Categories
#gamergate misandry misogyny PUA

Return of Kings explains how videogames will make you a man

Do you even life (your head out of your torso)?
Do you even lift (your head out of your torso)?

Over on Return of Kings, one brave gamer dares to ask the question of our age: What will the world look like after the inevitable triumph of GamerGate?

I know, I know, just humor him for a few minutes. Because he has a rather, well, revealing notion of what triumph will look like, and it’s not one that’s compatible with the #NotYourShield propaganda that GamerGaters use to disguise its retrograde goals. Greendestiny, a veteran of TheRedPill and KotakuInAction on Reddit, sees in the video game “war” a new opportunity for gamebros to become Game Men:

It is my personal belief that, after GamerGate, video games will evolve to become a tool for raising a new generation of men. Our current education system fails horribly at providing real information on how the world works, what motivates people, and how to get laid.

Our education system is a disaster! Can you believe that not one college in the United States offers a major in Getlaidology?

More importantly, it pussifies men and turns them into starry-eyed believers in the Disney variety of life and love.

Huh. You know, there’s a cultural critic who’s made some interesting videos challenging the sexist tropes you can find in Disney movies and elsewhere in popular culture. Her name is Anita Sarkee… oh wait. Never mind.

The entire concept of sitting quietly and reading is meant for girls. Boys need the fight, the challenge, competition, and a test of their strength.

So why exactly are you trying to convince guys of this in a post you expect them to sit down and read? Shouldn’t your blog post be a video game or an arm-wrestling contest or something?

Games were always learning tools. Now they can become a tool for learning greater masculinity.

If by masculinity you mean “the proper sequence of buttons to push that will enable you to pull off an awesome combo.”

To become real men, boys must overcome challenges and find the true strength in themselves. Whether this is done in a virtual or real arena is irrelevant. By creating games that are consciously aimed at presenting a proper challenge, we can collectively make the world a better place for the next generation of men. And possibly help them get laid more.

“Hey, babe, I bet you didn’t know you were sitting next to a Level 90 Fire Mage.”

But seriously for a second: Yes, video games do teach gamers certain skills, and even something about the value of persistence. But why are the skills involved in, say,  shooting dudes with maximum efficiency in Call of Duty any more intrinsically valuable, or “masculine,” than the skills involved in doing this?

359 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
kittehserf
9 years ago

anemonerosie, no, no, you’re a kitty! We are all our gravatars here!

kittehserf
9 years ago

Because really, if “getting laid” is such a huge goal in your life, you don’t deserve to. EVER.

Nailed it, Bina. It’s never about wanting to have a relationship with someone, wanting to love and be loved: it’s about shoving their dicks into a Hawt Woman, whether she likes it or not.

Bina
9 years ago

More importantly, it pussifies men and turns them into starry-eyed believers in the Disney variety of life and love.

As opposed to leering, creepy-eyed douchebags who seriously believe that PUA strategies will do anything other than send women running away screaming…or laughing?

Bina
9 years ago

I mean, Gaston from “Beauty and the Beast” was the epitome of an MRA and a PUA both…

paythepiper (@demonsthenes13)

Wonder when they’re going to realize this is going to happen…
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnamFerzNvw&w=420&h=315%5D

kittehserf
9 years ago

I knew he’d be a douchebag. Goes with the name.

(Mr K’s obnoxious traitor younger brother is Gaston. No, I still don’t like him.)

tiko72
tiko72
9 years ago

It is my personal belief that, after GamerGate, video games will evolve to become a tool for raising a new generation of men.

I know we’re all aware that GG’ s are really dramatic and really believe they’re fighting real battles in an actual revolution but bloody hell!

Picture the end of a film made a few years after GG’s have-after much blood and sweat-triumphed (like all the WW2 movies made in the 50’s). As the last scene fades,maybe a field full of poppies*, a low manly voice speaks. **

‘ And as the last few survivors looked on they new their comrades lives had not been taken in vain and their blood , sweat and not tears (cos that would be totally girly) had not been for nothing. Because now they could build a better world where men were men and women were treated like shit ‘

* Would they be so insensitive to use something that’s associated with such a horrendous loss of life? Yes I’m certain after what they came up with after Ferguson there are many more barrels still to be scraped by GG’s.

** I’m absolutely sure that the above scenario exists in at least one GG’s mind.

Bina
9 years ago

Games were always learning tools. Now they can become a tool for learning greater masculinity.

“I spend all day and all my allowance on TV games
Amusement heaven at the flick of a switch
Instead of a lathe, I busy my fingers nowadays
By scoring goals with the gentlest twitch
I’ve forgotten how to use my legs
To invade the pitch…”

XTC, “Leisure”

kittehserf
9 years ago

tiko72

Because now they could build a better world where men were men and women were treated like shit ‘

This lot remind me of the old joke about the days when men were men and sheep were nervous.

tooimpurenangel
9 years ago

I get the feeling that these clowns think Duke Nukem Forever is the epitome of awesome gameplay. I don’t know. I can’t read RoK. It was good times when I thought it was satire =(

ququasar
9 years ago

I suddenly desperately want to see a group of GurbleGarglers write and present the script for their own game. You know, like Anita Sarkeesian did?

