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Paul Elam, you're no MLK: A Voice for Men offers a $100 bounty for a clear photo of its latest feminist foe

Cartoon by Sage Gerard. aka "Victor Zen," AVFM's golen boy of campus activism
Cartoon by Sage Gerard, AVFM’s golden boy of campus activism

Today I’d like to share with you two quotations. One is from Martin Luther King Jr., the civil rights leader whose legacy we honor today. The other is from someone who considers himself the leader of a human rights movement that follows in the footsteps of King.

The first quote:

Sooner or later all the people of the world will have to discover a way to live together in peace, and thereby transform this pending cosmic elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. If this is to be achieved, man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.

The second:

[Name redacted], I hope you are looking forward to our date. I certainly am. … [I]t is clear that you have gone to great lengths to keep your image off the internet.

Nice try.

Is that a threat? No, it is a promise. Big difference.

As we have been saying here for years, the time for collegial, polite discussion and negotiation with these piles of refuse is over. …

We have people working on securing her image. Meantime, $100.00 to the first person who gets us a clear image of her which we can verify. Something large and clear enough to be used as a feature image is preferred.

As you have probably gathered, the first quote comes from Dr. King. It’s from his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, in which he sets forth a powerful argument for the transformative power of nonviolence, which, as he notes, “nonviolence is not sterile passivity, but a powerful moral force which makes for social transformation.”

The second quote comes from Paul Elam of A Voice for Men. I’ve taken the liberty of redacting the name of his target.

Yes, this self-described “humanitarian” is launching yet another campaign of doxxing and intimidation aimed at an ideological enemy who just happens to be female. And once again, as he so notoriously did several years ago, Elam is offering a bounty for the personal information of one of his targets – in this case a clear photograph of her face.

It’s a strategy that draws not on the tactics of Martin Luther King but on those of his enemies – in particular the Ku Klux Klan, which in the 1960s posted “wanted posters” featuring the faces of civil rights activists, including King himself. Some of those whose faces appeared on these “wanted posters,” most famously King himself, were later murdered.

In more recent years, anti-abortion activists have posted similar “wanted posters” featuring the pictures and addresses of doctors who perform abortions – some of whom were themselves later murdered.

Now AVFM has taken up this classic technique of intimidation.

Last year, AVFM activists – including the site’s “activism director” Attila Vinczer — posted hundreds of wanted-style posters of feminist philosophy professor Adele Mercier on and around the campus of Queen’s University in Kingston Ontario. The year before, a Men’s Rights group in Edmonton closely associated with A Voice for Men put up similar posters targeting Lise Gotell, the chair of women’s and gender studies at the University of Alberta.

We can only assume that Elam has a similar campaign in mind for his latest target.

So what are Elam’s charges against this new woman to hate?

According to him, the woman, a professor at Kennesaw State University in Georgia, accused AVFM activist Sage Gerard (aka Victor Zen) of “demonstrat[ing] a desire to kill women” in a complaint she filed with the KSU administration.

Elam has posted the complaint on his website. Her name appears nowhere in the complaint, nor does anything about Gerard wanting to kill women.

[ Clarification: Elam has now posted a separate campus police report about an incident in which Gerard came to the office of the Interdisciplinary Studies department requesting to see the professor; the police report contains her name as well as notes from the officer saying that “she has seen the cartoons, videos and blogs online and believes Gerard demonstrates having violent fantasies about hurting and murdering women.” ]

This anonymous complaint, along with another complaint about Gerard, were evidently triggered by a video Gerard posted last year of a late-night “sticker run” he made on the KSU campus.

The video, which Gerard filmed and narrated on the fly, is more than a little creepy. In it, Gerard describes his preparations for his “activism” as if he were launching some sort of covert operation; at one point he talks about hiding his stickers in the sleeves of his jacket. As he heads out the door to start his stickering, he announces “let’s go fuck with people.”

Gerard clearly sees what he’s doing as a deliberately provocative act. He talks about putting AVFM stickers in places “where they cannot be ignored” and about his desires to “push the boundaries” by plastering them in places they’re really not supposed to be put – most notably in a women’s bathroom where, thankfully, no women were present.

