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#gamergate alpha males antifeminism drama kings men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men precious bodily fluids PUA red pill reddit spermjacking

Misogynists can't agree: Should you guard your sperm with your life — or spread your "super serum" as widely as you can?

SuperSperm: Probably not going to get near any vaginas any time soon
SuperSperm, not to be confused with Sperm Clark Kent

It’s not exactly news that Men’s Rights Activists are obsessed — seriously obsessed — with sperm.

Several days ago, one Redditor took to the Men’s Rights subreddit to warn fellow sperm-generators to keep a close watch on that sperm of theirs, telling the tale of how he allegedly caught his alleged wife allegedly “scooping … up” the sperm he had thoughtfully deposited on her belly during sex and “PUTTING IT IN HER VAGINA!!!” He is now allegedly seeking a divorce.

But this is hardly the first time Men’s Rights Redditors have worked themselves into a lather over the dangers of spermjacking. Or even the hundredth. If you do a search for the word “sperm” on Reddit’s Men’s Rights subreddit, you’ll find literally hundreds of posts — many with hundreds of upvotes and/or comments — on the importance of safeguarding one’s own sperm.

Some headlines:

sperms1 sperms2 sperms5 sperms6 sperms7

And my favorite:

sperms4

Ironically, while the Men’s Rights crowd waxes paranoid about spermjackers, many of their comrades in misogyny are planning on filling as many vaginas as possible with their sacred sperm.

Pickup “artists” regularly boast about “raw dogging” their dates, apparently as unconcerned with the real dangers of STDs as they are with the possibility of pregnancy.

Perhaps the most enthusiastic sperm donor of them all? Mike Cernovich, the Juice-Rights Lawyer and GamerGate celebrity who recently treated his Twitter followers to some extended musings on the allegedly addictive qualities of his “super” sperm.

https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541453497598623745

https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541454375890079745

https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541456510946000896

https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/541457198073659393

In case you’re wondering, Cernovich claims that “alpha STD protection” has kept him from getting herpes and other STDs from all the decidedly unsafe sex he claims to be having.

For more of Cernovich’s wisdom on sperm and other subjects, see this enlightening Storify put together by Twitter’s amazing @SJWIlluminati.

 

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Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Cernovich lives on twitter. It’s hard to figure out where he carves out time to maintain his “gorilla” physique or “bang hotties.” Ostensibly all this manic self-promotion is helping him market his super special “juice.” I’m not the first to wonder what in hell is IN that “juice?”

Hallucinogens. And possibly (meth)amphetamines.

It’s clear that he’s a legend in his own mind, and the only sex he actually has is the solo kind.

(Hey look, I rhymed!)

seraph4377
6 years ago

This a weird question I know this is just a movie but how did Edward get Bella pregnant in Twilight? Edward is somewhat dead isn’t he? Or do vampires have some sort of special ability?

Interesting question.

There are some vampires in Eastern European folklore (probably elsewhere as well) who can sire half-human dhampirs despite being undead.

There are some fictional vampires who can sire or bear children because of some kind of mystical imbalance in their vampirism. Here I’m thinking of high-generation Cainites and yang-imbalanced Kuei-Jin in White Wolf’s Vampire: The Masquerade game.

Stephanie Meyers didn’t go either route. She just said that while all vampires have a venom in their fangs for converting humans to vampires, male vampires also have another kind of venom.

So apparently, despite the fact that Edward has been dead for 97 years, every cell in his body absolutely static, he is still just as capable of impregnating a human woman as any living man, because he has special venom. In his balls. And the only reason he hasn’t left a string of superbabies and women with destroyed pelvises behind him over those 97 years is because he’s been waiting for his future wife.

Or if you’re just wondering how he had an erection and ejaculated…*shrug*. All of his other muscles work, why not his pelvic ones? And the blood in his body may not be his, but I suppose he can use it in all the usual ways.

Puddleglum
6 years ago

re: vamp sperm. Well, it’s fictional, so whatever the author wants, goes. I know Laurell K Hamilton had a character get pregnant from a vamp (hot tubs, apparently, do things to vamps) but I just assumed that with the glittery vampires, they weren’t dead in the same way as traditional vampires.

Tessa
6 years ago

This a weird question I know this is just a movie but how did Edward get Bella pregnant in Twilight? Edward is somewhat dead isn’t he? Or do vampires have some sort of special ability?

