Pickup guru Roosh Valizadeh is not only a terrible, terrible person. He is also an abuser of language.
In a post entitled Culture War Predictions For 2015, Roosh forecasts great things for the “manosphere” in the coming year. Or perhaps the coming 9 months?
Prepare yourself for the most belabored (heh heh) pregnancy metaphor the world has ever seen:
In 2013, we saw a large increase in manosphere readership that began to ejaculate our ideas onto the mainstream. In 2014, these ideas became the morning sickness that left the enemy unprepared and unwilling to respond with logic, reason, and facts. In 2015, you will see the birthing on our side of semi-formalized alliances between various groups that use more organized action to deal crushing blows upon panicked feminists and SJW’s. Media owners will reconsider their usefulness. At the same time, our mob will grow to a frightening size after growing big and strong on breast milk, and they will be lustful for blood.
Obviously, there is nothing in that paragraph that isn’t awful. But I’m a little hung up on that first sentence. Roosh: I know you probably watch a lot of porn, dude, but you are aware that in order to make a baby, you need to deposit your sperm into a woman, not onto her, like certain kinds of squid.
Actually, I’m a little confused about exactly what happens, with the squid in any case; their sex parties get pretty freaky. But I am pretty sure that to make human babies the sperm needs to get inside the woman somewhere in that whole region down there.
Could it be that Roosh learned everything he knows about reproduction from Men in Black?
Also hi! Am deathly ill with the fabulous cold I got for Christmas, am going to bed for a month (or until the 5 year old forces me out again).
Feel better soon, Shaun!
During the birthing, they’ll be using an epidural that blocks all impulses from reality.
It should also be noted that newborns don’t deliver “crushing blows”. They can barely even hold their heads up. I do foresee a lot of crying and tantrums, though.
I’m still trying to figure out where Roosh gets the idea that MRAs and PUAs are going to “rise up” with the help of “mainstream media”.
Because seriously? With all the negative attention #GamerGate and MRAs have been getting as of late, I doubt the “mainstream media” will be willing to take their side. Especially since more and more women are getting into various media.
Petition signed, Shaun. Hope your cold clears up soon!
Does Rooshy boy think he’s going to give birth to Rosemary’s Baby or something? He seems terribly scared of infants, which somehow doesn’t surprise me.
Shadow was a Maine Coon cat who adopted us but couldn’t get along with the cats we already had. He was a grumpy old man so I really wanted to keep him, but it wasn’t practical. We found him a home with friends way out in the country. His fur was badly matted, so they had him shaved and discovered that he was covered with healed bites — he’d been living as a stray for a long time. He really preferred living outside most of the time but would follow the husband around and supervise whenever he went out to do yard work.
While we had him, he spent most of his time up in the closet, putting on airs of persecution.
“He seems terribly scared of infants”
Well, to a guy who’s too lazy to wipe his own butt …
Sorry — posted comment about Shadow in wrong thread — up past bedtime again.
Nighty-Night oh Grumpy One!
Unless you’re being like me and totally not going to bed at your bedtime, because of reasons. Usually bad ones.
Like “I can totally just read one more chapter! Totally. I can quit at any time. Honest!”
This is the part that got me; it’s like Roosh thinks feminists and SJW’s are like herds of wildebeest that are ready to spook at his nonsense. Or something.
That panicked my enemies bit was one of several things that pointed to it being yet another Roosh fantasy.
That’s me, usually at 2am.
Rooshs’ prose reads like a Dril tweet.
This is… I.. what the…
So, he already understood sex as a competition against the person he’s supposed to want to have sex with.
And now pregnancy is also a competition, a fight even, among two people who somehow get half the pregnancy each?
Somehow being impregnated squid-style and having morning nausea is like loosing but giving birth and being born is mighty and powerful, if done by a person different than the nauseous one?
What the…?
