ross in The Wiz, especially this clip, will never cease to amaze me of how well she can dance let alone walk in high heels.
http://youtu.be/oGxBx8RzzrM
ParadoxicalIntention
Awesome comic