From the author herself:

The normal reactions of arousal are still present in vampires, made possible by venom-related fluids that cause tissues to react similarly as they do to an influx of blood. Like with vampire skin—which looks similar to human skin and has the same basic function—fluids closely related to seminal fluids still exist in male vampires, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum. This was not a known fact in the vampire world (outside of Joham’s personal experimenting) before Nessie, because it’s nearly impossible for a vampire to be that near a human and not kill her.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I am the best feminist, as proven by my 8 kids, conceived with the ebay-purchased sperm of NBA players and living with me in our child-support funded mansion. Living the dream, my friends.
</blockquote.
IIRC, you're from the Twin Cities. Where is your child support manse? Because I have one too. Maybe we're neighbors. Is it on Lake Minnetonka? Lake Harriet? Tangle town? Summit Ave? Edina?

Sorry. I couldn't resist the opportunity to make a regional reference.

andiexist
andiexist
6 years ago

@Redcap

So you don’t agree with internet diagnosing, but you’re going to defend it anyways. Right.

I don’t think anyone’s saying bipolar people can’t have delusions of grandeur. People are saying that delusions of grandeur do not mean that someone is bipolar.

Being a (wannabe) alphahole is not limited to the non-neurotypical.

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
6 years ago

@wwth Well obviously we only summer in Minneapolis, but yes, you can tell our mansion near Lake Harriet (the lady lake) because we have all the vulvic sculptures in the yard and instead of gargoyles there are statues of Thelma, Louise and Wonderwoman.

seraph4377
6 years ago

because it’s nearly impossible for a vampire to be that near a human and not kill her.

This part gets my goat even more than the venom-induced pregnancy. I know that Meyer gets off on how awesomely strong and perfect her vampires are, but they’re clearly not Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex strong, or Edward’s venom money shot would have taken Bella’s head off. With that off the table, a vampire can avoid killing his human partner by letting her get on top and set the pace. Is that really so hard to imagine?

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

In Angel he gets Darla pregnant even though vampires aren’t supposed to be able to procreate. It turns out a higher power did it so that their son could eventually impregnate Cordelia’s body while said higher power had taken it over. This way she could give birth to herself and take over the world. For whatever reason she needed a supernatural birth.

Typing it out, that sounds incredibly convoluted but I swear it makes sense on the show.

schwadevivre
6 years ago
Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
6 years ago

With that off the table, a vampire can avoid killing his human partner by letting her get on top and set the pace. Is that really so hard to imagine?

Whaaaaaat??? A woman on top??? In what kind of bizarro-land do you live???

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
6 years ago

In my former profession we called that bulletproof thinking. It is an attitude that usually develops along about the fifth year. It is a very human failing to take a risk and have no negative consequences enough times that you will stop viewing it as a risk even though you know perfectly well that it is.

kittehserf
6 years ago

My oath, these guys have all the worst of massive but insecure egos and utter stupidity.

On the original bit … some bloke deliberately ejaculating on my skin would never get the opportunity to ejaculate near me ever again.

Cue that clip of General Jack D. Ripper from Dr Strangelove… “precious bodily fluids”

LOL that was exactly my thought, Xanthë.

Mike Wonderjizz

WIN

Michelle – standing ovation for your comment, and 🙁 for you being sick and having to be off-line for a while. I hope the meds all work and clear that stuff up!

Emmy Rae

I am the best feminist, as proven by my 8 kids, conceived with the ebay-purchased sperm of NBA players and living with me in our child-support funded mansion. Living the dream, my friends.

Bwahahahahahha!

Stuffed Fantod
6 years ago

Dude absolutely has a few strains of HPV at this point if he’s been barebacking multiple partners all this time.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Thanks seraph4377, puddleglum and Tessa.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I too vote for Mike storing up his superjizz in his own testicles where it belongs. Why share something that precious with the terrible, ungrateful wimminz? Keep it for yourself, that’s what I say. Alternatively he could keep it in a jar under the bed, or I hear they make some very nice safes these days.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
6 years ago

I honestly can’t believe that this walking Petri dish hasn’t lost his bar accreditation yet.

