It’s not exactly news that Men’s Rights Activists are obsessed — seriously obsessed — with sperm.
Several days ago, one Redditor took to the Men’s Rights subreddit to warn fellow sperm-generators to keep a close watch on that sperm of theirs, telling the tale of how he allegedly caught his alleged wife allegedly “scooping … up” the sperm he had thoughtfully deposited on her belly during sex and “PUTTING IT IN HER VAGINA!!!” He is now allegedly seeking a divorce.
But this is hardly the first time Men’s Rights Redditors have worked themselves into a lather over the dangers of spermjacking. Or even the hundredth. If you do a search for the word “sperm” on Reddit’s Men’s Rights subreddit, you’ll find literally hundreds of posts — many with hundreds of upvotes and/or comments — on the importance of safeguarding one’s own sperm.
Some headlines:
And my favorite:
Ironically, while the Men’s Rights crowd waxes paranoid about spermjackers, many of their comrades in misogyny are planning on filling as many vaginas as possible with their sacred sperm.
Pickup “artists” regularly boast about “raw dogging” their dates, apparently as unconcerned with the real dangers of STDs as they are with the possibility of pregnancy.
Perhaps the most enthusiastic sperm donor of them all? Mike Cernovich, the Juice-Rights Lawyer and GamerGate celebrity who recently treated his Twitter followers to some extended musings on the allegedly addictive qualities of his “super” sperm.
https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541453497598623745
https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541454375890079745
https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541456510946000896
https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541457198073659393
In case you’re wondering, Cernovich claims that “alpha STD protection” has kept him from getting herpes and other STDs from all the decidedly unsafe sex he claims to be having.
For more of Cernovich’s wisdom on sperm and other subjects, see this enlightening Storify put together by Twitter’s amazing @SJWIlluminati.
I’m just curious who hires this guy. What would make someone look at some roided-up-looking guy whose rants you can easily find all over the internet and think, yep, that no-neck dude who thinks that coconut oil prevents HIV infection is the lawyer for me?
Dawn Incognito,
The term “crazy eyes” is pretty popular nowadays thanks to that How I Met Your Mother scene about the hot – crazy scale. It probably just seeped into your brain. It pops into my head sometimes too.
Tessa wrote,
I’m sorry for this, that phrase got into my head and did horrible things. With apologies to true artists everywhere, for inflicting on you the following earworm.
Your lights are on, but you’re not home
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Super serum is what it takes
You can’t sleep, you can’t eat
There’s no doubt, you’re in deep
The sperm bank’s closed, you can’t get in
Another fix is all you need
Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to his jizz, oh yeah
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to cum
Might as well face it, you’re addicted to cum
Might as well face it, you’re addicted to cum
etc. etc. etc.
Xanthë , you are EVIL. XD
Update:
Thanks to all y’all who wished me well. The anti-nausea medication may be causing side effects like dizziness, headache, and profound sleepiness, but YAAAAY! I haven’t even felt the slightest twinge of nausea in twelve whole hours!!!
Taking my second dose now, and then I’m off again, but I wanted to let my friends know.
I’m feeling so much better! Dizziness is like being in my own private roller-coaster, and I have medicine for the headache (which can make my stomach upset, but not today!), so it seems to be working out OK.
So far, so good.
‘Night (again), y’all!
Look, I can spell! I wonder how long that will last.
P.S.: Xanthe – I want to see this song in the musical.
@Dawn Incognito – He probably was paranoid and delusional. Of course, at the end, people really WERE after him.
The thing is, neuro-typical people see someone with mental issues, doing horrible things, and want to blame the horrible things on the mental issues, because if the person doing the horrible things is also neuro-typical, then… that means that THEY could do stuff that bad, too!
It’s a way of saying, “Not me!” and othering the evil. The more profound and frightening the evil, the more we want to distance ourselves from any possibility that we could be like that.
I think we need a new word to cover this. Not “crazy,” but perhaps “globby” or something that has no other connotations other than “OMG, I can’t even, that’s so horrifying I want to curl up and crawl right back into the womb!”
OK, words blurring, and I’m getting off now. Bye!
I knew it wouldn’t be long before Liz Jones of the Daily Fail’s awful serialised biopic came back to bite us all.
Now this one seriously strange individual is being upheld as the “typical” feeeemale, to “prove” that spermjacking is not only a real thing, but something every guy should be paranoid about every time he has (hetero) sex.
Nevermind that that the Feminist “hivemind” at Jezebel shared the story about 5 or 6 years ago, saying “Look how awful this woman’s behaviour is; isn’t that the most unethical thing she’s done to date?” and everyone roundly condemned her for it.
And now I imagine all manosperians’ relationships look like this:
[img
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“You’re not jacking my super-sperm with your stinky vagina, sl*t!”
Well, that just made me think of this: http://oglaf.com/100-eyes/2/ (It’s Oglaf, so it’s NSFW)
…Are we sure this topic wasn’t a parody of MRAs? Because all/most the manospherians I’ve come across seem to be of the opinion that a woman (no wait, a ‘girl’) owes them sex if they either bought them dinner/drinks/gifts, or if they live together/are married.
Can humanity just collectively decide to vote Liz Jones off the island? She can go live with JB, they’ll hate each other and yet have so much in common.
Didn’t he once claim to have been falsely accused of rape? One wonders if he got a law degree mainly so he could represent himself in court against all the false rape, paternity, and child custody claims that his super duper souped-up jizz was certain to attract.
