In a sort of rebuke to men who complain that they’re “too big” to wear condoms, one Swedish gal pulled a condom over her leg and up nearly to her knee, and posted a pic documenting this feat to Instagram. This pic:
Naturally, some men have reacted with outrage. When the pic was posted recently on WomensRightsNews, a host of dudes popped up in the comments to point out that not all men are comfortable in regular sized condoms. (Uh, I’m pretty sure that’s why they make bigger sizes, dudes.)
And then there was this guy.
Yes, this is his response to a picture of a woman’s leg with a condom stretched over it.
But as it turns out, he was just getting started. Responding to one commenter who took issue with his, er, analysis, he spat forth these giant gobs of text. I won’t summarize them, because, honestly, my eyes glazed over after about the third word in ALL CAPS.
Another commenter raised an interesting point:
Huh. That must be a reference to the legendary Agent Orange files. I guess Jayme is a reader of A Voice for Men?
He then moved on to some, er, art criticism, I guess?
For what it’s worth, dude, Andy Warhol made a painting using his own semen, as did Marcel Duchamp. And this guy made a portrait of Justin Bieber out of other people’s pubic hair. So go wild, dude, stick wool up your urethra in the name of dude art!
Jayme then went on to address the wage gap issue, and then that whole “turning men into nothing more than egg fertilizers” thing that is apparently the grand aim of feminism.
I just have a couple of questions.
How exactly did Jayme Crandall become a “Top Commenter?” I think something might have gone wrong with the selection process here.
Also, why are so many angry dudes reading something called WomensRightsNews?
Ok, that’s last question was a joke. OF COURSE angry dudes are reading WomensRightsNews. Hell, there’s probably no more effective way to reel in the angry dude demographic than to mention feminism online. They are drawn to articles about feminism with the same powerful mystical force that draws cats to paper bags:
H/T — Sunnysombrera, who posted a link to this whole wondrous discussion in the comments here. Thanks!
@Bina
Could I steal this and modify? I deal with a lot of young men who would rather come for a swab than use a condom and I must confess I have little to offer them apart from “You know what’s more uncomfortable? Syphilis.”
@Jennifer:
Reminds me of r/feminism, or r/twoxchromosomes, both of which have been notorious for harboring many, many MRAs.
I went to sleep at 2300. And couldn’t. And realised I had not eaten today (Did I post this else thread ? I think the fact I can’t remember is bad)
So I scrubbed a roasting pan, put on the oven and roasted a beef joint. And I managed to cook oven chips(5 mins cook in heated oven) and cook some frozen peas.
So….I went from feeling very bad to feeling vaguely competant.
And I ate a meal. Eating a meal is good
My husband (we met in college nearly 30 years ago, so there was a long relationship even before we solemnized it with marriage) was, happily, perfectly willing to use condoms. Since we happened to be totally monogamous and free of STDs, when I went on the pill we stopped using condoms.
At one point when my prescription ran out and there was a window of time that I could’ve potentially been fertile, we tried lambskins (they’re not rated as safe for viral STDs, but again not an issue here). Was THAT a mistake. The damn things smelled like raw lanolin. It was literally a boner-killer, unless one finds the 4H exhibits at the county fair erotic. (The other thing I remember about it is that it was not particularly snug-fitting, but rather resembled a sausage casing– which makes sense when you think about it.)
We should make pube-art animations, and then post them on Youpube. OK, that was a terrible pun, I’m being very bad.
Something tells me that the kind of guy who posts stuff like that probably would see himself having an STI as a proud accomplishment. “Take that, you dirty fee-males,” he slyly smirks as he runs his “game” in some seedy bar.
By the way, someone should tweet at Joni Ernst and let her know that this Swedish lady has outdone her bread-bags-over-the-shoes story big time!
It takes almost zero effort to get MRAs and anti feminists angry and they say we are the illogical, humorless, overacting ones that make false accusations.
I hope they do clean r/feminism, TwoXChromosomes and other women spaces it’s getting on my nerves.
Jennifer
That’s the reason I left imgur. During #ShirtGate, there was a massive amount of “FEMINISTS ARE SCUMBAGS! They made a poor man CRY for wearing a SHIRT!”, and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
No one screeching about that was looking for a “debate”. They just wanted a goddamned argument so they can point and go “SEE?! EVIL FEEEEMALES! How DARE you be uncomfortable about that poor man’s shirt?!”
A person “debated” with me about it, and said that the threat against Anita Sarkeesian to shoot up the university was “obviously a troll”, so we should have “just ignored it”. I asked him if we should ignore every shooting threat then because “they’re trolling”, and they never responded.
If these people could quit masturbating to the videos of their high school’s debate team’s finals and get off their collective asses to learn what a debate actually is and where it’s appropriate to do so, that would make my life so much easier. Mostly because maybe then they’d learn that not every single person who disagrees with them is going to “debate” on command or “educate them” about why they’ve got their heads up their asses while they just want to argue and try to prove people wrong.
Not every feminist is here to educate, nor do we have to waste our time on asshats who obviously don’t want to learn should we choose to educate.