Weirdly, given that he later posted the video on his YouTube channel, Gerard also took steps in the video to conceal his identity and cover his tracks, wiping his fingerprints off of some of the stickers after pasting them in a bathroom. Later, apparently wanting to look as much like a serial killer as possible, he dons latex gloves.

At one point, Gerard jokes about how he’d like to paste one of the stickers over the mouth of a feminist to shut her up.

His behavior in the video and in his interactions with others on campus, as well as his affiliation with AVFM, clearly rattled some on the KSU campus. The anonymous complainant to the KSU administration suggested that Gerard’s actions were creating a “hostile work environment” for some faculty and staff and making students fear for their safety.

Elam has posted the actual complaints, which, in what seems to be a pretty clear violation of privacy, were sent to Gerard with the identity of one of the accusers laid bare. Here’s the anonymous complaint that Elam has attributed to his current target:

Among other similar offenses by the same individual, a KSU student (Sage Gerard) posed as a custodian and entered the women’s bathrooms on campus, placing stickers intended to intimidate women. … Gerard’s behavior indicates contemplation of violence against women (he posts art depicting guns pointed at women’s symbols, as well as other violently anti-feminist themes). His behavior has created a hostile work environment for multiple KSU employees who do not only fear intimidation and harassment, but actual physical violence against themselves and their families. KSU students have also expressed real fears for their own physical safety on campus . . . I do not feel safe on this campus. As an advocate of women, I feel strongly that I am at real risk of becoming the target of violent retaliatory actions perpetrated by Sage Gerard and the organization sponsoring him, A Voice For Men.

Emphasis mine.

The KSU administration investigated these complaints, and concluded that Gerard was not responsible for creating a hostile work environment, and that his speech was protected under the first amendment. The complaints were dismissed; no charges against Gerard were even filed.

He was asked to stay out of women’s bathrooms in the future. And the KSU counsel who prepared the report also had this suggestion:

We do recommend that Mr. Gerard continue to refrain from further contact with the persons who made the hotline reports (or those who Mr. Gerard believes may have made them), to avoid any real or perceived retaliation. In addition, we recommend that Mr. Gerard refrain from further contact with the members of the Interdisciplinary Studies Department to avoid escalating the situation to the point that it becomes a hostile environment in the legal sense.

That’s right. Gerard wasn’t charged with anything. He faced no sanctions. He was simply asked not to contact those on campus he was making uncomfortable.

But apparently this “no contact” request is so offensive to Gerard and his AVFM comrades that they have decided to launch the very retaliation campaign that the KSU complainants were afraid of. Thus, once again, proving their critics have been right to label them a hate group in the first place.

AVFM’s new target joins a long list of women (and a few men) who have been doxxed and/or harassed in retaliation for their “crimes” against Paul Elam’s delicate sensibilities.

Elam started off this parade of harassment shortly after this site started by attempting to get a woman fired from her job at a women’s shelter for a comment she made here in which she wondered aloud if Elam had a criminal record.

Since then, Elam and his AVFM cronies have:

Started Register-Her, a fake “Offenders Registry” designed to vilify and intimidate women. (The site is now in the hands of AVFM defector John Hembling.)

Launched a hate campaign against a college student for attending a demonstration and making a few jokes on Twitter.

Gleefully participated in the unending harassment of a Canadian feminist that one AVFM author dubbed “little red frothing fornication mouth,” for her crime of … arguing with some AVFM activists at a demonstration once. Unflattering images of “Big Red” at that demonstration have since been plastered all over the internet; she even has a page devoted to her on KnowYourMeme.

Launched a years-long harassment campaign against feminist writer Jessica Valenti. Starting with a 2011 post in which Elam himself attacked her as a “stupid, hateful bitch,” the hate campaign has moved on to  labeling her a “child abuser,” posting her personal photos on AVFM without permission, putting her on Register-Her.com, and libeling her by making up inflammatory quotations and attributing them to her. (AVFM’s “social media director” and serial quote-fabricator Janet Bloomfield was evidently permabanned from Twitter for her persistent harassment of Valenti.)

Supported GamerGate’s harassment of cultural critic Anita Sarkeesian, with AVFM’s PR whiz Bloomfield doing her part by blatantly libeling her on Twitter.

