[CONTENT WARNING: Misogynistic violence, rape apologia]
His complaint was a familiar one:
I think every girl is a type of slut, they are fussy with men nowadays, they do not give boys like us a chance.
You can find nearly identical laments in the profiles of self-described “nice guys” on OkCupid, on Men’s Rights blogs, and on forums for self-described “Incels” comisserating about their “involuntary celibacy” and what they see as the shallowness of young women.
But these words actually come from a video filmed by Ben Moynihan, a British teenager who was convicted of attempted murder earlier this week after stabbing three women in an attempt to take a sort of revenge upon the “weaker” gender he felt had made his life miserable by denying him sex. Another young man trying to punish women with violence for the “crime” of not dating him.
“I am still a virgin,” he wrote in one note. “Everyone is losing it before me, that’s why you are my chosen target.” In another note, he declared that “all women needs to die and hopefully next time I can gauge [sic] their eyes out.”
Moynihan’s twisted logic is of course eerily similar to that of Elliot Rodger, who went on a shooting spree in Isla Vista last spring in an attempt to “punish” women for their lack of interest in dating him, which he declared to be “a crime that can never be forgiven.”
Thankfully, Moynihan, unlike Rodger, was captured by police before he actually succeeded in killing anyone.
Not so thankfully, both of these men have their fans, including some amongst the usual suspects I write about on this blog. On the incel hangout slutHATE – the successor to PUAhate, on which Elliot Rodger was an occasional commenter – both Rodger and Moynihan have become heroes of a sort to some of the more bitter commenters. Or at least the source of much amusement.
In response to news about Moynihan’s trial, one slutHATEr posted a thread asking “Okay, which one of you did this?” “A new supreme gentleman rises,” wrote another in a different thread devoted to the would-be killer.
A third commenter, going by the name Homesick Alien, asked the question “Are Females days numbered?” listing an assortment of incels who’d killed “females” in an act of twisted “revenge” for their lackluster or nonexistent dating lives. In the comments, Homesick Alien chillingly wrote that
I’m sure someone somehow is rightfully very rageful currently planning the next shooting spree . We can only hope it’ll be more elaborate. Female entitlement is off the charts now, they are out of control,. It’s about time they are put in their fucking place.
Another posted a link to Rodger’s 150-page manifesto, suggesting that “it has the potential to motivate incels to damage the females.”
In a thread from several months ago, a slutHATEr calling himselt NewGenious119 went after fellow incels for not supporting shooting sprees enthusiastically enough.
Seriously, is there something mentally wrong with you? Thinking that a school full of sluts and frat stars getting slain by an incel is a bad thing is characteristic of a normalfag mindset. Our ONLY hope for ever getting to fuck multiple hot sluts is if there are enough incels in the western world who snap and cause bloodshed. It’s the only way that sluts and alphas will realize and accept that there are serious consequences for allowing so many males to live their lives in misery.
Emphasis mine.
As it turned out, there was no need for him to worry that other incels didn’t support spree killngs aimed at “sluts,” as assorted commenters soon let him know.
The rogue MRA and American-Women-Boycotter who calls himself John Rambo seconded his sentiment, writing
I wouldn’t do one myself. But I wouldn’t prevent one from happening if I knew it would as long as I wouldn’t die or a girl that willing to fuck me would. …
Honestly, I truly have very little sympathy for the victims.
A commenter calling himself Worthless Trash only had one complaint: that the death tolls weren’t higher.
I just wish these guys would make better plans and kill their targets and more of them, but sadly most of them have a weakened will-power after all the years of rejections and maybe bullying.
Also i don’t care if it will solve the problem or not, i just feel better hearing this, it’s like divine justice, they feel so superior but in the end they die like worms, just like they treat other guys, like worms, so in the end we are all equal.
Still others offered their assent:
I personally rejoice whenever I hear news of a school shooting.
The higher the death count, the better
i like their kill count high, because it’s always satisfying seeing someone arrogant going from rich to poor, beautiful too ugly from popular to dead
While a few commenters spoke out against the idea of mass murder as a reasonable response to a lack of dates, they were in the distinct minority.
And then there was this guy:
i support ERism [Elliot Rodgerism], but I would never do it myself, my brother is a doctor and his career would be ruined if our family name ever got tarnished
It would be a little easier to dismiss all this as merely internet dumbassery, were it not for the fact that Rodger went out and killed 6 people after posting similar comments on the message board that later became slutHATE.
While commenters like these are a distinct minority even in the sordid world of the manosphere, the sad and scary fact is that there are a frightening number of young and not-so-young men who have embraced one of the central assumptions of the murder-spree-supporting incels of slutHATE – the notion that women who put “nice guys” in the “friend zone” are committing some kind of crime against them, and deserve to be punished for it, individually or collectively.
