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#gamergate 4chan 8chan drama kings entitled babies evil SJWs grandiosity gross incompetence irony alert literal nazis men who should not ever be with imaginary women ever men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny none dare call it conspiracy pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles playing the victim post contains sarcasm TROOOLLLL!!

The Nine Most Amazingly Awful Quotes from The Crowdsourced GamerGate Book Written by Real Human Beings Who Thought What They Were Writing Was Awesome.

Unser Kampf (Our Struggle): Actual proposed title and cover for the crowdsourced GamerGate collective autobiography
Unser Kampf (Our Struggle): Actual proposed title and cover for the crowdsourced GamerGate collective autobiography

Lovers of literary catastrophes rejoice! Some GamerGaters are crowdsourcing a book about what they see as the death of 4chan and the rise of GamerGate, and so far the results have been even more amazingly awful than that even sounds.

So far all the Gaters have managed to produce have been some rough drafts of a lyrical prologue written almost entirely in mixed metaphor, a somewhat plodding first chapter, and a rough outline of the rest of the book. But there is much comedy gold in these rough pages.

And so I would like to present to you The Nine Most Ridiculous Quotes from The Crowdsourced GamerGate Book That Were Actually Written by Real Human Beings Who Thought What They Were Writing Was Awesome.

1) The endless sea of ones and zeroes

We would not be forgotten in the endless sea of ones and zeroes that many other events have been dissolved by, but drowned by liars who could only just grasp the lowest bars of the social ladder.

2) The Steps We Took To Pull Back the Curtain

Let’s take a walk through no man’s land. What you will find here among the ash piles are evidence of lies, deception, ill-gotten gains, facades, and false morality. You will also find the mark of our footprints; the steps we took to pull back the curtain and expose the corruption around us.

3) Never Stop Riding

Hold on to your seat. The ride never ends.

4) Like Terminator or Something

I’m writing in nostalgia of a now lost past, and fear of an uncertain future. You know, like Terminator or something.

5) Fighting in a Maelstrom of Pettiness

The ugliness on both sides, and the villains, and heroes, all fighting in a maelstrom of pettiness for a future that doesn’t care for them.

6) Something Larger in the Vacuum

While on the surface it just seems like trolls feeding trolls, death threats, and angry nerds on the surface, the picture painted is of something larger moving through the cultural vacuum that is the modern west.

7) Calculated and Painful

We were scattered by a well calculated and painful defeat.

8) Like Many a Writers Have Commented

4chan is probably, and like many a writers have commented before us, one of the most important websites of its type in the English world; known even to have affected how other unrelated websites published content and worked.

9) Not Technically Illegal

Despite being a minor, a majority of Poole’s early updates to 4chan were adding explicit boards. Many critics claimed the content of these boards were of borderline legality. Originally in /b/, and later /h/ (hentai) and /d/ (hentai/alternative), anime pornography of children (lolikon) and anime pornography depicting extreme fetishes such as necrophilia (guro). Poole responded to these complaints, by reminding them that this type of pornography is not technically illegal, and the content would not be removed.

So what will this new masterpiece be called? Well, there have been many suggestions so far. A few of my favorites:

1984Chan – The Rise and Fall of 4Chan

The point is MOOT (moot does not mean what you think it means) -40 keks

Our Kampf

So whats the deal with 4chan?

To Reign in Hell: The Fall from Grace

The Willing Executioners

Poole’s Closed

404 – (Chronicle of the Executioners), (4chan Not Found), (Freedom Failed to  `  Load), (Freedom Not Found)

The Caliphate of the Internet

To Kill |Crush| a |Mocking| Cloverleaf

Ooh, someone took high school English!

The heroes who rose from the pariahs

Tales of the struggles of modern-day Huckleberry Finns

Oh, yet another High School graduate!

How we tried and slew Leviathan

How to win friends and crash your community, by MOOT

We are piss babies who like to suck diaper farts

I don’t think that last one was meant completely  seriously.

(I am also aware that the bit about the Terminator was probably added by a troll.)

H/T — To Literally Who herself for pointing me to this literary masterpiece. She is also organizing a crowdsourced dramatic reading of the book’s prologue.

BONUS: Here are a few more of the proposed book covers.

