Categories
antifeminism creepy evil SJWs PUA rhymes with roosh

Pickup artist Roosh V wins Most Unfortunate Metaphor of the Year Award, may not know how babies are made

Oh, you're a model? You mean, like a tentacle model?
Oh, you’re a model? You mean, like a tentacle model?

Pickup guru Roosh Valizadeh is not only a terrible, terrible person. He is also an abuser of language.

In a post entitled Culture War Predictions For 2015, Roosh forecasts great things for the “manosphere” in the coming year. Or perhaps the coming 9 months?

Prepare yourself for the most belabored (heh heh) pregnancy metaphor the world has ever seen:

In 2013, we saw a large increase in manosphere readership that began to ejaculate our ideas onto the mainstream. In 2014, these ideas became the morning sickness that left the enemy unprepared and unwilling to respond with logic, reason, and facts. In 2015, you will see the birthing on our side of semi-formalized alliances between various groups that use more organized action to deal crushing blows upon panicked feminists and SJW’s. Media owners will reconsider their usefulness. At the same time, our mob will grow to a frightening size after growing big and strong on breast milk, and they will be lustful for blood.

Obviously, there is nothing in that paragraph that isn’t awful. But I’m a little hung up on that first sentence. Roosh: I know you probably watch a lot of porn, dude, but you are aware that in order to make a baby, you need to deposit your sperm into a woman, not onto her, like certain kinds of squid.

Actually, I’m a little confused about exactly what happens, with the squid in any case; their sex parties get pretty freaky. But I am pretty sure that to make human babies the sperm needs to get inside the woman somewhere in that whole region down there.

Could it be that Roosh learned everything he knows about reproduction from Men in Black?

259 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sunny Burn
9 years ago

It continues to baffle me that any of these people can look at what they’ve “accomplished” over the past few years and think they’re actually winning.

lkeke35
lkeke35
9 years ago

Yeah, everything about that paragraph is wrong. So wrong that I couldn’t even finish it. Now, my head hurts. It’s eleven in the morning and I need brain-bleach.

Ira Shantz-Kreutzkamp
Ira Shantz-Kreutzkamp
9 years ago

For a pack so slavishly devoted to the idea that they alone have reason, sound logic and facts on their side, this is a band that seems uncannily devoted to myths and appeals to emotion, also rampant lies.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
9 years ago

I think I’d rather get slimed with new-born alien cephalopod goo than read that paragraph again.

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
9 years ago

Sounds more like a boil forming to me . . .

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

That squid at the top of the page is hella cute. A necessary antidote to the rest. Good choice on that pic selection.

Miss Andry
9 years ago

Roosh, how is babby formed?

Dan kasteray
Dan kasteray
9 years ago

Could it be that roosh is a virgin and he’s been lying to himself and the world this whole time

Fred_the_Dog
Fred_the_Dog
9 years ago

Squid are so cute!

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

What exactly does Roosh think the manosphere accomplished this year? The MRA conference was a failure and a joke. Gamergate managed to turn everyone who didn’t immediately realize it was a cover for misogyny off in a short time span. PUA Julian Blanc got booted from several countries. And last but not least, Roosh himself hit a new low by whining about how wiping his ass was too hard.

Yeah, we’re really running scared.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

How does he think breast milk gives one blood lust? I’m most confused by that part.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

Could it be that roosh is a virgin and he’s been lying to himself and the world this whole time

Yeah, no, virgin shaming is not cool.

Kyla Ball
9 years ago

Oh my. It’s so poorly written one doesn’t know where to begin!! He he “How does he think breast milk gives one blood lust?”–great observation of one of the craziest lines weirdwoodtreehugger. 🙂

Dodom
Dodom
9 years ago

Maybe he was a bitey baby?

AJ Milne
AJ Milne
9 years ago

Heh. I think the boil image does suggest a better metaphor, actually.

Seriously, these guys are their own worst enemies on the PR front. So accustomed to preaching hatred to an already slavering choir, they’ve no idea how revealing of their generally unhinged, irrational hatred–and ultimately repellent and alienating–is their tired schtick outside that incestuous circle…

So, really, all they really need is for the larger public to get a good look at them in the light to mobilize a larger opposition. And yeah, I think there’s been a bit more of that, over the past year…

So I figure it’s more: 2015: the year the boil grew big enough to lance.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
9 years ago

In 2015, you will see the birthing on our side of semi-formalized alliances

I’m pretty sure its the ejaculate-ee (that is, the mainstream) who births stuff, not the ejaculator (the manosphere).

GOBACK (@JoeKlemmer)
9 years ago

It’s quite obvious why these “fellows” spend so much time and energy trying to recruit followers… There’s no way they can actually reproduce.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
9 years ago

Has any MRA or pua been to school like ever?

Brain bleach to the rescue actually it’s a comic that I made
http://imgur.com/5GYWKdo

Dan
I’m a virgin, I know how babies are made and I know about female autonomy because I paid attention in class and reading is good too.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
9 years ago

Oh sorry for any Michael bay and Stephanie Meyer fans

Dan Kasteray
Dan Kasteray
9 years ago

At Policy of Madness: I apologize for virgin shaming. I’m just saying that maybe Roosh has never touched a woman nor picked up a book to explain how sex works. And that he’s to sex what Rush Limbaugh is to politics.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 years ago

You’re not apologizing very well by doubling down. It’s not okay to throw virgins under the bus in order to insult Roosh. He provides plenty of material that doesn’t require collateral damage.

Johanna Roberts
9 years ago

I’d say that maybe he meant the old school use of the word ‘ejaculated’ which basically means ‘to speak or say’ but then I realized that’s giving him way too much credit and ignoring all the rest of the crap in that wonderful little POS writing he tried to do.

Puddleglum
9 years ago

In 2014, these ideas became the morning sickness that left the enemy unprepared and unwilling to respond with logic, reason, and facts.

This is really the most bizarre metaphor. Who is having the morning sickness, exactly? Since they’re the ones ‘birthing’ this thing, I’m guessing this is an exotic way of saying their word vomit made left us unprepared and unwilling?

Or did they mistake the fact that because we’re unwilling to clean up after them, they’re winning?

Also, please no ‘crazy’ comments. It’s really uncool.

Puddleglum
9 years ago

I can’t grammar this morning, sorry.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
9 years ago

I tried to read that paragraph, I really did, but my brain rebelled at about the word ‘ejaculate’ and NOPED the rest of the way through. And I’m not going back to try again!

lkeke35, the artwork in your avatar is absolutely stunning. Is that your work?

1 2 3 11