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When an Alpha Male 2.0 comfort bombards a Type 2 VYW: A Somewhat Horrifying Red Pill Glossary

This will make more sense after you read the post, I think.
This will make more sense after you read the post, I think.

Is your love life lacking acronyms and made-up words?

In love, as in every other aspect of life (except perhaps talking to cats), it pays to increase your word power. Happily for all of us I have discovered a wondrous Red Pill Glossary on Black Dragon Blog (tagline: “Love Women While Staying Free”), which includes a wide assortment of terms that will be new even to the most advanced Alpha.

Most would-be PUAs (Pickup Artists) can tell an AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) from a DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). But here are few other acronyms you may not have encountered:

CTF – Cheating Time Frame. The amount of time you have installed in your brain before you will cheat on a monogamous partner. …

EFA – Early Frame Announcement. The strongly conveyed but unspoken overall message to a woman non-verbally conveying who you are and why you’re there. …LSNFTE Long Soft Next For Temporary Exclusivity.

I didn’t make this one up, seriously. What all that apprently means:

A common occurrence with Alphas in nonmonogamous relationships where a woman leaves the Alpha, who will not give her monogamy, so she can get a traditional boyfriend or husband who will.

Huh. Maybe she’s leaving you because you’re the sort of person who goes around talking about CTF and LSNFTE, OK?

TEP Three Exchange Process. Pitching a first date to a woman on the third or fourth email exchange with her on a dating site.

WHY DO YOU NEED AN ACRONYM FOR THIS? How many spammy messages are you sending out on OK Cupid anyway?

VYW – Very Young Woman, a woman between the age of consent (usually 18) and 23. VYW have the lowest ASD of any age group, by far.

Oh, whoops, I forgot: ASD is “Anti Slut Defense,” which Mr. Black Dragon defines as:

A condition created by societal programming experienced by women wherein they attempt to avoid sex, even if they want it, so as to not look or feel like a “slut” or “inappropriate” or not like “a lady”.

I think this is his complicated way of saying that no means yes.

There are three different types of VYW’s by the way. You can look them up yourself.

Now that you’ve mastered some of the most useful acronyms, let’s give acronyms a Hard Next and move onto actual words. And made-up words.

I might as well start with Hard Next, huh?

Hard Next – A permanent breakup. Where a man leaves a woman, never contacts her again, and literally never sees her again (or at least never again in a sexual context). …

This is not to be confused with a Soft Next, which is apparently a synonym for “acting like a douchebag.”

Soft Next – When a man removes a woman from his life for a short period of time, usually three to seven days, during which he completely ignores all communication from her, because of drama she gave him. At the end of the soft next, the relationship resumes as normal.

Or she tells him to go fuck himself because he’s being an immature asshole.

The Soft Next is not to be confused with the Stinky Next, which is when a man leaves a woman after letting out a fart so noxious that he’s too embarrassed to ever speak to her again.

Ok, I made that one up. But these are all real:

Betaization – The slow process by which a woman transforms a man she’s in a relationship with from an Alpha to a beta, usually by means of drama, demands, rules, sex (giving or withholding), or threats. Betaization is a completely natural part of a woman’s biological makeup … .

Comfort Bombardment – A process by which you get a woman comfortable about you after the first date is scheduled via online dating but prior to actually meeting her in real life. Comfort Bombardment raises the odds of sex considerably and reduces the odds of flaking. …

This is also useful if you’re planning to start a cult; you can use it alongside “love bombing.”

Disney – Any thought derived from societal programming that monogamy, child rearing, or traditional marriage is pleasant and/or permanent in the modern era. …

And for the fellas:

Guy-Disney – The incorrect thought men have that somewhere out there is a girl who will love you forever, never cheat on you, never get bored with you, and never break up with you.

This is not to be confused with:

Hanna-Barbera — In which someone plays a bongo drum very quickly every time you run.