You can see variations on this in assorted memes attacking women – much as Moynihan and Rodgers did – for supposedly preferring “bad boys” and assholes over the “nice guys” of the world.
Other “friend zone” memes are a bit darker.
And darker still:
And somehow even darker than that:
And we’re just begun to scratch the surface here.
In a followup post, I will look at the ways in which the rampant “slutbashing” of Men’s Rights Activists and other manosphere denizens helps to feed the toxic culture of aggrieved sexual entitlement that has contributed to violence against women.
FYI, that’s the anti-authoritarian hero Matthew of lore, so feel free to ask him about how to live dentistry free and ace job interviews.
FYI, that’s the anti-authoritarian hero Matthew of lore, so feel free to ask him about how to live dentistry free and ace job interviews.
I’m guessing these slatterns even get pap smears from “doctors”.
Never change buddy, you’re a real life Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live.
@Matthew
How the hell do you get from ‘watching sex on video’ to ‘can’t control myself, gotta stab someone’?
I’ve also heard some people manage to watch porn without thinking it’s a documentary.
This so hard.
That movie is such a great analogy for letting your misery catch you in an endless loop of suck. And he broke out when he stopped expecting a better day, or a better job, or sex /relationships to make him happy, and instead focused on doing the things that made him happy and letting the rest fall into place if it was meant to be. 🙂
We can be our own worst enemies when we try to control the uncontrollable (ie. our situation, other’s feelings) and make ourselves miserable in the process.
@falconer
Ohhh, cute. My youngest just turned two a couple months back. Its a fun age as they understand enough to get into devious toddler antics, but not enough to really understand what’s going on. 😉
“Reasoning with a two-year-old is about as productive as changing seats on the Titanic.”- Robert Scotellaro
RE: Dressing like a prostitute
I’m a little confused by the whole “dressing like a prostitute” thing. Do prostitutes have work uniforms or something? Do they wear name tags?
These guys probably could use a few dozen reading of the serenity prayer each day-
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Oh dear, a whole heap of steaming manure to wade through here. [holds nose]
And I think it’s EC Comics in the 1950s that caused all the problems over the last half-century. Or possibly so-called “video nasties” in the early 1980s. Plus a generous dollop of Victorian penny dreadfuls over a century ago. Oh, and Titus Andronicus and Jacobean revenge plays at the turn of the 1600s.
In other words, citation needed. I’m all ears.
So your argument has segued from “porn is to blame for rape!” to “women are to blame for their own rapes!”? Call me eccentric, but my own view is that rapists tend to be 100% responsible for rape, and that they’re the only people worthy of finger-pointing – so why are you minimising their rather considerable contribution? ,
Love from someone who patronisingly dismisses them as “slutty” and who thinks they’re to blame for their own sexual assault? I can think of more attractive alternatives.
And “being more spiritual” isn’t the answer. “Being a decent human being who respects the boundaries of other human beings” is. Why do people like you find this idiotically simple concept so difficult to grasp?
Man, the Troll Collective is really turning out for this one, aren’t they? It’s almost like they’re tag-teaming, too–one gets banned or just profoundly refuted, and a new one steps up to take his place. I mean, I suppose on one level, it’s flattering that they all find us so fascinating that they just cannot stay away.
I like how spirituality is being defined as “I’m going to judge the hell out of your slutty skirt and blame you for the lustful feelings of men.” I looked in the Gospels and tried to find an instance of Jesus saying that, but all Jesus had to say was about how prostitutes and tax collectors are going to inherit the kingdom of God way before the self-righteous assholes judging them.
I’m not super-familiar with other religions, so maybe someone else can chime in on what, for instance, the Buddha’s opinion of slutty skirts might have been.
Yes. Yes, they do. And you can start actually showing them some by not calling them “sluts”. What the hell kind of “spiritual” talk is that, anyway?
And, FYI, I wore miniskirts as a girl and still do as a woman in her 40s. Strangely, I don’t often get mistaken for someone whose job it is to “put out”, as you so spiritually put it. Maybe that’s because I don’t actually solicit anyone, and react with open disgust and a one-fingered salute if anyone tries to solicit me. Or maybe it’s because I don’t “need love” so much that I confuse it with sex all the time. Sometimes, a miniskirt is something you just wear because it’s hotter than a baboon’s ass out. Ever consider that?
I strongly disagree.
