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"My seed has too much dignity to be in the company of the rest of useless humanity" and other insights on marriage and sperm from Infowars.com

Gosh, who would ever have expected that this guy might prove popular with unhinged MRA types?
Gosh, who would ever have thought that this guy might prove to be popular with unhinged MRA types?

So while poking about the manosphere today I followed a link from an obscure Men’s Rights blog over to Alex Jones’ Infowars site — specifically to the comments on a news article about a study that claims internet porn is destroying marriage.

Jones, as you may know, is essentially the king of the world’s conspiracy theorists, so naturally I expected his commenters to be pretty unhinged. What I didn’t realize is that they would also all be Men’s Rights Activists.

Well, maybe they don’t all call themselves that, but they certainly think like MRAs; several even linked to a site for Men Going Their Own Way.

Most commenters agreed that porn was a better deal than a wife; after all, as numerous wits declared, porn won’t steal half your money in a divorce.

But alongside such familiar, indeed cliché, sentiments there were also some pretty inspired mini-rants. Here’s my favorite, which received several dozen upvotes from the regulars, making it one of the most popular comments in the 373-comment thread.

 EinNietzscheStein • 4 days ago  My body, my choice. Been woman free for 3 years now, and at least $60K richer for it. Also realized I can live off under $10K a year, and thus under the tax exemption bracket, meaning I don't need to suffer tax extortion to pay for the indoctrination of breeders kids in collectivization concentration camps called school. I can move to where the jobs are, I can travel the world and if need be, rent woman for just a night. And even if they shut down porn or the internet, they will never ever be able to locate or confiscate years of downloaded material. I will proudly be releasing my sperm down the bathtub drain rather than down any the throat of some duplicitious broad who is a threat to my personal sovereignity, wealth, and sanity. I've had my share of women, and checking out. Thanks for nothing, you empty shells. You are the true polygamists, married to the state, married to your smartphones, married to your burdensome eggs, and good men will only occupy that very tiny space you left for him. My seed has too much dignity to be in the company of the rest of useless humanity that has no dignity or principles of its own.  24 • Reply • Share ›      Avatar     Another Apostle EinNietzscheStein • 4 days ago      Well said Brother!     3     •     Reply     •     Share ›         −     Avatar     chris EinNietzscheStein • 4 days ago      Amen brother. Eloquently stated...

But there were other comments that were nearly as, er, inspired as this one. Take this righteous comment from one of Mr. EinNietzscheStein’s biggest fans:

 Another Apostle • 4 days ago  I thank our Lord and Savior for Comment Sites like this. It has finally allowed men to get there feelings out toward what is going on. I hope this grows into a maninism movement to reclaim our God Given right to lead the family, the workplace and set our women back where they belong. There are some very afraid feminists out there right now realizing that their little ploy is no longer on track; men are not the big dumb clods that they have taken us for. Gentlemen, let's get our dignity back. Anyone who agrees with me, upvote this comment and I will lead the way into a new tomorrow. Quit sitting back and taking it. This is why they have got so far, it's because we never really took them seriously. I wonder how many billions of dollars in male assets the feminist movement has aquired in their war against men in the last forty years or so.  11 • Reply • Share ›And who could forget this fellow’s intriguing theories about female sexuality?

 WEREFEAT010 • 4 days ago  The promotion of feminism and homosexuality, plus the woman's ability to get a divorce for any reason, keep the house and the children adds to the fact that women are weak and will cave in when put under stress. The typical American woman is unsure of her feminism and is looking for another woman with a man's body who will obey her, cook and do housework. Eventually the woman in a man's body becomes optional, and a woman in a woman's body is acceptable.  This is Cultural Communism in action. The goal is to destroy the Family unit.  New movie: "This is Where I Leave You." In the movie, we have gentiles who wish to be Jews, and Jane Fonda AKA "Hanoi Jane" apparently announcing that she is now lesbian. She is "turned" in the movie's plot. I'd call that divine justice.  3 • Reply • Share ›

“Hanoi Jane.” Hadn’t heard that in a long time. Really brings you back, doesn’t it?

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kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

@cassandrakitty:

Hey, since I’m a Genuine Scot ™ can I be the Scrooge McDuck of this scenario?

Just as long as the “male assets” you’re hoarding is dollar bills and not sperm. Your swimming pool would be pretty gross otherwise.

I sincerely apologise for my gutter-brain in the previous comment. It was terrible and I should feel terrible.

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

Did ManWank already pull the sad little screencap threat the other day? Or was that the other troll Tion who turned out to be a sock for a previously banned troll.

