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Red Pillers agree: "If she did something sexually with an ex that she refuses to do with you, drop her."

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Attention ladies who have sex with men! The sex you are having now is a crime against the hypothetical man or men you will have sex with in the future. At least according to some Red Pill douchebags.

Yesterday, you may recall, we looked at a bizarre and nasty post by pickup guru Roosh Valizadeh that argued, among other things, that all women who aren’t virgins are essentially “soft cuckolding” their future husbands. Because, evidently, any man who marries a woman not only owns her in the present; he retroactively owns her past self as well.

Today, in Reddit’s Red Pill subreddit, we find a fellow called redpilltom making a very similar – if slightly less extreme – argument about women and their sexual pasts.

In a post titled “Never date a woman who won’t do sexual things with you that she did with her other partners,” redpilltom argues that if a woman ever agreed to any sexual act in the past she owes it to you as well.

[I]f you ever, and I mean ever, find out that she did something with an ex that she refuses to do with you, drop her. Drop her fast and drop her hard. This goes from giving it up on X number of dates, to certain sexual acts that you want to do, to threesomes, to the frequency of sex.

Yep. As redpilltom sees it, if a woman says yes to anal sex with one man, she’s obliged to say yes to every future partner who wants anal. To refuse would be a deep insult to whoever she’s dating – and evidence that she sees her current partner as the simpering “beta” in the Red Pill catchphrase “Alpha fucks, Beta bucks.”

It is not only the #1 sign of being on the losing end of the AF/BB relationship, but it screams “Oh, well I felt I needed to impress and be good to them, but you seem easy enough that I don’t need to put in effort.” Do yourself a favor and move on to a woman who sees you as equal or better to the men who used to fuck her. Don’t settle for being second best.

It’s not as if what she wants matters at all in this equation. As redpilltom and his fellow Red Piller see it, sex isn’t something that women desire or enjoy — except with hunky alphas. It’s something that women have in their possession – and which non-alpha men have to get from them, by hook or by crook.

And if for whatever reason, good or bad, a woman “gave” a man in her past a certain sex act, she can’t change her mind and refuse to “give” it to you.

For the women who may be getting furious reading this, just imagine what it was like if you knew your boyfriend was rich.

Oh dear. This can’t be going anywhere good. Red Pillers regularly denounce women as “whores” and “golddiggers” who trade (their) sex for (men’s) money – at least when it comes to betas with bucks. But Red Pill dudes themselves see sex as essentially an economic transaction.

Imagine that he always brought his ex’s out on really nice vacations, nice house, bought them really nice gifts, treated them like princesses, etc. But he refused to do any of that with you, he wanted to be frugal with you even though he has more than enough money to treat you. Wouldn’t you feel a little bit weird about it? Wouldn’t you question why you were different, why he didn’t care to treat you the same? Why the sudden change?

I don’t know, maybe he’s older and wiser and realized that he was spending too much money and driving himself into debt? Maybe he got tired of an ex who only “rewarded” him with sex when he spend a lot of money on her? Or maybe his ex got tired of him trying to buy sex with money.

Hell, maybe he realized that the whole “sex for money” equation is an unhealthy basis for a romantic relationship?

In a followup comment, redpilltom makes clear he has no interest in hearing what the woman has to say about any of this.

ForbiddenFruit420 13 points 14 hours ago   What if she doesn't want to do it with you because she didn't enjoy it with her ex?      permalink     save     report     give gold  [–]redpilltom [S] 37 points 14 hours ago   That's something that's a bit more delicate and requires a bit more context. "I tried anal with my ex but stopped him because I didn't like it" is different than "I used to do it all the time with my ex, but didn't really like it". The context in the first was "I didn't like how it felt so I stopped" and the second was "I didn't really care for it, but he loved it so I did it for him". Overall it doesn't carry the same weight as the "I'm not that kind of girl anymore" BS that the post is more about, but it is a huge red flag and you should keep your eye out for more signs you're getting strung along.  And, of course, women lie up and down about their sexual history. If a woman tells you she only tried something once briefly but hated it, it's pretty likely that she did it multiple times and loved it in the context of an alpha guy who gave her more tingles than you.
Red Pill dudes, if you’re so deathly afraid of becoming a beta shelling out bucks for sex that alphas get for free, maybe you should stop seeing sex as an essentially economic transaction in which the desires of women – or at least their desire for anything but money – counts for nothing.