4chanbooccov2

4chanbookcov3

4chanbookcov4

 

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Lea
Lea
7 years ago

Let’s take a walk through no man’s land.

Really? No man’s land? Do you think they even know what that is?

Gamergate is not WWI. They are not risking their lives. What a bunch of whiny turds.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
7 years ago

@contrapangloss

Nice work! Needs more metaphor mixing though, and a lot more passive voice.

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

A place of pure anarchy is never a place of pure freedom. It’s the boot of the biggest bully stamping on everyone else’s face forever.

Ah, and here’s the rub. When it’s carefully calculated anarchy mitigated through a website paid for by someone else(and with automatically “enforced” anonymity), the negative effect is disguised. The bullies are limited to generic trolling.

They don’t get to see the more basic human alliance forming, petty ongoing squabbles, and line toeing that happens the moment the facade of anonymity drops away. Throw in physical, directed violence, like the real world has and suddenly you start getting governments and democracies and armies and police.

And cultural critics like feminists.
And people who stand up for others.

And basically everything else 4chan/gamergate hates. 4chan gives this false impression of anarchy as something that can function.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

Buttercup Q. Skullpants,
Worse. It’s the yarn and Barbie hair of beater brush wrapping.

They don’t use the phrase “black people.”

http://media2.giphy.com/media/12ClTeBg4yvkiI/200_s.gif

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Have they adopted slender man as their mascot? That’s how it looks to me, except I didn’t think slender man was red….

I thought it was a bad rendition of Freddy Kruger.

M. Tremblay
M. Tremblay
7 years ago

kirbywarp wins my eternal admiration for daring to look at the thing. Kudos to you, dude or dudette!

A legitimate review of GG’s book is the last thing GG would want, because it would have to examine the book’s content, and judging from kirbywarp’s comments, all my money says the only positive reviews would come from Vox Day, or Milo Yannopoulos, or maybe that guy with the cigar (I’m too lazy to look up his name, so there). I foretell that anyone pointing out the Jewish conspiracy theories and “not using the phrase “black people” “- euphemism of the year right here, kirbywarp! – will put the reviewer on the “Send Murder and Rape Threats” list for the horrid crime of pointing out the obvious.

Let’s see… Gamergaters want reviewers to stop looking at game content and limit their reviews to counting pixels. So what would a GG-approved book review look like? “Has lots of words, would read again, 10/10 -IGN”?

Ice and Indigo
Ice and Indigo
7 years ago

Ah, mixed metaphors. If you’re “drowned by liars who could only just grasp the lowest bars of the social ladder”, that ain’t a sea you’re in, boys. It’s a swimming pool.

Seems an appropriate confusion, somehow.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

@tcwill00

I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be a variation of Anonymous, the green-skinned Slendy lookalike in the last cover. Though it took me a few minutes to realise that it wasn’t the Red Skull. =P

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

A gamergate-approved review would probably focus solely on the technical aspects of writing, like grammar, and forgo any comment on the content. Unless it’s a feminist book, in which case that book isn’t real literature and mixes politics with writing, which one should never ever do.

Of course, even by gamergate standards, the writers realize they are failing.

Please take an English course that isn’t creative writing. Do you know what purple prose is? Its idiots writing things like ‘an endless sea of ones and zeroes’. Its not appropriate for the kind of message you’re trying to get across. Just tell the goddamn story without being so full of yourself. Take the fedora off and pretend you’re a normal human being and not enlightened by your own intelligence.

phasma
phasma
7 years ago

Oh well, I see they are trying to channel nazis really hard.
At least they’ve somehow managed not to include their awful rape ‘joke’ in the covers which is…a progress, after all. I think?

GOBACK (@JoeKlemmer)
7 years ago

Sorry, but my Obsessive/Compulsive Behavior (OCB) mandates that I fix this…

That should be “Unser Kampf”!

Ok, I’m better now.

A Wolverine
A Wolverine
7 years ago

I’ll believe 4chan has gone SJW when /pol/ and /r9k/ get deleted and the long standing “NO RACISM” rule actually gets enforced.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

@phasma:

Guess again. Can’t really link to it, but one of the covers has a face with purple and green on it.