Launched a campaign of vilification against a Chicago-area “mommy blogger” for writing that she felt uncomfortable with the idea of a male day care staffer taking young girls to the bathroom.

Along with an assortment of white supremacists and online assholes, joined in a hate campaign against a young woman wrongly accused of trashing applications from white guys as a staffer at a college admissions office. Elam declared the woman, by name, to be a “warped by ideology” with “deep seated prejudices that guided her unscrupulous actions.” The blog was a hoax, and the woman Elam so eagerly vilified had nothing to do with it.

Repeatedly accused a Detroit schoolteacher – with zero evidence – of sending death threats to a hotel that was scheduled to host AVFM’s conference last summer.

Published an article falsely accusing a male feminist blogger of being a “confessed rapist,” because, as Elam puts it, “karma is a BITCH.” (AVFM’s defense? It was being “satirical.”)

Accused a former AVFM staffer, with no evidence, of absconding with money donated for a men’s shelter.

Attacked feminist and skeptic Rebecca Watson on numerous occasions, including a post from Elam in which he used the term “whore” several dozen times.

And of course AVFM has accused me of everything from starting Reddit’s terrible BeatingWomen subreddit to somehow faking my site’s traffic stats on Alexa. (AVFM has never even bothered to provide “evidence” for any of their various accusations against me, perhaps because none of them are even remotely true.) Elam has posted bizarre sexual fantasies involving me, called me a pervert, and publicly suggested that I kill myself. One of AVFMs most, er, enthusiastic activists once left me a creepy, threatening voicemail at 1:38 AM. And AVFM “activism director” Attila L. Vinczer has tried to dox me, with somewhat comic results.

This isn’t even close to an exhaustive list of AVFM’s assorted retaliatory campaigns against feminists and other critics.

AVFM has made it very clear to the world – through its actions and its rhetoric – that if someone starts putting up AVFM posters or stickers on your campus or in your neighborhood, you have every reason to worry.

AVFM is not a civil or human rights group by any stretch of the imagination. It is a hate group, plain and simple, less akin to Martin Luther King Jr. than it is to those who so stubbornly fought against him.

NOTE: Here is Sage Gerard’s (aka Victor Zen’s) video of his sticker “activism.” You can probably see why people found it a little unsettling.

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Lea
Lea
9 years ago

I miss LBT, and I will miss Kitteh.

So much.

Lea
Lea
9 years ago

I finally saw those shitty comments about her on Feministe.

I had no idea that happened. I’m disappointed and very sorry Kitteh has been subjected to that.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

Anyway, that’s not so important. My real frustration was with the double standard. Can’t hurt one person, but it’s okay to scoff when someone else is hurt. I just don’t understand, no matter the reason, why that is okay.

Okay, it took me a while to figure out what you were talking about, so let me know if this is off-base.

Here’s a paraphrase of what went down with kylabg, so that maybe you can follow the thought process:

– kylabg uses an ableist word that this community doesn’t approve of using in the manner zie used it (as an insult)
– kylabg is informed, without any kind of flaming, that this community doesn’t use those kinds of words in that kind of way
– kylabg attempts to double-down by explaining that zie has a private definition for “crazy” that isn’t ableist, and anyway it’s okay because zie has a diagnosis and that makes zie above criticism because it’s unfair to ask zir to comply with community standards
– there is a brief back and forth in which kylabg is again politely informed that we don’t use those kinds of words as insults
– kylabg gets upset and flounces

When you do something that is wrong, you are not the victim. If you attempt to frame yourself as a victim and change the conversation from what you did that was wrong to your hurt feelings over being told that it was wrong, that is an illegitimate transfer. Not only have you transgressed against someone, you’re asking the party you wronged to reassure you that you’re not a bad person and transgressing against the wronged party a second time. Nobody is obligated to reassure you and make you feel better after you have wronged another party.

This isn’t a double standard. It’s just a standard.

Falconer
9 years ago

@marinerachel:

As long as they’re not talking to me in the manner Donna does, I’ll even listen!