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

Since I can be something of a bitch sometimes, I would’ve attributed these guys’ delusions of grandeur about their semen not to bipolar but to untreated neurosyphilis…

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

These are the same guys who lie about having vasectomies and poke holes in their condoms to trap women into having babies, aren’t they?

Let’s say you’re a woman who would like to have a baby. Which seems like the most sensible path to motherhood?

1. An adult conversation with your current spouse/partner about planning a family.
2. A medically screened donor from an accredited sperm bank.
3. A frantic taxi ride back to your apartment with a condom full of rapidly congealing “liquid bitcoin” stolen from the trash can of a paranoid MRA who hates women and has no intention of ever providing child support. Bonus points if it’s a high speed police chase. There is literally nothing more valuable than $92,000 worth of DNA from a dude who can barely comprehend reality.

Plan #3 seems like it should go pretty smoothly.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

I honestly can’t believe that this walking Petri dish hasn’t lost his bar accreditation yet.

I honestly can’t believe that he has one at all. Are we absolutely certain that his law degree isn’t from a diploma mill?

yazikus
yazikus
6 years ago

Bina, that is usually pretty easy to figure out if you have someone’s full name and what state they are supposedly accredited in…. Do we?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
6 years ago

I don’t know where he practices, but I was stupid enough to glance at his twitter feed for a few seconds, and wow. Wow. Don’t repeat my mistake.

kittehserf
6 years ago

idledilettante skewers his claims to be a lawyer here.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

I’m glad I didn’t read this post until after I’d eaten.

Mike Cenovich is really, really creepy.

Dawn Incognito
Dawn Incognito
6 years ago

@Michelle C Young

Just keep behavior and illness separated, please. It doesn’t matter if Hitler was neuro-typical or not. He deserved to be shamed. And not because of any mental stuff. He deserved to be shamed for what he DID.

Apologies if this is a derail, but it’s something I was just thinking about earlier today. I’ve been watching some WWII documentaries on Netflix, and apparently had never really seen pictures of Hitler before. Just caricatures or actors playing Hitler and the like. When I first saw a photograph of him, his eyes gave me the chills. What was my first reaction? “Hitler has crazy eyes.”

Now I do actually believe that Hitler was paranoid and delusional, but what was it that made me classify his eyes as “crazy”? I’ve been working on cutting out ableist language, but that was my instinctive response. In breaking it down a little bit, I realized that his eyes are very intense, very focused, but with a thousand-yard stare. And in thinking about it a little more, I wondered if I would have found that intensity off-putting if I didn’t know that this was Adolf Freaking Hitler? Would I find those eyes attractive or charming if I didn’t know the context?

Thanks to this site for helping me break down some of my internalized ableism. A lot of the time when I jokingly demean myself as being “crazy” or “nuts” it’s not entirely a joke. Thinking about it is very interesting!

Also, I hope you feel better soon, Michelle!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I’m just curious who hires this guy. What would make someone look at some roided-up-looking guy whose rants you can easily find all over the internet and think, yep, that no-neck dude who thinks that coconut oil prevents HIV infection is the lawyer for me?

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Dawn Incognito,
The term “crazy eyes” is pretty popular nowadays thanks to that How I Met Your Mother scene about the hot – crazy scale. It probably just seeped into your brain. It pops into my head sometimes too.

Xanthë
6 years ago

Tessa wrote,

These guys have a very very high opinion of their semen. Cernovich frighteningly so. “Addicted to cum?” Do they actually believe this? I am now kinda imagining women breaking into a sperm bank just to get another fix.

I’m sorry for this, that phrase got into my head and did horrible things. With apologies to true artists everywhere, for inflicting on you the following earworm.

Your lights are on, but you’re not home
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Super serum is what it takes

You can’t sleep, you can’t eat
There’s no doubt, you’re in deep
The sperm bank’s closed, you can’t get in
Another fix is all you need

Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to his jizz, oh yeah
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough
You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to cum

Might as well face it, you’re addicted to cum
Might as well face it, you’re addicted to cum

etc. etc. etc.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Xanthë , you are EVIL. XD

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

Update:

Thanks to all y’all who wished me well. The anti-nausea medication may be causing side effects like dizziness, headache, and profound sleepiness, but YAAAAY! I haven’t even felt the slightest twinge of nausea in twelve whole hours!!!

Taking my second dose now, and then I’m off again, but I wanted to let my friends know.

