Pity the poor pickup artists, who have suffered so much at the hands of modern women.
Just consider the many cruelties that these malicious females have inflicted on these long-suffering men: Women insult and horrify men by getting tattoos, developing self-esteem, and being fat. They have the temerity to sleep with men that aren’t pickup artists. They force would-be Casanovas to take showers and even wipe their own asses in order to appeal to their fickle female tastes. Sometimes they even say “no” to sex.
And then there is the hair thing: believe it or not, some women actually cut their hair short in an obvious attempt to destroy the boners of modern man.
But it turns out women don’t have to get pixie cuts to oppress men with their hair. They can also put their long hair … in a bun.
Our old friend Heartiste is on the case:
This trend of women putting their hair up in buns has got to be a sign of Peak Manjawed Lawyercunt. http://t.co/gQqhZYNQII
— heartiste (@heartiste) January 7, 2015
Here, by the way, is the example he give of one of these manjawed, bun-headed you-know-whats:
One of Heartiste’s fans suggests that the real problem isn’t the bun but her excessively Jewish glasses:
@heartiste ballerina buns are hot on pretty women; it's the black horned rim Jew "intellectual" glasses that are ugly. @feministlies
— Truth Warrior (@NaturalLawTruth) January 7, 2015
Just a reminder: the dudes having this, er, conversation seriously think of themselves as the Great White Hope for western civilization.
I love how Heartsie here is an egg. You’s a cute little misogynist egg, isn’t you?
No. No, you isn’t. Bad egg.
Why does Heartiste always sound so crotchety and out of touch? “This durn newfangled bun trend!!”
Women have been wearing their hair up since ancient Greece, dude. It’s a sign of class and elegance.
It’s telling that Heartiste is terrified of them. They probably remind him of a librarian/schoolmarm/Teutonic nanny – someone who’s about to scold him for being naughty.
Sadly, the recent bun glut has lowered the global price of women.
Their weaknesses shows. If bun hair threatens them then they’re less tough then my newborn cousin and infinitely more unpleasant.
Also, the photo of the woman in short hair in this thread rocks the look. You pull it off well.
Things to do today:
1. Put hair in chic chignon.
2. Buy horn-rims.
3. Oppress, oppress, oppress.
4. Misandry!!!
There’s an episode of King of Queens where Doug gets all upset because Carrie starts wearing her hair in a bun. He acts like a manbaby about it, of course.
I only summarized a sitcom plot here because I’ve seen several manospherians use this show as an example when they complain about misandry on TV because they somehow think they’re being oppressed by the dumb fat guy with a hot wife trope. It’s funny that they’re acting just like what they think is a misandric stereotype.
I thought my hair was in a ponytail and I was going to change it to a bun so I could oppress some boners. When I put my hands back there I noticed it already was in a bun! I guess misandry comes so naturally to me that I don’t even have to think about it.
Are hair buns still the ‘in’ thing in fashion? I recall it was a couple of years ago now when I noticed half the girls I saw out had their hair up in various styles of bun. I don’t see so many now.
http://tpkblog.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Monty-Python-Dennis-the-annoying-peasant-Holy-Grail.jpg
Bun-haired women frequenting bars, distributing sex is no basis for a system of equality!
@Buttercup Q. Several times I’ve heard from this very commentariat that the price of women and/or pussy is at historic lows, and I buy, and find that the price goes lower! Luckily my portfolio is well diversified, but come on, people.
At least I still have the dildo in a little suit that my true love gave to me.
sn0rk – I don’t know if it’s in fashion.
I do it because I’m lazy and don’t enjoy toddlers pulling on my hair.
Not only do they have chubby little vice hands, they’re also nearly always miraculously dirty (even/especially immediately after being washed).
David Futrelle
Interestingly enough, Princess Leia’s hairstyle isn’t even possible in real life.
Mythbusting Princess Leia’s Hair
http://skepchick.org/2010/07/mythbusting-princess-leias-hair/
I guess women who want to be Princess Leia for Halloween are going to be oppressing men with their fake hair, now.
You beat me to it! I kind of have a hard time imagining the MRA crew rallying to this one—seems like they are quick to excoriate anything even vaguely associated with hipsters.
