Pickup guru Roosh Valizadeh is not only a terrible, terrible person. He is also an abuser of language.
In a post entitled Culture War Predictions For 2015, Roosh forecasts great things for the “manosphere” in the coming year. Or perhaps the coming 9 months?
Prepare yourself for the most belabored (heh heh) pregnancy metaphor the world has ever seen:
In 2013, we saw a large increase in manosphere readership that began to ejaculate our ideas onto the mainstream. In 2014, these ideas became the morning sickness that left the enemy unprepared and unwilling to respond with logic, reason, and facts. In 2015, you will see the birthing on our side of semi-formalized alliances between various groups that use more organized action to deal crushing blows upon panicked feminists and SJW’s. Media owners will reconsider their usefulness. At the same time, our mob will grow to a frightening size after growing big and strong on breast milk, and they will be lustful for blood.
Obviously, there is nothing in that paragraph that isn’t awful. But I’m a little hung up on that first sentence. Roosh: I know you probably watch a lot of porn, dude, but you are aware that in order to make a baby, you need to deposit your sperm into a woman, not onto her, like certain kinds of squid.
Actually, I’m a little confused about exactly what happens, with the squid in any case; their sex parties get pretty freaky. But I am pretty sure that to make human babies the sperm needs to get inside the woman somewhere in that whole region down there.
Could it be that Roosh learned everything he knows about reproduction from Men in Black?
@fruitloopsie – I loved your comic strip.
@Dan – learning, you’re doing it right.
Roosh doesn’t even try.
Roosh’s gibberish reminds me of the poem “The Second Coming” by W.B. Yeats:
@Kirby – I loved your Alice story.
Yes, mocking these guys is the worst thing that could ever happen to them. Yep. Much worse than what they do to others.
Ceebarks – that cultural stereotype used to puzzle me. Why are there no stories of bookish, intellectual fathers and their macho jock sons?
Then I realized – in the latter case, the sons do not grow up and write angsty fiction about their dads. My own father loved books and reading and libraries; as a result, he and I were very close. One of my brothers loved sports and fast cars and loud music; my dad always worried about him.
Speaking of total ignorance of reproduction, I am absolutely flabbergasted each time, every time, I encounter a grown man talking about women putting tampons in their urethra or anus.
Yes, I CAN pee while wearing a tampon. I can also pool while wearing a tampon. I can, even, do both at the same time, because I am a multi-waster. Aren’t I talented?
If we, as a society, stopped treating menstruation and pregnancy as such shocking, can’t-talk-about-it topics, we’d all of us be much better off. I don’t get why we must speak about it in such hushed tones, or in “women-only” circles.
MEN NEED TO HEAR THESE THINGS! Men need to know about periods, and the whole cycle in between. And they need to know the mechanics, and whys and wherefores.
Also, tampons are great bandages for bullet-holes, which is why if you send care-packages to the battle-front, you should include a box, no matter the sex of the soldier. And males soldiers should not be ashamed to use them. They are sterile, not filthy, just because they were designed to stick inside a woman.
Women are not unclean beasts, you know. And yes, we actually do have three holes, “down there.”
It makes me wonder, when I encounter such ignorance, just how much they know about their *own* bodies.
@Ellessar –
Ugh! I think that’s how this sort of thing:
http://repair-her-armor.tumblr.com
got started.
That is to say, men like Roosh created the body armor that sensible people then had to repair.
And can I just say that the costumers in Game of Thrones got that right? No boob-socks or stuck-on breasts on the breast plate for the Maiden of Tarth. Just good, functional armor.
@Michelle
I learned really fast to do that with Magnus. Approach him from the front and you’d get savaged, and I do mean savaged: we’re talking bruising as well as punctures here. But approach him from the back and he was fine, and he loved sitting on laps! (Still does, but over the other side.)
Katie goes for the in-your-face thing, but usually with a nip on the chin. Her meows are more like a Siamese’s, and she doesn’t do pitiful. Bossy, yes, pitiful, no. 😀
@ParadoxicalIntention – love that Tumblr quote about fat. So true!
::dies::
I’m itching to say that in a job interview now. “No, I’m not a multi-tasker, but I am a multi-waster.”
Well, if they think their semen is Liquid Fucking Gold …
@Shaun – I hope you feel better, soon.
Waaaaait. Why is the sun coming up now? Oh, look, only fifty more pages to go!
I’ve always figured that if I’m willing to put it down to go to sleep it must not be a very good book.
