There’s a post on the AgainstMensRights subreddit today highlighting a comment from a Men’s Rights Redditor that offers some, well, interesting theories about why feminists are “obsessed” with rape and abortion, even though he thinks they are very ugly.
Actually, in his mind, it’s because they are very ugly, and secretly wish someone would be attracted enough to them to rape them.
I’m sure there are MRAs out there who would like to dismiss his posting as the ravings of a random Redditor. Sadly, it’s not. Despite the terribleness of his “explanation,” or perhaps because of it, it seems to be a common one amongst Manosphereians and Men’s Rightsers.
Indeed, in one notorious post a couple of years ago, A Voice for Men founder and all-around garbage human Paul Elam — probably the most important person in the Men’s Rights movement today — offered a much cruder version of this argument. [TRIGGER WARNING for some primo rape apologism. I have bolded the worst bits, and archived the post here in case Elam decides to take it down, as he has been doing with some of his more repellant posts].
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Isn’t it more than just a little fascinating that underneath all this hoopla about rape is a whole lot of women who, when thinking about some guy pinning them down in a kitchen and forcing a hand up their blouse, generally tend to do so with their own hand or a vibrator between their legs? …
And isn’t it also interesting that the most rape obsessive morons on the planet also happen to be some of the ugliest morons on the planet?
Consider this. If rape awareness was a religion, Andrea Dworkin was The Fucking Pope. The 300+ lb. basilisk of man-hate had a face big enough and pockmarked enough to be used to fake a lunar landing. Her body was roughly the size and shape of a small sperm whale.
And she thought of little else in her life other than rape. The subject drove almost everything she said and did.
She even claimed to have been drugged and raped in 1999 in Paris, an accusation that was never proven and which came under a great deal of scrutiny, apparently for damned good reason.
C’mon people, Dworkin’s problem wasn’t that she was raped. Her problem, and I mean all along, was that she wasn’t.
Oh, it gets worse:
Like a corrupt televangelist who only shuts up about sexual purity and morality long enough to secure the services of a five dollar hooker, Dworkin was the poster child for “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”
Or, in other words, she was obsessed with rape, quite possibly even creating the illusion it happened to her, precisely because her worth on the sexual market was measured in pesos.
Dworkin wanted to be raped, which in her mind meant being sexually desired, but didn’t have the goods to make that happen so she made a career of hating both the source of her rejection, men, and the source of her competition, attractive women.
In the end, the most narcissistic of all Men’s Rightsers concludes that rape is all about female narcissism:
The concept of rape has a lot of utility for women. One, it feeds their narcissistic need to feel irresistible. Two, if feeds their narcissistic need to feel irresistible. That level of irresistibility is the pinnacle of a woman’s sexual viability and worth. And for a whole lot of women, sexual worth is the only self-worth they know.
A Voice for Men’s domestic violence mascot Erin Pizzey seconded Elam’s argument during an appearance of hers last year on Reddit.
If you’re referring to Paul’s statement that many or most women fantasize about being taken, I’m sorry but that’s the truth. That doesn’t mean they want to be raped, but it’s a fantasy I think almost all women have. And I think he went on to say that feminists like Andrea Dworkin who were and are so obsessed with rape are really projecting their own unconscious sexual frustration because men don’t give them enough attention. Andrea was a very sad lonely woman like this
This is an “insight” that many other manosphereians keep reinventing and announcing to the world. In a 2013 post, for example, the “Red Pill” blogger and sometime Return of Kings contributor who calls himself TheMaskAndRose offered a very similar take on the subject.
Feminists are ugly women. They are fat, old, masculine, aggressive, hateful, sociopathic, unattractive, or any combination of those things. Attractive women tend not to be Feminists, so I encourage you to think about why that’s the case. So keeping in mind that they’re not the type of women who normal men desire or pay any attention to, here’s my theory:
Rape culture is the ugly woman’s rape fantasy. …
I think the true heart of a rape fantasy is narcissism.
I think it’s about the idea of saying NO to a man, over and over, but he throws caution to the wind and gives into the animal instinct to just overtake you–because you’re so attractive, so beautiful, so alluring, so irresistible that he just can’t help himself.
