The first stage of grief, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross famously postulated, is denial.
So it’s hardly surprising that Paul Elam and his gang of flunkies and fans at A Voice for Men have responded to the news that my site is besting AVFM in traffic by trying to claim that my traffic is somehow … fake.
Elam’s “evidence” for this assertion? He poked around my site for a few minutes and couldn’t find any posts that felt really “viral” to him.
He explained his, er, logic in a post yesterday. (You’ll have to excuse his terrible prose; he’s apparently running out of ways to call me fat.)
The gynecomastia plagued mammoth hunter’s sudden, meteoric rise into alleged relevance can only be explained by one thing. There must have been a stratospherically viral article (usually meaning more than two paragraphs) penned by the Wizard of Wallow that must have been picked up by every major media outlet in the mainstream.
Trouble is, we could not find it. A complete search of his website for something that coincided with his liftoff into the upper echelons of Alexa rankings, only turned up more of his usual fare. Quote mining, distortions, lies, poorly written snark and hundreds of comments, most of which have nothing to do with the OP and everything to do with kittens.
I’m not sure how one is supposed to be able to tell how much traffic a post has generated just by looking at it; it’s a bit like trying to tell how fast a car can go by looking at it parked.
But using some methodology of his own, apparently based not so much on what is true as on what he desperately wants to be true, he concludes that I bought the traffic using some of that sweet sweet cash I apparently get from the Femilluminati overladies.
So, that leaves us with only one other conclusion about David’s strut-worthy presence on Alexa. He paid for it. Yes, for those who cannot create real traffic, it can be purchased. Of course, purchasing a fake Alexa ranking is, well, fake. But what better tool for web presence could there ever be for a fake writer, with fake ideas waging a fake war against fake enemies for the approval of fake allies?
Also, I’m a big fan of fried chicken. (How did he know?)
A fake Alexa ranking fits on David Futrelle like a day old bucket of fried chicken fits in his lap . And it will probably last about as long given it requires regular financial maintenance.
Elam’s preoccupation with Alexa is a little weird. I didn’t even mention Alexa in my post comparing my traffic to his. Alexa’s numbers for my site and his are based on estimates — extimates that I’m pretty sure are something less-than-reliable, at least when it comes to my site.
No, the reason I know that I’m getting more traffic than A Voice for Men – or at least that I was getting more when I wrote my post on the subject – has nothing to do with Alexa rankings. It’s because Elam posted a screenshot of his actual traffic stats. Which I was able to compare to the traffic stats I get directly from WordPress. (You can see my screenshot and his in my post om the subject.)
The closest thing to “evidence” Elam has to back up his false accusation that my traffic is “fake” is based on something called Google PageRank, a zero-to-ten ranking that provides at least a rough representation of a site’s importance in the internet world. (Zero is totally obscure; ten means you’re as popular as Google.) Unfortunately, Elam’s internet research skills leave something to be desired, and his “evidence” isn’t actually evidence of anything real.
Elam reports that when he typed his site’s url into a site that tracks PageRank it got a rating of 5. He typed WeHuntedTheMammoth.com into the same page and it gets a PageRank of … zero.
Which would be pretty damning, except that it’s meaningless.
You see, the real URL for this blog is manboobz.wordpress.com; that’s the URL that WeHuntedTheMammoth.com redirects you to. And if you type manboobz.wordpress.com into that same PageRank site that Elam used, you’ll see that my site has a Google PageRank of … 4, pretty close to that of AVFM.
Seriously, Paul, try it yourself if you don’t believe me.
So, no, Paul, I didn’t buy traffic or whatever it is you think I did to get “fake” traffic for my “fake” writing.
You want to know the real secret behind the increased traffic to my site? Well. I don’t know if you realized it, Paul, but last year was kind of a breakout year for online misogyny. You remember that whole GamerGate thing? I wrote a lot about that, including a number of posts that collected together a lot of information that other people found useful.
