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Charles Manson, dating coach?

Charles Manson, Alpha Male of the Cell block?
Charles Manson, Alpha Male of the Cell block?

So the Associated Press is reporting that Charles Manson, everyone’s favorite orchestrator of mass murder, is planning to marry. His future bride is a 26-year-old groupie who’s been trying to convince the world for nine years that Charlie is innocent.

According to one self-proclaimed dating expert and regular contributor to Return of Kings, the fact that “the 80-year-old murderer is marrying a hotter girl than [nice guys will] ever get,” is proof that guys need to start channelling their own inner Charles Manson in order to become the “bad boy” that women really go for.

As “Trouble Maker” puts it,

This woman is just an extreme case, but her actions in this case largely represent the way woman act as a whole. There is just no resisting the panty moistening allure of the bad boy for them. …

She’s definitely cute, at least in these pictures being spread around by the media. …

Meanwhile, the stable computer programmer is left running macros on POF [Plenty of Fish] in hopes that he catches a whale.

I actually sort of hope that would-be pickup artists start tattooing swastikas on their foreheads. It would make them a lot easier to identify at a glance.

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Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
10 years ago

Manson would probably have been a PUA if the idea had existed when he was young, in my opinion. Not long ago there was an interview on Fresh Air with Jeff Guinn, who wrote a book about the guy. Guinn says that Manson memorized passages from “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” sought out pimps in prison to learn their techniques for controlling women, and deliberately sought out vulnerable young women to prey upon. Had the “Game” books that existed now been available to him, he probably would have consumed them voraciously.

chronic lurker
chronic lurker
10 years ago

“We should have some brilliant sort clone them! And set them loose and they can turn on their cloners! It’ll be great! Jurassic park did it! We’ll be the next Jurassic park, but with SABERTOOTHED TIGERS!”

Hey! I know what I want to do for my undergraduate research project now!

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

I’d actually really like to do a Walking Dead sorta post-apocalyptia show but, instead of zombies, megafauna. That’s reasonable, right?

chronic lurker
chronic lurker
10 years ago

Or ZOMBIFIED MEGAFAUNA! 😀 Then they can eat the scientist’s brains and gain sentience, and then start hunting down humans with AK-47s and fighter jets.

chronic lurker
chronic lurker
10 years ago

The mammoths could hold the machine guns with their trunks.

chronic lurker
chronic lurker
10 years ago

And the machine gun wielding mammoths can chase down all the MRA’s who claim to have hunted them, and then smash the patriarchy like it has never been smashed before!

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
10 years ago

@marinerachel I believe you were ninja’d on that megafauna idea by Blue Gender

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

My buddy suggested we take the symbol Prince used instead of a name for a while and tweak it slightly so it looks more mammoth-y (it already looks a little mammoth-like) and use it to refer to ourselves as The Blog Formerly known as Manboobz.

Bina
10 years ago

Anyone else think that girl looks unsettingly like Susan Atkins?

Yes! And didn’t she recently die of cancer, or some such?

Nequam
Nequam
10 years ago

Atkins died in 2009, for what that’s worth.

BarnBurner
BarnBurner
10 years ago

This sort of thing is an American women phenomenon. It is by no means global or ‘natural’

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Those terrible American women are oppressing BarnBurner again. Will they never stop?

BarnBurner
BarnBurner
10 years ago

If there were thousands of Mansons, that could be oppressive. But, its not that bad.

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

He makes “American women” sound like a slur, no?

Alais
10 years ago

I like how, when given the choice between potentially not scoring with a hot chick and becoming a mass murderer (it’s a false dilemma, granted, but they don’t seem to see it that way), the obvious choice is to be come or at least act like a mass murderer.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Oh no, you’re wrong, they want to oppress you. Think of them, right here on this blog, waiting to throw scented candles at you.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Someone even wrote a song about it for you! Hopefully it will make you feel better.

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

Ah, no way, I was seconds away from posting The Guess Who. You beat me, Cassandra!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

There must be other songs about the evil American ladies and their desire to make his life into a pit of misery and despair.

(Well, more than it is already.)

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
10 years ago

The megafauna SF ideas were much more interesting.

I’m all into anything that has sabertooth lions in it. Does anyone have any recommendations?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

I want something like Deep Blue Sea, but for an animal that isn’t inherently scary at all. Like a bunch of people in a lab all peeing themselves in terror over souped up giant bunnies or something.

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

Giant bunnies? Yeah, they did that — Night of the Lepus. DeForrest Kelly, aka, Dr. McCoy from Star Trek was in it. Part of the ’70s eco-horror genre. I saw it. It was funny as hell.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
10 years ago

Well, being a Mammotheer, my first thought was housecats, but giant housecats would be legit frightening.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Something to add to the Netflix list then. Hopefully it will be funnier than Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, which was hilarious in theory but boring in execution (though with a great theme song).