First of all, defining what’s “normal” strictly in medical terms is highly problematic in and of itself. It is what some sociologists have referred to as “medicalization”; I think we need to remember that there are certain areas of human experience that aren’t in the province of medicine. You say you want acts of mass violence to be considered dispositive symptoms of mental illness – but think of where this would take us. Surely you don’t want to condone garden-variety murder by terming it “normal”, right? Therefore, anyone who commits murder is mentally ill. So is every rapist, child abuser and anyone who commits assault. Let’s take them out of prison and put them in supportive group therapy instead. ALL of them, no exceptions, for the sake of proper labeling. But why stop there? You wouldn’t want to endorse non-violent crimes such as fraud or theft by calling those who perpetrate them “normal” either, right? Therefore … any criminal act is a sign of mental illness now? Note, we are not talking about metaphors here, the logical end to what you are proposing is that any criminal act is literally a symptom of mental illness.
Second, labeling perpetrators of violence insane on this kind of circular logic allows society to ignore the root causes of their violent beliefs. So, you have someone who killed or tried to kill a whole bunch of people. The most comfortable way to deal with this is to dismiss the perpetrator as crazy – and now we can go on living on autopilot. After all, if we were to contemplate for a moment that this person’s beliefs are the product of a culture that fosters entitlement and hatred, as opposed to faulty wiring in his brain, we would actually have to try to fix something really complicated. How much more work that would be than simply pumping someone full of Thorazine and locking him up in a secure ward!
Third, you really don’t want to run the risk of psychiatry becoming a coercive tool of the State. Sure, in this particular instance, we are talking about views that are clearly objectionable and indefensible by any standard. But if you pathologize opinions simply on the ground that you don’t like them – even if you have completely legitimate reasons for not liking a particular set of opinions – you create an extremely dangerous precedent. How long do you think it would take for conservative prosecutors to start involuntarily committing people for having “communist” views? Trust me, you are not endorsing violent crime by treating its perpetrators as violent criminals; but using medicine to discredit political views have been known to produce disastrous consequences in societies that went that route.
I have gone to the police. He sent me a rather scary series of texts talking about being alone with me forever in the woods. Even so, the cops said they couldn’t do anything. I’ve moved about 1500 miles across the country with my soon-to-be husband. In the past year, this man’s letters have become less frequent. I got one last week, but I refuse to respond to any of them. Hopefully, by the time I move again this summer, he’ll have lost my trail for good. It is scary to think how many women live with this.
@freemage:
Thank you kindly!
@Matthew:
Well, one, not all Porn is created equal. Did you know that there is some porn out there that is made by … women !?
http://img.pandawhale.com/40145-Dramatic-Woodchuck-I-lied-gif-HaEO.gif
And there’s stuff out there that’s made by men and is not rapey and hateful.
But here I am trying to argue with you when you’ve clearly made up your mind already. Go be superior to we who have sex drives and wellness care somewhere else, kay?
And then there’s this, the latest from Jessica Valenti:
So this oh-so-spiritual assumption that we’re all prostitutes because we’re not dressed in baggy sacks (and in Egypt, Afghanistan, and Arabia, even women who ARE dressed in baggy sacks still get sexually assaulted and catcalled on a daily basis), we must have it coming to us when we use the streets to get to work, school, doctors’ appointments and the like. And the abuse we are forced to take from random catcallers and sexual assailants takes a mental toll.
Even as an 11-year-old, I knew that being constantly pestered by boys (and MEN — yes, even little girls are not immune) has a terrible effect on one’s brains. It causes one to worry and obsess constantly over one’s safety. And that gets in the way of school, work, and even one’s physical health.
But yes, by all means, please tell us we “need love” because we’re just sluts who dress like we’re asking to be raped, even as we’re still trying to work out a magic formula of dressing that will make it all stop (spoiler: THERE ISN’T ANY). I’m sure that’s not problematic AT ALL!
@paradoxicalintention
-bows-
XD
unfortunately I was only halfway through the comments when I wrote this and I didn’t get to the part where he had been kicked out.
“Every single woman on the planet has some level of PTSD”
Is it a stretch to say that straight up?
I can’t even wrap my mind about it honestly precisely because I’m not a woman. But when you consider that so called “incels” feel “oppressed” because they can’t have sex with “hot women”. and juxtapose that with being under siege constantly just because of one’s gender then yeah, all i can do is laugh derisively.
“Incels” need to get off the fucking chans and start actually doing shit with their lives.
And as we all know, women are incapable of participating in misogynistic activities or abusing other women.
Trolly was an idiot (and I’ve screened his blather), but porn is actually pretty awful.
And I see David has unscreened him. OK, then.