If you look at my most-read posts from the past year – here, here and here – you can see that a lot of people did in fact find them useful: each one was shared on Twitter and Facebook literally thousands of times, as you can see by scrolling down to the bottom of each post. (Or did I fake those too?)
Also, I started writing more than one post a day. All else being equal, more posts means more traffic.
The flipside is that all this misogyny and all this writing kind of burned me out, and I’ve been taking a bit of a breather for the last few weeks, writing fewer posts and taking some days off. So my traffic has slowed a bit. Heck, my traffic may have dropped back down to AVFM levels.
But I’m not worried, Paul. As long as terrible and ridiculous people like you keep saying and doing terrible, ridiculous things, I’m not going to run out of things to write about. And as long as people are interested in hearing about people like you, it seems likely that I’ll continue to get enough traffic to reduce you to tooth-grinding rage.
I can only hope you’re able to work y0ur way through the other stages of grief until you finally reach acceptance. Because right now your desperation is so obvious it can probably be seen from space. It’s not a good look for you.
I myself am completely imaginary.
Shut up, Woody.
David, quick typo – the second and third links for ‘most-read posts from the past year’ are the same.
I’ve always known I was a figment of my own imagination.
@kirbywarp
Or is this all my imagination run wild?…
…on second thought, no. I’d never dream up someone like Paul Elam. That’s just awful.
Imaginary, or virtual reality constructs?
There is no spoon.
Shut up, Woody.
Oh, and Hi, Paulie! *waves* Thanks for lurking!!
I know one really good why David’s site gets more page views: being worth linking. AVFM and the MRAs have spread a very dishonest portrayal of domestic violence and rape. I have seen WHTM linked plenty of times when DV and rape parity are mentioned.
Similar with writings about ZQ and the history of GG. This blog has the single best answer to these claims that I know of and everyone knows about it. While it might not go as viral as “Bash a violent [redacted] month”, Futrelle’s traffic needn’t be viral because it’ actually worth reading, linking, and sourcing outside of our respective circles as opposed to being controversially vile. It is also actually fun to read as opposed to rage inducing.
Paul Elam doesn’t get linked by the outside world unless it’s to mock his hate-driven rhetoric. Nothing he says, or his staff says, is worth reading unless you just want a reason to hate women.
No, no – Paul’s right.
We are all just a bunch of Feminazis (here’s us:
http://thejamminjabber.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/girl_hitler_hail.png
Ignore the Ünterland insignia – that’s actually an abstract representation of ladybits)
posting about cats.
These are our cats:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/07/29/article-2020143-0D35A37F00000578-730_468x481.jpg
Or…wait…are there like 5 people and then a bunch of fem-puppets?
Felix, thanks, I fixed it.
That 38% of traffic from Brazil stat is a perfect example of why I DIDN’T use Alexa stats in my original post; they’re not all that accurate. Looking at my actual traffic by country over the past year (well, for 2014), Brazil is actually the #16 source of traffic, not #2. The actual ranking is US, UK, Canada, Australia, Germany Sweden New Zealand ….and so on. Brazil comes in just after Japan.
It does give me hope that some of the “Hey, MRAs! Read This!” articles to which I’ve linked have been read.
I still hold out hope that a healthy portion of these guys just need some time and accrued knowledge to pop their heads out of their arses.
I also enjoyed Dean Esmay’s response:
Yup, just buying traffic from other places with Mammoth Bucks or whatever. Pretty sure it works that way. It’s not like you’re just unpopular, Dean. Not at all.
Also, can I buy some traffic, too?
Paul’s comments about fried chicken and “regular financial maintenance” (he might as well have said “David is fat and poor, Hahahaha!”) super telling of his actual philosophy.
A Voice for White, Affluent, Traditionally Good Looking Men.
His idea of buying stats is hilarious. How long do you think it will be before he has another $20,000 fund-raiser to try and buy some views?