I’m feeling so much better! Dizziness is like being in my own private roller-coaster, and I have medicine for the headache (which can make my stomach upset, but not today!), so it seems to be working out OK.

So far, so good.

‘Night (again), y’all!

Look, I can spell! I wonder how long that will last.

P.S.: Xanthe – I want to see this song in the musical.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@Dawn Incognito – He probably was paranoid and delusional. Of course, at the end, people really WERE after him.

The thing is, neuro-typical people see someone with mental issues, doing horrible things, and want to blame the horrible things on the mental issues, because if the person doing the horrible things is also neuro-typical, then… that means that THEY could do stuff that bad, too!

It’s a way of saying, “Not me!” and othering the evil. The more profound and frightening the evil, the more we want to distance ourselves from any possibility that we could be like that.

I think we need a new word to cover this. Not “crazy,” but perhaps “globby” or something that has no other connotations other than “OMG, I can’t even, that’s so horrifying I want to curl up and crawl right back into the womb!”

OK, words blurring, and I’m getting off now. Bye!

AltoFronto
AltoFronto
6 years ago

I knew it wouldn’t be long before Liz Jones of the Daily Fail’s awful serialised biopic came back to bite us all.

Now this one seriously strange individual is being upheld as the “typical” feeeemale, to “prove” that spermjacking is not only a real thing, but something every guy should be paranoid about every time he has (hetero) sex.
Nevermind that that the Feminist “hivemind” at Jezebel shared the story about 5 or 6 years ago, saying “Look how awful this woman’s behaviour is; isn’t that the most unethical thing she’s done to date?” and everyone roundly condemned her for it.

And now I imagine all manosperians’ relationships look like this:

[imgcomment image&f=1[/img]

“You’re not jacking my super-sperm with your stinky vagina, sl*t!”

Catalpa
Catalpa
6 years ago

Alternatively he could keep it in a jar under the bed, or I hear they make some very nice safes these days.

Well, that just made me think of this: http://oglaf.com/100-eyes/2/ (It’s Oglaf, so it’s NSFW)

“I thought it was my right, given that he was living with me and I had bought him many, many M&S ready meals”

…Are we sure this topic wasn’t a parody of MRAs? Because all/most the manospherians I’ve come across seem to be of the opinion that a woman (no wait, a ‘girl’) owes them sex if they either bought them dinner/drinks/gifts, or if they live together/are married.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Can humanity just collectively decide to vote Liz Jones off the island? She can go live with JB, they’ll hate each other and yet have so much in common.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

Didn’t he once claim to have been falsely accused of rape? One wonders if he got a law degree mainly so he could represent himself in court against all the false rape, paternity, and child custody claims that his super duper souped-up jizz was certain to attract.

FWIW, his law degree is from Pepperdine. (My money was on Taft, which gave the world Orly Taitz, but Pepperdine can lay claim to Rod Blagojevich). It’s a legit 2nd tier school, but has the reputation of being overpriced, with a less than stellar placement rate for graduates who aren’t at the top of their class. He doesn’t appear to have done much with his degree so far, other than use it to promote his juice and ingratiate himself with GG.

schwadevivre
6 years ago

Michelle C Young – Hope you get well soon …

… but America! ffs $200 for filling a prescription??? To someone in the UK who is used to under 60’s facing a prescription charge of £8.05 ($12.58) per item that is so stupid.

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

Schwa – You have no idea. We’re paying almost $800/mo for insurance and still have crap coverage. Thanks to the ACA, basic preventative care is covered (vaccines, check-ups), but if you ask about ANYTHING during a check up they add on an “office consultation” charge.
My youngest’s last vaccination/check-up ended up costing us nearly $200 because I asked about a rash on her arm -_-

(Even with the nearly $800/mo premium, we have $2000 individual and $8000 family deductibles before anything beyond the most basic preventative care is covered. If we reach that, then there’s still 20% copay…and that’s if they deem the medicine/procedure/what-have-you necessary/”coverable”. I believe that with the ACA, we’re now capped at $12,000/year outlay before insurance has to cover everything, so our insurance – as well as that of many – is pretty much preventative + catastrophic care.
‘Murica.)

proxieme
proxieme
6 years ago

Alto – Lysol for ladybits = horrific.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
6 years ago

I am so late (again) to this thread!