But in the meantime if you do decide to break up with a woman because she won’t have anal sex with you like she did in her college days – or whatever – you’re actually doing her a giant favor. Because no one deserves to be stuck in a relationship with someone like you.

H/T — r/thebluepill

 

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Michelle C Young
5 years ago

And OF COURSE she’s lying! Of course! Women always lie about everything, and especially sex.

Grrrrr!

alaisvex
alaisvex
5 years ago

Don’t be a tool. 99.9% of time a girl says she was traumatized or had a bad experience, it is not legit trauma aka PTSD.

http://media3.giphy.com/media/XagLOltC8WuR2/200_s.gif

Also she should be able to get over that shit.

http://media2.giphy.com/media/iUJrcUATzeELu/giphy.gif

If she really is traumatized and “can’t” do what you want, she’s damaged goods, a broken woman. Next her. Doen’st mater whether it’s “her fault”.

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/281akc8.gif

http://media3.giphy.com/media/AT631VU1Fw208/giphy.gif

http://media.giphy.com/media/Gaho6ruqntphS/giphy.gif

In my experience, all women like anal just fine, as long as you build up enough attraction, and use lube.

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@ceebarks

“if I had a boyfriend who used to spend loads of money on previous girlfriends but who didn’t on me I would

Say, darn tootin’! That money gets invested, so that we can be secure of our future. We can save up for special things, now and again, but too much, and they won’t be special, and I’d like to be able to afford to retire before I’m 100, anyway.

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@Cuddlesquid

Still, it’s nice to imagine one of these guys encountering the logical loophole and ending up demanding to call their girlfriend “Mistress” because he doesn’t want to seem like less of an “alpha”. 😀

OH! I would just LOVE to see that! Dude writes into one of these threads bragging about how he TOTALLY alpha dogged his woman into tying him to the bed and doing X, Y, and Z that she used to do with those “beta bucks” she used to date.

Of course, they’d pile on him and tell him that no “real man” ever takes the submissive role. EVER.

Although, I understand that it is highly common for a male submissive to be a real mover and shaker in “real life,” such as a CEO or some other high-powered type, who craves the submission in his sex life as an antidote for all that overwhelming responsibility. Just as dominatrixes can be quite meek and submissive in the rest of their relationship, saying “yes, dear” in the living room, and “kiss my feet” in the bedroom.

Because people are complex.

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@wwth – thanks for reading that thread so I don’t have to. I’m already burned out by reading Roosh’s other posts.

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@Amnesia

Why stop there, red pillers? If she refuses to eat a food you know she’s eaten before (even if it made her sick to her stomach or she only did it on a dare) force her to eat it again! Demand that she rewatch her least favorite movie with you (as long as she watched it once, it’s fair game).

It just won’t do to half-ass being a completely irredeemable asshole. Have some pride.

And if she won’t eat the food because she had an allergic reaction to it, went into anaphylactic shock and had to be hospitalized, well, she’s just damaged goods, a broken woman, and you should NEXT her, even if it isn’t “her fault.”

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@baroncognito

LOL! Salad tongs!

alaisvex
alaisvex
5 years ago

@Michelle

I’m actually hung up on the fact that he thinks that men regularly buy nice houses for their girlfriends or that a girlfriend would expect it. I mean, if I was dating a guy who bought his ex a house but wasn’t going to buy me one, I’d assume that (a) it was because I already one and/or (b) he realized that shelling out that much money for a potentially short-term relationship was risky.

Also, I love how this guy can’t even imagine the idea that a woman might have specific things that she wants sexually, beyond having a man who’s, er, Alpha and “dominates” her into doing whatever he wants because he’s, er, “built attraction.” Seriously, when he’s trying to explain it to women, he can’t even come with something like, “Imagine that you found out that your boyfriend let his ex-girlfriend sit on his face, but he won’t let you sit on his face” or “Imagine that you found out that your boyfriend used to make an effort to last long with his ex-girlfriend, but he won’t do that for you” or something.

Finally, before I actually got more male opinions on the subject, I used to think, based on the internet, that all straight guys really wanted anal and were really, really into blow jobs, more so than PIV or anything else. Then, when I actually started hearing more men talk honestly about the subject, I realized that a lot of guys aren’t even really interested in anal, and some are actively turned off by the idea. Granted, other guys that I know are apparently really into it, but it’s not a universal thing by any means. Hell, I even met a guy who didn’t really like getting head. It just didn’t get him off like PIV or anal did. It’s like the pillocks can’t comprehend men having different tastes. Either that, or they’re only really into fellatio and anal sex because they believe that it’s degrading to women. They’re not into it because they actually find it pleasurable.