I gotta admit, I got a dark chuckle out of watching her try to tilt at you, and at Fibinachi later with that whole “You gotta know this many Biology 101 terms before I will talk to you about genetics!” and then moving the goalposts.

@seranvali: I think the problem was, the thread wasn’t coming to a conclusion.

@Ken L.:

on here you have to be so careful to express yourself fully in one shot.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rewritten things before eventually deciding it would be better if I didn’t stick in my oar.

WatermelonSugar
WatermelonSugar
9 years ago

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rewritten things before eventually deciding it would be better if I didn’t stick in my oar.

Yes. This.

The shite side effect is that it leaves me, personally, with a lot of thought and feelings that I don’t otherwise have an outlet for–I don’t post elsewhere on the Internet, and my Feminist-minded contacts in the real world are really, really limited. It’s extra fleh-y when Really Big Important Things are discussed.

dorabella
dorabella
9 years ago

OK, as we are in stream of consciousness mode, it seems, I have to say that, as a mostly lurker still in moderation, the people who have taught me the most are Policy of Madness and Anarchonyst, (who, now that I think about it, I haven’t seen in the thread of doom, nor here). I don’t always agree with PoM, but in a couple of occasions he/she has really helped me see things in a different way. So thank you.
I’m not sure I fit here, and I’m not sure why. Sometimes I have the feeling I’m just missing some empathy neurons. But that’s my problem, and thanks to everybody who helps.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rewritten things before eventually deciding it would be better if I didn’t stick in my oar.

Yeah, I do that, too. And sometimes I write a massive tl;dr and then look at it before I hit Post Comment, and go back and delete 95% of it and change it to 1-2 sentences.

Falconer
9 years ago

Yeah, there are words that I don’t use here, just like there are words I didn’t use in front of my grandmother.

Doesn’t mean I can’t use those words under other circumstances.

Kylagb said,

If feels odd though, being muzzled as a consumer/survivor but that is not news.

and I admit I’m a bit confused as to why she thinks being a consumer (a consumer of what? This blog?) means that being asked to follow the local guidelines is a “muzzling.”

sunnysombrera
9 years ago

@gilshalos
@WWTH

I also had an ED, so I empathise. It got pretty bad, but I finally pulled back when my stomach said “fuck you for not feeding me” and gave me an ulcer, plus some other health problems.

Newt
Newt
9 years ago

If feels odd though, being muzzled as a consumer/survivor but that is not news.

and I admit I’m a bit confused as to why she thinks being a consumer (a
consumer of what? This blog?) […]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_health_consumer , if I read correctly.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

I’ve probably been around long enough to be a regular, though I don’t comment too regularly these days.

Even my comments get ignored much of the time. 😛 And by that I mean nobody directly responds to them. It can be sad sometimes when I put work into what I thought was a rather clever comment or bit of fiction and nobody responds to it, but then again my optimistic assumption is that some people get a chuckle out of it but just don’t have anything to say in response. It happens to everyone, and I know I don’t respond to every comment that I enjoy or agree with.

I definitely do the “write up this huge response, delete it and rewrite it, delete and rewrite, delete and decide not to post anything” thing. And yeah, like WatermelonSugar, not commenting means I don’t really get an outlet. But eh. A little time and the frustration fades, plus I get one less chance to say something misguided.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
9 years ago

Hey everyone. I just wanted to apologize for my absence from the most recent thread of doom. I was on vacation all weekend and when I got back and finally got caught up on the thread, I had no fucking idea what to do that wouldn’t just make it all worse. I’m really sorry I wasn’t there for everybody and I hope everyone is doing OK.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

the people who have taught me the most are Policy of Madness and Anarchonyst, (who, now that I think about it, I haven’t seen in the thread of doom, nor here). I don’t always agree with PoM, but in a couple of occasions he/she has really helped me see things in a different way. So thank you.

LOL I’m flattered. You’re welcome, for whatever I might have done that helped you.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
9 years ago

Lurker, I know hiw you feel, for a long time I felt like no one was reading my comments or even noticed I was here. Imagine my surprise when David announced I’d been made a mod and people cheered the decision! I promise, even if people aren’t replying to your comments, they are reading them.