Oh, me too. It was my choice until I hit my mid-30s, when I started to get tired of all the side effects (weight gain, higher risk of depression), and decided it was time for the snip ‘n’ clip. Two good, reliable methods: Pill, and sterilization. Plus condoms as a backup and STD preventative, no matter what.
Oh, absolutely! And OMGWTFLOL at them finding an STD test more desirable than using condoms. I would have thought that needing testing (and turning up with a raging case of the clap) would be by far the more embarrassing of the two!
IUD = condom…hmmm…
I have an IUS. Getting it put in was unexpectedly frightening. I’d never been in stirrups before and I never want to be again. I like to feel grounded, and the helplessness made me completely panic. The speculum hurt. They went a size down, it also hurt. They used the smallest one possible, which was merely horribly uncomfortable. Also cold. They used the metal ones although I found out at my check-up that plastic ones were available, so I don’t know why. There is something truly nauseating about cold metal prodding into your vagina. I wanted to back out before they had even measured my cervix. They convinced me to stick it out while they did that, which was incredibly painful, but they used it as leverage because a) getting the coil wouldn’t be MORE painful than the measuring thingy and b) since I had already been through ungodly torment, I may as well go through with the rest.
SO painful. It was like instead of a device the size of a hairpin, they had stuck an iron bar in there, through my cervix and up to my chest. That’s how much the cramping radiated. It died down to merely a really bad period pain after that, but on the bus home it ramped up again. My eyelids were sweating, I was wringing the handle thingy on the seat in front of me and groaning and swearing to myself the whole hour or so home. When I got home I managed to stay upright long enough to boil a kettle and fill a hot water bottle, by clawing at the kitchen counters and shouting. I would have gone straight to bed after that, but the intensity of the cramps was such that I had to take my hot water bottle and go cling to it while on the loo until I felt relatively sure there was nothing more for the cramps to expel.
Then, I went to bed. I curled up in the foetal position with my hot water bottle and reflected on the fact that if the cramps (I say cramps, but it was one continuous cramp) were any more intense my womb would collapse in on itself, turn into a black hole and destroy the world. And a good thing, too, if it did. I could feel my usually innocent uterus turning into a clenched fist, I cannot describe how vividly I could FEEL it contracting. Slooooooowly as I lay there motionless because somehow moving made it worse, the cramps started to space out. After a couple of hours there was a long enough gap for me to pass out in. Four or five hours of feverish dozing later, I got up and because I am a fucking superhero I managed to keep my plans to go over to my mum’s and cook homemade seekh kebabs from scratch, and they were delicious. I kept my hot water bottle in my waistband the whole time, then had a long bath and went to bed early. Then I did basically that – existing either in a bath or with my hot water bottle, plus painkillers galore – for about two weeks until the cramps stopped being an all-day-every-day thing.
This was just under a year ago, and I reckon it has only been in the past couple of months that I have stopped getting period-like cramping sessions a couple to a few times a week. I got the coil after switching from Depo Provera, which would have been excellent were it not for it definitely causing osteoporosis and also me being terribly afraid of needles and numbness (if you don’t know, Depo is administered every 11 weeks via an arse injection which leaves one, or at least left me, with a dead leg for the rest of that day). Depo also lingers after you come off it, and it stopped my periods completely, but it seems to have finally worn off because almost exactly coinciding with the coil-cramps finally abating, I got a period for the first time in 4 years. At least it was a bit lighter than usual.
Suck it up and put on a motherfucking condom…
So, their complaints about condoms are that they don’t feel good and feel really tight. Both of these things can be rectified (or should I say “erectified”?) by trying new condoms.
Meanwhile, birth control (if it’s hormonal) can cause mood swings, nausea, headaches, breast tenderness, weight gain, spotting between periods, a decrease in sex drive, and cause serious health complications. IUDs, meanwhile, can cause pain during insertion and make periods a hell of a lot worse. Plus complications that can come if the IUD perforates the uterus.
Not to mention that condoms are relatively cheap while birth control for women is typically much more expensive and that you can get condoms without a prescription.
Beyond that, though, condoms protect against STDs. IUDs do not. Neither does hormonal birth control. Therefore, there’s an additional reason to ask men to wear condoms when they have sex.
Then one has to remember that women are constantly encouraged to and, yes, expected to, use birth control, both to protect themselves against pregnancy and their boyfriends from having to use condoms. Additionally, if a man didn’t feel comfortable having sex with a woman who wasn’t on birth control or using some other form of it (like a diaphragm) even when he was using a condom because he preferred to use multiple forms of birth control to be extra cautious, then I’d get that completely. Hell, if these men are so opposed to using condoms, I’ll even let them feel that way as long as they can be good sports about women rejecting them for not using condoms. (But of course, they have to shame the woman for “oppressing” them by refusing to have unsafe sex.) Still, they’d be acting against their own best interests in many cases by opening themselves up to the risk of STDs and unplanned pregnancies.
And Kat, I’m so sorry. That sounds fucking awful. Jayme really is a complete and utter numbskull who knows nothing about how shitty the side effects of birth control for women can be.