On another note, looks like someone’s decided to start vandalizing the book, deleting most of the content and replacing it with a giant ASCII dong.

sunnysombrera
7 years ago

@M Temblay. If the games industry and gaming publications were both forced to cater to these guys I imagine reviews would look like this: “Big guns go bang and bad guys die! Female NPCs have bouncy titties! High resolution ‘splosions!”

Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Are these guys the type of idiot lads I would try and talk about games with in school, who were obsessed with graphics? Like seriously, I’d recommend a game based on content, story and even dialogue but they’d be all “Naw it’s crap because GRAPHICS!” Needless to say they would be endlessly excited about first person shooters or mother fucking FIFA. ALWAYS FIFA. IT’S JUST FOOTBALL YOU FOOLS.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

@sunny

Ah, yes. FIFA, the ultimate in graphics.

http://i.imgur.com/GAlYklV.gif

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

@M.

O_O

*inhales*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

ignorantianescia
ignorantianescia
7 years ago

Hah, someone reworked this quote a little:

While on the surface it just seems like trolls feeding trolls, death threats, and angry nerds on the surface, the picture painted is of something larger moving through the cultural vacuum that is the modern west did I say culture vaccuum I meant this is all over indulgent self wankery

vbillings
7 years ago

What’s with the Flashdance type? For a bunch of children, their book designs are sure stuck in the 80s.

maistrechat
7 years ago

Perhaps they could put a Buddhist peace symbol on the cover as well, just to make it clear that their intentions are nothing but benign?

applause

Puddleglum
7 years ago

I adore the trolls who are fully exercising their freeze peach in this crowdsource book.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

i dl’ed a copy of the magnum opus in pdf before the ascii vandalism, to preserve for all time

Dodom
Dodom
7 years ago

[quote]If they actually managed to get it published and the someone were to review it, a whole new front in the war would open in the outraged aftermath: ethics in book reviewalism.[/quote]

http://groupthink.jezebel.com/richard-brittain-violently-assaults-book-reviewer-1649170122

It wouldn’t be a first for the manosphere!

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

although, the updated, vandalized version does seem to paint a more accurate picture of gg.

ignorantianescia
ignorantianescia
7 years ago

GamerGate: trying to captivate the general public… with all sorts of horrible stuff (3rd par). Do these people really think awfulness like this works?

CH 4: A brief history of the Social Justice movement in the US (include backers and key players). [might want a brief definition/history of cultural marxism and its ties to the social justice movement] throw in definition of oppression olympics for good measure.
words to define: privilege, oppression, racism (SJW definition)… more?
Begin by outlining SJW’s stance on the issue, try to follow on with their idea that patriarchy is everywhere. We could outright dismiss it because it’s accusing human cis males of being, well, human cis males, or we could follow up on their line of thinking – if we do, explain that it’s not men’s fault women can look like/BE sluts or trans or shit like that, it’s jews/ruling class’s fault. Be extremely cautious here, it’s a slippery slope.
Describe SJW’s influence in comic books and the like and how it came to be, list reasons why gamers started to show active resistance in light of attempts on their hobby. Outline why SJW’s are wrong, support it with evidence, mention the statement of equity feminist, Christina Sommers, on the matter. Make a brief remark on how various delusions that SJW’s perpetuate are be encouraged by gaming press, follow on it in later chapters.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

… explain that it’s not men’s fault women can look like/BE sluts or trans or shit like that, it’s jews/ruling class’s fault.

… They really, really have no idea what “SJWs” actually think, do they. Like, I’m pretty sure that the Confused Cats understand feminism better than these clowns do.

Also, for all the idiotic stereotypes and conspiracy theories regarding Jewish people, “Mad scientists who’ve invented a gender identity ray” must be a new one.

Vanir (@Vanir85)
7 years ago

Hmmm… I see very little that is about ethics in games journalism. What scraps is written, mostly seems to be whining about liberated women not crawling to men, crying about the world not being stuck in the dark ages, and self-pity over society no longer being all about sucking the d*ck of white dudes.

Basically, you get gems like this;
“explain that it’s not men’s fault women can look like/BE sluts or trans or shit like that, it’s jews/ruling class’s fault.”