It’s about being wanted, more than anything else. Wanted so badly that a man would risk throwing his whole life away just for the chance to put his penis in you.
So, since Feminists and unattractive women generally don’t have men paying any attention to them at all–at least not the sexual kind of attention they crave but won’t admit to … they instead cast themselves in the role of heroine in a cultural narrative whereby men think they’re just so fucking deliciously hot that they can’t wait for the chance to rape them.
They project that insanity onto the world around them, and voila–“rape culture.” A world full of scary men so overtaken with lust and desire for these fat, ugly, manly cow-beasts that you never know when one of them is going to risk his career, family, money, and life outside of prison just to have sex with you.
There is, of course, a much simpler explanation for why feminists tend to be “obsessed” with rape: because it happens all the fucking time.
I would love to see the more modern “social media Fantasy AU” done in comic form, really. I think that might be a good way to easily get across all the actions that might be too boring to describe maybe?
Possibly.
Maybe if the comic focused on the “social” aspect–maybe showed all the people who were picking up on the story, and not just the character who was sending it out into the world?
I’m just thinking that the strength of comics in that is that you can pack a lot of punch into a drawing–get a load of different people’s reactions. Because to me, the interesting thing isn’t the internet itself, but how people respond.
Wordsp1nner – yes, Gibson had a clever idea for the character to perceive hirself as being *inside* cyberspace. Much more interesting narrative than ‘character sits at keyboard for hours ‘. It still surprises me to realize that his earliest cyberpunk stories were written so early that he was asked to define cyberspace. It is, he explained where you are when you are ‘on the phone’.
Grumpy re: zero sum power game (my phone’s not c/ping on this page right now for some reason): Exactly. I think that’s something that underlies and ties together those movements.
They just can’t/won’t get past adversarial power dynamics as *the* defining feature of relationships (definitely romantic, but I’d venture to say *any* relationship given much of their rhetoric – esp “alpha”, etc).
It’s kind of sad, really, when you think about how they seem to be missing out on the genuine love and warmth that can come from cooperative, companionate interactions and relationships. To see everything as a competition, a test of wills, a FIGHT on some level or another…
…eff that.
Imma now going to take my sore-from-haunting-and-cutting-wood arse and put on some warm, oversized flannel pants and a comfy tee (with my hair – gasp – in a bun), make some popcorn, and cuddle with my (-doublegasp-feminist) husband and our gaggle of little girls to watch The Boxtrolls.
Bitter MRAs – really – it’s so much nicer to just *not* be prats about life.
*hauling*
Is there no way to allow editing with a clickable “previous versions” thing on WP?
ParadoxicalIintention:
‘Fraid not! I was responding to your comment about paranormal romance in general, given Mr K’s and my situation.He crossed over a long, long time ago. 🙂
@Proxieme: well, I didn’t think it was possible to harvest trees by scaring them into dropping down dead,
Obviously, anyone who thinks intimate relationships are a zero-sum game is in for a sad and lonely life — and damaging to anyone who tries to love them. But equally obviously there are such people, and what always bothers me is how do people come to think that way? Why would anyone think that was the road to happiness (assuming that most people would like to be happy)? The best I can come up with is that insecurity leads to a desire for control, which leads to a lot of self-inflicted (but shared with those who are close to you ) unhappiness.
Calling Dr Phil! One thing he likes to put to people who are feuding with neighbours, unhappy with family, all those other unsuccessful, antagonistic relationship scenarios …
Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy?
Once you’re in a place or a mood where those become choices, you really do have to make your choice.
He calls them “Right Fighters”.
That seems like as good an explanation as any.
The Boxtrolls was super cute with an overall theme of self determination and setting aside outward signs of success and prestige if they’re not actually important or useful to you.
kittehserf
Oh. My apologies. And I’m sorry for your loss. I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories, and I’m sorry if I did.
Still, the books are good, and I do recommend them. They’re marketed as “Young Adult” novels, but that’s never mattered to me much.
Oh, I can also recommend Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. The second book came out about a year ago, so I’m not expecting the third anytime soon (though the ending of the second book made me shout “HARRY FUCKIN’ POTTER” at the top of my lungs. I’ll leave the details out as to why).