Shorter MRAspeak: “I don’t wanna put a piece of rubber on my ding-dong for the three minutes I can manage, so why don’t you alter your entire body chemistry instead?”
@friday jones,
LOL what a moron. I’d be interested to know about his statistical research into the lack of wage gap for childless women.
After a friend of mine got in some trouble in which a boy told her he was too big to wear a condom I made a post online advocating (as a man) that there is NO valid excuse for a man to not wear a condom. That there are condoms in varying materials and sizes to suit practically any need, and if a guy says otherwise he’s lying and people deserve to have sex with people who aren’t liars. That was eighteen months ago and I still get angry messages from guys accusing me of selling out my gender, violating bro code, and having a small penis.
Call them MRAs or meninists or whatever moniker they go by these days, they’re insecure and twisted and don’t care in the least who is hurt by the consequences of their actions.
Back when Regretsy was still a thing, one of the worst things posted there was a guy who put paint up his asshole and shat it back out onto a canvas.
I guess the “logic” is more like:
1. men try to have sex with as many women as they can because evolution
2. women’s job is to say no, and in so doing keep an orderly society
3. women who say yes are worthless sluts and don’t deserve any consideration, so men not only won’t use condoms with them, but they will also refuse to pay for child support.
Some may argue “yes, but then what about all the bullshit about incels? why are women also accused of oppressing men if they DON’T have sex with them?”
And here it gets more complicated, because the assumption is that, if women didn’t have sex with ANYBODY, then all the Nice Guys (TM) would have it easy finding a girlfriend, like in the Old Days (TM).
The misandry arises from women sleeping with SOME men and not others: they (we) on one side do nothing to keep society in order, because we don’t act as the “tamer” of the wild beastly incontrollable male sexuality, and, on the other hand, we don’t even provide sex to all men, leaving some of them horribly oppressed. So they see it as a lose-lose.
I would almost feel sorry for them, if they weren’t so horribly dangerous.
Don’t know if it’s been mentioned in the comments already (I didn’t have time to read them all yet), but this girl Zara Larsson specifically asked other Instagram and Twitter users to stop calling her a “feminist genius” since it attracts so much hate messages and threats.
But it’s totally not about hating women, I’m sure.
I have a feeling that doesn’t convince MRAs since after all THEY would never have an STD nor would they lower themselves to fucking some disease-ridden whore (and I’m pretty sure that is exactly how they would put it).
I changed my username/stopped interacting on Imgur for pretty much the same reason – its most vocal component now seems to be whining man children.
My Mr’s apparently stopped commenting / has drastically reduced its screen time for the same reason.
Remember a few months back when every third front page image was about how unfair the world is to men/how wimminz get all the breaks?
On one that was bemoaning the fact that dam wimminz “get” the final say on abortion / proclaiming that the father should have say/veto power, my husband replied something to re effect of, “If you don’t want a woman to abort – or not abort – ‘your baby’, put a condom on and/or only sleep with women who you know are of the same mind as you on the matter,” and got downvoted into oblivion.
Because, you know, preventing babbies is all on women until pregnancy, at which point men should get to decide -_-
@Bina
Overall, good list. Some comments;
#2, Well this is an American problem. the rest of the world allows a wider range of condom widths or even custom sizes. And it’s not just a matter of comfort, but a matter of condom reliability as well. Here’s a thread on r/sex on the issue. The fda limits condom width to 57mm with the idea that 90% of men will be small enough to fit. The other 10% get the “it fits over your arm” lecture, ignoring that each additional mm of penile circumference increases the risk of breakage by 50 – 100%. It’s not enough that a condom physically fits over an appendage, it has to stand up to a vigorous beating while being stretched out as well. The typical rate of condom failure isn’t pretty; it hovers around the failure rate of withdrawal.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that people would rather blame failure on other’s incompetence rather than admit that they’re at risk of failure as well. If a guy tells you that condoms are too tight on him, believe him. Not because you should have unprotected sex if you don’t want to, but because a broken condom won’t protect you. Have a plan b. If the guy is genuine he’ll be overjoyed to find a way to have safe sex, if he is only interested in control he won’t be. A surprising number of men are into tricking women about condom use. It’s the rape that doesn’t get called such.
Some other links as I’m out of time;
the impact of penis size on sex and health
condom usage linked to condom usage
monetizing the male ego-about large sized condoms
@proxime
I think it’s because imgur is essentially Reddit’s little photo-posting brother. All the misogyny flows downhill.
Have the larger dudes tried “textured for her” condoms? When my boyfriend and I tried that sort, it was too loose, with the bumps and ridges providing extra length for the rubber to stretch.
Forgot to say:
Jayme: “All to provide for someone to raise our children, make them hate us…”
I knew a couple of guys who thought that. They left when the kids were little, and after a few years without contact, they decide they want “their” children back now that the baby phase is over, and spend a weekend out of two yelling at the kids because none of it is the quality time they expected. Then they can’t imagine any reason why the children would hate them aside from their evil ex turning them against them.