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How A Voice for Men's Facebook memes inadvertently reveal the deep sexual insecurities underlying the misogyny of the Men's Rights movement

Detail of a perhaps inadertently revealing A Voice for Men meme
Detail of an unintentionally revealing A Voice for Men meme

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (And don’t worry that the PayPal page says Man Boobz.) Thanks!

From time to time I like to check in on the Facebook page for A Voice for Men, to see how that eminent men’s human rights organization’s program to advance the human man rights of human men through badly designed and even more poorly conceived graphic “memes” is going.

Well, I can report that this program is going, and going, and going, a bit like a famous battery-powered bunny.

Looking through them today, I couldn’t help but notice the weird sexual undertones — and overtones — of many of the memes, and realized that, while none of the memes tell us much about the world, they do, in an altogehter accidental way, offer some pretty interesting insights into the ids of those making and “liking” them on Facebook.

You don’t have to be a trained psychoanalyst to see the not-very-well-hidden straight male sexual insecurities that lie behind a large number of AVFM’s memes — both the ones they create themselves and the others that seem to have arrived on the AVFM page after being forwarded via email from someone’s cranky misogynistic uncle. Let’s take a look at some of them.

1) AVFMers have apparently convinced themselves that the history of mankind is the story of nice guys being nice to snooty women who won’t date them.

 

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2) The straight men who make up the bulk of AVFM’s audience are pretty much terrified of women.

 

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3) A lot of these guys seem to really enjoy fantasizing about women being forced into crappy jobs and/or sex work.

 

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4) One of AVFM’s meme makers, the fellow who goes by the name of “John Galt,” has trouble distinguishing between the real world and certain (perhaps unacknowledged) sexual fetishes he appears to be a little obsessed with.

 

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5) Straight cis male AVFMers hate fat women who don’t please their boners, and are angry at feminists for convincing at least some fat women not to hate themselves.

 

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6) These AVFMers evidently prefer women who are very young, very thin, and photoshopped into anatomically implausible proportions and positions. But they simultaneously hate these women for giving them boners.

 

(Slightly censored version of the AVFM original.)
Perfect woman, or photoshop disaster? (Slightly censored version of the AVFM original.)

 

8) AVFMers really, really hate male feminists — and pretty much every man who doesn’t hate and fear women like they dO — and not-very-subtly project their own sexual insecurities onto them.

 

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9) They also really, really, really hate me.

 

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But I think that’s probably because they’re jealous that I have that second pair of arms.

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davidknewton
davidknewton
9 years ago

David Mitchell and “are we the baddies?” come to mind once again for that Gothic typeface around the blood-smear logo. And the way that they bring up your weight rather than any views you have is very reflective of their attitude to women.

What do these people think of men who actually have successful relationships with women without treating them as roughly on par with a doormat? Are they (we) somehow defective as well?

Puddleglum
9 years ago

For 2, I love that they’re not only comparing two ridiculous concepts, but that neither is an actual picture. Like, the best example of puddle chivalry was a gif? Seriously? Plus, I love that I got to use the term ‘puddle chivalry’.

For #3a, they don’t seem to realize how many people with degrees end up in crappy jobs, it’s not gendered. I mean, when I was younger, the main ‘joke’ was about the number of guy philosophy majors working at gas stations (Joke originally told to me by a philosophy BA graduate working at a gas station).

For #3b, my main confusion was that, if you’re willing to do street-level prostitution (not a career known for it’s safety or luxurious nature), why would she be put off by a crappy shirt?

Puddleglum
9 years ago

Dammit, I meant 1, not 2.

Falconer
9 years ago

but if I were a burlesque star, my stage persona would be The Filthy Commie, making soviet sex puns and seductively peeling back an Iron Curtain to reveal myself in a skimpy uniform.

“As God is my witness, I never knew pickaxes could be so arousing.”

@WWTH:

Every man’s dream is to be a single father.

Oh GOD no.

Puddleglum
9 years ago

#2 kept reminding me of the funnies about meeting thebewilderness for lunch.

Falconer
9 years ago

Oh man, stardustfalling, that sounds horrible, and I am glad he’s out of your life.

Did you at least get the money back he stole? Probably not.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

What the hell? I just made a comment and it disappeared. It’s not in moderation or anything, it’s just gone. At least on my hand. It was a kind of long rant too!

I don’t have the will to write the whole thing out again.

The gist, supermodel Beverly Johnson has just admitted to being drugged by Bill Cosby
http://gawker.com/supermodel-beverly-johnson-says-bill-cosby-drugged-her-1669868882

Luckily she escaped, but she said this.

black men have enough enemies out there already, they certainly don’t need someone like [me], an African American with a familiar face and a famous name, fanning the flames.

It’s heartbreaking how little black women have mattered in anti-racism movements. It makes me so mad that there’s pressure on black women to sweep abusive and misogynistic behavior from black men under the rug. That racism is used as a silencing tactic against victims.

Fuck everything. I need a drink.

Moggie
Moggie
9 years ago

I think #1 is Lincoln asserting the right of the people to keep armed bears.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
9 years ago

You can keep your giant snail. For myself, the giant mollusc of choice is the flail snail!