The series itself is kind of paranormal romance, but that’s not what you’re there for. There’s a few issues I have with it, but all in all, it’s a damn good series.
@mildlymagnificent:
I’m not a fan of Dr. Phil’s. He tends to be very much a slut-shamer.
@ ParadoxicalIntention – That bit about urban magic stuff reminded me of Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett – at least the bit about the demon, Crowley, modernising his approach towards corrupting souls by arranging the spaghetti junction into “the sigil *odegra* in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu”… Come to think of it, both authors are pretty good for that sort of combining the fantastic and the mundane in all their works.
Perhaps it’s not quite the same thing that you were thinking of, though.
No need for apologies, ParadoxicalIntention! I need to fill in some background – Mr K (known outside WHTM as Louis XIII) passed over in 1643. We’ve been together, as in having contact, for, oh, eight years or so? I fell for him in 1981, and he’d known about me since before I was even born. So it’s no loss, it’s all gain. 🙂
I read Miss Peregrine’s Home! Loved it! I’ve been keeping an eye out for the second one in local bookstores, but no luck, yet. If there’s a third, I won’t get too excited about buying the second just yet (I hate when I have to wait too long between volumes and often have to re-read the series so I don’t muddle things).
Paradoxicalintention
No worries. I’ve hardly ever seen him. I just saw that one fortuitous day and it struck me as a handy way to frame the resolution of some intractable disputes.
He’s a bit of a pain in most ways. Come to think of it, that little aphorism is the only thing I remember from the few times I saw the show.
I hate waiting for books. I didn’t start reading ASOIAF until 2011 and am getting very impatient for the next book. I can’t even imagine how the fans who’ve been reading since the beginning feel. I’m actually glad that Game of Thrones will spoil the ending so I don’t have to wait another decade.
Since we are blindingly off-topic, the assholes at Alliance Defending Freedom (AKA Let Christian Fundamentalists Do Whatever the Fuck They Want) bought an ad on my twitter feed:
https://twitter.com/AllianceDefends/status/553938342505881601
Again, this is a case where a Christian couple is oppressed by being forced–forced!–to comply with the same rules as everybody else.
I told them that if they lost this case, maybe Christians would lose the right to run abusive homes for children. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/leavingfundamentalism/2014/01/27/a-handy-guide-to-tough-love-teen-reform-homes/
I think they may regret this.
LOL! I’ve had a few IRL friends tell me I should read ASOIAF, but I just can’t bring myself to commit to a new, major fantasy series right now. ::glances around:: I’ve been reading the Dresden Files (don’t judge me), see, and I’m waiting for my local bookstore to get the most recent one in paperback…
Living in a small Eastern Washington town sans car during college was what really sold me on ebooks. Before that, I was skeptical. But now I’m addicted to getting new releases at midnight and having access to even the earliest of a series (I was just sick of trying to find #1, published 10 years ago).
The price (books are ridiculously expensive here) and my total lack of shelf space has won me over to ebooks. It’s also so easy to download free stuff from the net and convert it to the right format. Plus, I got a free copy of a new release to review ‘cos I subscribe to the author’s mailing list the other day – that was so cool!
@GrumpyOldman- I theorize that the reason why some people have rape fantasies is the same reason why some people like horror movies. Because terror in an environment where there is no real threat of harm is thrilling, and because humans are morbid little buggers who are fascinated by the spectacle of bad things. Obviously a horror enthusiast does not want to be chased and murdered by a serial killer, and people who have rape fantasies don’t want to be raped. And people, regardless of whether they like horror movies, generally oppose awful things in real life (such as rape and murder) because those things are AWFUL, not because they secretly want them.
@grumpyoldnurse: I also read The Dresden Files. *hangs head
I was really enjoying the Dresden Files, but I’ve kind of lost track of them since the ghost book. My ancient (5 years old) e-reader seems to be dying, which makes me very sad. I initially bought it for purely space reasons (no room for books), but the sheer convenience is wonderful. Except for idiotic pricing and geographic restrictions (also idiotic).
I mean, how is it that I can buy a book in paperback for $8 in my town, but I can’t buy the e-book at all due to geographic restrictions, or I CAN buy it from one particular e-tailer, but for $10? Bullshit, I say. I’ll go read some other book.