Ok, I made that one up too.

There are more, but I think we’d probably do better just to make up some of our own.

 

 

 

 

 

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Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

@Jenny Sometimes it seems like PUAs, far from trying to fix their flaws, are recasting them as What Women Really Want But Won’t Admit It, The Delusional Bitches.

@kittehserf Love your new avatar! Even in a 1/4″ square, Mr. K looks dashing.

Is “comfort bombardment” the oxymoron of the week? It brings to mind someone getting surprise-walloped by mashed potatoes.

kittehserf
9 years ago

Buttercup – ta! Want to see the full picture? (Half length, slightly NSFW ‘cos shirtless.)

Comfort bombardment just seemed the silliest term to me, too. Like the infamous Soft Cushion and Comfy Chair, or having a pillow fight (which would raise interesting possibilities for other games in the right company).

Fibinachi
9 years ago

@Fibinachi

Ugh. These two dudes were friends of friends. I supposedly had some sort of player reputation of my own (a.k.a. I was in my early twenties and single and had an active sex life), and they both tried impressing me with stories of their “skills”, for which they cited that ridiculous book. Supposedly they wanted to see which of them could bag me, so they awkwardly tried using said “skills” on me in an incredibly stilted and pedantic way. It was really sad and funny. The stupid is strong with these types.

Well that just sounds uncomfortable, sad and funny in retrospect. Silly Pua’s, when will they learn? (never, the answer is never)

Crissa
Crissa
9 years ago

Because only women are married to men, and because the ideal woman is indistinguishable from a man.

…Because women are people, too? I’m sorry, there’s no magical differences when just put upon a stage. People are people.

What was the point of that ridiculous bashing?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

OMG, they have their own hair masques now?

http://www.sleekhair.com/lor59-6-7-oz.html?gdftrk=gdfV25188_a_7c1551_a_7c6162_a_7clor59_d_6_d_7_d_oz&gclid=CMHrzYz4nMICFfPm7Aod7ScAcA

(Look closely at front, especially the bits written on a silver background.)

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

Also, scarmouche, scaramouche, do you do the fandango?

pallygirl
pallygirl
9 years ago

The Journal of Irreproducible Results used to do a really funny straight science interpretation of beauty ads as though all the puffery was real. Every issue they would report a new scientific breakthrough from the beauty industry, using the neologisms in an ad.

Sadly, I can’t find a freeview example of what I mean. 🙁

However, I did find this classic, “Feline Reactions to Bearded Men”: http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/cat/cat.html

kittehserf
9 years ago

…Because women are people, too? I’m sorry, there’s no magical differences when just put upon a stage. People are people.

What was the point of that ridiculous bashing?

Oooh, because men’s and women’s life experiences and socialisation might just mean differences in behaviour and outlook that would be reflected in first person narrative? Because “ideal woman indistinguishable from man” means more erasure of women’s lives and voices? Because heaven forfend an ideal man should be indistinguishable from a woman?

So WTF is it with your ridiculous bashing, Crissa? Because nothing Jenny said came across remotely like bashing anyone.

pallygirl – LOL! I thought it was going to be cats reacting to bearded men who were actually there with them. Which made me think of my FiL’s bemused expression the first time Katie climbed on his chest and did her famous millimetre-by-millimetre examination of his beard. She’s such a brat.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

@kittehserf – D’oh! I got blocked by the Mature Content filter and I’m not a DA member. But I like your recommendation for “Alias Hook” – will have to check it out. Is it aimed at adults? We have a couple of Hook fans in our book club. 🙂

Comfort Bombardment is an utterly ridiculous idea. It isn’t remotely about her comfort at all. It’s about breaking down her boundaries, stealthily and persistently, and ignoring the soft noes that many women are socialized to give. It’s the old idea that any woman can be “unlocked” with the right combination of empty words and seduction techniques.