This is what happens ladies and gents when porn plays a major role in someone’s sex ed. Somewhere in Roosh’s mind his “logical thinking” has gone as thus:
“School said that if you have sex with a woman she gets pregnant. But porn says that having sex with a woman almost always involves a money shot. Therefore, to have sex with a woman you only need to finish ON her, and then she’s pregnant! I’M SO MUCH SMARTERER THAN THOSE SJWS!”
David Futrelle,
You wrote,
“Could it be that Roosh learned everything he knows about reproduction from Men in Black?”
No I think Roosh is an alien and that’s why he doesn’t understand how humans reproduce. LOL!
Considering the amount of crap the MRA’s already produce, my sympathy is with whoever is stuck with the job of changing their nappies (diapers) after the birth of their “new improved movement”
How did this guy ever get a degree in biology?
At any rate, even accepting his gross, tortured metaphor… an astonishingly large percentage of pregnancies fail, as he should know, and even a live birth doesn’t necessarily mean a healthy strapping young male asskicker.
Gasp. What if this potential “child” turns out Totally Beta? The sensitive artistic son who disappoints his “alpha” dad– a tale as old as time.
(The increasingly bitter alpha-dad who produces an uninterrupted string of daughters, an even older one!) lol
Laughing SO HARD! Oh, wow, that is horrible writing!
Thanks, David, I needed that.
@Kittehs – My cat will also let it be known that she is NOT DONE with the petty thing. Whipping out her claws, she will grab the petty thing, and bring it back to her.
Yeah, with Amelia, scratches equal looooove. Or something. I have learned to approach her from the rear, or at least retreat from the rear, so by the time she realizes I’ve stopped petting, I’m out of range.
Mittens, on the other hand, doesn’t do that. She just gets right IN YOUR FACE and meows pitifully, and buts you with her head, until you give her the loving she desires.
I love my cats.
I saw a comment on tumblr I think kind of fits my opinion on Roosh’s icky views on female fat:
“if you think the fat on my chest and the fat in my butt is sexy but you can’t handle a little bit of fat on my stomach or my thighs you can go fuck yourself i don’t need that kinda negativity in my life”
Of course, if my cats were humans, I’d be calling them sexual predators.
This behavior is adorable in cats, and unacceptable in humans. Why? Is it misandry? No! It’s because we expect men to act like grown-up human beings, and not like animals. Misandry would be saying, “Men can’t help themselves. They see an attractive female, and just HAVE to attack her, and deposit their sperm all over her eggs.”
Fortunately, humans are neither felines, nor squids.
And yeah, that squid mating ocean-orgy thing is pretty freaky, alright.
I find it interesting that in the open ocean, female squid can pick and choose their mate, not because they outnumber the males, or have power over the males, but simply because of spacing issues.
Could over-crowding be a factor in rape? I wonder. How anyone could possibly do a real, scientific study of that, I do not know, but it’s something to think about.
@POM
Thank you! It’s not about virginity. It’s about education.
It’s possible that Roosh has been so woefully uneducated that he’s just been doing it wrong (from a procreation stand-point) all these years. But for sex as simply an enjoyable activity between consenting adults, as long as all involved parties are enjoying themselves and happy with the results there really is no “wrong” way to do it.
Oh, wait.
Roosh HAS been doing it wrong all these years.
Nevermind.
It worked! It worked!
I tamed the blockquote monster! Huzzah!
@Dan – thanks.
In a world where education is readily available, mocking ignorance, especially *willful ignorance,* such as that of Roosh and others of his ilk, is acceptable.
There are many reasons to be a virgin, ranging from “want-to-but-not-yet-ready” to “don’t-want-to” and yes, “want-to-but-not-yet-successful.” None of these should be mocked. Unsuccessful should be advised to be their best self,a nd hope for the best, while finding other positive outlets, and realize that sex really is not everything.
I’m in that last camp, with a bit of the first thorn in for good measure, and from time to time, a bit of that middle, because I’m a complicated human being who has not yet had sex.
However, I’m educated, and get more education all the time.
Many people have attempted to educated Roosh, but he won’t listen or learn. He is willfully ignorant, refusing to see his sexual partners as actual partners, instead of as targets to take down.