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"Feminists lie about rape because it's a badge of honor," and other insights from the upside-down world of Men's Rights Redditors

Oopsy daisy.
Oopsy daisy.

You know how, in The Poseidon Adventure, the giant cruise ship gets flipped over by a huge wave and the passengers have to make their way through the upside-down ship to the bottom of the hull, which is now the top, in order to survive?

Well, the Men’s Rights subreddit is kind of like that. The only way to get upvotes is to look at everything upside-down.

See, e.g., this comment addressing the issue of rape, and why feminists allegedly lie about it:

5HourEnergyExtra 8 points 1 day ago       what motivates women and feminists to lie about rape  These are really very two different questions. Women can have any number of motivations. My own speculations are that they're peer pressured into calling it rape, ashamed something happened, want attention, want revenge, or something else. But the variance is enormous.  Feminists lie about rape because it's a badge of honor. Other feminists will come to them with open arms and love them forever. They also do it because it furthers he legitimacy of their movement. If any random room contains a woman who was raped then it helps the cause, even if they have to be that woman, and even if the woman in the next room is doing exactly the same thing.      lie about rape statistics on all fronts to set the bar for consensual sex so high no couple in a committed relationship meets it?  It validates their cause. Women have it pretty good nowadays. No violence, no discrimination in hiring, no discrimination in education, nothing bad really. They've got cat calling going against them but that seems less than spectacular. Whistle's don't hurt anyone; they're just annoying.  But, sexual violence (if and only if we pretend prisoners don't exist) is at least a little bit lopsided such that women have it worse. Moreover, it's actually very bad. So, they milk it for all its worth. To do this, you need to lie about statistics, stretch the definition as far as it goes, ignore prisoners (including the 63% who are there purely on time a woman wouldn't have gotten), and say it's the dominant force in our culture and proves patriarchy.      What is their agenda?  If they're not oppressed than feminism is gonners. Sexual violence is still such that if they bend the statistics, it sounds like they have it worse than men with respect to sexual violence. It's the last stronghold of feminism and they need to milk this one for all it's worth. If they can't do that, then they'll have to realize they aren't oppressed and watch people lose patience for them being unambitious in legal prospects, sitting out the draft, getting a free pass through the legal system, and so on. They'll lose their privilege.      What do they hope to achieve and who gets thrown under the bus in the process?  What they want is to be society's special little snowflakes who we love and care for who never have to do anything at all. We get thrown in prison, raped, killed, and have our lives destroyed to make this happen for them.      permalink     save     give gold  [–]5th_Law_of_Robotics 2 points 1 day ago   Nailed it. feminismlies2

Nailed it, indeed.

(I'd still eat them.)
(I’d still eat them.)

H/T — r/againstmensrights. For more “nailed it” memes, try Buzzfeed.

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andiexist
andiexist
5 years ago

I- I just can’t *even.*

Dude? People don’t randomly talk about rape. As in, nobody asks as part of casual conversation if someone was raped, and nobody just randomly volunteers that information.

These people, once again, do not know how conversations work.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

If these guys ever ran across a group of female friends doing the post-lay roundup and group discussion of whether or not the men just hooked up with are worth seeing again on the Monday after a fun weekend they’d be so confused.

rjjspesh
5 years ago

GOD these people are such assholes.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Because we can’t possibly be telling the truth about getting raped.

Also, only stranger rape is real rape, meaning 70% of rapes aren’t real rapes.

And if we are attacked by a stranger, it was caused by something we did.

That’s why they keep telling us not to run around with revealing dresses in the vicinity of shrubbery while drunk at night in strange alleys or something.

/sarcasm

Seriously, though? The MRA peeps want us to accept that some men are sexual assault victims. Ok, yeah, I know that. I know it happens far more often than it gets reported…for reasons why boys and men shut up, witness the reaction to Shia Leboeuf…
( I imagine that whole thing just…bulldozed right over him, as in he had a ” freeze ” reaction. Really fricken’ common in sexual assaults)
Anyway…
It takes a lot of flaming hypocrisy to insist, on the one hand, that society recognize male sexual victimization, while at the same time trying to deny how common rape is for females.

