Lovers of literary catastrophes rejoice! Some GamerGaters are crowdsourcing a book about what they see as the death of 4chan and the rise of GamerGate, and so far the results have been even more amazingly awful than that even sounds.
So far all the Gaters have managed to produce have been some rough drafts of a lyrical prologue written almost entirely in mixed metaphor, a somewhat plodding first chapter, and a rough outline of the rest of the book. But there is much comedy gold in these rough pages.
And so I would like to present to you The Nine Most Ridiculous Quotes from The Crowdsourced GamerGate Book That Were Actually Written by Real Human Beings Who Thought What They Were Writing Was Awesome.
1) The endless sea of ones and zeroes
We would not be forgotten in the endless sea of ones and zeroes that many other events have been dissolved by, but drowned by liars who could only just grasp the lowest bars of the social ladder.
2) The Steps We Took To Pull Back the Curtain
Let’s take a walk through no man’s land. What you will find here among the ash piles are evidence of lies, deception, ill-gotten gains, facades, and false morality. You will also find the mark of our footprints; the steps we took to pull back the curtain and expose the corruption around us.
3) Never Stop Riding
Hold on to your seat. The ride never ends.
4) Like Terminator or Something
I’m writing in nostalgia of a now lost past, and fear of an uncertain future. You know, like Terminator or something.
5) Fighting in a Maelstrom of Pettiness
The ugliness on both sides, and the villains, and heroes, all fighting in a maelstrom of pettiness for a future that doesn’t care for them.
6) Something Larger in the Vacuum
While on the surface it just seems like trolls feeding trolls, death threats, and angry nerds on the surface, the picture painted is of something larger moving through the cultural vacuum that is the modern west.
7) Calculated and Painful
We were scattered by a well calculated and painful defeat.
8) Like Many a Writers Have Commented
4chan is probably, and like many a writers have commented before us, one of the most important websites of its type in the English world; known even to have affected how other unrelated websites published content and worked.
9) Not Technically Illegal
Despite being a minor, a majority of Poole’s early updates to 4chan were adding explicit boards. Many critics claimed the content of these boards were of borderline legality. Originally in /b/, and later /h/ (hentai) and /d/ (hentai/alternative), anime pornography of children (lolikon) and anime pornography depicting extreme fetishes such as necrophilia (guro). Poole responded to these complaints, by reminding them that this type of pornography is not technically illegal, and the content would not be removed.
So what will this new masterpiece be called? Well, there have been many suggestions so far. A few of my favorites:
1984Chan – The Rise and Fall of 4Chan
The point is MOOT (moot does not mean what you think it means) -40 keks
Our Kampf
So whats the deal with 4chan?
To Reign in Hell: The Fall from Grace
The Willing Executioners
Poole’s Closed
404 – (Chronicle of the Executioners), (4chan Not Found), (Freedom Failed to ` Load), (Freedom Not Found)
The Caliphate of the Internet
To Kill |Crush| a |Mocking| Cloverleaf
Ooh, someone took high school English!
The heroes who rose from the pariahs
Tales of the struggles of modern-day Huckleberry Finns
Oh, yet another High School graduate!
How we tried and slew Leviathan
How to win friends and crash your community, by MOOT
We are piss babies who like to suck diaper farts
I don’t think that last one was meant completely seriously.
(I am also aware that the bit about the Terminator was probably added by a troll.)
H/T — To Literally Who herself for pointing me to this literary masterpiece. She is also organizing a crowdsourced dramatic reading of the book’s prologue.
BONUS: Here are a few more of the proposed book covers.
Hmmm… I see very little that is about ethics in games journalism. What scraps is written, mostly seems to be whining about liberated women not crawling to men, crying about the world not being stuck in the dark ages, and self-pity over society no longer being all about sucking the d*ck of white dudes.
Basically, you get gems like this;
“explain that it’s not men’s fault women can look like/BE sluts or trans or shit like that, it’s jews/ruling class’s fault.”
So, women having freedom is not men’s FAULT, it’s the fault of “the Jüden”?
In other words:
1) Women having freedom is bad (because then they will no longer be pleasure-bots?)
2) It is not men’s fault (men DON’T want women to be free, this is a good thing, for men)
3) The Jews are behind it! (wow, it was you guys? well, if any of you read this.. thx!)
… who are they writing this for?
i like how “men” and “jews/ruling class” are mutually-exclusive categories for them.
this tells me that they are using the word “men” to refer to a specific subset of male humans, and they think that this is actually normal and does not need to be explained at all.
Oh, this is totally amazing, like something larger moving through a vacuum. Or maybe the Terminator, I’m not sure.
But I am pretty certain that these guys should get out of their basements once in a while. There are many benefits of fresh air and direct contact, even if brief, with real live people.
“i like how “men” and “jews/ruling class” are mutually-exclusive categories for them.”
oh, come ON.