Michelle – glad to hear you’re on the mend! Hope it stays the course. Also, your comment last page was dead on, in so very many ways!

Xanthe – You broke my brain. Do you know where I might find a new one? (I can’t get the image of Robert Palmer and his mannequin posse singing those lyrics out of my head)

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
6 years ago

@proxieme – That sucks. My doctor is super aware of the cost of care and tells me to call if a prescription costs too much so she can find a cheaper one, pretends everything is preventive even when it’s not, etc. I am super grateful to her but damn it is an outrage that affordable care depends on if you get a doc like mine, plus so many other things!

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
6 years ago

@ proxieme – OMG. I *knew* coverage was bad in the USA, but I really had no idea (spoilt Canuck – Thanks for everything, Tommy!). I just, OMG.

gilshalos
6 years ago

@Schwa – Seems even worse to me. In Scotland, prescriptions are free.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

grumpynurse,

Multiply how bad you think it is now by 10. Because it gets much worse. I once thought I had cancer because of a false positive. My first thought was not, “Oh no. I could die” It was, “Oh shit, we’re going to lose the house.”

Michelle, I’m glad you are feeling better.

maistrechat
6 years ago

PSA to those in the US struggling with health costs: needymeds.org has a free drug discount card. Back when I was uninsured it cut the cost of my prescriptions by about 75%.

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
6 years ago

You guys want to move north? We could totally (IMHO) use lots more straight-talking feminist ladies up here. I’ve had co-workers who went to work in the US but came back because they didn’t like counting band-aids.

Happy note, though, Lea! I’m very glad that the cancer scare was from a false positive. 🙂

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Off topic time. Steven Moffat just heavily implied that the next Doctor will be a woman. I’m very much enjoying the male tears right now.

Some idiot who probably doesn’t even watch the show because he referred to the Doctor as a “human being” actually told me that if I want a female Doctor I should just go make my own show. Um…what? The whole reason that it was being discussed was because the showrunning was talking about it. Why would I need to make my show? It think it’s just a reflex at this point to tell people to make their own shows/games/movies. They must not even read the articles they’re commenting on.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Also, I’m pretty sure that going and making your own version of Doctor Who would be a violation of copyright.

Falconer
6 years ago

@Michelle: It’s good that you’re feeling better! And enjoy Torment. I’ll get around to playing it again … one of these days. I would like to agree with whoever suggested Avadon, Geneforge, and Avernum — they are fun, and indie, and each one is huge. The first couple of Avernum games don’t have a lot of explicit direction, but there are fan pages with walkthroughs and hints.

Who was it talked about Hitler’s eyes? Sounds like you didn’t watch much of the History Channel in the 90s and early Oughts, it was all Hitler all the time, with the occasional documentary about the WWI air war narrated by Tom Baker (that was a weird conjunction of some of my passions, right there).

Anyway, when I think “crazy eyes,” I tend to think Gowron:

http://www.startrek.com/uploads/assets/articles/gowron-big-eyes.jpg

There’s nothing unusual about the actor …

http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120719195432/memoryalpha/en/images/thumb/d/d1/Robert_O%27Reilly.jpg/500px-Robert_O%27Reilly.jpg

… so he just glared all the time. Ouch. The Star Trek wiki implies that helped get him the part, though….

Finally: Go and make your own Doctor Who. What. I just.

freemage
6 years ago

WWTH:

So Moffatt’s talking like he may have done a 180? Coolness. Dudebros are weeping? Awesome. Xanthe’s tank is looking a little low. (It’s a Sinfest reference, I would have to do a lot of digging to find the specific strip, though.)

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

The thing is, neuro-typical people see someone with mental issues, doing horrible things, and want to blame the horrible things on the mental issues, because if the person doing the horrible things is also neuro-typical, then… that means that THEY could do stuff that bad, too!

Maybe this is Panglossian optimism talking, but I tend sometimes towards “Well, if the mental issues are underlying the horrible things, then treating the mental issues might help them stop doing horrible things! They’re not, in fact, irredeemable assholes!”

Of course, other days I’m like “I would like them to become perfectly self-aware, and if the horror of that drives them to suicide, well, nothing of value was lost”, because I too am wrestling with issues (and sometimes still think that I am nothing of value).