…Actually, that sums up the redpill view of sex in general. They’re only really into it because they believe that it’s degrading to women, not because they actually find it pleasurable.

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@alaisvex – I love your gifs!

I’m not good at gifs, so I always find them impressive.

saphy
saphy
5 years ago

So pill-bro, if a lady has NEVER had sex with her previous romantic partners is she then obliged to do the same for you? You know, to keep it all fair and square so that all of her partners get the same sexual experience?

alaisvex
alaisvex
5 years ago

Thanks, Michelle!

I couldn’t find the words to describe the outrage that I felt over that particular comment, so I just used gifs instead. Picture worth a thousand words and all.

Anyway, I also have to wonder why, if this guy’s girlfriend supposedly love [insert random sex act here] so much and her partner wants to do it, what exactly does she gain by denying it to him? She’s denying herself a chance to do something that she actually likes, and she’s giving her redpill boyfriend something else that he can bother her about.

ej
ej
5 years ago

The only context under which I can imagine a partner’s sexual history being relevant is if they say “You know, in the past, I’ve done *this* and I quite enjoyed it and I was wondering if we could try *this*.”

Agreed! My boyfriend is more experienced than I am, so I’ve asked some general questions about what he has done and enjoyed. By no means did I want every, single, little detail, but it’s important to know what your partner likes and wants.

Of course, our relationship is built on trust and mutual respect, two concepts MRAs don’t seem to understand. I know that I can say no to things I don’t like or am not ready for and, if I do say no to something, he’s not going to force or pressure me into it.

In other news, I’m going home for Christmas tomorrow! Hooray!

contrapangloss
5 years ago

Ej, me too! Home home home!

Also, still totally reading red pillers as red pliers. Dunno why.

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@contrapangloss

That’s better than how I read it. I read it as RPers, with an a stuck in there, too.

I’d much rather read about hardware.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

I guess the possibility that the reason the person doesn’t want to do (whatever) again is that they found out they didn’t like it the first time isn’t worth consideration? Because once a woman has done something sexual she’s never allowed to say no to it again, those are the bro rules.

Shaenon
5 years ago

So if a woman has ever kicked this charmer in the nuts, I can kick him in the nuts too, right? Otherwise it’d be a personal insult to me.

There’s something very special about a group of guys whose high bar for bedroom performance is to cause “not legit trauma aka PTSD”… and they’re not 100% sure they can clear that.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

There’s also the possibility that the girlfriend did X with a previous partner because previous partner was really good at X, but current redpill partner is really horrible at it and makes it uncomfortable and awkward, so she’d really rather not.

Or perhaps X was her special “thing” with previous partner and it reminds her too much of him.

Really, though, she doesn’t have to have a reason. “No” is a complete sentence.

Because once a woman has done something sexual she’s never allowed to say no to it again, those are the bro rules.

That seems to be behind the whole “her sexual history is relevant to this rape investigation” mentality. Once a woman becomes a sex-haver, she is a sex-haver for all time. As a utilitarian object, that’s her function. To revoke or deny it means she’s “broken”, equivalent to a toaster that suddenly stops working. As with a toaster, these guys think any form of sex refusal is grounds to dump and “next” her.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

I’m guessing they’re also fans of the “if it isn’t working then kick it” school of appliance maintenance.

tinyorc
5 years ago

itsabeast:

“This goes from giving it up on X number of dates…” So a woman has to make a spreadsheet of how long it took to have sex with every guy she’s had sex with, and make sure it’s progressively less each time?

Of course. Also, it should be cross-referenced with an inventory of sexual act she has ever performed, including details of frequency and duration.

What, doesn’t every girl have one of these?

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

I start a stopwatch at the beginning of all my relationships so I know exactly when to have sex with them! It’s very handy; it would have been mortifying to forget and have to take the relationship as it develops, organically and so that all parties involved are comfortable with what’s going on.

Does anyone have an advice on the ettiquette of the order of sex acts I’m obligated to perform? Say, if I pegged my last boyfriend before going down on him, I’m supposed to follow the checklist in order, and therefore have to get out my strap on before we proceed to any other acts? It only seems fair, that way. /sarcasm

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

What, doesn’t every girl have one of these?

