Pity the poor pickup artists, who have suffered so much at the hands of modern women.
Just consider the many cruelties that these malicious females have inflicted on these long-suffering men: Women insult and horrify men by getting tattoos, developing self-esteem, and being fat. They have the temerity to sleep with men that aren’t pickup artists. They force would-be Casanovas to take showers and even wipe their own asses in order to appeal to their fickle female tastes. Sometimes they even say “no” to sex.
And then there is the hair thing: believe it or not, some women actually cut their hair short in an obvious attempt to destroy the boners of modern man.
But it turns out women don’t have to get pixie cuts to oppress men with their hair. They can also put their long hair … in a bun.
Our old friend Heartiste is on the case:
This trend of women putting their hair up in buns has got to be a sign of Peak Manjawed Lawyercunt. http://t.co/gQqhZYNQII
— heartiste (@heartiste) January 7, 2015
Here, by the way, is the example he give of one of these manjawed, bun-headed you-know-whats:
One of Heartiste’s fans suggests that the real problem isn’t the bun but her excessively Jewish glasses:
@heartiste ballerina buns are hot on pretty women; it's the black horned rim Jew "intellectual" glasses that are ugly. @feministlies
— Truth Warrior (@NaturalLawTruth) January 7, 2015
Just a reminder: the dudes having this, er, conversation seriously think of themselves as the Great White Hope for western civilization.
LOL pallygirl, love it!
If I were more confident I would just wear my hair short because I like it better that way but even ridiculous douchey remarks like that of Louise really affect me, not that on a conscious level I think they matter. They still wound me on an emotional level because I’m pretty fragile though and when yore a disagreeable woman you get snarky entitled criticisms like that ALL THE TIME. I’m not secure enough right now to withstand that.
I have Sailor Jerry-style tattoos on my forearms and just assumed people wouldn’t say anything about them or would comment if they had something nice to say or were curious. Particularly as I get older though people feel entitled to give me unsolicited criticism about them. Those are really going to hurt your career opportunities, you’re too old for those, you’re going to have trouble finding a husband, it’s immodest of you, they’ll be awful if you lose weight, etc. What the fuck? Why do people think they have any business shitting on me for tattoos? They certainly can’t claim they’re trying to help because there is literally nothing I can do about my tattoos. I’m stuck with them. Telling me how they’re going to ruin my adult life is just rubbing my face in it. Even if I could just do away with them with a Staedtler eraser though why do complete fucking strangers like Louise think it’s OK to, without any kind solicitation, criticise my appearance like I’m their kid and they’re telling me to stop picking my nose?
There are few things I hate more than women reinforcing patriarchal notions of how women should behave.
@marinerachel: and the other stupid thing about it (besides having the vanity to think that one’s opinion of others’ clothing etc matters) is that it is all personal taste. It’s just the same as the fact that I find chocolate chip cookies really odd (chocolate chips, in a biscuit, but why) and others find them yummy. There is nothing inherently “good” or “bad” about chocolate chip cookies, it’s just differences in personal taste.
That’s what I keep telling myself when surrounded by chocolate chip cookie fanatics. Never stand between them and the cookies.
Belatedly adding to Emmy Rae’s comment on the first page:
To pinch this excellent idea:
Attention all men! Millions of you choose NOT to wear your hair long and curly, or replace your hair-deficit with appropriate wigs, every day. Nor are you wearing suitably trimmed and styled moustaches and beards. I am terribly oppressed by this! I am most attracted to men with the above styling, though I am magnamimous enough to allow either a centre part or fringe, your choice. Compliance is mandatory, as dictated by my lady boner.
It’s not going to ruin your life. They don’t have any business doing that but they’re dolts who inexplicably believe their opinions matter when they don’t at all. Not that this helps, but I wish I was there because I give an endless amount of shit to anyone who would actually say these things to someone else in front of me. At this point in my life I can be, in a sort of jokey way, an unrelenting dick to people who are acting like assholes while sober.
I was hyper sensitive for over three decades and would be reduced to a puddle of sadness but now I just lash out. Being over 40 rules, zero fucks to give as the kids say.
Jumping on the band wagon here, cause why not? (band wagons are very silly, but in a fun way)
Attention all men! Millions of you are shorter than I am, and you choose not to try to cover up your height deficit with lifts or tall hats, every day. Nor are you wearing suitably trimmed and and cleaned fingernails. I am terribly oppressed by this! I am most attracted to men taller than I am, with nice hands, though I am magnamimous enough to allow basic height requirement to be either 6’1″, or 6’2″, your choice. Compliance is mandatory, as dictated by my lady boner. (my tall lady boner)
Tattoos: check
Short hair: check
Bright unnatural hair color: check (currently bright red with orange streaks in front)
I could add glasses but I do wear contacts most of the time.