Such peaches, those guys are.

lacerta viridis
5 years ago

@cassandrakitty Yeah, I think it’s kind of telling that these guys always seem so convinced that all women always bitterly regret all sex afterwards. It’s like the idea of women enjoying sex and being comfortable with that is completely incomprehensible to them.

@andiexist Seriously. Their idea of how women talk and interact and just generally exist is so completely bizarre and disconnected from reality, I just… fucking can’t.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

And now I’m trying to picture them attempting to write a lady sitcom, specifically the aformentioned post-game breakdown over lunch/cocktails. Can you imagine the dialogue they’d come up with?

dudeinthewoods
5 years ago

Accepting the “fight, flight or freeze” explanation interferes with their manly alphas schitck.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

This just makes my skin crawl. I’m pretty well convinced that the guy who wrote that screed is a rapist. He’s just convinced himself otherwise.

schwadevivre
5 years ago

@ lacerta viridis
The reason why these guys are convinced that women bitterly regret sex is because, for some reason MRAs cannot fathom, women who choose to have sex with them do end up regretting it. The fact that women do not necessarily regret sex with men other than these MRAs escapes them.

Basically guys if women don’t like what you have done you did it wrong

sparky
sparky
5 years ago

Women have it pretty good nowadays. No violence, no discrimination in hiring, no discrimination in education, nothing bad really.

What planet is this person from?

Ire
Ire
5 years ago

Does this mean I get to be proud of all those times a guy rammed his hand up my crotch and I froze in terror before I learned to take the women’s cart of the subway?

Or am I totally making it up because I didn’t immediately jump and ran around screaming “RAAAAAPE!” at the top of my lungs?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

Hisanus

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

I think that a better question is “why do misogynists lie about women lying about rape?”. The obvious answers are terrifying.

lacerta viridis
5 years ago

@schwadevivre

But… but I cannot possibly imagine why any woman would ever regret sleeping with these shining specimens of humanity. Must be something to do with their weird irrational hamstery lady brains, amirite?

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
5 years ago

sparky
“What planet is this person from?”

cassandrakitty
“Hisanus”

Reminds me of this scene
http://youtu.be/0AKqMKqQNn8

Aporiac
Aporiac
5 years ago

So you don’t agree with the Reddit commenter. Fine. What’s your explanation for why feminists lie about rape then?

b.tom.darga
b.tom.darga
5 years ago

Wow. This is lesson in the power of obtuseness. Has it not occurred to them that “feminists”, like most women in general, might have an obvious motive to care about rape … the rational self interest of not wanting to be a rape victim (possibly again)? Does it really have to be a hidden or convoluted motive?

mildlymagnificent
5 years ago

cassandrakitty’s right. The only time I ever had a casual conversation with a woman workmate about sex with workmates, she enthusiastically recommended one bloke from the office (with more than a thousand men in it) as being the “best lay you’ll ever get”. Being married, I was not part of the usual Monday morning reflections on the success or otherwise of weekend encounters. I presume those conversations took place out of my hearing. afaik, sex with a particular person that is “regretted” is either treated as “don’t bother” or not mentioned at all.

No one has ever spontaneously told me about being raped. Not even when I was one of the sexual harassment contact team and clearly, publicly, available for conversations about difficult personal matters.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

Actually I feel like if these guys had any idea how much women sometimes talk about our sex lives with our friends, and in how much detail, they might never recover. They seem really wedded to the idea that we only have sex to manipulate men into (insert motive here).

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

Well, cassandrakitty, of course we only allow men to sex us so as to manipulate them to [insert motive here]! We’re reptilian alien sex bots with hamster brainz after all!