@Kitteh – if you say that at a job interview, and they hire you, don’t tell anyone, or everyone will be after your job!
Also, liquid F***ing gold is, by nature, too hot to handle. I wouldn’t want it even touching my body. It must be sheer AGONY to be carrying around molten metal in ones testicles all the time.
No wonder he’s so cranky.
Um… what?!?!?!?!
I have to second the “um what” there.
No, I’m pretty sure that overcrowding is not the cause of rape. WTF?
Bwahahahahaha!
As for overcrowding and rape – only with animals in captivity. Humans being sapient, rape is a conscious choice.
Makes sense to me, yes.
Speaking of disappointed dads, I just got off the phone with my old man, who can in one breath complain bitterly about how disastrous the job market is in his field and in the next, lecture me about how DH and I should go into it. lol
It can be a very intellectually rewarding field, and I probably could have been persuaded to pursue that kind of education fifteen years ago. Wouldn’t have been my FIRST choice, but a close enough second to have been talked into it. I was such a daddy’s girl and making him happy was important to me then. But he was the one who said I’d just get married and waste the education. :/
So now that I’ve actually GOT a family to support, he wants me to pour precious time, energy and money into a field he himself knows is risky, and not especially remunerative even when it does out ok?
Alpha-dad-logic! lol
Really, I think he’d been hanging his legacy-hopes on one of my younger brothers, who rejected Dad’s field a lot faster and more definitively than I did. Once he realized they weren’t going to bite, he turned back to me. Meh.
River of time never runs backward, though!
Not the cause of rape. I said “a factor.”
From an evo-psych stand-point (hehehe – humans equal beasts), over-crowding could cause people to lose it, because of all the stresses and the increased competition from sheer proximity, and alphas having to prove their superiority to the betas who are all now within spitting distance, as opposed to so far away that they can’t get a good view of the alphas actually behaving in a gentlemanly, civilized manner.
Seriously, though, over-crowding does add to the general stress factors of life. It’s by no means an excuse. However, has it ever been cited as a trigger? I’m curious. Is our growing awareness of, and willingness to actually talk about rape an effect of education, or could it be that the fact that with more people in such close proximity to each other, the opportunities for rape abound, and what’s more, the opportunity to *witness* such behavior abound?
In “the olden days,” when rape was never mentioned, it still happened, but it tended to happen in the dark, as it were. Now, we have less and less privacy, and we see it more. Plus, when people lived more rural lives, visits were fewer, and farther between, so there really was less opportunity for rape, and more opportunity for solitude. Now, people who like their alone time are considered weird, and we are, on the whole, surrounded by people, in close proximity, a majority of the time.
Studies have shown that more rapes happen among people who know each other than the whole “stranger alone in a dark alley,” thing. You’re safer alone in a dark alley than you are at a club or bar.
So, really, *could* overcrowding be a factor? Does it make it easier for rapists to rape? Are people who want to rape seeking out crowded situations? Or do they just take advantage of something of which they are already a part?
Most rapes don’t happen in the middle of a crowd, but the set-up for it often does, I believe. Then again, we are so used, as a society, to a lack of privacy that we have more and more people not only gang-raping their victims, but actually having the by-standers gather around to photo and take video of the event.
One bystander, alone, is more likely to step in to help the victim than a crowd of bystanders. They will think that someone else will take that responsibility, and the larger the crowd, the less responsibility each bystander will take. The larger the crowd, the less likely the victim is to have someone step-up, unless someone (including the victim) speaks up and says specifically, “will YOU help?”
I learned that when I was studying for CPR. They said never just yell out, “Call 911.” They said to point to a specific person, and say, “YOU call 911.” That puts the responsibility on an individual basis, rather than a group basis, and people are more likely to respond positively to that.
Group dynamics are a very strange thing.
Perhaps I should have said, “a factor in rape culture,” not rape, itself.
@ceebarks – Sometimes I think people get the unfortunate idea that “leaving a legacy,” means “leaving a clone.”
Not the same thing, at all.
Anyway, my favorite legacy stories are the ones where each generation is markedly different. Variety is the spice of life and of dynasties.
I think that Michelle meant rape in the squid population, not in the human population.
No, it’s not a factor in rape culture, either. Rape still happens in places that are sparsely populated.
Okay, Michelle. Stop digging, because you are only making it worse.
Oops, forgot to refresh and didn’t notice that Michelle had replied. Sorry.