If anyone asks I lost my hard copy in the flood of 2013. Also my computer crashed wiping my Excel document. And then my dog ate my computer.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Make sure the redpiller’s cookie is exactly the same size that everyone else got, with the same number of chips, otherwise waaaaaah! If necessary, use measuring tape, a plumb line, and a laser-guided scalpel.

@cassandra – Only manginas would use a screwdriver and take the time to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it. If you want reliability, go with a submissive Japanese brand.

tinyorc
5 years ago

ceebarks:

I dunno, I think discussion of past experiences can be really bonding and fun but both people have to be pretty danged secure and mature for it not to turn into a disaster.

I agree! I’ve had conversations like this with a number of partners. We don’t get into the “who, when and where”, but I find that “I’ve tried this and I liked it” is usually a good starting point for learning more about each other’s preferences and limits. Particularly informative if one or both partners are kinky. It can also be a pretty hot conversation, but as you said, if anyone has any kind of insecurity around sex, it’s just awkward and difficult.

Cuddlesquid:

So what if one of these men somehow (hypothetically–let’s say the planets aligned and lightning struck the clock tower and, I don’t know, he managed to keep his dickishness hidden for a couple of dates) ended up with a sexual partner who admitted to him that she’d pegged an ex-boyfriend? Would he then, by this logic, be obligated to demand that she get out her strap-on for him as well? What if she had been with dudes who had liked her to step on their tender parts? Would he have to demand that she do the same?

Hahaha, I love this! “Yeah, I used to let my ex go down on me for hours on end. Hop to it, alphadog!”

alaisvex:

Anyway, I also have to wonder why, if this guy’s girlfriend supposedly love [insert random sex act here] so much and her partner wants to do it, what exactly does she gain by denying it to him? She’s denying herself a chance to do something that she actually likes, and she’s giving her redpill boyfriend something else that he can bother her about.

Ah, but in Redpill land, women don’t actually enjoy any sex acts – sex is just a bargaining chip they use to get diamonds and bonbons out of men. Because sex acts are a commodity that women own, it’s to be expected that they can withold them at any time for no reason at no personal cost to themselves.

Mikki
Mikki
5 years ago

“Women lie up and down about their sexual history.” Uh probably because if we’re honest about it we get slut shamed by you assholes, no matter how many guys we’ve actually been with??

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

Mikki: if it’s more than 0 guys, we’re sluts. If it’s 0, we’re lying sluts. Can’t win.

marci
5 years ago

So TMI time:

My partner is not willing to do certain things sexually, one is anal. Luckily for him, I am more interested in him as a human being than what he can do for me with his genitals.

See, I had been in relationships with 3 other guys prior to meeting him and they had all wanted to “try” anal at some point. I tried it with them all, more than once. It was never terribly painful, but it didn’t feel good and it did kinda gross me out.

So it was strange to me that once we became sexual, he never once brought it up. Eventually out of curiosity I asked him about it. He didn’t want to say much about it but basically from what he did say, I think he had a very unpleasant (possibly traumatic) experience with an ex. He said it hurt, even with lots of lube, and it grossed him out.

Now since I didn’t really like anal sex this revelation may not have been as big of a problem as someone who did enjoy it. But he also has a thing with fingering, which I do very much enjoy. I can understand his problem with it, he has very thick fingers and works with his hands (mechanic), so often they are sore as well. He feels clumsy and anxious about hurting me. I don’t ask him to do it because I would rather do without that then “make” him do something he feels uncomfortable with.

But I guess because I’m the woman, being an unselfish and empathetic partner is expected. I keep forgetting that there are separate standards for men and women according to these fools. I just can’t imagine ever treating the person I love any other way. It’s sickening to me that there are women out there who have had the misfortune of running into such gross assholes.

tinyorc
5 years ago

sunnysombrera

If anyone asks I lost my hard copy in the flood of 2013. Also my computer crashed wiping my Excel document. And then my dog ate my computer.

Funny thing – I actually kind of technically do have a spreadsheet of this nature.

I have a period tracker app that I use to track my (extremely long and irregular) cycle and it has been a godsend, because before that I basically spent at least a week every couple of months being like OMG DEFINITELY PREGNANT (despite the fact that I am crazy careful about protection).

This app also let’s you flag when you have been “intimate” and because I’m a tad obsessive about my sexual health, I usually add a quick note about the type of birth control used, the acts performed, etc. (It also gives you the option to note all your period symptoms with fun little icons for acne, bloating, cramps, back pain, headaches, fatigue, cravings, etc! – I use this function LIBERALLY.)

