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Did devious feminists scare Janet "Judgy Bitch" Bloomfield's literary agent into dumping her? Or is she just terrible? [UPDATED]

Janet Bloomfield's agent exists, pursued by feminism. (Artist's conception.)
Janet Bloomfield’s agent exits, pursued by feminism. (Artist’s conception.)

UPDATE: Oh, the drama! Bloomfield now says her agent is back on board. Gosh, maybe she should have waited a few days before posting about how evil feminists scared him off? Nah. Much better to stir up a lot of shit about nothing, huh? Wow. Such public relations. So integrity.

Ah, sweet schadenfreude! Janet “Judgy Bitch” Bloomfield — A Voice for Men’s lying, harassing PR maven — has evidently been dumped by her literary agent.

According to Bloomfield, the agent she’d been working with for more than a year on a novel of some sort has decided to wash his hands of her. “Sadly,” she writes on her blog,

something has happened (I don’t know what) and my agent has decided to drop me as a client and forego any and all income the book might potentially generate. He does not wish to be named or acknowledged in any way.

Bloomfield, naturally, blames feminists. While admitting she actually has “no idea what spooked my agent,” the headline of her blog post declares that “a man decides feminists can ruin him and wisely opts to not engage.”

In her post, she expounds on this theory:

I do not question his decision at all. No one should have to sacrifice their career and livelihood.  I have always known resisting the tyranny of feminism would come with a price, but this is my battle and I do not require civilians to go down with me.

Huh. Bloomfield notes at the outset of her post that her agent was aware of her, er, “online activism” and had no issue with it. So what could have sent him scurrying off in another direction?

I mean, what on earth could it be?

Let’s look at some possibilities:

  1. Her novel is fucking awful.
  2. She’s a pain in the ass to work with.
  3. Her agent has discovered that her “activism” consists of gleefully libeling and harassing her opponents and has decided that just maybe he doesn’t want his name associated with such a terrible person.
  4. Her agent has read some of her blog posts — possibly including her multiple posts attacking rape victims, including the underage victims of Jimmy Savile, as “whores” — and has decided he doesn’t want his name associated with such a terrible person.
  5. Evil feminists have ordered the agent to stop representing her, even though she is a wonderful human being and her novel is totally awesome and a friend of hers has already created some “beautiful cover art.”
  6. All of the above, except that last one, because seriously.

I leave you to decide which of these options makes the most sense.

Oh, and while we’re talking schadenfreude, did I mention that my little blog gets more traffic than A Voice for Men?

H/T — r/againstmensrights

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weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Probably I’ll go see the Hobbit anyway, if only so I can cast off the shackles of Peter Jackson from about my chilblained feet.

He has commanded my attention for fifteen years, and I shall at last be able to say “No more!”

Don’t be so sure. I could see him doing a prequel that focused on Isildur or something.

Richard Smith
5 years ago

“I have an awesome literary agent. He knows all about me and my online activism, and he’s totally cool with it. Oh, you can’t meet with him now; he lives in Canada.”

Falconer
5 years ago

Don’t be so sure. I could see him doing a prequel that focused on Isildur or something.

Nnnggghh, make it end

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

I love how she excludes “genre fiction.” With one fell swoop she manages to erase women who write male protagonists such as Agatha Christie, Mary Shelley, J.K. Rowling, Anne Rice, P.D. James, Martha Grimes etc. etc. until she becomes that lone special snowflake.

Yeah, that was pretty self-aggrandizing. Men, with their lofty understanding, comprehend men AND women clearly, but women are too stunted and shallow to write believable men. Only JudgyBitch, alone among women can truly see and understand men as they really are: Gritty, terse, tense-shifting soldiers…

Eat lead, Fritz! screamed Nick Stiletto, spraying No Man’s Land with a river of testosterone-fueled hellfire as bullets have bounced off his stomach hair. Meanwhile, over in the mess hall, the men ate steak, potatoes, and whiskey and listening to songs about beards. I could feel them experiencing all the horror and joy and exhilaration and boredom and fear and courage and despair and invincibility and utter vulnerability of being at war, because I are have been omniscient.