Yup, that’s the one who threatened to screencap me. Shudder shudder terror terror YIPE… >snurk<

I looked grool up. It’s a term for the wetness the vaginas produce whilst aroused. So he’s just being really super creepy.

It’s so sad when they can’t simply say “lube”, eh?

Oh yeah, and here’s a song, since I had to uncrash my computer while trying to do too many things at once that are moree worthwhile than letting trolls JAQ off all over me…

ManWank, ManWank,
Fappy-wappy ManWank!
ManWank, ManWank,
Whack off somewhere else!

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
9 years ago

All of the trolls are second-tier these days.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

I’m just wondering how kirby is supposed to produce ladyfluids all by himself, honestly.

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

MORE worthwhile, Typo Mammoth. MORE.

kittehserf - MOD
9 years ago

kirbywarp – nothing terrible about that comment, it was the truth about this pathetic little wanker.

alaisvex
alaisvex
9 years ago

All of the trolls are second-tier these days.

*sighs* I know. Rage grool isn’t even a good insult. Most of us had to look up the term “grool” to even understand what he meant. If the term that you’re using is obscure and people must scurry towards a slang dictionary to understand what you mean, it’s probably not an effective insult.

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

Lawl. ManWalk thinks that we’re going to delete *her* comments

Best Freudian slip ever.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
9 years ago

I would guess that kirby is such a favourite with the Feminist High Council that they have awarded him ladyfluid producing super powers.

Also, kirby, yes the gutter brain was terrible, and you should feel terrible. Also, I should feel terrible for laughing at it so hard.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Oh oh oh, yeah, by “previous comment” I meant “previous sentence.” Sorry for the poor wording. 😀

@cassandrakitty:

O_O

*sizzle*

*vanishes in a puff of logic*

alaisvex
alaisvex
9 years ago

@Bina,

I swear that I meant “our.” Not sure where “her” came from. Maybe because he was threatening to screen cap Bina or Kitteh?

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

Rage grool isn’t even a good insult. Most of us had to look up the term “grool” to even understand what he meant. If the term that you’re using is obscure and people must scurry towards a slang dictionary to understand what you mean, it’s probably not an effective insult.

Not only that, but it also ridiculously presumes that rage is as sexually arousing for us as it is for our creep-ass trolls. NOPE. NOT EVEN REMOTELY.

(Also, I’m neither aroused nor angry right now, just amused at the stupidity of our latest 12-year-old and his juvenile attempts at “gotcha” and honey-badgering.)

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

@grumpyoldnurse:

Just gonna say, probably one of the worst superpowers ever. Utterly misandrous.

>: D

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

No, don’t throw them in that briar patch! They’ll be really upset by the fact that their comments made him annoyed enough that he felt the need to screencap them.

alaisvex
alaisvex
9 years ago

Eh, boner doesn’t always equate sexual arousal, much as vaginal fluids don’t always indicate arousal. Sometimes boners are random, and sometimes vaginal fluids just mean that you’re getting your period or ovulating or something random.

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

I swear that I meant “our.” Not sure where “her” came from. Maybe because he was threatening to screen cap Bina or Kitteh?

Oh, I know. It happens. I just found it amusing, because it inadvertently changed his gender to the one he hates most. Now THERE’s a fitting “punishment”!

alaisvex
alaisvex
9 years ago

Ah! Gotcha, Bina.

kittehserf - MOD
9 years ago

Typo mammoth!

Okay, typo elephant … “mammoth typing” seems to defy the rule about everything being on the internet.

http://media.tumblr.com/67e68fdd0a9469aea8305087e8766976/tumblr_inline_mpjmq1dtvP1qz4rgp.gif

However another universal law was upheld: in the results page of pictures of elephants, this turned up:

http://images.elephantjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Cute-photo-of-the-day-500×375.jpg

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

Eh, boner doesn’t always equate sexual arousal, much as vaginal fluids don’t always indicate arousal. Sometimes boners are random, and sometimes vaginal fluids just mean that you’re getting your period or ovulating or something random.

In my case, it’s usually “oops, full bladder, gotta go pee”.

Bina
Bina
9 years ago

KITTENS!!!!

>squeee<

brooked
brooked
9 years ago

That two headed kitten is adorbs.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
9 years ago

Look out behind you, furiously typing elephant! There’s an MRA with a spear sneaking up from the next cubicle!

alaisvex
alaisvex
9 years ago

Kittelphants!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Gotta love that a troll that seems to be all about raging has to sit here and watch our feminist man-hating devolve into squeeing over kitties.

Seriously, gotta love it!

*squees*

DJG
DJG
9 years ago

@ Nathan – Doubting their claims of having been with women is probably good for one as a cross-examiner. There may be a tricky side effect or two.

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