Misogynists can't agree: Should you guard your sperm with your life — or spread your "super serum" as widely as you can?

Well, they can’t really fake it as such, they just cut away from the dude’s wang and splash something that resembles semen onto his partner; I hear piña colada mix is a popular choice…

What. No logic. None at all.

First off, the wife “spermjacking”? Aren’t these the same guys who say that marriage EQUALS consent, on a permanent basis, and that the wife can never deny sex to her husband, so what’s up with this denying her his sperm? You can’t have it both ways.

And for the fools who wonder how they can possibly protect their precious sperm from being stolen, if they use a condom, have they never considered just rinsing that sucker out in the sink? Don’t flush it. NEVER flush it. But by all means, send that liquid gold right down the drain. It takes all of a minute, and you can do it while you’re washing your penis is the sink, and wiping your ass THOROUGHLY, in order to catch those demanding wimmenz.

If you want a lot of children, and mean to raise them up to be just as manly as you are (except for the daughters, whom you will raise to be proper, meek, submissive wives for your future sons-in-law), by all means, spread your super-sperm far and wide. And take lots of notes about who, when, where, and if possible, the time of her cycle.

However, if you don’t want lots of children, please get a vasectomy and/or use condoms, and for everyone’s peace of mind, rinse them out afterwards.

On shaming mentally ill people – it’s perfectly alright to shame mentally ill people, providing those particular people have done something shameful, and that’s what the shaming is about. Oh, and they just HAPPEN to have a mental illness. Just keep behavior and illness separated, please. It doesn’t matter if Hitler was neuro-typical or not. He deserved to be shamed. And not because of any mental stuff. He deserved to be shamed for what he DID.

So, really, just because you’re bi-polar, doesn’t excuse doing horrible stuff, and if you are bi-polar, no one should EXPECT you do to horrible stuff, which is completely avoidable, and not at all connected with bi-polar, and therefore, there is nothing shameful about being bipolar. It is a pain in the neck, to be sure, but neither a doom or guarantee of horribleness, nor an excuse for it.

As for the wife cheating – if the man gave her reason to want to stray, I guarantee it wasn’t the quality of his sperm. Cheating has a number of explanations, including (but not limited to) the quality of the character of the cuckolded spouse, the quality of the lover (simply irresistible), the quality of the character of the cheating spouse, and in some cases, amnesia. Sperm quality simply DOES NOT MAKE THE LIST. Fertility might make the list. IF the wife wants a child that the husband can’t or won’t give her, then she might find a “sperm donor,” instead, but that still has nothing to do with his “super serum,” and more to do with a willingness to put the sperm IN the vagina, or a willingness to actually go to a fertility specialist.

I once knew a woman who was having trouble conceiving. She went for test after test after test after test. Everything came back good. Her husband, who claimed to desperately want children, flatly refused even one simple cum-in-a-cup test, and just blamed her. And his parents and siblings and other relatives blamed her. Thanksgiving was hell for her. Christmas was worse, because the holiday is so geared toward children. After a few years of this, she finally managed to get him tested, but by then she already wanted a divorce. And she was a faithful Catholic.

I believe that the church found her to have grounds for annulment, though. Because it’s not always the woman’s fault. Sometimes, dudes, the man can actually be in the wrong. Shocker, I know.

TL:DR – Pbtbtbtbtbtb!!! Buncha twits.

On another note, here’s that amazing reading of Juicebro’s tweets: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1mu8CZl2Uyb

Um.

I know dead bodies can get erections, but they can’t ejaculate, can they? (I’m not sure I want to know the answer to this question.)

Policy of Madness: While I strongly agree that diagnosing people over the internet is a bad idea, your implication that delusions of grandeur and bipolar disorder are not connected is troubling. Even a cursory bit of research reveals that delusions of grandeur are heavily associated with bipolar disorder. Using the people around you as samples is -really- bad science, and can be easily countered; for example, I knew someone who had strong delusions of grandeur, along with hypersexuality. When some friends and I finally got him to go to a doctor about it, it turned out that he was bipolar.

I would turn your statement around and say that, just because you have a disorder, does not make you the arbiter of it and its symptoms. This would also include people with a disorder who try to diagnose it in other people, such as Lauren.