Also this humblebrag:

PhD

Book

Blog

Three children

Husband

Home

I simply can’t do it all.

made me roll my eyes. Lots of women have families, houses, jobs, and projects. They go calmly about their business and don’t act like they deserve a medal for having multiple things going on at once. JudgyBitch seems to think she wins the Amazeballs Trophy for showing up at life.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

How I picture Judgy’s husband (or anyone else who has to deal with her on a regular basis) when she fires off one of her salvos:

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

If he existed at all I wonder how much money she paid this con man up front?

Oooh, I like this option! Con man rips her off and disappears.

Given her own description of the thing, no real agent would have taken it on after reading a sample anyway.

As for her “few women” schtick – ha. I’ve written a full novel with male protagonists and it’s actually been read, reviewed and enjoyed by people who didn’t know me at all. And there was a war in it. And Ebil Women (or at least, women who were political opponents of the protagonists). So I’m way ahead of Ms Incompetent Bore in the special snowflake rankings.

::farts in JB’s general direction::

katz
5 years ago

I agree with everyone who says it was probably a predatory agent. That explains both how she managed to snag him and why he vanished.

Oh, and add me to the list of nonexistent women who have written novels about men during wartime.

Miss Andry
5 years ago

Eat lead, Fritz! screamed Nick Stiletto, spraying No Man’s Land with a river of testosterone-fueled hellfire as bullets have bounced off his stomach hair. Meanwhile, over in the mess hall, the men ate steak, potatoes, and whiskey and listening to songs about beards. I could feel them experiencing all the horror and joy and exhilaration and boredom and fear and courage and despair and invincibility and utter vulnerability of being at war, because I are have been omniscient.

That’s amazing, Buttercup >_<

Now we need a sample paragraph about shaving with chainsaws and riding grizzly bears into combat while blaring a heavy metal rendition of "Hall of the Mountain King," before heading back to their base to play video games without any smelly girls around because #GamerGate.

katz
5 years ago

Her novel sounds like it was written by Guy In Your MFA.

https://twitter.com/GuyInYourMFA

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

HA, ha:

Guy In Your MFA @GuyInYourMFA · 5h 5 hours ago

Women writers, don’t write male protagonists, ESPECIALLY not first person. You’ll just never be able to capture the nuances of our thinking.

Katz, I think you’re right. Only Guy here is obviously satire. But his advice is sound, at least as pertains to JudgyBore.

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

I want Buttercup’s novel to be published now. Because genius. Also beard songs.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

That account was hilarious and I promptly followed it.

Nathan Hevenstone
5 years ago

And true to form, I didn’t just write a novel – I was a complete asshole about it. I have combined present perfect and simple past tenses in a way that makes grammar Nazis go full bore Third Reich, but that perfectly imitates the way the tenses are used in spoken English. It’s in the first person, with multiple narrators and a fractured narrative. Sometimes the narrators change from one sentence to the next, and the narrative fractures from one paragraph to the next. My main protagonists are both men, and the story is set during wartime. Oh yeah, I have an omniscient narrator, too.

Dear god. And she’s proud of that? At least I know I’m a terrible writer (I’d say I’m not inflicting it on anyone else, but I’m trying my hand on a Doctor Who fanfic over at fanfiction.net, because there are things I want the Doctor to do, including meet and fight Slenderman, which is what I’m leading up to… eventually… if this first try at it works out decently, anyways, and I’m already having trouble because his two new companions are Irish and I’m having trouble with that).

Think about that. When men write, they very commonly write female protagonists. From Anna Karenina to Madame Bovary to Lispeth Salander to Hester Prynne, men have always written deeply nuanced, fully realized, fully human women.

Women tend to write other women. Outside of genre fiction, they rarely write male protagonists.

So it’s unusual to have a woman write not just one, but two male protagonists.

She does not live in this reality. I know it’s already been said here, but I just need to repeat it. There is no way in hell she lives in this reality.