I firmly agree that mainstream pornography has a huge impact on men sense of sexual entitlement… But everything else that dudes said was stupid.
You know latest MRA news about women who oppose the poor treatment of female mainstrean porn stars and how it has a bad influence on society? We’re “slut shaming.”
-dies-
*cracks knuckles* Alright, I’m coming off of a very good Rebirth run, so clutch your metaphorical pearls, Matthew (How very dare you sully my little brother’s name like this).
<blockquoteI think it’s the rampant Internet porn that’s causing all this hatred. Porn makes men think that women are only good for sex and that everyone in the world but them is having sex (in graphic detail). Porn basically teaches rape, hatred, and indifference to the value of human life, which ultimately promotes murder.
Citation needed, for one thing.
For another: Yes, it’s good to be critical of porn that objectifies women and makes them out to be sex objects.
No, it’s not good to blame it when men go on stabbing sprees because women won’t fuck them. That’s all on the men who are doing the stabbing. Stop giving these assholes an out. Blame the stabby bastards who would do such a thing, not their circumstances.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1290449/picard-facepalm-o.gif
In the words of Lily Allen: Fuck you. Fuck you very, very much.
This kind of behavior is NOT HELPING. You’re CONTRIBUTING TO THE PROBLEM. How? By giving rapists an out and blaming their victim. VICTIM. Learn what it means! “Victim” doesn’t mean “did something to deserve it”. “Victim” means “taken advantage of and hurt by the actions of someone else”.
Clothes are not an invitation, and you do NOT get to police what “girls” wear. Stop shaming women and start teaching men the “value of human life” that you were preaching about a paragraph ago.
Also, did you know that women wearing burqas are raped too? How very fucking intriguing.
Rape is NOT ABOUT SEX. It is about POWER.
If rape was about how many partners a person has had, virgins wouldn’t get raped. But they do.
If rape was about how much she had to drink, then children wouldn’t get raped. But they do.
If rape was about beauty, then only able-bodied, neurotypical white women would get raped. But they’re not the only ones.
If rape was about what you were wearing, then rape statistics would skyrocket in the summer. But they don’t.
If rape was about what you were wearing, then women wearing completely covering religious garb wouldn’t be raped. But they are.
And fuck you and your holier-than-thou pseudo-spirituality. How dare you use your religion as a soapbox to blame women for rape. It’s fucking obscene.
No, let’s not confuse them, because they are one and the fucking same. “Sadistic slut bashing” and “legit” criticism of “slutty behavior” are one and the fucking same. They both stem from sexist bullshit spewed from the mouths of “I know better” men, you’re just trying to dress yours up so we think you’re on “our” side. Fuck you and your mansplaining fuckery.
It’s none of your fucking business what women are doing with their bodies. Period. Full stop. The fucking end. You can disapprove of it and “criticize” it all you want, but you do NOT get to dictate our behaviors. Fuck right off. Neither you or anyone else on this fucking planet should police a woman for who or how many people she chooses sleeps with.
And yeah, “slutty” girls need love. Unconditional, nonjudgmental love. Do you know what that is? Because I sincerely doubt you fucking do.
(I broke my mouse and had to get my spare because of this, I hope you’re fucking happy.)
All women have PTSD? I…no, it doesn’t work like that. Some VERY quick math says 10%+ do though, since somewhere around 20% are raped at some point, and half of rape victims develop PTSD. So yeah, 10%+.
That 50% of rape victims develop PTSD thing? The only group for which that group is higher is the military, and it isn’t that much higher. So shit be fucked up for sure, but the gross generalization is a bit offensive to those of us with actual diagnosed disabiling PTSD.
Tangentially, my day tomorrow involves being stuck surrounded by loud equipment and pretty much unable to move while my mouth is poked at. I hate the dentist SO MUCH. There will be benzos, and I may see if R will take me back to the shop with him afterwards to distract me (I need to use some of their equipment to build Darwin’s enclosure, not absolute NEED, but it’d make it much easier)
ParadoxicalIntention?
I…I kind of love you a little bit. Can we be friends?
@Mouse Farts
Fuck yeah we can be friends. C’mere and hug me, friend!
http://i.imgur.com/RA6Es.jpg
Hugs for all!
I just don’t understand the argument that slutty clothes are responsible for rape. It just isn’t true. In my state there was a nursing home employee who got arrested for raping patients. Does Matthew think that 90 year old women with dementia were dressed like slutty tempstresses?
How dare they get Alzheimer’s…and wear those oh-so-tempting backless hospital gowns, too!
Most porn is crap, but it’s not like it’s impossible to make porn that’s respectful of women. There’s plenty of good indie stuff.