This had gone a bit off-topic, but I would highly recommend this app to anyone who has periods. Pre-Period Tracker, I would go to the doctor and she’d be like “When was your last period?” and I’d be like “Ummmm…” and she’d be like “OK, well how long is your cycle?” and I’d be like “…uhhh…” and she’d be like “When did you last have sex?” and I’d be like “UMMMMM…”

But now I can just be like “Hang on, doctor! Let me just check my app and I can give you exact dates!”

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

tinyorc : Well whaddaya know. Glad you’re able to keep track of things!

I don’t actually have a sexual history so I have no need for a log. Although according to the RPers I am probably a lying whore who has done all sorts of sex with all sorts of men and I’m just trying to cover up my sluttiness. Totally into anal, apparently, because as a woman nothing I say is valid or truthful.

kittehserf
5 years ago

marci – adding to the TMI and man not into anal: I was happy to try, he’s not interested, and he’s done it before and enjoyed it. Do I care? Nope, it was merely curiosity. I don’t think he associates it with sex with women, and I know he doesn’t associate it with me.

Actually the whole thing of getting hung up on a particular sex act or acts is pretty skeevy for me, at least when it reduces the other person to being the means, not the end. I really don’t give a damn what my beloved and I do: what matters is that it’s us doing it, and it’s not having sex, it’s making love, regardless of mood, method, anything. That’s something these moron wankboys will never, never understand.

Re periods – I just write ’em on my calendar. Which, with perimenopause being an aaarghfuckinggoddamnnuisance, means a lot of scribbling these days.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

I’ve never kept track of my periods because I can usually feel when they’re about to happen. On the stuff that one did before issue, why would you even want to do something with your partner that they’re not into? I feel like that’s the fundamental “wow, sex with these guys would be miserable because they just don’t get it at all” issue here.

kittehserf
5 years ago

I think their desire to do X act (which they’ve doubtless seen in porn) is increased by the woman’s reluctance. These men are all about rape, after all. But yeah, I can’t imagine wanting to press an act on anyone I cared about, particularly when we’re talking something as intimate as sex, and most particularly when it’s an act with the potential to hurt. That’s another thing, of course: the physical proximity is the only sort of intimacy in it for these scumbags, and caring about anything except their genitals is an alien concept.

marci
5 years ago

I get the Depo shot because my periods were so out of control they made my life totally miserable. Now I don’t get one at all and it is a welcome relief. Though I have been told that not all women who use the shot have those results with it. Some still get a period, or even have more problems. I guess I got lucky and found a BC that actually makes my life 1000 times nicer.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

Depo is so weird, some people it seems to work fine for and for others it’s hellish.

Ellesar
5 years ago

Really the only way to deal with a man like this is to say that ALL her previous partners were OBSESSED with cunnilingus!

Tyra Lith
Tyra Lith
5 years ago

I think it’s useful to discuss with your partner what they have and haven’t done sexually in the past – IF he/she is comfortable with it – to find out what they did or did not enjoy/may want to try eventually and so on.

My ex used guilt trip me into sex acts I didn’t want and didn’t feel comfortable with. I was very insecure and inexperienced at that time; if a guy tried that with me now it totally wouldn’t work but when I was a teenager it did.
when I told my current partner at the begin of our relationship about this, he was appalled by my ex’s behaviour and expressed that he thought it absurd to just take certain sex acts for granted and to pressure someone into it.
ironically, that made it possible for me to build a lot of trust and sexual confidence I never had with my ex, and after a while I actually wanted to experiment more. so we ended up having a lot of fun trying out a lot more sexually than I did before. this is only possible because I know that if I don’t want to do something/want to stop doing something, my no will be respected.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

These guys keep saying that women do not enjoy sex with them and I believe them. They’re horrible, hateful bigots and shhhhhhitty lovers. They know women enjoy sex with other men. They just can’t figure out why. I doubt they ever get to dump anyone. I have a hunch that these sacks of shit are the ones getting dropped as quickly as possible.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

if a guy tried that with me now it totally wouldn’t work but when I was a teenager it did.