As is so often the case when I read something written by Paulie, I’m struck by how insecure he sounds. In the manosphere, isn’t that a very non-alpha trait, and therefore to be despised?
I particularly enjoy that Elam seems to actually be bothered by the presence of cat pictures in the comment threads.
@Miss Andry:
I love how he’s casually explaining tricks and tips of fake traffic management that don’t actually exist. Literally he’s giving advice that he couldn’t possibly have any evidence for or experience with for why it isn’t worth going the paid traffic route. It’s incredible.
@kirbywarp
Agreed. Besides, little does he know our secret to web traffic actually requires secret incantations and cat pictures. I won’t reveal any more in case he reads this.
I know that I ended up here after MSNBC did a piece on Confused Cats Against Feminism. I followed the link from there and found all of David’s great writing and sarcasm. I check in here everyday now.
Thank you for these sites David. Please take care of yourself. I hear that kitty snuggles are a great cure for burn out.
Imma double-down some, too.
The idea of buying stats alone speaks so much to privilege all on its own.
Paul couldn’t dream that maybe it’s the fault of, I don’t know…his toxic ideas, or desperate need for a good editor, or his habit of hunting after and abusing anyone who is critical of him, or his inability to take any responcibility for or criticism of his actions. It couldn’t be that he and his site are just not that relevant, or that he has kind of maxed out and milked dry all the idiots who would buy what he is selling already. It couldn’t be him.
Nope, it’s money. Naturally.
@Miss Andry:
I’m a rebel, so I’ll reveal it. Elam will be too chicken to go through with it anyway.
At midnight, on the night of a full moon, stand in front of your bathroom mirror with no lights save for a single lit scented-fucking-candle. Stare at your reflection; if it starts to change, the time is right. Take out a single picture of a cat, with the name of the website you wish to get fake traffic for written on the back, fold in it half, and whisper the name “Bootsy.” Fold it in half again, and repeat the name “Bootsy.” One more fold and one more whisper, and cast the picture into the sink. The spirit of Alexa will appear in the mirror.
You must be swift with this next step, for if the eys of Alexa meet yours, you will be cast into chaos. Paste another picture of a cat to the mirror where Alexa’s face is. Continue putting cat pictures onto the mirror, one for every thousand page views you wish to obtain. If any of the pictures change, such as growing long fangs or glowing red eyes, you must cover them with more cat pictures or risk being possessed by a cat spirit.
When all the cat pictures have been glued to the mirror, chant Bootsy’s name one more time and turn on the lights. The cat pictures and Alexa will be gone, and your blog will have gained the appropriate views
The irrational cat-hatred from misogynists brings me no end of delight. (My cat loves it too.) I can always use someone’s attitude toward cats as a nice barometer of whether I want them in my life.
There was once someone at my work place, who, at his “welcome” party was asked if he had a cat or a dog. He said he liked dogs but felt that (exact quote) “cats are kickable.”
He was gone less than three months later. Hopefully somewhere where there aren’t any cats.
What kind of person could possibly think that’d be an ok thing to say?
kirbywarp, that’s too much effort for me. I’m a busy bunch of cats here in this Gillian suit, and I’m way behind on my bonbon eating. I just set up a regular donation of Catcoin to a variety of kittencams who put all their rescues to work in front of laptops, clicking on links to drive up WHTM traffic.
Also, it turns out that since the intarwebs is actually managed by cats, you can also donate Catcoin to the central Feluminati hub and they will close down all the tubes leading to AVfM pages, thereby driving down their traffic automatically!
I once saw a truck with a bumper sticker that said “Pave the Bay” (a play on “Save the [Chesapeake] Bay”.
I’m betting he was a cat-kicker, too.
Other awful, recently seem (presumed) cat-kickers that I’ve seen I my area:
– A large SUV with a number sticker that read “My Carbon Footprint is Bigger than Yours”.
– A luxury SUV with a customized license plate “RICHB4U”
In*
Bumper*