Beyond that, it just sounds like something that should come with sirens and backyard shelters. “Take cover! The Comfort Bombardment has begun!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

I assumed it had something to do with throwing pillows, fuzzy blankets, bunny slippers and so on at people.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

“I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a teddy bear in the knee”.

The term also presumes that comfort is something that can be forced onto someone, like a military invasion, and that if you’re not getting the desired results, more of what you’re doing will produce them.

So many idiotic layers. It’s a Smith Island cake of absurdity.

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

Crissa,
Getting upset at people for criticizing something you like is for gamergaters. Not grown ups who understand that different people like different things. Knock it off please.

Jay Elmore
9 years ago

“I’m sure Paranoia is hilarious with the right people. I’ve always been too nervous to try it.”

It just so happens that PARANOIA is being reprinted: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1990654819/paranoia-rpg

It’s not hard to do a slapsticky game with PARANOIA. The setting and culture in the Alpha Complex is geared up for that, and later products pretty much made the game one big goof. That’s how I remember playing it in high school and college.

What would be really interesting would be to strip the humor out and play it totally straight. You are a Troubleshooter, charged by the Computer to help root out mutants and traitors. However, you yourself are a mutant, or a member of a secret society, and don’t know which of your teammates you can trust because any one of them would probably gladly turn you in to gain favor with the Computer. (Which, by the way, is effectively insane because decades of conflicting programming by High Programmers means it’s impossible to predict how it will react to any given situation.) IIRC, there was an official PARANOIA comic that did just that, back in the 80’s or 90’s.

Oh, and speaking of the Computer… https://twitter.com/Friend_Computer

kittehserf
9 years ago

Buttercup – my bad! Or my d’oh! I didn’t know the settings there acted as more than notifications. Let’s try this again.

Alias Hook is definitely for adults – by which I do not mean explicit sex (there is some sex, but it’s not explicit and includes – gasp – intentional humour!) but it’s a dark book in many places. Peter Pan is a figure from a nightmare, quite horrifying. Hook himself narrates the story.

“I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a teddy bear in the knee”.

If they’d said a drop bear, one could only wince understandingly. 😉

Robert
Robert
9 years ago

Comfort Bombardment makes me think of how I used to hover around my husband when he was feeling poorly. Tea, Alka-Seltzer, hot pack, cold pack, ibuprofen, music on, music off – until he’d had it and requested some peace and quiet.

As a dating strategy it sounds dreadful.

Bina
9 years ago

Comfort Bombardment? Is that when they drop goose-down pillows from a B-52? Because THAT, I could get behind.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

When you’re dropping the pillows and the plushies you wear snuggies as your official Comfort Bombardment Brigade uniform.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

It’s Operation Shock and Awwww!

@kittehserf – Oh, now THAT is a hat. Fedora, schmedora. Give me red velvet and sweeping feathers anyday. Where did you say the interior scene was, again?

kittehserf
9 years ago

It’s the Inner Sanctum suite at the Witchery by the Castle hotel in Edinburgh – and damn I wouldn’t mind staying there with Mr K if we had £££££££££££££££££££££££££££ to spend!

That hat is superb, isn’t it? All Jason Isaacs’ costumes in that film were just mouth-watering.

kittehserf
9 years ago

Forgot to add, I’ve always loved the clothes from Louis’s earthly days (a generation before these styles), not least the magnificent hats!

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
9 years ago

I really hope comfort bombardment involves fluffy cushions, a comfy chair, cheesy evil laughter, fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the pope, and nice red uniforms…

We can just pretend to have a rack, and then we can add in bonus face-palming!

kittehserf
9 years ago

Yes! That’s the sort of comfort bombardment I want!

http://img.4plebs.org/boards/tg/image/1395/35/1395358885204.jpg

kittehserf
9 years ago
cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
9 years ago

But have you offered to spellcheck it?

kittehserf
9 years ago

Only if he lets me sit in his kampfy chair to do so!

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