I wonder if there’s any way to prompt or dare them into doing it? Because I seriously cannot imagine how GamerGateGame could be anything other than the most unintentionally hilarious and eminantly mockable work of fiction in all of history.

Zolnier
Zolnier
9 years ago

Whatever we do don’t let these guys bring back Big Thinkers.

tooimpurenangel
9 years ago

Ever seen a Ryan Murphy show? That’s what a GormlessGator game would be like. Laughable attempts to be dark and edgy, but quotably hilarious.
(I’m actually just bitter because I really wanted to like Glee and hated it and American Horror Story, oh wow…)

tiko72
tiko72
9 years ago

@Kittehserf

I’ve heard that before, Blackadder comes to mind but I’m not sure.

Although with GG’s maybe it would be more like ‘where men were men and right hands got tired really quickly’.

Bina
9 years ago

(Mr K’s obnoxious traitor younger brother is Gaston. No, I still don’t like him.)

LOL…why am I not surprised?

kittehserf
9 years ago

LOL, Bina!

tiko72 – I don’t know how old that joke is, but I’m pretty sure it’d predate Blackadder. My ex-boss, who’s older than me, was very fond of quoting it, and his jokes are all seriously old. 😛

kittehserf
9 years ago

OT I had the strangest dream the other night – of Louis and Gaston in their earthly days, walking through a gallery or some such, and it was like they were surrounded by death. Not their deaths, but the ones they were responsible for in different ways – the men who got mixed up with Gaston’s treachery (or got him involved in theirs) and ended up executed because Louis was not inclined to let traitors off with a stern warning. It was a violent society all through, but this was like one could see it in the air. Most strange.

/we now return to your normal programming

tiko72
tiko72
9 years ago

Not that there’s anything wrong with DIY but I don’t want to even start to think about what makes GG’s……… NO NO NO . Ok , more Maru and kittens and ducklings.

kittehserf
9 years ago

Brain bleach, stat!

http://youtu.be/Dnx0z1cC8u8

Bina
9 years ago

Semi-OT, I found this today while looking for stuff on Julien Blanc et al. PUA shit has most definitely invaded the dating pool…and pissed in it. And the guys who do it are not at all happy to be found out:

Recently, I heard from a man in Ireland. “I notice you say you like modern art,” he wrote. “This doesn’t reflect well on you because it’s all celebrity and basically shit, and contradictory because you also say you hate celebrity culture.”

“Modern art is like modern anything else,” I wrote back, bashing the keys a little harder than usual. “It needs to be judged case by case. It can’t be written off simply because it’s modern.”

“You’re a very attractive woman, on the outside, and I knew you’d be as interesting on the inside,” he wrote.

“I think I read that line on a website somewhere,” I told him.

Silence.

“A PUA website. Women read them too, you know. They don’t have hormonally activated locks or anything.”

Silence.

“Why do you feel the need to use somebody else’s words? It’s none of my business I know, but I’m sure you’d be more successful if you were yourself.”

Silence.

“OK, you don’t want to talk about it and that’s fine, but on saying farewell here’s a piece of advice: in general, women can sense when they are being fed lines, or being managed, and we don’t like it, and so it’s counter-productive. Bye.”

Two days later, he replied. “You women should stay out of the manosphere. It’s not for you.”

Translation: How dare you suss me out and find me to be full of shit? My masculinity is hereby impugned!

OT I had the strangest dream the other night – of Louis and Gaston in their earthly days, walking through a gallery or some such, and it was like they were surrounded by death. Not their deaths, but the ones they were responsible for in different ways – the men who got mixed up with Gaston’s treachery (or got him involved in theirs) and ended up executed because Louis was not inclined to let traitors off with a stern warning. It was a violent society all through, but this was like one could see it in the air. Most strange.

Just to drag it sort of back on topic, these PUAs are all incredible wimps compared to either of those guys. Even douchey Gaston has them soundly out-manned, if I may use that phrase. I mean, GamerGomers talk all macho and all, but they’d be the first ones killed in the event of an actual war, and probably not by violence, but by an outbreak of plague, or some such. The idea that games teach them anything at all about reality is laughable in the face of history.

DJG
DJG
9 years ago

Loathing Disney (about which there is a great deal more to criticize in addition to sexism) is not quite up there with being devoted to cats as a redeeming quality, but it must count in my book as a point on the mitigating side.

And now I am reminded to re-read *Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister* next month.

kittehserf
9 years ago

Bina, that quote from the dating site is PRICELESS. “The manosphere is not for you” ROFL – no, dude, because it’s where we get all the proof we need that our suspicions are correct.

Also, thanks for connecting what I was thinking about with that dream – that these dudes know nothing, nothing (unless they happen to be black men in the US) about actual physical danger as the norm of life. They’re about as mature as the duellists who played leapfrog while waiting for their swords to be sharpened – oh yes, that really happened – but without any physical courage to go with it. They wouldn’t last a week in a cultured-but-violent society, never mind their precious post-apocalyptic days they so love to fantasise about.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

If you gave any of these fools real swords they’d have hacked a few of their own toes off by the end of the day.

kittehserf
9 years ago

I’d pay good money to watch that.

ktrantingredheadKT
9 years ago

Inevitable triumph?? What the hell would “winning” Gamer Gate even mean? That women all shut up and start compulsively become Stepford robots? Seriously….what the fuck would a “triumph” be?