That is why they try to go after inexperienced teens.

dashapants
dashapants
5 years ago

This reminds me of that dude on RoK who wrote a response article about Troy Singleton’s attempts to criminalize lying to get sex into “sexual assault by fraud” which is a ridiculous proposition easily refutable by the fact that sex is not a contract or a financial transaction, but of course the douchebag collective cannot use that argument, because they’ve been arguing the opposite since forever, so this RoK contributor is reduced to the sad blatant honesty of quite literally saying “if we cannot lie to women, then how will we ever get laid?”

Howard Bannister
5 years ago

Ah, but in Redpill land, women don’t actually enjoy any sex acts – sex is just a bargaining chip they use to get diamonds and bonbons out of men. Because sex acts are a commodity that women own, it’s to be expected that they can withold them at any time for no reason at no personal cost to themselves

It’s in that quote at the top; there’s a difference between ‘tried but stopped because I didn’t like it,’ and ‘did it all the time but never liked it.’ What’s the difference? The difference is that if she can tolerate doing it all the time but doesn’t like it, obviously she should tolerate it some more.

The idea that maybe we should focus on the things SHE enjoys? Hmm, no, things she enjoys? That’s a myth! A myth!!!!!!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

They should just write DON’T FUCK ME, I’M USELESS IN BED on their foreheads with a sharpie, it would yield the same results as their usual approach but be more efficient for everyone involved.

duckbunny
5 years ago

From the Reddit thread:

If you are not a sex toy for your s/o (and he for you!!), your relationship is utterly worthless as a romantic entity.

Well. Um. Okay. So. I disagree.
My partners are not sex toys. I have sex toys, and I greatly prefer my partners to my toys. Toys, you see, don’t have personalities. Toys cannot look on me with desire, nor react to anything I do, nor take initiative. You can’t collaborate with a toy, or laugh with a toy, or cuddle sleepily with a toy when neither of you want to admit that it’s morning.
Even for having sex, a partner is better than a sex toy, and a romantic partnership is about so much more than sex.

sorceressensorcelled
sorceressensorcelled
5 years ago

“Wouldn’t you feel a little bit weird about it? Wouldn’t you question why you were different, why he didn’t care to treat you the same? Why the sudden change?”

Yeah, that’s what talking is for. You know, you ask questions, and the person you’re in a relationship with answers, then you’re clear on why things are happening the way they are… Guess he’s not familiar with this process, huh?

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@mikki

“Women lie up and down about their sexual history.” Uh probably because if we’re honest about it we get slut shamed by you assholes, no matter how many guys we’ve actually been with??

Or virgin-shamed, if we haven’t had sex, at all. Only HB10s are allowed to be virgins, you see. Anyone less than that gets mocked for being “not good enough” to get a partner.

A fat virgin? Well, of COURSE you’re a virgin. Who would want you? You didn’t have any choice in the matter. So, you’re still a slut, because you always wanted to be, if only some guy would have given you the chance, and how DARE you say no to anyone, you ungrateful whore?! Hey, YOU! I’m DOING YOU A FAVOR! Just spread your legs already, you filthy bitch!

And the lower your “number” on the SMV chart, the less effort they need to put into dating you. For example, some guys think that if you’re fat, the only effort they need to put into dating you is to find out your name before they demand sex. No actual dating required. And if you dare refuse, well, you don’t have the right to refuse, and they’ll have to “teach you your place.”

My life in high school makes so much more sense, now. I was dealing with MRAs. And here I thought they were just rapey jerks.

Yeah. Women can’t even break even with these guys, let alone win.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

duckbunny,
I just imagined a montage of me out to eat with a vibrator, taking a dildo to the movies or watching the kids open Christmas presents with a butt plug. Tee-hee. Oh the places my brain goes!

The dildo was wearing a little suit.

*laugh/snort* My sides hurt.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

Related to this and every other discussion about the manosphere, look what I found on the Guardian.

http://www.theguardian.com/science/head-quarters/2014/feb/25/internet-trolls-are-also-real-life-trolls

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Michelle C Young ,
Don’t forget that the same men then turn around and say that a fat woman with many partners is slutting it up because she has to to get any attention and that if she’s a freak in the sheets, it’s because she has to try extra hard to please a man because she’s such and ugo.

They just hate women and any excuse to hate women will do for them.

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@Ellessar

Really the only way to deal with a man like this is to say that ALL her previous partners were OBSESSED with cunnilingus!

Virgin or not, when I get married, I am TOTALLY stealing this line!

Marci – Your partner sounds wonderful!

Tinyorc – That app sounds wonderful!