And that picture made They Might Be Giants’ song “Snail Shell” run through my head.

A song which actually seems somewhat appropriate for MRAs dealing with cognitive dissonance. “I’d like to thank you for putting me back in my snail shell…”

Puddleglum
9 years ago

I think #1 is Lincoln asserting the right of the people to keep armed bears.

Snofle. Moggie for the win!

seraph4377
9 years ago

For #3b, my main confusion was that, if you’re willing to do street-level prostitution (not a career known for it’s safety or luxurious nature), why would she be put off by a crappy shirt?

They’re still complaining about the dude who thought a softcore porn shirt was a good idea to wear when he announced a landmark of science on national TV, and the fact that hostile environment sexual harassment is a thing. Trying to wring more coherence than that out of it is a lost cause.

Luzbelitx
9 years ago

For #3b, my main confusion was that, if you’re willing to do street-level prostitution (not a career known for it’s safety or luxurious nature), why would she be put off by a crappy shirt?

Maybe the message is “all women are whores and that’s why they don’t do STEM, but they blame it on teh poor menz’es shirts”

Puddleglum
9 years ago

@seraph4377, I guess it just boggles me that they think that shirt is going to turn someone doing street prostitution off of going to MIT.

Puddleglum
9 years ago

@Luzbelitx, that actually makes sense!

Falconer
9 years ago

@Jenora: TMBG are my jam.

katz
9 years ago

I’m pretty sure the message of 3b doesn’t go beyond “I want to see uppity women degraded and miserable.”

freemage
freemage
9 years ago

grumpyoldnurse | December 11, 2014 at 12:07 pm

After looking back, a bit, I’ve decided that #3 is actually the worst of this bad lot. It’s the way they imply that all female college/university students are sex workers. While I’m sure that is a thing for some people, the idea that any student at a ‘respectable’ school is prostituting herself to pay tuition seems like a misogynist sexual fantasy. It also plays into the ‘women get ahead with their weaponised sexuality’ thing they love to drone on about.

There’s an old cliche that most strippers/sex workers claim that they are trying to work their way through college, in an attempt to get male customers’ sympathy and thus, more tips. The claim is usually treated by misogynist douchebags as either laughable because of course sex workers can’t possibly be smart enough for college, or as a ‘hidden insight’ into women’s ‘real nature’–ie, that they’re actually all w****s.

In my experience from going to actual strip clubs years ago, the dancers are actually all excellent LARPers, who have adopted different personality archetypes so they stand out from one another, while catering to customer fantasies. ONE of these will frequently be, “Paying My Way Through College”. There will also be “Laid-back Hippie Chick”, “Dirty-talking Nasty Girl”, “Curvy Older Woman Who Was In Playboy When She Was Younger [date is always about 10 years prior]”. They stay in character, focusing their attention on the customer, who gets to pretend he really is the center of the universe for awhile.

So yeah, the whole ‘joke’ requires you to think that a male-created and -directed fantasy is somehow an insight into women’s realities. Pretty typical for these twits.

JM
JM
9 years ago

As always, I wonder, if the guys want to go their own way, refuse to get married, refuse to have anything to do with women…why don’t they? We do not live in a society where men are required to get married, and really there isn’t any punishment for a single unmarried male in today’s society. There is a tendency for unmarried men to have poor health outcomes, but this is something they can fix with regular visits to the Doctor. Even sex…you can find alternatives.

Go, be happy. We live in a society where you are free to do this, and everyone will be happy when you do it!

Drdg
9 years ago

Awful memes, awful messages.
Except #6, it`s confusing, because the written text I can totally agree with – sexual attraction and intimacy should`ve nothing to do with financial obligation, and I think it`s an important message (unfortunately there`s still a lot of otherwise decent people out there who still think that the man should pay, for everything). But why there`s a weirdly photoshopped young woman next to it? It just doesn`t make sense. I imagine that a picture of a happy couple in an inexpensive leisure activity, clearly enjoying themselves would be the best illustration for that message.

childrenofthebroccoli
childrenofthebroccoli
9 years ago

Back when I worked nights at the gas station, one of my regulars was a stripper who was using dancing to pay her way through community college. She liked to make small talk while she payed for her cigarettes and gas, and she’d always either be telling me about her job or about how she had a test in the morning. I haven’t seen her since I left that job, I hope she’s doing well.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

The thing is that I’ve been on the Universal Studios tour, so the Jaws image just makes me think that they’re suggesting that marriage is like a trip to a tacky theme park. Dude is certainly dressed appropriately.

sparky
sparky
9 years ago

What I got from meme #1 is that feminist history is fun and awesome and really brings historical figures to life, while MRA history is flat and two-dimensional and is extremely boring and full of cliches.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

Also the fact that they think “sign scrawled on the wall in blood” is a good way to convey “we are totes a serious human rights movement” will never stop being funny.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

Number two’s message is that men don’t have eyes. Feminists stole them, obviously.

gilshalos
9 years ago

Well, on the subject of jobs, a friend of a friend of mine was a double honours Maths/Physics grad with a first. He ended up driving a bus for a living…