So, women having freedom is not men’s FAULT, it’s the fault of “the Jüden”?

In other words:

1) Women having freedom is bad (because then they will no longer be pleasure-bots?)
2) It is not men’s fault (men DON’T want women to be free, this is a good thing, for men)
3) The Jews are behind it! (wow, it was you guys? well, if any of you read this.. thx!)

… who are they writing this for?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

i like how “men” and “jews/ruling class” are mutually-exclusive categories for them.

this tells me that they are using the word “men” to refer to a specific subset of male humans, and they think that this is actually normal and does not need to be explained at all.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
7 years ago

Oh, this is totally amazing, like something larger moving through a vacuum. Or maybe the Terminator, I’m not sure.

But I am pretty certain that these guys should get out of their basements once in a while. There are many benefits of fresh air and direct contact, even if brief, with real live people.

Vanir (@Vanir85)
7 years ago

“i like how “men” and “jews/ruling class” are mutually-exclusive categories for them.”

oh, come ON.

EVERYONE knows Jews are evil-lizard-space-aliens in disguise!

schwadevivre
7 years ago

For certain classes of haters it is always the Jews. P Z Myers has just booted a 9/11 troofer who seems to think that atheists hating on Muslims and Christians was part of some plot to hide the true evil – Jews.

chaltab
chaltab
7 years ago

So I made this. http://imgur.com/t8VnOgc

A Wolverine
A Wolverine
7 years ago

@Policy of Madness
Funny, because no one would EVER call a gater a Mensch

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
7 years ago

“I’m writing in nostalgia of a now lost past, and fear of an uncertain future. You know, like Terminator or something.”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AuUqpZgHiEE#

I want to make a meme of Nathan Poe but can’t find a picture of him.

Chaltab
Nice

vaiyt
7 years ago

This is exactly what I would expect from the sub-literates of /pol/ trying to write a book. Fun how they can’t cite any “equity feminist” besides Sommers, even though conservative shills have been using that term for quite a while.

vaiyt
7 years ago

For certain classes of haters it is always the Jews.

It’s impressive how many conspiracy theories always come down to Teh Joooooz if you poke deep enough.

ignorantianescia
ignorantianescia
7 years ago

They really, really, should go name their dumb book “Unser Kampf”. It would be exactly what it says on the tin. And it would take less effort for Germany to place a (ineffective) ban on it.

We need lots of evidence here. Screenshots, factual connections. leave Jewspiracies out of it unless you have concrete to back it up. This is the meat of this story, don’t fuck it up.

CH 7: Moot sells out. Talk about his new jewess girlfriend, the censorship of threads, the mass exodus from 4chan to other places. (mass exodus meaning about 20 of you losers)Present facts – moot posts without a trip since 28 June 2012, http://archive.moe/_/search/username/Moot/tripcode/!Ep8pui8Vw2/capcode/admin/
present facts for the opposing side of the argument – may have been mods/other admins, these screencaps of that mod who was supposedly purged, explain that while we lack decisive evidence (moot’s trip, #faggot => !Ep8pui8Vw2) to figure out that it’s him, there were connections (his private twitter, @THE_REAL_MOOT) that lead from him to SJW’s – his friend and supposed-SUPPOSED-girlfiend work at gawker. While again, no decisive evidence (there can’t be any in the first place, except the twitter), the correlation of the facts that we have (screencaps and moot’s relation to gawker) is very, very suspicious.

Did these people recruit their writers from Stormfront? O_o

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Giving a critical review of the gamergate book would be almost as evil ad spell checking Mein Kampf!

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

chapter 1, listed as complete, is literally 4 pages, of which 1 page is the bibliography. no mention of journalistic ethics

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

Their suggestion for fixing their PR problems is to blame a nefarious Jewish conspiracy? These guys are starting to make JudgyBitch look competent.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
7 years ago

Well, all my fellow mammotheer nanonovelists: whatever crap you may be been writing the past month, it can’t be worse than this.

It can’t be.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

it’s not until chapter 5 that gg is even mentioned. some soul has added to the end of the chapter outline:

Be sure to include that review that totally exists that no one can ever link to!

chapter 6 mentions journalism entirely in the context of those “end of gamers” articles, which really got under someone’s skin.

chapter 7 is apparently dedicated to moot kicking gg off 4chan and how terribly upset this made them all.

chapter 9:

Talk about the growth of our new chan. Don’t mention it by name.