EVERYONE knows Jews are evil-lizard-space-aliens in disguise!
For certain classes of haters it is always the Jews. P Z Myers has just booted a 9/11 troofer who seems to think that atheists hating on Muslims and Christians was part of some plot to hide the true evil – Jews.
So I made this. http://imgur.com/t8VnOgc
@Policy of Madness
Funny, because no one would EVER call a gater a Mensch
“I’m writing in nostalgia of a now lost past, and fear of an uncertain future. You know, like Terminator or something.”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AuUqpZgHiEE#
I want to make a meme of Nathan Poe but can’t find a picture of him.
Chaltab
Nice
This is exactly what I would expect from the sub-literates of /pol/ trying to write a book. Fun how they can’t cite any “equity feminist” besides Sommers, even though conservative shills have been using that term for quite a while.
It’s impressive how many conspiracy theories always come down to Teh Joooooz if you poke deep enough.
They really, really, should go name their dumb book “Unser Kampf”. It would be exactly what it says on the tin. And it would take less effort for Germany to place a (ineffective) ban on it.
Did these people recruit their writers from Stormfront? O_o
Giving a critical review of the gamergate book would be almost as evil ad spell checking Mein Kampf!
chapter 1, listed as complete, is literally 4 pages, of which 1 page is the bibliography. no mention of journalistic ethics
Their suggestion for fixing their PR problems is to blame a nefarious Jewish conspiracy? These guys are starting to make JudgyBitch look competent.
Well, all my fellow mammotheer nanonovelists: whatever crap you may be been writing the past month, it can’t be worse than this.
It can’t be.
it’s not until chapter 5 that gg is even mentioned. some soul has added to the end of the chapter outline:
chapter 6 mentions journalism entirely in the context of those “end of gamers” articles, which really got under someone’s skin.
chapter 7 is apparently dedicated to moot kicking gg off 4chan and how terribly upset this made them all.
chapter 9:
8chan is apparently the chan that dare not speak its name?
this made me lol
this book is very poorly structured (the chronological format = super boring) but i hope more gets done. that was an entertaining 10 minutes.
Ooh, this reminds me… is gamergate still trying to piece together a wikipedia artilce?
hmm… ooh, they are! The talk page makes for fun reading.
@ignorantianescia
“moot couldnt possibly have decided we were shitting up the place on his own, must have been his possibly^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H definitely jewish girlfriend”
and it has to be fucking repeated again.
ALL OF THE WORST BOARDS THAT THESE SHITCHEWERS CAME FROM ARE STILL FUCKING THERE AND STILL JUST AS AWFUL.
EVEN IF MOOT FINALLY DID NUKE THEM THAT STILL WOULDNT BE CENSORSHIP.
P.S: ORWELL WAS A SOCIALIST.
P.P.S: sorry for the capslock
I honestly can’t tell if this is a troll, a Poe, or just some kind of hallucination of mine – including the words I’m typing RIGHT NOW.
Seems to be so. They really do remind me of my bullies in middle school who would call anyone they didn’t like a “faggot”. The worst insult in bullies’ vocabulary was to call someone “gay” or a “pussy”. The coolest thing to do for them was to kill a virtual prostitute playing Grand Theft Auto. Graphics meant everything. The world was devided in a spectrum of “cool” versus “gay”. The “coolest” things were Halo and GTA. The “gayest” thing was Micheal Jackson (the molestation allegations were all the rage at the time).
Jesus, are they still trying to look like the heroes in this story? Because that first book cover (at the bottom) looks scary as hell. Where are his eyes??!
CH 7.00001: Nobody cares.
I don’t know about the first red face guy, but the 2nd one is definitely a re-colored Gentleman from Buffy.
And while we’re at it, what’s with anonymous troll communities like 4chan and extreme right wing ideology that borders on fascism? For the love of Lucifer’s long and pointy goatee they’re suggesting Unser Kamf as the title of a book about their history, and their language is loaded is fascist rhetoric.
The thing I don’t understand is where do anonymous dudes on the internet like on 4chan and extreme right wing ideology come together. I’m really curious to see if any research has been done in the area. It’s fascinating and disturbing at the same time.
Maybe there isn’t an interesting link. It could be that ideologues are just purposefully using the internet as a medium to spread their bile. Websites like 4chan and Reddit may simply be convenient places for them. I don’t know.
It is interesting to also discuss YouTube and the “atheist community” there. The dominant ideology is that of “vulgar libertarianism” (as HannibaltheVictor13 and SequesterZone put it). It’s basically extreme capitalism and propertarianism. And very often its adherents defend the status quo. The only time they really care of making change is when it involves atheists.
Another YouTube user called TheAzov called libertarianism “fascism lite”. The label may be extreme but he does have a point considering how fascism and corporatism are kissing cousins. Once more, I don’t see the inherent connection between extreme right wing ideologies and YouTube. It would be enlightening if someone did research on the topic.