Tessa
5 years ago

lie about rape statistics on all fronts to set the bar for consensual sex so high no couple in a committed relationship meets it

I know this is part of what he was responding to, but where exactly do they think this bar of consensual sex is? Is it that if she’s not begging the dude to stop, she’s totally consenting? Actually, the committed relationship part suggests it’s the idea that he has sex rights whenever he wants, whether she wants to or not.

no violence, no discrimination in hiring, no discrimination in education, nothing bad really

Maybe they’re from the fuuuuture. Or an alternate universe… Or they’re just stupid.

maskerade
maskerade
5 years ago

@mildlymagnificent

find myself having to explain what happened to me fairly regularly. For some reason “please don’t touch me, I don’t like it” isn’t good enough for a lot of people and they demand a “real” explanation. Far too often, they then think it’s funny to keep touching me. So I know it’s only my experience but, yeah, I have to tell people I wouldn’t otherwise discuss it with.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

The bar seems to be set at “could I get a jury to buy the idea that she asked for it”, basically.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Spontaneous conversations about rape? Oh hell. I had to work up my nerve for like two months just to tell my mom that some pervert in a car showed me his wang while asking for directions, and even then, I stuttered! And I still haven’t told her about the dude who tried to force me to blow him, right under my parents’ own roof. I don’t give a rat’s ass if that’s not RAPE-rape, just because he didn’t use overt violence; it was still sleazy and gross as all hell. And the reasons I said nothing about it for nearly 25 years are (a) slut-shaming ahoy! and (b) good feckin’ gawd, how DOES one bring that up in conversation, ever?

These guys may by coincidence inhabit the same planet as me, but do I ever wish they would all just slither back into the sea. They aren’t evolved enough to be living on land.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

(Also, that second batch of cupcakes totally looks like Kermit the Frog, choking on his own vomit and turning blue. Which is kind of appropriate, when you think about it…)

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

Spontaneous conversations about rape? It really depends. I was in the med room one day at my old job with a couple of co-workers who were talking about how a patient couldn’t have been raped as often as she said because rape just isn’t that common. I pointed out that about one in three women is assaulted at some point in her life. I pointed at one and then the other and then myself, and said “it was me”. But I just wanted them to shut up about it, because they were sounding really rape apologist and it was bugging the Hell out of me. I also didn’t offer any details beyond ‘it happened to me’.

I feel better about my history now that I can talk about it, acknowledge it, and then move on. I don’t go into details, and I don’t bring it up lightly. And then, I had an incident at work a week and a half ago, and I have been warning my co-workers about the patient. I feel a lot better for talking about that! I have to say that I, personally, feel better for talking to shed some of the shame, but I also remember how hard it was the first time I told.

Everyone responds to trauma differently, I guess.

I’m also still waiting for my special snowflake you must protect me ultra damseling shield, though, so I guess the Feminist High Council is cross with me again.

Ire
Ire
5 years ago

@grumpyoldnurse

I seem to beall out of ultra damseling shields but would you take some internet hugs instead? Because DAYUM was that a brave thing you did at work!

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

Thanks, Ire! But, it was actually my manager who was super cool! After the safety plan she implemented, she deserves to be the boss.

Tracy
Tracy
5 years ago

No-one I know who has been raped or sexually assaulted thinks of the experience/s as a badge of honour. None of the women, none of the men. I wonder if this person thinks that if you talk about something, it must mean you’re proud of it – otherwise, you’d keep it to yourself? Or perhaps he just has no compassion whatsoever. Either way, may the ground rise up to meet his feet, and may it be made entirely of Lego.

@grumpyoldnurse *standing ovation*

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

@ Tracy – ::blushes and stammers ‘thanks’ very quietly::

I think he lacks compassion. Also stooopid. I blame the stooopid. Too much stooopid in the Doritos, these days. Also, I hope it’s the little very sharp weird Lego that my son always leaves in the hallway!

megantrever
megantrever
5 years ago

“If they’re not oppressed then feminism is gonners”

Ya, like feminism is some life form that exists independently and has a will to survive. lol.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
5 years ago

First of all, I’m LMAO at the Cookie Monster cupcakes pic and your caption underneath, David. Nice. 😉

Second, I’m kinda impressed the d-bag featured in the post admits that cat calling is real. Did he not get the MRA memo?

And third, I’m marveling, as always, at the unfathomable disconnect from reality these cretins represent, and the staggering irrationality of their sexual fears:

“lie about rape statistics on all fronts to set the bar for consensual sex so high no couple in a committed relationship meets it?”