Although I wonder if there’s a way to spin it into a manly man contest. He who can grow and style the most towering, glorious beehive ‘do wins.
I don’t even think a woman has to have Leia hair, Criticaldragon, to be an oppressor.
Wear your hair down, girls! Stick it to The Woman!
It’s just amazing how many ways we are able to oppress men – hair up, hair short, wearing pants, wearing skirts, wearing yoga pants, wearing leggings, being fat, being thin, being beautiful, being ugly, talking, being a lesbian, being straight but not available, being bi but not wanting a threesome WITH YOU, not having sex, having sex, naming names when discussing rape, not naming names when discussing rape, etc etc etc
Yet men are NEVER able to oppress women, even with their best efforts of sexual harassment, sexual violence, use of slurs, reproductive coercion, making laws that privilege men and make life more difficult for women…
I just don’t get it. I mean maybe it’s because I find short hair attractive and am not a asshole. But what about this get under these jerks skin beside they just want to tell woman what to do?
Emmy – I think that with these guys just existing cuts it.
Even if women were somehow able to be and do everything they wanted, it’d just be because we’re trying to manipulate them.
Ken: Heartiste is an expert level projector. If he doesn’t like something in a woman, it’s not just his opinion it’s a biotroof. If he thinks short haired women are oppressors then they are. And his views represent all of mankind’s (except the manginas, who are probably off somewhere talking to a woman like she’s a person. Pfft. Such a beta move).
Attention all men! Millions of you choose NOT to wear vests (the kind that go with suits, not the puffy kind) over button down shirts, but without jackets, every day. I am terribly oppressed by this! I am most attracted to men in the above outfit (although I am magnanimous enough to allow either jeans or dress pants, your choice). Compliance is mandatory, as dictated by my lady boner.
Oh yes, and his general attitude is “if she’s not pleasing my boner she’s oppressing me.”
@proxieme: agreed
@Emmy Rae
Are you buying large blocks of controlling shares? Also, make sure you’re diversified into the Asian and Eastern European markets.
It makes you wonder….is it ever OK to be a woman?
I mean, come on. The woman in the stock photo is objectively gorgeous, and yet these asstowels are picking her apart for stupid “2/10 would not bang” reasons. It’s a miserable excuse they make to themselves for why they’re not getting laid, an excuse that still allows them to front as an experienced alpha PUA guru for the bros.
At a guess, most straight guys, looking at that photo, would not be thinking “hm, manjawed lawyer bun, intellectual glasses, NOPE”.
@proxieme
That is exactly why I no longer wear dangly earrings.
@Kootiepatra: “Although I wonder if there’s a way to spin it into a manly man contest. He who can grow and style the most towering, glorious beehive ‘do wins.”
Like the annual Mr Mustache competition in India! GO GO MR MUSTACHE EIGHT FEET EIGHT FEET EIGHT FEET A SIDE IS THE NUMBER TO BEAT
http://blogs.wsj.com/indiarealtime/2012/11/27/the-mustache-fights-back/
Nothing says “manly man alpha male” like whining about a stock photo models hair and glasses.
Seriously, does Heartiste & co. have nothing better to do? This is so transparently ” just looking for something to criticize” it’s ridiculous.
As any man who has long hair and who sometimes has to safeguard his long hair by putting it up in a do-rag could tell you — if you have long hair and if you want to maintain your long hair, sometimes you have to wear your long hair up. It can’t be down all the time, unless it’s incredibly strong (which is not impossible, just rare). I’m a woman with long hair, and one of the ways I maintain my long hair is to wear it up most of the time; pretty much all of the time, when I’m at home. (One of the standard male complaints: “you look different at home than you do out in public and that’s cheating.”) This is something traditional men ought to understand, though: back in the day when just about no adult woman cut her hair unless she was Jewish and Orthodox (or a nun), the standard move for women was to wear their hair up, and that was partly to protect it from disaster. Even little girls wore braids, for the same reason. If your hair is going to be your crowning glory you’ve got to protect it and you can’t protect it if it’s loose all the time. Sorry. Reality.
Is a pony-tail the jim crow to the bun’s slavery? Like what’s the oppression progression like here?