Categories
a voice for men feminism gender policing misogyny MRA PUA

The New Statesman's Margaret Corvid on the ways misogyny restricts male sexuality

Policing male sexuxality: a meme from A Voice for Men's Facebook page.
Policing male sexuxality: a meme from A Voice for Men’s Facebook page.

Check out Margaret Corvid’s fascinating piece in the New Statesman on male sexuality and the appeal of misogynistic movements to sexually frustrated men. As a professional dominatrix who’s also a feminist, she’s acutely aware of the ways conventional masculinity restricts and impoverishes male sexuality.

When I became a professional dominatrix after years in the kink scene, I expected my kinky work to involve lots of spanking, whipping and bondage. And, to my delight, it has. But in the majority of my sessions, I am creating a space for men to explore areas of their sexual lives that society feels are unmanly; they come to me to be penetrated, to be used, to serve, to submit, to worship, to be taken. A client might have any or all of a bewildering array of fetishes, but they mostly come to me to experience something well outside the very narrow confines of what society says that it means to be a man.

Unfortunately, as she notes, Men’s Rightsers and Pickup Artists offer nothing to men who feel confined by these narrow notions of manhood; indeed, their definitions of manhood are both retrograde and restrictive.

One of the greatest tragedies of the men’s rights movement is that, in the end, its lessons serve only to drive men further away from what they yearn for. Pick up artist techniques and aggrieved entitlement are unlikely to help men achieve the goal of intimacy, but feminist values can teach them the skills to communicate with respect.

You’ll notice a few quotes in there from me, from an email interview she did with me as well as from my post Is the Men’s Rights Movement driven by the rage of the rejected? (I also discussed the issue in this post on the weird sexual undercurrents in A Voice for Men’s Facebook “memes.”)

 

 

865 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
contrapangloss
9 years ago

Also, it’s almost 11 here, so I’d best to bed. Trying to be better about this sleep schedule thing, especially since Saturdays are now too busy.

Night all!

Enjoy reminiscing about Pellet et al, while I catch ZZZZZs.

:p

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Fisto was a character on He-man? Is that so?

*drums fingers together*

I have no jokes for this situation. None at al. Nope. None.

*continues drumming fingers*

Nnnnope.

None.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
9 years ago
Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

kirbywarp

have no jokes for this situation. None at al. Nope. None.

Are you sure?
http://i.imgur.com/k3Bijn6.jpg
Fisto thinks maybe you do.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

Anyone need some cheering up? Here is a kitten in a sweater.

http://schmorgyborgy.tumblr.com/post/43128129878/i-put-my-cat-in-a-sweater

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

*whimpers*

What a bear of a man.

BEAST! BEAST OF A MAN!

I mean, that beast could be a bear. Obviously, I mean why not? It could be a tiger, or a lion, or a bear, or a T-Rex, or a turtle… Well, I guess it couldn’t be a turtle, I mean what sort of beast would a turtle make? Not much of one, I say, oh no, not a turtle. But a bear, yes, it could be a bear. Or it could not be a bear, you know, if you don’t want it to be, any beast will do really, but I mean it could be a bear. Bears are beasts right? They are right? Yeah, that’s right. Ah ha ha ha ha. ha. Wow.

That fist has a safe word, right?

kittehserf - MOD
9 years ago

Niters contrapangloss!

Tessa, Pell was around for quite a while, a couple of years ago now. I don’t know if I could find any threads he featured in, but katz did the wonderful Biography of Christopher Pell in the now-defunct forums. Enjoy!

http://manboobz.forummotion.com/t852-a-biography-of-christopher-pell?highlight=pell

kittehserf - MOD
9 years ago

That kitten! That kitten in a sweater!

I AM DED OF CUTE

Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

Thanks, I’ll read that, but I meant the bra in the laundry sock puppet. This one’s interesting too, though.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

I don’t think anyone can remember all the names of that dude’s socks, you’d need to set up a database.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

It’d be nice if there were a “dungeon” like pharyngula had, where you put the names of banned trolls and why they were banned. You could track sock puppets there and link to the comment thread where they were from. It’d make archeological sessions like these much easier.

Kim
Kim
9 years ago

I don’t know. I think I prefer cats in wigs to kittens in jumpers.

http://travelingthedistance.tumblr.com/post/91154805153/so-my-brother-just-came-into-my-room-to-use-my

I also prefer cats to kittens in general. Am I the only one?

Kim
Kim
9 years ago

Oh, and looking at the pic of the guy in the hoodie that shows his nipples… he’s also wearing board shorts, and it could well be neoprene. So maybe it’s a hood to be worn under a wetsuit. I mean, normally hoods don’t go have armholes ,and they are snug under the chin, but maybe someone was annoyed at their hood riding up all the time and this is their big invention.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

I like all cats. regardless of age.

kittehserf - MOD
9 years ago

Cats or kittens, love them all. Sadly I couldn’t manage having a kitten in the house as things are now. However we do have at least one cat who refuses to grow up! 🙂

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

Blessed be the banhammer, for it brings happiness all across the land.

ParadoxicalIntention
ParadoxicalIntention
9 years ago

Kirbywarp

25 last November!

I don’t even know what ages people are. I guess I do the same thing where I imagine everyone’s about 5-10 years older than me.

You’re actually a few months older than me! I turn 25 in May! : 3 (My birthday is the same as Katniss Everdeen’s.)

On the topic of Fisto, the only thing that that name brings to mind for me is a quest in Fallout: New Vegas. I’ll leave out the details.

katz
9 years ago

Oh thank God. I have no idea what he was up to either.

See, this is why we pine for the great trolls of yore. Today they just show up and are pissy. But back in the day they’d post a photo of Montgomery Clift claiming it was a photo of them, and when called on it, claim that he was their uncle. Or insist that Spanish and Russian use the same alphabet, even when presented with an example of Cyrillic. Or talk about putting perfume on dolls and pretending that they’re women.

They just don’t do that stuff anymore.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago
pallygirl
pallygirl
9 years ago

Ah, she did that Twitter troll. She is really clever and witty. /goes away to find her on Tumblr

kittehserf - MOD
9 years ago

Praise be the great and merciful banhammer!

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/087/474/3b4.jpg

gilshalos
9 years ago

*sigh* I also do the thing assuming people are older than me.
And then I find most of you are half my age. :/

kittehserf - MOD
9 years ago

I tend to assume people here are younger than me, except those whose ages I know already.

gilshalos
9 years ago

Well, I know you and I are about the same age, Kitteh

1 18 19 20 21 22 35