I’d day she must live in the Twilight Zone, but I feel like Rod Serling (seemingly a Social Justice Warrior of his time) would be disgusted by her.

Nathan Hevenstone
5 years ago

I’d day

edit edit edit edit edit edit edit

Should be “I’d say”… 🙁

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

@Miss Andry

Now we need a sample paragraph about shaving with chainsaws and riding grizzly bears into combat while blaring a heavy metal rendition of “Hall of the Mountain King,” before heading back to their base to play video games without any smelly girls around because #GamerGate.

Add in Abraham Lincoln, and you’ve got yourself a feminist historical novel!

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

I bet Abraham Lincoln knows some really good beard songs, too.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
5 years ago

I’d day

edit edit edit edit edit edit edit

Should be “I’d say”… 🙁

It’s not a typo. It’s gritty realism, perfectly imitating the way keyboards are used in typed English. Publish that shit. I know just the publisher…

tiko72
tiko72
5 years ago

I hope she somehow gets the book published. Just think, a literary equivalent of ‘The Room’.

” Oh, hi whore”

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Nope, she’s off the main track and on a reality side-spur of her very own, possibly derailed at the end of it.

I feel sorry for her, a bit…though she’s really malignant, she’s also really unhappy.

In her case though, sharing is not caring.

bodycrimes
5 years ago

I’ll try the generous interpretation:

Her agent was real. He really was a ‘big New York agent’. He spent his precious time helping her write and rewrite her literary work until it was highly polished and lovely. Then he sent it out.

It was so good, a big publisher called it on ‘the edge of greatness’.

Sadly, it wasn’t quite what they wanted. Nor what any of the Big Five wanted.

Alas, owing to the constrained publishing environment we now live in, nobody was able to take this work that – they all agreed – was very, very good.

With nobody credible left to send it to, the agent had to bail. Unable to bear the pain of dealing with yet another disappointed, very talented author, he cut her off.

This scenario DOES happen. Maybe it happened to her.

It probably didn’t, of course. Based on a quick read of her blog posts, she seems to specialise in flat, one-note writing that doesn’t suggest great literary abilities.

In any case, I would plump for her actual writing torpedoing her, rather than her political affiliations.

Jenny (@dontgiveah00t)

Yikes. Yup, I’m in agreement with everyone else – we’re either looking at

1) a publisher from one of those dodgy places that will publish your book no matter how bad it is and make you pay all costs, who then ran when they realized they were dealing with someone willing to libel and they didn’t want to open up that legal can of worms
or
2) she never had a publisher and this is a step on the road to getting her book crowdfunded

Of course, there’s no reason 1) can’t be correct and then she defaults to 2) to try and get the book published anyway.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

I failed at linking.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

I’d love to see a dramatic reading of her novel. I imagine it being alot like watching Dark Place.

bodycrimes
5 years ago

I took a quick look at her blog. She was jumping up and down in September that her agent was about to send out her manuscript. Three months later, she’s been dumped.

So maybe she really did have an agent who sent out the manuscript and couldn’t sell it, and who then dumped her. It does happen.

Though apparently the ‘big New York agent’ has just picked her up again.

Whatever. Can’t wait to click ‘read inside’ on Amazon when it finally comes out (in whatever form) – and then click it shut.

Snood
Snood
5 years ago

Women don’t write about men in war books? Lauren Hillebrand might disagree with that.

Snood
Snood
5 years ago

*mutters to self* Oh great. First post out of lurkdom and I made a typo. Um, LAURA Hillenbrand.

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

Lea – I’d love to hear sarumanangry read it. It would be Liquid Fucking Gold!

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

::waves:: Hi, Snood! Have a Welcome Package!

GrumpyOldMan
5 years ago

Yes, a person who can’t stay coherent for 140 characters is going to write a publishable book.

Shalimar
Shalimar
5 years ago

Anne Coulter makes millions insulting democrats in topical political works. There is a huge audience for that. I’m not sure even Coulter with her celebrity could get her agent to sell the kind of novel Bloomfield is writing.