While I strongly agree that diagnosing people over the internet is a bad idea,

Then don’t do it. The end.

@ Katz – I wouldn’t think so. Bowel and bladder let loose when you die, but that’s muscles relaxing. Ejaculation requires muscles to contract.

Totally off topic –

I will most likely be off-line for the next week to ten days, because I just today started some brandy-new medication for what we HOPE is an infection. Because, if it’s an infection, there’s a cure. If it’s not, it’s one of those life-long, just deal with it things. My doc says it sure does look like an infection – YAY!

Anyway, one trip to the pharmacy, and $200 later, I have antibiotics, and anti-nauseau medication to go with them, because last time I was on these antibiotics, for the same thing, I harfed my guts up for a week, and spent the rest of the run being really queasy. But they worked well, so it was worth it, at the time.

I sure hope the anti-nausea meds work. Side effects (which are already starting to show – yay), include headache, dizziness, and sleepiness. Add in my pain meds, and the pain to go with them, and not only is my sleep schedule going to be really messed up, but I’ll also be profoundly messed up, mentally.

At least, when I’m incapable of normal thought (thanks to the pain meds), I’m not in pain. But when I’m in pain, I don’t think so clearly, either.

Anyway, Don’t worry about me. My family is looking after me. They’re so good to me. However, I will be off-line.

Unless, of course, the meds all work together in a wonderful synergy that counteracts all the side effects and turns me into a font of wisdom and energy.

On the plus side, I am already feeling LOADS better! Yaaay! I really am! The problem started Friday (of course), but I used the previously-prescribed ointments, and the problem is running its course at an accelerated rate, so although I DO need the antibiotics, I am already on the downward slope. I have passed the peak and it can only get better from here. HOORAY!

Also, I like my doctor! Great bedside manner, and treats her patients with respect. No fat-hatred or talking down, or blaming, or anything like that. She’s very nice.

So, I’m happy and upbeat, and going to bed now. Bye, y’all, and have a great life, until I see you again.

Oh, also, @Falconer (I think), I am absolutely loving playing Planescape: Torment! THANK YOUUUUUUU!!!!! I’m going to have to go through and play it a second time, to fix all the times where I goofed up, like giving the “can only be used by Nameless One” spell to Dak’kar to copy into his spell book. Grrrrr. Or safely stowing the extra stuff I didn’t have room for in my inventory and wouldn’t be able to use for a while (until I trained as a mage), and then forgetting where I stored it! From now on, I pick a spot, and label it on the map, and maybe start my own note-book, since I can’t use custom journal entries.

Also, did you know that Beamdog has released Icewind Dale Enhanced Edition?! OOOOOHHHHH!

This is just such a good time for gamer… for people who play games, like us.

The #GGers can go step on a Web trap in a Stinking Cloud.

@WWTHl – Maybe she sues his heirs/estate?

@PUbblegulem -HAHAHA! That ws funny.

Andddd pills are kicking in.

There are a few lower-wired reflex arcs that still work in corpses. The “Lazarus reflex” comes to mind, where the body raises it’s arms and crosses them across it’s chest. (It’s scary as all fucking hell to see, I’ll tell you what)

So since a good bit of the wiring for the genetalia only goes into the spine and back out again (which is why many parapeligics can still achieve erection and orgasm even if they can’t feel it) I’d imagine that depending on the means of death you’d have at least a half hour before nerve death started kicking in enough to break the wiring.

Sorry, psychologist who just read Bonk and Stiff in rapid succession here. 😛

@Michelle: Gute Besserung. I get the nausea from antibiotics; I recently developed that from antibiotics I take as a prophylactic against malaria when traveling. Not good…

Concerning Planescape:Torment: one of my all-time favourites. There’s a kind of successor coming up next year or so. Also Spiderweb Software has some nice RPGs (Avadon, Geneforge) that scratched my particular itch when I missed Baldur’s Gate. Much of that stuff’s on sale over at GOG right now.

The more this Gamercrap goes on, the more I’m astonished at what they see as good games. I played AC for five minutes before getting bored. Skyrim a bit longer, and I return sometimes because it’s pretty, but that’s basically it.

I am the best feminist, as proven by my 8 kids, conceived with the ebay-purchased sperm of NBA players and living with me in our child-support funded mansion. Living the dream, my friends.