Yeah, baby — that’s THE reason we evil wimminz lie about rape stats, to end all sex between couples in committed relationships. Bwahahaha! (evil laughter)

Now that our real agenda is exposed, we’d have to come up with something new and even more devious. I dunno, maybe… Cats For Feminism? Bwahahaha! (That was evil laughter again.)

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I feel better about my history now that I can talk about it, acknowledge it, and then move on. I don’t go into details, and I don’t bring it up lightly. And then, I had an incident at work a week and a half ago, and I have been warning my co-workers about the patient. I feel a lot better for talking about that! I have to say that I, personally, feel better for talking to shed some of the shame, but I also remember how hard it was the first time I told.

I have an easier time writing about it on my blog and here than I do talking about it face to face, or over the phone. If I have to verbalize it, I feel like I’m squeezing the words up all the way from my toes. Must be an introvert thing.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
5 years ago

@grumpyoldnurse

“I’m also still waiting for my special snowflake you must protect me ultra damseling shield, though, so I guess the Feminist High Council is cross with me again.”

You and me both, grumpyoldnurse. We either must have done something wrong or being raped ain’t what it’s cracked up to be, in the eyes of MRA d-bags.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
5 years ago

@Bina:

“I have an easier time writing about it on my blog and here than I do talking about it face to face, or over the phone. If I have to verbalize it, I feel like I’m squeezing the words up all the way from my toes. Must be an introvert thing.”

Or it’s a rape thing. I don’t know any circumstances that make it ever easy to talk about it. Ever.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

@ Bina – I’m an introvert, too! Writing anonymously on a blog is mush easier than face to face, I agree. In the two examples I cited, though, there were extenuating circumstances. In the first, I was getting a little bit cross (OK, I was actually pretty PO’d) with what sounded like rape apologia. In the second, I was (and still am) concerned for my co-workers’ safety. (You mentioned telling your mother. That is something that I will NEVER do!)

@ Aunt Edna – You don’t think that a bunch of misogynists could be *gasp* wrong about rape and it’s impact on victims, do you? Dear Bootsy! Someone fetch my fainting couch and smelling salts! I feel a spell coming on!

kittehserf
5 years ago

::waves burning feather under grumpyoldnurse’s nose::

::looks around for Sir Percy Blakeney, Bt, to come and lend a hand::

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Or it’s a rape thing. I don’t know any circumstances that make it ever easy to talk about it. Ever.

Yeah…it’s that, too. Even without the stigma, even knowing I wasn’t to blame for him suddenly climbing up over me (we were making out on the floor) and straddling my neck as he unzipped, I still can’t talk about it easily. Not even with my mom, who I always figured I could talk to about literally anything. I didn’t want her to worry about me, that much I do remember. Or to feel guilty that she wasn’t there to protect me because she was already in bed asleep when I got back from what would prove to be a bad date. Or — and this is always a possibility — to lecture me about how you have to be more careful around guys, because they could just suddenly stop making out with you and try to rape you, because biological blahblah NEEDS. Because I’m already careful, dammit, and this still happened.

But yeah…if it were a matter of her personal safety, if the dude had threatened to hurt my family or anything, I’d have yelled bloody murder and brought the whole sleeping house down on his douchebag head. Or bitten his cock off, instead of waiting for him to stop what he was doing and put that thing away, and get off of my face. There are some things even a scared nice girl wouldn’t put up with, when push comes to shove. At the time, and under the circumstances, discretion seemed the better part of valor. Now, it just feels like I was inadvertently protecting someone who deserved nothing of the sort — HIM.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

@ kittehserf – *gasp* Thanks, much better, now! No need to bother the Pimpernel!

@ Bina – funny how we will protect others before ourselves, isn’t it? I know exactly what you mean!

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

So you don’t agree with the Reddit commenter. Fine. What’s your explanation for why feminists lie about rape then?

Why do we need to “explain” a false proposition?

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

So you don’t agree with the Reddit commenter. Fine. What’s your explanation for why feminists lie about rape then?