Cyberwulf
Cyberwulf
9 years ago

As long as feminism tolerates transphobia, these kinds of blow-ups will happen. It happened a number of times on I Blame the Patriarchy even though Twisty repeatedly stated that trans women are women and TERFs (which is a descriptor and not a slur) were not welcome.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
9 years ago

Still haven’t got anything witty or perceptive to say, just wanted to vent a bit, if that’s okay.

I’m relatively new to commenting on WHTM, been around for about a year soon, and I don’t comment very frequently (I sometimes pop up to have a go at particularly thick-skulled trolls). Yet I, too, think of this community as a place where I can honestly be myself. My work day today went by in a blur, as I was, and am, still pretty much in a state of shock after the whole incident.

I missed the fallout thread when it happened, but I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. It really was just a matter of time. I didn’t say anything earlier, because like Falconer, I am a cishet white man. My privilege blinds me to untold many problematic aspects in our everyday culture. Still a feminist ally in training and somewhere in the 101 stage of trans issues, I feel commenting on something that I was woefully uneducated about would have been pretty fucking arrogant of me.

In my opinion (and feel free to disregard it as the ramblings of a misinformed dumbass), echoing what kirbywarp said on the thread of doom, a lot of grief could have been avoided if people hadn’t misrepresented each others’ positions, forcing them on the defensive. I’m not going to be another “both sides do it!” neutrality wanker (there was fault on all sides, but not equal fault, I think), but I thought there was much common ground from which the discussion could have moved to dealing with specific, problematic issues, and on to more fruitful pastures. Instead, the rug kept getting pulled out from under both side’s feet.

On the whole, I agree with katz’s comment on that thread as well. Ultimately it doesn’t matter if we fancy ourselves inclusive. If several members of a given group leave because they feel unwelcome, then it’s not about isolated incidents, it’s about a pattern. That’s not okay.

For what it’s worth, I think David handled this well. There was no way that thread was going to have a happy ending, and shutting it down was the best course of action. Understandably, people are going to be wanting to talk about what happened. I know I am. I think a thread on which such issues can be discussed could be beneficial, if only to keep such unmentioned grievances from building up in the future. It probably needs to be a no-troll, no-flaming thread, though.

For my part, I still love this place, and I am not planning on leaving anytime soon. But I will miss many of the people who left, now and earlier, announced and unannounced. I may not have agreed with all of them on every point, but the place will not be the same without their voices.

Finally, I’m happy to hear that kittehserf is okay. She was one of my favorite commenters here, and I believe I got the Welcome Package from her back in the day. Should she decide not to return, I wish her and Mr. K all the best.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

People have recovered gracefully from worse missteps than kylabg made, and honestly? Looking back at the exchange? I can’t see how anyone could have handled it better. Maybe someone can point out to me how kirbywarp or Dawn Incognito could have been more gentle, because it was only those two, making 3 posts in response to 3 posts by kylabg, that weighed in before kylabg flounced. I don’t see a pile-on prior to the flounce.

gilshalos
9 years ago

I have mental health diagnosis, and on first coming here, I had no idea the word ‘crazy’ would be used as an insult because my personal friend group had reclaimed it. But I had read here before I ever commented, and however strange it seemed to me (OK, not that strange) I took in the message and never used the term here. Because it was irrelevant that irl we used the term more as a compliment, here people had been hurt by it. So I never used it. I don’t see how that decision could be difficult to make.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

To be fair, I only remember two people saying it was a pile-on, and one of those people recanted. It may not be that big of an issue…

That’s the sad thing about memory; you start to lose details of who said what, and one “side” of the argument might start feeling like a true side with many vocal supporters. I’ve noticed the same thing in Threadmageddon, and I’ve done it as well. Maybe one or two people say something, and when others address it they speak as if a whole part of the community said it.

I get why it happens. It’s uncomfortable to call specific people out sometimes, and when regulars start saying something it may feel like the whole community tacitly endorses it. It just makes these sorts of blow-ups worse, because something one person says can suddenly take on the weight of many voices when it really shouldn’t, especially in hindsight.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

That’s true, it can feel as if some commenters have more clout and thus are speaking for the whole group.

