Any mostly rational person who has looked into the shared hallucination that is #GamerGate has no doubt noticed that it makes no damn sense whatsoever. (An alleged movement for journalistic integrity that embraces Milo Yiannopoulos of Breitbart?)
What you may not know is that there are things in this world that actually make LESS sense than #GamerGate. Here are five of them.
1) This dude in gold lame shorts.
2) This dinosaur on a bicycle.
3) This skateboarder
4) These creepy rabbits.
5) The couch dress.
(Real posts resume tomorrow.)
Fair warning, if you name the tiny elephant Trunks I’ll always hear it with Treetrunks’ voice in my head.
Also, the couch dress makes me think of a Victorian ad for a steamer trunk I saw that was watertight and had a hole with rubber gaskets you put your torso through, to use like a giant flotation device in case of an accident at sea.
I remember the ad had as a selling point the fact that it kept your hands free to tip your hat at any ladies who might be floating by.
Binjabreel, I would LOVE to see that ad! That’s a great selling-point. Or should be.
I wonder if GamerGits, MRAs, and 4-channers are really Ferengis.
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Ferengi
Extremely capitalistic? CHECK
Think the free market is always justified? CHECK
Deeply misogynistic and patriarchal? CHECK
Often refer to women as “females”? CHECK
Have creepy dependency on mother figures (Karen Straughen and Christina Hoff Summers) in spite of their misogyny? CHECK
I’ll be damned.
I went to gold lame pants guy’s website. At least he’s wearing pants in this one (though he has a lot of good stuff too, just some of it’s weird). He has one of a guy naked in the pond with swans, dangly bits at beak level, which just struck me as a supremely bad idea.
Polina’s real name is Eva Braun? That’s so disappointing. Is she supposed to be a clone of the Eva Braun or some shit, or are they just so unoriginal they can’t make up their own Nazi name?
I guess at least they weren’t geese? Still not a good idea though.
Pretty swans are even more vicious than geese, though.
*Pretty sure swans
I don’t think many of ggators are well enough educated to even know who Eva Braun was.
My first thought, when I read the name, was of Joey from Friends asking for help picking a stage name. One of the dudes said ‘Joseph Stalin’; Joey thought that was pretty catchy.
I think they ran out of creative ideas right after “what if we made Vivian blonde and put swastikas around her?”.
This is how I intend to conduct all my online altercations with trolls from now on. 😀 That is excellent.
Eeek!
Surreal insult generator:
http://www.surrealists.co.uk/surreal_insult_generator.php
Though I like the compliment one better (they don’t quite sound like compliments):
http://www.madsci.org/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/~lynn/jardin/SCG
I still don’t understand why any of them thought this would be a good idea. They don’t have the depth to do meta.
Unfortunately, despite their general ignorance, I suspect their knowledge of the Nazis is far more comprehensive.
“May you ever have naked women to toss tiny pickels an[d] coo in oblivious delight at your witty urbane opener of foreign post.”
Huh. That was surprisingly relevent yet frustratingly difficult to figure out how.
OK, that statuary has just ruined Watership Down for me.
#1 – If only it had a pile of clothes next to him, the explanation would be simple. He was interrupted in the act of putting on his socks by the kitty, and had to put life on hold to pet it.
#2 – Singing telegram, off to perform the theme song from The Land Before Time
#3 – Dad just bought his kid a skateboard, but being a conscientious father, he has to try it out, before allowing his child to use the potentially dangerous object. Five minutes later, he determines that he needs to talk to his biker-dude buddy about a safety helmet. Also, his friend the med-school student.
#4 – Errrr… I’m just gonna go… somewhere else now.
#5 – OK, this I totally get. The knitter made all those blankets for the couch, and then discovered there was a desperate need to provide the model with a knitted dress. Not having time to knit the whole thing from scratch, the knitter decided to create the dress from knitted material already made. But after all the work put into creating those large swaths of knitted material, the thought of cutting said material into proper pieces for a dress was just too heart-rending, and so a new fashion trend was born.
The person in charge of WASHING the dress is responsible for killing that fashion trend, however, as the model kept dragging the couch dress across dirty floors, snagging it on that pesky splinter in the hallway, and generally making it hard on the launderer. Therefore, the model was told that the ONLY time she is allowed to wear that dress is when she is sitting stiffly on the couch. Therefore, the dress was named the Couch Dress, and underneath the puddle of knitted cloth that is the front portion of the skirt is another outfit for the model to change into, should she need to walk around for any reason. Fortunately, all she needs to do is lift the bodice over her head, and she has a nice changing tent, for modesty.
@kitteh – That dress is the reason double-doors were invented.
Also – beautiful! Just don’t move.
@kirby – I want to see that cartoon! Fur E and Tusk, forever!
Sorry, Trunks. It’s late and I’m tired.
Michelle, I fully approve of your explanations.
… Alright, so that doodle of /pol/ personified as Hitler’s literal wife is not a parody or a joke? That shit’s real and completely serious?
…
Yeah, sorry David, your pictures don’t come close. Fuck, Dali and Bosch don’t come close.
@M. the Social Justice Ranger
I just perused the hashtag a bit, and I will reiterate: none of these pictures make less sense than Gamergate. I don’t think anything in the history of the world has made less sense than Gamergate.
Even the Infinite Improbability Drive couldn’t have conceived of a reality or unreality in which #GamerGate exists.
Skateboarding dude is one of the Blues Brothers, on a mission from God.