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

GrumpyOldMan – maybe she was encouraged by Dawkins’ example. /snark

Tracy
Tracy
5 years ago

@Bina lol! Perfect.

So I glanced at her blog to find out more about the book thing, and saw that

I am making a video, which will be published later today, in which I will do what none of my little trolls could manage: I will doxx myself.

And I am confuzzled. Is her real identity hidden? Like, at all?

Of course, I fully expect feminists to attempt to hold my husband responsible for my thoughts, which is hilarious, quite frankly.

Huh? Um… why would a feminist (or anyone) assume her thoughts were not her own? She literally has no idea what constitutes feminist thought, even basic ground-level 101 stuff (hint: feminism is the reason you can publish a novel under your own, female name! Woo!)

I wish my haters the best of luck. Tim is tenured professor of business at our local university, and his boss is 100% supportive of him and of me, quite frankly. Local police are aware of my situation, and I encourage trolls to pick up their phones and send me death threats. I won’t listen to them. But the police will.

Is she under some sort of threat? Or is she sort of… making herself into a victim here? Is this the ‘manufactured victimhood’ I hear so much about masquerading as ‘come n’ getme hataaaaahs’ bravado? My head just asploded. My narrative just fractured. My tenses just shifted midsentence. “I am confused” she said and hugs a kitten while a sip of her tea she took.

Snood
Snood
5 years ago

Thanks for the Welcome Package, Kittehserf! An avatar must be found, yes. 🙂

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

Ya welcome, Snood!

Now for the really truly Mammoth initiation … being devoured by the Blockquote Monster! Muaahahahahaha!

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

David’s kitties are Teh Academics! (Or should that be Acatemics?)

We are not worthy …

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

@David But are local police aware of your situation?

katz
5 years ago

My cat Pantz is a tenured professor of Fluffiness at the University of Chicago (for Cats).

Isn’t that the Mewniversity of Chicago?

kittehserf
kittehserf
5 years ago

katz, LOL!

I wonder if “the police are aware of her situation” translates to “Oh god, Sarge, that creepy weirdo is on the phone again, what do I do now?”

katz
5 years ago

I liked “I won’t hear them, but the police will.” Is the police department screening her calls for her?

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

My nickname is really Bina. And I love kitties. Love, love, LOVE them.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

@kitteh – I know, it’s not like police did much to track down ACTUAL death threats and harassment directed at Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn (which makes it extra disingenuous when JudgyBitch simpers, “No one should have to sacrifice their career and livelihood”). What makes her think she’s the exception?

Still, I’d love to read her local police blotter.

Dec. 22 – A local woman reported that she runs a controversial blog that might attract disagreeable or kooky emails. Police advised her they are aware of the situation.

Tracy
Tracy
5 years ago

@David my cat Nemmy is an RCMP Staff Seargeant (Royal Cat Misandrist Pawleece), so if you send the haters my way.

Tracy
Tracy
5 years ago

(the haters put that erroneous ‘if’ in there)

GrumpyOldMan
5 years ago

” Local police are aware of my situation, and I encourage trolls to pick up their phones and send me death threats. ”

Why would Gamergaters be sending her death threats? I thought she was on their side.
Why would ANYONE send her death threats? Assuming one of her enemies were into that sort of thing, (1) she’s not worth the trouble and (2) to the extent that anyone pays her any attention, she’s worth more to her enemies alive and tweeting.

Obviously this is nothing more than a play for publicity. Yes, Janet, keep right on spouting nonsense — please, please, please do.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Still, I’d love to read her local police blotter.

Dec. 22 – A local woman reported that she runs a controversial blog that might attract disagreeable or kooky emails. Police advised her they are aware of the situation.

“Local woman with shitty blog calls police complaining of anticipated threatening e-mails. Staff sergeant heard to say ‘Oh lord, not that Janet Bloomfield again! Please stop taking that moron’s calls, we have better things to do than listen to her yammerings all night.'”