The first stage of grief, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross famously postulated, is denial.
So it’s hardly surprising that Paul Elam and his gang of flunkies and fans at A Voice for Men have responded to the news that my site is besting AVFM in traffic by trying to claim that my traffic is somehow … fake.
Elam’s “evidence” for this assertion? He poked around my site for a few minutes and couldn’t find any posts that felt really “viral” to him.
He explained his, er, logic in a post yesterday. (You’ll have to excuse his terrible prose; he’s apparently running out of ways to call me fat.)
The gynecomastia plagued mammoth hunter’s sudden, meteoric rise into alleged relevance can only be explained by one thing. There must have been a stratospherically viral article (usually meaning more than two paragraphs) penned by the Wizard of Wallow that must have been picked up by every major media outlet in the mainstream.
Trouble is, we could not find it. A complete search of his website for something that coincided with his liftoff into the upper echelons of Alexa rankings, only turned up more of his usual fare. Quote mining, distortions, lies, poorly written snark and hundreds of comments, most of which have nothing to do with the OP and everything to do with kittens.
I’m not sure how one is supposed to be able to tell how much traffic a post has generated just by looking at it; it’s a bit like trying to tell how fast a car can go by looking at it parked.
But using some methodology of his own, apparently based not so much on what is true as on what he desperately wants to be true, he concludes that I bought the traffic using some of that sweet sweet cash I apparently get from the Femilluminati overladies.
So, that leaves us with only one other conclusion about David’s strut-worthy presence on Alexa. He paid for it. Yes, for those who cannot create real traffic, it can be purchased. Of course, purchasing a fake Alexa ranking is, well, fake. But what better tool for web presence could there ever be for a fake writer, with fake ideas waging a fake war against fake enemies for the approval of fake allies?
Also, I’m a big fan of fried chicken. (How did he know?)
A fake Alexa ranking fits on David Futrelle like a day old bucket of fried chicken fits in his lap . And it will probably last about as long given it requires regular financial maintenance.
Elam’s preoccupation with Alexa is a little weird. I didn’t even mention Alexa in my post comparing my traffic to his. Alexa’s numbers for my site and his are based on estimates — extimates that I’m pretty sure are something less-than-reliable, at least when it comes to my site.
No, the reason I know that I’m getting more traffic than A Voice for Men – or at least that I was getting more when I wrote my post on the subject – has nothing to do with Alexa rankings. It’s because Elam posted a screenshot of his actual traffic stats. Which I was able to compare to the traffic stats I get directly from WordPress. (You can see my screenshot and his in my post om the subject.)
The closest thing to “evidence” Elam has to back up his false accusation that my traffic is “fake” is based on something called Google PageRank, a zero-to-ten ranking that provides at least a rough representation of a site’s importance in the internet world. (Zero is totally obscure; ten means you’re as popular as Google.) Unfortunately, Elam’s internet research skills leave something to be desired, and his “evidence” isn’t actually evidence of anything real.
Elam reports that when he typed his site’s url into a site that tracks PageRank it got a rating of 5. He typed WeHuntedTheMammoth.com into the same page and it gets a PageRank of … zero.
Which would be pretty damning, except that it’s meaningless.
You see, the real URL for this blog is manboobz.wordpress.com; that’s the URL that WeHuntedTheMammoth.com redirects you to. And if you type manboobz.wordpress.com into that same PageRank site that Elam used, you’ll see that my site has a Google PageRank of … 4, pretty close to that of AVFM.
Seriously, Paul, try it yourself if you don’t believe me.
So, no, Paul, I didn’t buy traffic or whatever it is you think I did to get “fake” traffic for my “fake” writing.
You want to know the real secret behind the increased traffic to my site? Well. I don’t know if you realized it, Paul, but last year was kind of a breakout year for online misogyny. You remember that whole GamerGate thing? I wrote a lot about that, including a number of posts that collected together a lot of information that other people found useful.
If you look at my most-read posts from the past year – here, here and here – you can see that a lot of people did in fact find them useful: each one was shared on Twitter and Facebook literally thousands of times, as you can see by scrolling down to the bottom of each post. (Or did I fake those too?)
Also, I started writing more than one post a day. All else being equal, more posts means more traffic.
The flipside is that all this misogyny and all this writing kind of burned me out, and I’ve been taking a bit of a breather for the last few weeks, writing fewer posts and taking some days off. So my traffic has slowed a bit. Heck, my traffic may have dropped back down to AVFM levels.
But I’m not worried, Paul. As long as terrible and ridiculous people like you keep saying and doing terrible, ridiculous things, I’m not going to run out of things to write about. And as long as people are interested in hearing about people like you, it seems likely that I’ll continue to get enough traffic to reduce you to tooth-grinding rage.
I can only hope you’re able to work y0ur way through the other stages of grief until you finally reach acceptance. Because right now your desperation is so obvious it can probably be seen from space. It’s not a good look for you.
@Cassie’s Major Domo: Yes, that, and taking joy in doing stuff that harms themselves just to spite people.
Yeah, I wonder how they are going to explain away their future lung cancer problems.
Oh wait, Obama’s fault. That was obvious.
Money is a One-World-Government conspiracy. Unless the Koch brothers make the money.
On an earlier topic: I first heard of the site a while ago, and I lurked here and there. I started checking it daily after I noticed David was writing about #GamerGate, something that’s actually very important to me because I’m a feminist gamer, and seeing Gators getting called out for their shit makes me quite happy, thank you much.
I stuck around after because the regulars are awesome people who sometimes have awesome discussions, and the trolls are sometimes entertaining.