FWIW, his law degree is from Pepperdine. (My money was on Taft, which gave the world Orly Taitz, but Pepperdine can lay claim to Rod Blagojevich). It’s a legit 2nd tier school, but has the reputation of being overpriced, with a less than stellar placement rate for graduates who aren’t at the top of their class. He doesn’t appear to have done much with his degree so far, other than use it to promote his juice and ingratiate himself with GG.
Michelle C Young – Hope you get well soon …
… but America! ffs $200 for filling a prescription??? To someone in the UK who is used to under 60’s facing a prescription charge of £8.05 ($12.58) per item that is so stupid.
Schwa – You have no idea. We’re paying almost $800/mo for insurance and still have crap coverage. Thanks to the ACA, basic preventative care is covered (vaccines, check-ups), but if you ask about ANYTHING during a check up they add on an “office consultation” charge.
My youngest’s last vaccination/check-up ended up costing us nearly $200 because I asked about a rash on her arm -_-
(Even with the nearly $800/mo premium, we have $2000 individual and $8000 family deductibles before anything beyond the most basic preventative care is covered. If we reach that, then there’s still 20% copay…and that’s if they deem the medicine/procedure/what-have-you necessary/”coverable”. I believe that with the ACA, we’re now capped at $12,000/year outlay before insurance has to cover everything, so our insurance – as well as that of many – is pretty much preventative + catastrophic care.
‘Murica.)
Alto – Lysol for ladybits = horrific.
I am so late (again) to this thread!
Michelle – glad to hear you’re on the mend! Hope it stays the course. Also, your comment last page was dead on, in so very many ways!
Xanthe – You broke my brain. Do you know where I might find a new one? (I can’t get the image of Robert Palmer and his mannequin posse singing those lyrics out of my head)
@proxieme – That sucks. My doctor is super aware of the cost of care and tells me to call if a prescription costs too much so she can find a cheaper one, pretends everything is preventive even when it’s not, etc. I am super grateful to her but damn it is an outrage that affordable care depends on if you get a doc like mine, plus so many other things!
@ proxieme – OMG. I *knew* coverage was bad in the USA, but I really had no idea (spoilt Canuck – Thanks for everything, Tommy!). I just, OMG.
@Schwa – Seems even worse to me. In Scotland, prescriptions are free.
grumpynurse,
Multiply how bad you think it is now by 10. Because it gets much worse. I once thought I had cancer because of a false positive. My first thought was not, “Oh no. I could die” It was, “Oh shit, we’re going to lose the house.”
Michelle, I’m glad you are feeling better.
PSA to those in the US struggling with health costs: needymeds.org has a free drug discount card. Back when I was uninsured it cut the cost of my prescriptions by about 75%.
You guys want to move north? We could totally (IMHO) use lots more straight-talking feminist ladies up here. I’ve had co-workers who went to work in the US but came back because they didn’t like counting band-aids.
Happy note, though, Lea! I’m very glad that the cancer scare was from a false positive. 🙂
Off topic time. Steven Moffat just heavily implied that the next Doctor will be a woman. I’m very much enjoying the male tears right now.
Some idiot who probably doesn’t even watch the show because he referred to the Doctor as a “human being” actually told me that if I want a female Doctor I should just go make my own show. Um…what? The whole reason that it was being discussed was because the showrunning was talking about it. Why would I need to make my show? It think it’s just a reflex at this point to tell people to make their own shows/games/movies. They must not even read the articles they’re commenting on.
Also, I’m pretty sure that going and making your own version of Doctor Who would be a violation of copyright.
@Michelle: It’s good that you’re feeling better! And enjoy Torment. I’ll get around to playing it again … one of these days. I would like to agree with whoever suggested Avadon, Geneforge, and Avernum — they are fun, and indie, and each one is huge. The first couple of Avernum games don’t have a lot of explicit direction, but there are fan pages with walkthroughs and hints.
Who was it talked about Hitler’s eyes? Sounds like you didn’t watch much of the History Channel in the 90s and early Oughts, it was all Hitler all the time, with the occasional documentary about the WWI air war narrated by Tom Baker (that was a weird conjunction of some of my passions, right there).
Anyway, when I think “crazy eyes,” I tend to think Gowron:
http://www.startrek.com/uploads/assets/articles/gowron-big-eyes.jpg
There’s nothing unusual about the actor …
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120719195432/memoryalpha/en/images/thumb/d/d1/Robert_O%27Reilly.jpg/500px-Robert_O%27Reilly.jpg
… so he just glared all the time. Ouch. The Star Trek wiki implies that helped get him the part, though….
Finally: Go and make your own Doctor Who. What. I just.
WWTH:
So Moffatt’s talking like he may have done a 180? Coolness. Dudebros are weeping? Awesome. Xanthe’s tank is looking a little low. (It’s a Sinfest reference, I would have to do a lot of digging to find the specific strip, though.)
Maybe this is Panglossian optimism talking, but I tend sometimes towards “Well, if the mental issues are underlying the horrible things, then treating the mental issues might help them stop doing horrible things! They’re not, in fact, irredeemable assholes!”
Of course, other days I’m like “I would like them to become perfectly self-aware, and if the horror of that drives them to suicide, well, nothing of value was lost”, because I too am wrestling with issues (and sometimes still think that I am nothing of value).