We generally don’t. Is that an acceptable answer? You can fuck off now you sniveling doucheweasel.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
5 years ago

Bina, FWIW, you were also protecting yourself from experiencing even more trauma. You did what you needed to do. Discretion and valor in this case may just mean self-protective common sense.

It’s been over 30 years and I still cannot and will not talk about it. I don’t even want to, because I don’t see any usefulness in revisiting the past. But remembering it so well helps in understanding what others go through.

Now I’ve gotta find a fainting couch for grumpyoldnurse. Goddamit, there never is one when you need it most.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
5 years ago

@ Aporiac – we’re not saying any one thing. I’m saying very few people (like statistically insignificant) lie about being raped, feminist or not. Piss up a rope, troll! And I hope you fall off your bridge while doing so!

@ maskerade – I’m so sorry that people are such asshats, maskerade. Internet hugs, if you want them!

@ Aunt Edna – 🙂

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

So you don’t agree with the Reddit commenter. Fine. What’s your explanation for why feminists lie about rape then?

Nuh-uh, shithead, you don’t get to play that game here. Prove to us that we’re NOT lying, first.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Er, let’s try this again: Prove to us that we ARE lying first, shithead. Because the rate for false reporting of all crimes, rape included, is less than 5%…and rape is grossly underreported, with about 9 out of every 10 NOT being reported.

I eagerly look forward to hearing your crickets chirp.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
5 years ago

The bar seems to be set at “could I get a jury to buy the idea that she asked for it”, basically.

Nope, it’s way higher. My rapist tried that defense, failed miserably, is still in jail 14 years later (because I was one of the lucky ones, comparatively – and if the fact that justice makes me lucky doesn’t prove that entire screed full of more shit than a constipated cow, I don’t know what does), and the MRAs I’ve been unfortunate enough to meet still don’t believe it was “Legitimate rape.”

Leisha Young
Leisha Young
5 years ago

I’m personally dying to get raped so I can further the feminist movement. Any takers?

For the love of humanity!

Leah
Leah
5 years ago

“we get trown in prison, raped and killed to make it happen for them.”

Being a manospherian sure is a though, busy job; these poor saps bled in wars, fought the nazis, invented science and society, gets trown in gets trown in jail, raped and god knows what else.

one wonders how they find the time spread their “Red Pill” wisdom trough the internet…

Sissy
Sissy
5 years ago

I don’t know why they keep bringing up the draft as an excuse. I don’t know why they think that rape is “imaginary” when women say that they were raped.

And furthermore, I don’t know why they say that crap and then say “WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ?!” in the same breath.

“Women have it pretty good nowadays”

This guy must be from Pluto. Gender pay gap, what’s that? Not many women in STEM fields, what’s that? Women getting hit on or harrassed for playing video games, what’s that?

“they need to milk [sexual violence] for all it’s worth”

Yeah, that When Women Refuse tumblr is clearly made up of imaginary stories. /sarcasm

Dude needs to fall face first into a box of Legos, I swear.

lokisdottir
5 years ago

@Sissy I don’t know why they think that rape is “imaginary” when women say that they were raped.

Because it’s a woman saying it, silly! Everyone, well, every real man, knows women are incapable of telling the truth, or at least any truth that he doesn’t like to hear.

I don’t understand what they think feminism has to do with false rape allegations. I mean, they happen obviously, but what’s the link with feminism? This feminist lawyer defended a man who was falsely accused of sexual assault (and it was false; the accuser was lying about numerous provable details), and the two principal witnesses for the defense were women. My D.A. friend staked out a house in another jurisdiction to arrest a woman who had made a false rape allegation. Both professionally as lawyers and ideologically as feminists we take false allegations very, very seriously–and also, you know, as decent human beings. It is despicable to destroy someone’s life with a lie, and it harms true victims.

So I wonder where I fall on the MRA narrative about feminists and rape narratives. I’m guessing one or both of: a) Not true, because obviously bitches be lyin’ and it’s not like they have the brainpower to be lawyers, or b) Not real feminist, I was just brainwashed into thinking I am. It’s amazing sometimes, the mental contortions people use to keep their worldview going.

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