Also because I’m a cat person.
As for the Prius conversation: Ugh. People who deliberately go out of their way to wreck the environment more are the reason why I take public transportation (that, and driving gives me panic attacks, though I imagine those guys are the asshole drivers who cause them in the first place).
Or, as I prefer to call them, bad drivers and Hardcore Stoopid. Honestly, if anyone’s cruisin’ for a bruisin’, it’s them. Hope they have some cash left over from their expensive car-wrecking hobby, they’re gonna need it for bottled oxygen. Assuming anyone will sell it to a (barely) walking Darwin Award…
Also, I like dogs fine, but my heart belongs to cats. Because cats PURR, and there just is no finer thing than that, far’s I’m concerned.
It’s astonishing the powerful psychological affect that purring has on humans.
Of course, the cats knew this long before the hoooomans got smart enough to understand what it was.
Stoopid hooomans and their smoke belching wheel-thingies.
Darrow is sitting by me purring right now. I wonder what he wants. I just fed him.
My wife is allergic and the previous owner of the place let her male spray in the basement, not a good recipe for house cats. We have six barn cats though. I can’t figure out how to post a picture though or I’d share.
We also have three pigs, ten chickens, two bunnies and four dogs. There’s even a red fox that comes down the driveway every night.
Unfortunately we have a coyote problem in the area. I had to shoot one already, it had a torn up ear and likely an infection. They don’t usually let you shoot them. 🙁
So anyways, how do you post pics?
I love dogs – they’re good people – but having a dog is like having a young child that has to poop outside and that you can leave alone for small stretches.
A cat is much more like an amiable (or not – depends on the cat, I guess) roommate who’s fastidious about their own personal hygiene but awful about cleaning up.
So, cats for now.
I agree, and maybe…. maybe they accuse David of buying his traffic because they feel he’s been stealing their readers.
The ones who are disgusted by their hate and appreciate David’s work.
David: good work.
Shut up, Woody.
@dudeinthewoods
Just upload it somewhere (Imgur’s a good, fast one) and post the URL without any HTML tags, it formats itself. =)
Posting pics: upload the image to an image site (imagur, flickr, photobucket, etc), then copy the direct link (url that ends in a .jpg (no quotation marks or parentheses)), and paste that url in the comment. It’s a bit roundabout, but that’s how I do it.
http://i.imgur.com/Bu6F3OF.jpg
Aw, Woody. Does he even come around anymore? I live in read-only/lurk-mode now mostly, so I am out of the loop.
And as for men and cats:
http://imgur.com/xDuuWui
(Face blurred for privacy.)
Dudeinthewoods – If you can afford to keep some more animals, my stepbrother has had good luck with llamas. Apparently, llama look at other barnyard dwellers as part of their pack and will defend them against coyotes. He raises Pygmy goats and dairy goats (among other animals) and was losing a lot of them to coyotes. The animal control officer recommended the llamas. He now has 4 llamas and hasn’t lost any goats in over a year.
I’m pro most animals, except for chickens. Chickens are beady eyed little villains.
dudeinthewoods, you need to post the picture somewhere, like Imgur or flickr or the like and then link to it here.
One of my afk ‘friends’ (actually more a childhood friend of Housemate) had one of those Prius repellant thingies installed on his truck and now his single favorite topic of conversation is how expensive it is to fill the damn thing. o.O
Testing…
http://2vga1o5mew51s6gu7x0mnk7kf.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/main/2013_06/Kitten-with-Crazy-Fluffy-Hair.jpg
Yay! It worked! Thanks, Puddlegum, for explaining how to post pictures!
CATPOSTIN’.
http://nequam.xepher.net/images/levi/messyroom.jpg
And hey, I just found some really old ones of Levi as a kitten, so have some bonuses.
http://nequam.xepher.net/images/levi/omnomnom.jpg
http://nequam.xepher.net/images/levi/thoughtful.jpg
@kestrel
Llamas were already on the “to buy” list, my wife loves them. But yeah I’ve been eyeing them up as a substitute for a livestock guardian dog. I’m hoping in the spring but that depends whether I can get the fencing fixed in time.
Ten years worth of neglect has really taken its toll on the farms infrastructure.
Anywho, to photobucket!
isidore13:
Seconded!
Cassie’s Major Domo:
Oooh, yes. ::evil laugh::
Welcome back, btw!
And this:
My thoughts exactly! He NEEDS TO DO THIS.
Oh, Pauly, if you’re lurking again:
http://cs608825.vk.me/v608825119/3a96/bRtjH4lc4PY.jpg
Men and cats: last night Maddie was on her usual ignoring-television spot on top of her scratching post, but instead of having her back to the telly she had her back to where Mr K and I were sitting.
He blew a raspberry at her. Later we were laughing about this and I asked if she now knows he’s around – he said yes, but she doesn’t approve.
Never mind yer “cat may look at a king” stuff, this is cat may turn her back on a king to express Feline Disapproval! 😀
Spot, Berkshire sow and resident escapee pig.
http://imgur.com/GFQkN8q
It’s a test.
I’m imagining a coyote tracking down some goat scent, and suddenly being confronted by an enraged bull llama. “Wait,” thinks the coyote, “isn’t it supposed to be in South Amer-OWww!”
Wow, so I’m not the only Lovecraft fan here? I do agree that his ailurophilia is one of his most admirable qualities. Cassie’sMajorDomo – good Ulthar reference. The Moon Cats from “Dream-Quest” are cool cats, too.
She looks like she’s up to something…
Kitteh, how did you get that torty to flip off the camera?