Yet somehow I have an incredibly sweet, romantic, geeky, feminist boyfriend who find all that attractive, respects me, and is supportive of my gender fluid identity. Oh yeah, and he’s super hot. So how again do men not like those things?
I hypothesis that everyone who has done with to me has never had anything in their life but the approval of men to live for. I think that’s why they’re such busybodies and are so offended by women deviating from that model. They have trouble believing women can exist autonomously and groom to their own standards and when they see women doing it they become resentful, having never lived for themselves. I think that’s why they shit on me – they resent that looking the way I do by my own choice is an option they were entirely unaware of.
@ marinerachel – or they’re just jerks. Either way, hugs, if you want them.
Hey, I’m all for it if they look like this.
That’s pretty much what I had in mind, but with more misandry. Because of the annoying lady boner updates. 😛
Hmmm … we could insist that menz are only allowed on the bandwagon if they meet our ladyboner requirements.
(The fact that these requirements will be contradictory is a feature, not a bug.)
This game sounds fun, and I wish to join!
Attention all men! I have noticed that not all of you are wearing three-piece suits! I find this extremely oppressive, as my ladyboner finds men in suits to be most pleasing! I demand that you men cough up the dosh to purchase a lovely suit from your local tailor.
Anything other than black and/or dark grey is strictly forbidden, but you can customize your suit with various colored button-down shirts, vests and ties (I and my lady boner prefer deep reds and other dark colors. Pastel pink is also acceptable as it appeals to my feminine tendencies). Fedoras are acceptable. Trilbies, as you MRAs seem to like, are NOT.
Should you not wish to join in my mandatory suit rule, a kilt is also acceptable. However, you must meet the requirements of being an athlete of a reputable sport (Highland sports are a plus), having a lovely, well-groomed beard and mustache, and being shirtless.
Because ladyboner.
On the subject of tattoos, I can’t afford an actual one (yet. I’m hoping to get the Bioshock chain across my left wrist, and maybe some other vidya game related ones), I will give myself a sleeve of temporary Hello Kitty tattoos. Because that’s what a real badass would do.
Men! I notice that many of you are not currently elves. Nor have any of you decided to be dwarves. This gives me a sad, because I want to see all the lovely dwarf-elf-epic-bros and their snarkery.
I demand that half of you become elves, and the other half dwarves. I will also accept a token dragon or two. Maybe a few unicorns, as well. Only a few, mind. And those who choose dragons had best practice their best Toothless impressions.
No unicorns being jerks; Unicorns farting rainbows is permitted.
The rest of you: make this world a glorious tapestry of multi-ethnic elvedwarfdom the likes of which neither fantasy nor reality has ever seen.
My inner heart of hearts that melts for opposites being snarky besties demands it, and your failure to acquiesce to the creation of my warm fuzzy feelings through platonic snarkery is oppression of the highest order.
Seconded!
I have to add to this (because of course I couldn’t come up with this in my first go):
Attention all men! Millions of you choose NOT to wear the velvet justacorps, vest, breeches and plumed hat, as modeled by Captains Hook and Barobossa, every day. I am terribly oppressed by this! I am seriously attracted to men in the above outfit (although I am magnanimous enough to allow either boots or stockings and shoes, your choice). Compliance is mandatory, as dictated by my lady boner.
Don’t get pants-feels, but I do get “Oh you precious, precious person. Let me hug you and bask in the warm glow of your adorableness” feels a lot.
Platonic Best Friends Ever give me so many warm fuzzies. I love them, so much. I want to adopt them and let them live in a corner of my living room and radiate friendiness everywhere.
@kittehserf
I saw this and thought of you:
http://static.squarespace.com/static/52e33e45e4b0625f62017e0d/t/53ff9007e4b01e87906644d7/1409257483126/169fedoramed.jpg
Also, source: http://www.therevtimes.com/the-comics/2014/8/28/fedora-enlightenment
Also, for anyone confused as to what’s a fedora, and what’s a trilby, here’s a handy dandy guide:
http://static.fjcdn.com/large/pictures/56/d4/56d416_4924830.jpg
Bwahahahahaha love it, ParadoxicalIntention!
I think my tat is probably the ultimate douche-bro repellent. Check it:
Dang it! Try again:
http://i.imgur.com/bCfK984.jpg?1
Shit sorry that is so frigging big 🙁
Spiders are definitely misandry. Especially black widows.
Is a pork pie hat the same as a trilby?
Very few people can (or could) pull off a Fedora. They all either died prior to 2000 or played Indiana Jones.
And I should to bed, because it’s 3 hours past my bedtime and I have work tomorrow.