8chan is apparently the chan that dare not speak its name?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

this made me lol

CH 10: Epilogue? Contributions? /pol/ is always right ← end with: Of all the sad words madewith paper and pen, the saddest would have to be “/pol/ was right again.”

(Chapter 10’s /pol/ is always right is not recommended.
Definite way to turn people off.)

If they made it this far I don’t think that would turn them off.

this book is very poorly structured (the chronological format = super boring) but i hope more gets done. that was an entertaining 10 minutes.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

Ooh, this reminds me… is gamergate still trying to piece together a wikipedia artilce?

hmm… ooh, they are! The talk page makes for fun reading.

A Wolverine
A Wolverine
7 years ago

@ignorantianescia
“moot couldnt possibly have decided we were shitting up the place on his own, must have been his possibly^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H definitely jewish girlfriend”

and it has to be fucking repeated again.
ALL OF THE WORST BOARDS THAT THESE SHITCHEWERS CAME FROM ARE STILL FUCKING THERE AND STILL JUST AS AWFUL.

EVEN IF MOOT FINALLY DID NUKE THEM THAT STILL WOULDNT BE CENSORSHIP.

P.S: ORWELL WAS A SOCIALIST.
P.P.S: sorry for the capslock

10knives
10knives
7 years ago

I honestly can’t tell if this is a troll, a Poe, or just some kind of hallucination of mine – including the words I’m typing RIGHT NOW.

Bogdan Cvetkovic
7 years ago

Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Are these guys the type of idiot lads I would try and talk about games with in school, who were obsessed with graphics? Like seriously, I’d recommend a game based on content, story and even dialogue but they’d be all “Naw it’s crap because GRAPHICS!” Needless to say they would be endlessly excited about first person shooters or mother fucking FIFA. ALWAYS FIFA. IT’S JUST FOOTBALL YOU FOOLS.

Seems to be so. They really do remind me of my bullies in middle school who would call anyone they didn’t like a “faggot”. The worst insult in bullies’ vocabulary was to call someone “gay” or a “pussy”. The coolest thing to do for them was to kill a virtual prostitute playing Grand Theft Auto. Graphics meant everything. The world was devided in a spectrum of “cool” versus “gay”. The “coolest” things were Halo and GTA. The “gayest” thing was Micheal Jackson (the molestation allegations were all the rage at the time).

blanktie
blanktie
7 years ago

Jesus, are they still trying to look like the heroes in this story? Because that first book cover (at the bottom) looks scary as hell. Where are his eyes??!

vaiyt
7 years ago

CH 7: Moot sells out.

CH 7.00001: Nobody cares.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
7 years ago

I don’t know about the first red face guy, but the 2nd one is definitely a re-colored Gentleman from Buffy.

Bogdan Cvetkovic
7 years ago

And while we’re at it, what’s with anonymous troll communities like 4chan and extreme right wing ideology that borders on fascism? For the love of Lucifer’s long and pointy goatee they’re suggesting Unser Kamf as the title of a book about their history, and their language is loaded is fascist rhetoric.

The thing I don’t understand is where do anonymous dudes on the internet like on 4chan and extreme right wing ideology come together. I’m really curious to see if any research has been done in the area. It’s fascinating and disturbing at the same time.

Maybe there isn’t an interesting link. It could be that ideologues are just purposefully using the internet as a medium to spread their bile. Websites like 4chan and Reddit may simply be convenient places for them. I don’t know.

It is interesting to also discuss YouTube and the “atheist community” there. The dominant ideology is that of “vulgar libertarianism” (as HannibaltheVictor13 and SequesterZone put it). It’s basically extreme capitalism and propertarianism. And very often its adherents defend the status quo. The only time they really care of making change is when it involves atheists.

Another YouTube user called TheAzov called libertarianism “fascism lite”. The label may be extreme but he does have a point considering how fascism and corporatism are kissing cousins. Once more, I don’t see the inherent connection between extreme right wing ideologies and YouTube. It would be enlightening if someone did research on the topic.