We’ve had a few cases where well-intentioned first time posts get misread, and things go south quickly. SkyWard was one recent example (that was the poster who said they’d been lurking for awhile and working up the courage to post but was afraid of getting off on the wrong foot with the group – and then promptly got off on the wrong foot with the group).

I think SkyWard genuinely meant well and wanted to be accepted by the community, but because it was their very first comment, it came across as gratuitous lecturing, rather than one person sharing their perception of WHTM culture in hopes that it might open a dialogue such as this one. People in this space are extra wary of being told to “be nice” and “don’t be mean”, partly because hello, mockery blog, but also because it’s a time-honored way of shutting up uppity women by pushing them back into their prescribed role, which is to caretake the feelings of others at the expense of their own. People come here to get away from that expectation.

Also, of course, WHTM attracts lots of trolls and necros, so the attitude towards newbies tends to be a bit defensive if their intent isn’t clear from the get-go. It’s “troll until proven otherwise”. We’ve had quite a lot of tedious and annoying trolls recently, so it’s made the atmosphere in the threads more tense and edgy than usual.

That said, it did bother me that towards the end, SkyWard was told “you don’t have the social capital to do this”, as though SkyWard’s feelings were automatically invalid because of who was having them. That’s the kind of thing bullies would lord over an unpopular kid. It also has the effect of making bystanders feel unsure about themselves and silencing genuine discussion. People start to question where they fit in the hierarchy here, and whether they have enough “social capital” themselves to speak up when something makes them uncomfortable. That contributes as well to the perception that it’s one person vs. the whole group.

I agree with Anarchonist, it’s healthy to have this sort of discussion once in a while and maybe a dedicated thread would be helpful.

@kirbywarp FWIW, I always get a huge chuckle out of your comments, although most of the time I don’t have anything to contribute other than “Brilliant!” or “LOL!” and wishing there was a like button.

maistrechat
9 years ago

@gilshalos

You’ve basically echoed my exact sentiments in this thread, and every time I think I have something to contribute you end up saying it better than I would have. So thanks. Makes me feel better at least.

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
9 years ago

@PoM: Exactly.

I saw the exchange as

1) person A makes a misstep

2) persons B and C call person A out on the misstep and ask them not to do it

3) person A doubles down and explains how the misstep wasn’t really a misstep misstep because they personally don’t see it that way

4) persons B and C point out that it doesn’t matter how one personally sees the misstep, since it’s still a misstep

5) person A turns on full drama mode about how it’s terrible that they now feel baaaaad and that they will never comment again because they were made to feel baaaaad by the meeeeean people, essentially making it all about themselves and not caring at all that they’re hurting others with their misstep, and

6) people (correctly) assess that person A is behaving very immaturely.

As gilshalos said: Even if you personally see nothing wrong with using certain words, once you learn that using said words might hurt people, why would you insist on using them? Why are words more important to you than people?

A question I’d like to ask several people I know IRL. *Sigh*

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

I have experienced, directly, considerable quantities of bullshit from people once they find out that I have bipolar disorder. Mostly this comes from doctors, who get it instantly from the paperwork I fill out as a new patient. I will never forget, ever, the doctor I saw for an open wound oozing pus, who wanted to talk about my bipolar medication regime and would barely look at the wound. Usually doctors’ dismissal of my concerns as just the inventions of a mentally ill person are more subtle than that.

But it also comes from the public at large. Do you have any idea how often people call other people bipolar in order to denigrate them and discredit them? How often someone accuses another person of some kind of mental illness, in order to remove that person’s credibility? Whenever someone is the target of this, the response is invariably to deny being mentally ill, which continues to convey the message that people who actually are mentally ill can’t be trusted.

“Are you on some kind of psychiatric medication?” “Yes.” “Oh, then clearly I can’t believe anything you say.” This has happened to me, multiple times. It’s not a matter of hurt feelings. You really can’t understand how important it is that other people believe what you tell them until nobody believes you for reasons unrelated to your actual truthfulness. Your legal, economic, social, political, and medical life are built around the idea that you can say things that are true and other people will accept that you are saying true things and act accordingly. When everyone just waves away everything that comes out of your mouth as fantasies and inventions, your life is basically over.

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