So the Associated Press is reporting that Charles Manson, everyone’s favorite orchestrator of mass murder, is planning to marry. His future bride is a 26-year-old groupie who’s been trying to convince the world for nine years that Charlie is innocent.
According to one self-proclaimed dating expert and regular contributor to Return of Kings, the fact that “the 80-year-old murderer is marrying a hotter girl than [nice guys will] ever get,” is proof that guys need to start channelling their own inner Charles Manson in order to become the “bad boy” that women really go for.
As “Trouble Maker” puts it,
This woman is just an extreme case, but her actions in this case largely represent the way woman act as a whole. There is just no resisting the panty moistening allure of the bad boy for them. …
She’s definitely cute, at least in these pictures being spread around by the media. …
Meanwhile, the stable computer programmer is left running macros on POF [Plenty of Fish] in hopes that he catches a whale.
I actually sort of hope that would-be pickup artists start tattooing swastikas on their foreheads. It would make them a lot easier to identify at a glance.
Okay, if those mice were ROUS-big, they would be absolutely terrifying.
I KNEW this was coming. When I saw this story I just KNEW one of those head-in-the-sand, all-women-do-xyz-things disgusting men was going to come out and say SEEEE SOO ALLLPHAAAAA!!! about this sick mess.
But, I’m not entirely psychic y’all. I suspected it would be Heartiste/Roissy, whatever the hell you call that one. This kinda ugly crap is just what fuels his fire.
Wait maybe I am psychic after all. That Roissy sumbitch picked this up and even wrote some Dr Suess-y poem about it. That I didn’t entirely read, just scanned over. “Women like jerks, some like them in bed, some like them dead”, whatever it was.
For those still reeling from the Jack Thompson bit, I’ve invited a GamerGator to explain why censorship is okay when Thompson tries it via lawsuits, but not okay when Anita does something that almost but not really resembles it if you have several drinks of Tennessee white lightning and then squint a lot:
(Note: I don’t expect GamerGators to get trans-friendly language correct, I’m afraid. They’d have to remove their heads from their rectums for far too long to manage that.)
If being the worst sort of person makes a man irresistible to women, then why are all of these PUAs working so hard to get laid? Shouldn’t they be swimming in throngs of adoring hot lady fans? Shouldn’t they be having so much sex that they have to keep a water cooler full of Gatorade next to their beds?
You’d think one of them would catch on.
From an old, largely forgotten webcomic called The Parking Lot is Full:
http://plif.courageunfettered.com/archive/wc132.gif
By the time Buffy grew too big to eat mice, she was hungry for only one thing— diplomats!
Yeah, PLiF tended to be rather surreal. Warning, some of the rest of the archives are NSFW.
Sounds like you want a Rottwieler or a Dogo.
The only danger in a late supper is getting knocked around by the Snoopy Dance, but otherwise I think one of those would do. 😉
Buttercup:
ROFL!
Falconer – ah, how could I have forgotten the Killer Shrews! Ancestors of the Rodents of Unusual Size, surely.
Eowyn, the southern grasshopper moust, OMG!
Let’s see if this embeds …
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-5519-Giant-Housecat-JBnh.gif
This is the best kitteh evah!
As my cousin used to say, “Have you ever tried teaching a two year old Rottweiler that she’s not a lapdog anymore?”
That kitteh’s amazing, isn’t it? 🙂
I just hope it doesn’t have scaled-up fleas.
Oh lor’, that reminds me of the story of two – TWO – of Louis’s mastiffs leaping onto the bed with him, back in the day. Being able to breathe, who needs it?
Aw, I want a giant kitty pillow.
Can you imagine trying to vacuum up all the cat fur and get it off your clothes though?
Acceptable real-life substitute?
http://i.imgur.com/D3alDwt.jpg
Dawwwwwwwwwwwww
Awwwwww!
The article seems to suggest she’s marrying him mostly in hopes of getting access to more info for her weirdass obsessive quest, not because she’s particularly in love with him. Plus, Manson’s not even allowed conjugal visits, so…
@Tulgey Logger
That reminds me of after the Isla Vista killings, when some PUA jackass or another claimed Elliot Rodger’s rampage could’ve been prevented if he’d been taught game.
Oh, it’s in the related articles.
Oh dear, I appear to have melted from the cute.
I wonder if a cat that size would be like one of those vibrating chairs/beds, just lay next to it and the purrs give you a nice massage.
And then it stuns you with its paw and bites your head off.
It’d be a vigorous massage, given how big the kitty is. Plus you might get seasick being tossed about on that big belly as it breathes.
@ceebarks: “The article seems to suggest she’s marrying him mostly in hopes of getting access to more info for her weirdass obsessive quest, not because she’s particularly in love with him. Plus, Manson’s not even allowed conjugal visits, so…”
I heard this version too. There’s definitely more going on than what meets the eye. I shouldn’t poke fun, but I heard about this at lunch and I couldn’t help laughing even though I think the story is a very serious one.
http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/good-luck-at-thanksgiving-explaining-why-youre-still-single-and-charles-manson-isnt-fab31.png
Think of the hairballs a kitty that size would cough up! O__o
@ceebarks Yeah, she seems to be on a quixotic campaign to prove his innocence. That seems to be a common refrain with women who gravitate to “bad boys” – poor baby is misunderstood by society, and they want to fix and rescue him. Only they can see how gentle and sensitive he really is underneath that rough exterior, blah blah. It isn’t about the bad-boy thing. It’s about rescuing a wounded bird.
The idea that women are innately attracted to evil and abuse is absurd.