Kitteh – Your marriage is wonderful, as always, and I’m a bit envious. But don’t worry. As soon as I have a bit of chocolate, I’ll be fine. 😉

On the topic of birth control, I knew a girl at college who had to take BC pills, due to her extremely irregular and heavy periods. This was a church-run school, and sex outside of marriage was grounds for immediate expulsion, so she had to tell her RA about the pills, and all, in case she was “caught” taking them. She was the only woman in the dorm with these pills.

Well, one day, she went to take her daily dose, and noticed that it was missing. Someone had stolen ONE pill from her!

When she told me about it, she sighed that it would mess her up for a few days to a week. But then she snorted and said that “someone is in for a rude awakening.”

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Cassandra,

“The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt.” (Sadly, some people indeed answered these questions with a “yes”).

This quote stood out to me because it is something I’m familiar with. When we did critter fostering it was strange to me that people would get a beautiful, friendly dog and just ruin it mentally and physically. If they didn’t want it, they could dump it Plenty of people do.

Pit bulls in particular seem like a popular target for abuse and neglect. I think it had something to do with accessibility due to overbreeding, but also about taking something sleek, mentally tough, naturally strong and loving and destroying it. Some people will just let horses starve to death even when they have plenty of money for feed. I think it is for the same reason. Some people are petty, cruel and ugly to the bone.

As a horror fan, it’s pretty obvious to me that this is the same reason torture porn and slasher flicks almost always feature young, vital people. Beautiful young women, especially get used to titillate in the goriest ways possible. It’s why the young, beautiful, wealthy and the athletic are often portrayed as deserving what they get. What they have is unattainable. They are unattainable. The more the character has to lose, the more some people get a sick thrill from watching it taken away. It’s a kind of twisted envy finding release.

I’m not remotely shocked to find out trolls think just that way about real human beings. They’re why humans are not my favorite species.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

One of the most disturbing things I’ve ever run across by accident was an interview with Eli Roth, Miike Takashi, and Guillermo Del Toro in which the three of them were laughing about how they made movies in which beautiful women are terrified and tortured as a way of getting revenge upon the pretty girls who wouldn’t date them in high school.

(From Miike and Roth this was not surprising in any way, but seeing Del Toro joining in? Yeah, that was an unpleasant surprise.)

I know I’ve said this before about MRAs and PUAs, but you need all the traits listed in the Guardian article plus frustrated sexual entitlement to make an MRA or a PUA. It’s why there aren’t many gay MRAs – there are plenty of gay men who have misogynistic attitudes towards women, but it takes that plus rage that the women you’re attracted to are allowed to say no to you to make an MRA, or a PUA.

Michelle C Young
5 years ago

@Tyra Lith

if a guy tried that with me now it totally wouldn’t work but when I was a teenager it did.

I think it is *this* more than anything about physical attractiveness that makes them pursue younger targets. It’s not really about women “hitting the wall” at 25 or what-have-you. It’s about women getting *wise* to their games and not responding according to their rules. They just use the excuse of “I didn’t want her, anyway,” sour grapes, to explain the fact that they don’t even bother with women who are experienced and self-assured enough to reject them.

ironically, that made it possible for me to build a lot of trust and sexual confidence I never had with my ex, and after a while I actually wanted to experiment more. so we ended up having a lot of fun trying out a lot more sexually than I did before. this is only possible because I know that if I don’t want to do something/want to stop doing something, my no will be respected.

Amazing how it works that way, isn’t it? Mature women really can be the best in bed, because they know better what they want, and feel secure going after it, as well as experimenting with new things, and if they are insecure in their relationship, they know enough to dump the guy and get another one who makes them feel secure.

Some years ago, when I was lonely and sad, I looked around at the various women I knew, and started really observing them. There were a LOT of unhappy women in relationships. There were also happy married women, and happy single women, and happy “it’s complicated” women. The one thing all these happy women had in common was that they did NOT throw themselves away on unfulfilling relationships, just so that they could have a man. I learned that it is better to be single and satisfied with what I have than to force myself to submit to some jerk, just to avoid being single. Pity dates and desperation hook-ups lead to no good.

Someday, I really, truly do hope to get married. But having been single for this long, I won’t give it up for just any old guy. I will only get married to a man who truly loves me, and is the sort of man that I can love in return. If it’s not real and not mutual, it’s not happening.

Accepting that philosophy has led to a lot more happiness, and a lot less envy and jealousy and fewer lonely nights.