The Alpha Dogs on the Red Pill Subreddit are totally taking “text game” to the next level.
You know how it is when a Hot Babe 8 texts you and you start typing out a reply because, you know, that’s what people do when they get texts, and then you get ready to click “send” because that’s how you send texts? DON’T DO IT! SENDING TEXTS WHEN YOU WRITE THEM IS TOTALLY BETA.
Instead, show her who’s boss by scheduling your text to be sent later. THEN SHE’LL THINK YOU REPLIED LATER BECAUSE YOU’RE SO COOL AND BUSY AND ALOOF and totally not desperate to get in her pants or anything!
And your phone makes it easy! As noahbish explains:
She’ll be like, why didn’t he answer me, maybe I’m ugly and he’s too SUPERCOOL for me, and totally not someone playing stupid high school dating games by scheduling his response for later because, really, who would even do that.
Truly, there is nothing more alpha as fuck than scheduling your texts so you won’t seem beta as fuck.
Also another totally cool thing you can do is to text “370HSSV 0773H” to people and when they ask what it means tell them to turn their phone upside down. Ha ha! OWNED.
I’m bugged by how he got that idiom wrong: It’s “keeping them on their toes”, not their heels. Unless he meant high heels? Either way it bugs me.
Not to give this guy any credit, but seeping someone on their heels = keeping someone knocked back (think: in a boxing a match after a hit).
So, totally a healthy way to think about someone you’re dating.
It’s about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.
http://www.screenused.com/images/bttf2/biffshirt/BiffShirtCap2.jpg
I read the OP and all I could think was “watch out, we got a badass over here!” Can you just imagine if your great intellectual achievement in life was figuring out how to text people later so you don’t look too into them?
Nothing says “high value man who can’t be bothered to care about women” like hyper-analyzing everything you say or do around women.
I guess the “actually be busy so you don’t have to try to trick people into thinking you’re busy” technique is to beta for them.
lol @Dodom and @katz, excellent. Also there are about four million other ways this could go wrong.
21:30 PUA: Hey.
22:00 Hot Babe: Hey, it was great talking to you tonight. Think I could have you for dinner soon?
(PUA schedules text)
22:30 HB: And just to clarify, yes, I am a cannibal. Is it cool if we do a little non-consensual play before I eat you? Only if you’re comfortable with it.
23:00 PUA: Totally! But let’s do it at my place. Friday, come at 7, I’ll leave the back door open, here’s the address…
@ Boogerghost – karma never works that way for me, but I’d love her so much if she did…
Given their other views, what makes them think women are clever enough to distinguish between alpha game strategy and, say, being a total jerk? I admit I’d have a fair bit of difficulty with that. And jerks don’t get second dates with me.
OT – a second major retailer in Australia has decided to dump GTA5 over depictions of violence against women. Cue more weeping and wailing from gamebros.
http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/dec/04/grand-theft-auto-5-kmart-target-pulling-game-sale?CMP=fb_gu
– Wha? Huh?
– Hey, it’s Carol. What’s up?
– Jesus, why are you calling me at this hour?
– But you texted me!
– No I… Yes I did.
– Were you just asleep?
– …No
– Yes you were. Did you somehow just text me in your sleep?
– No! That would be desperate, and I’m totally not desperate.
– You’re not?
– NO! I could gave any girl I want! I’m the alpha! I’m the alpha!
– Oh, I’m so sorry! I just really need some sex right now. I thought you were so desperate you couldn’t possibly turn me down. In fact, that was the only reason I was interested in you. See you round, I guess.
*click*
– Well! That went better than usual!
Boogerghost,
This clip is obligatory now
scalyllama – that’s damn good news, Target and KMart dumping it! ::applauds::
Sir Bodsworth, ROFL!
Heh…
http://www.lifelooselybased.com/imgs/comics/151_comic_v2.png
Nice one, Bina!
Makes me feel this! 🙂
Wooh. That was satisfying!
Bina, that’s excellent!
@WWTH @Bina Hooray for linguistic cannibal jokes! The best kind of joke there is.
And @grumpy – Sweet,
I just read this, and haven’t seen the comments, but I can cheerfully say this would have no affect on me, at all, since I really don’t care about instant-replies to texts.
You see, I frequently have my phone off, for various reasons (going to a show or the doctor, or to sleep), and so I get texts whenever I turn the phone back on, and if I don’t remember, that might be for days.
Plus, I am one of those “old fogeys” who believe that we should not be tied to our cell-phones, and that people never have been and never should be required to jump at the phone’s ring, and be instantly available at all times.
I’ve read stories about dudebros sending a text and getting angry when the person doesn’t respond within 5 minutes. Dude. She might be completely unavailable. She might not have even seen it. Same goes for voice mail.
There was once a great “Crap Email From a Dude” article on Jezebel, where a woman went on a date with a guy, and then LEFT TOWN for the weekend. She had given her date her home phone number, a land-line, and came back from the trip to find a series of increasingly angry messages, most of them setting a deadline for her to respond, and saying how rude she was not to meet these deadlines. So, as she listened to these messages for the first time, she went straight from “That was a fun date. Let’s get together again sometime,” to “You are the most horrible, rude, and selfish person in the whole world, and I never want to see you again!” All this over the course of one weekend, when she wasn’t even there to ignore his messages. She looked at it as a bullet dodged. However, the fact that these expectations exist just allows that sort of ridiculousness.
As for the texts in the middle of the night? Sorry, I turn my phone off at night, so it wouldn’t bother me, at all. I’ll get them in the morning.
Still, stuff like this played a major role in me resisting getting a text-enabled phone, in the first place.
@gilshalos
I hate answering the phone, too. Really. I’ll do it, but I have to force myself not to be all “WHAT?!!!” at the person. I especially hate composing myself to be polite, only to be faced with a recording in Spanish trying to sell me something I don’t want, anyway.
Which probably explains why I can go for days before I remember that my phone is turned off. I just enjoy the blissful peace too much.
@Puddleglum
my eldest now has a text-only phone
Oh, wow, that sounds absolutely horrible! Texting is my least-favorite feature on phones.
I’m reminded of a line from Community , when the younger characters are making fun of Britta: “she was born in the 80’s! She still uses her phone as a phone!”
Snerk! I don’t even have a cel phone! And my land line doesn’t have voice mail. I do have caller ID, though, in case I get a call from work or the little grumps’ school.
I have to be on call for work a lot these days, though, so I was thinking of getting a cel phone so that I can leave the house!
@Michelle C. Young: Did you see my comment on the Video Games Make Boys Men thread that GOG’s Planescape game works on Windows, Mac & Linux? It needs OS X (10.7.0) or later for Mac.
You’re right this is pretty lame. A guy shud take longer to reply because he is busy with his goals and ambitions, not setting some lame timer
I dunno, I find retail chains banning random games to be troublesome, mostly when those games are not really special in their category. If the retailer says, ‘I don’t carry games like X,’ then you can make an informed decision to not go to that retailer or not over that.
But if they just pull games only when it’s hot in the news, well… That’s not really an informed position, is it? GTA V released in 2013, over a year ago. Banning it now is cutting off like less than 10% of its sales. And what makes this game specifically different from any of the other hitman/shoot everything games, exactly?
The timing and selection seems a bit odd, that’s all.