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Charles Manson, dating coach?

Charles Manson, Alpha Male of the Cell block?
Charles Manson, Alpha Male of the Cell block?

So the Associated Press is reporting that Charles Manson, everyone’s favorite orchestrator of mass murder, is planning to marry. His future bride is a 26-year-old groupie who’s been trying to convince the world for nine years that Charlie is innocent.

According to one self-proclaimed dating expert and regular contributor to Return of Kings, the fact that “the 80-year-old murderer is marrying a hotter girl than [nice guys will] ever get,” is proof that guys need to start channelling their own inner Charles Manson in order to become the “bad boy” that women really go for.

As “Trouble Maker” puts it,

This woman is just an extreme case, but her actions in this case largely represent the way woman act as a whole. There is just no resisting the panty moistening allure of the bad boy for them. …

She’s definitely cute, at least in these pictures being spread around by the media. …

Meanwhile, the stable computer programmer is left running macros on POF [Plenty of Fish] in hopes that he catches a whale.

I actually sort of hope that would-be pickup artists start tattooing swastikas on their foreheads. It would make them a lot easier to identify at a glance.

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Puddleglum
10 years ago

The fact that they are admiring a mass murderer’s dating technique… wow.

I’m also putting my vote in for a new fashion trend of PUAs tattooing really crappy hate tattoos on their faces.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

@puddleglum:

That technique being “be a murderer with groupies.”

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Also, I don’t want to appearance snark and I agree that the new Mrs Manson is quite conventionally pretty, but in terms of the overall impression she gives off, let’s just say she looks exactly what I’d imagine someone who’d want to marry Charles Manson to look like. Her eyes, they scare me.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

It kind of blows my mind that these guys are jealous of Charles Manson just because he got laid and has female followers. No matter how low these guys sink, they manage to find a lower place.

Besides having a bevy of female followers, here are some of the highlights of Manson’s life.

– Neglected as a child. In and out of homes for troubled boys. Manson is the surname of one of his stepfathers. He doesn’t even know who his bio dad is.

– Once he reached adulthood, he was in and out of jail for various crimes like robbery and check forging

– In his thirties he moved to San Francisco where he was able to latch onto the hippie culture and drift around until he acquired a few followers. Eventually they landed in Spahn ranch where they lived in squalor and had to steal and beg to feed and clothe themselves.

– Failed musician who despite making a couple of connections in the industry like Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys was not able to ever get a record deal. In fact, resentment of this may have triggered the murders.

– Has been in prison since being convicted of the murders. That’s over forty years in prison in addition to all the time he spent inside

Does that sound like a life anyone would want? Okay, so he spent a few years getting sex from a bunch of women who by the way, were known for having a lot of STIs and probably didn’t shower or shave their body hair too much while squatting on the ranch. So what?

Bina
10 years ago

If you want to know more about the computer programmer, his name is Chris McKinlay. He used the university mainframe that he was supposed to be using for his PhD thesis to hack OkCupid. Because obviously it’s also perfectly ethical to misuse university property.

Ah yes, I remember him. It seems a rather costly way of proving that quantity ≠ quality. And I can’t imagine his seniors approving this, either.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

@WWTH, ironically, Manson has not got laid – he’s ineligible for conjugal visits.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
10 years ago

I also am confused about why anyone would want to write a program that would pretty much guarantee painfully awkward dates where the other person is disappointed to meet them.

To be fair, they’re going to be disappointed to meet the kind of guy who would do something that idiotic, desperate and assholish either way. =P

Catalpa
Catalpa
10 years ago

“A small number of women date/marry convicted serial killers! This means all women naturally love bad boys!”

“A small number of men ARE convicted serial killers! This says absolutely nothing about the natural inclinations of all men and how dare you even imply that some people can find men threatening or intimidating for good reason you shrieking misandrist harpy!”

Gotta love MRA logic..

(Note- I’m not saying that the existence of male serial killers means that ALL MEN are inherently violent, just for those playing at home.)

Catalpa
Catalpa
10 years ago

Oh no the two-dot ellipses has infected me! I must cleanse myself now.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

bad grammar on my part…by “they” I meant the family not exclusively the women

I guess my little sister was right…I suck at making jokes

Sorry I misread.

I do find it interesting that most of the time the media focuses on his female followers though. I guess female murderers are more sensationalistic. I think that focus is a big contributor to people still admiring him all these years later though. The media built up this mystique around him. He always had plenty of male followers too and people tend to forget that.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
10 years ago

Male violence is the greatest human rights crisis the world has ever know.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Presumably you already have the scented candles ready for the ritual.

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

Also, did anyone else notice the creepy resemblence to Paul Elam? Or maybe Paul is basing his beard grooming choices on Manson.

And speaking of serial killers – can I pick the collective brain? I saw a movie many years ago, possibly a made-for-tv movie about a serial killer that I can’t find again for the life of me. The main bits I remember are – he killed boys and buried them in his yard, and when a motorcycle cop came to the farm he killed him and buried him AND his motorbike. You’d think that last detail would be distinctive enough to google for, but nope. I mostly want to know if it was based on a true story…

Catalpa
Catalpa
10 years ago

Presumably you already have the scented candles ready for the ritual.

But of course! I still have some from the goodie bag that they gave out at the last meeting of the shadowy cladestine feminist overlords.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
10 years ago

It is. Angelina Jolie I think was the mom in the story of her missing boy. The police gave her a different boy and the whole thing led to finding out about this farm where they brutalized the boys they kidnapped. I will look it up. Just a sec.

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

Paul and Charles do look like brothers, don’t they?

I wonder is Paul is earn Charles’ respects yet.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

You’re thinking of The Changeling @thebewiderness.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
10 years ago

Changeling is the film and the Wineville Murders are what it is kinda sorta about.

Puddleglum
10 years ago

But of course! I still have some from the goodie bag that they gave out at the last meeting of the shadowy cladestine feminist overlords.

I had the two-dot ellipsis curse myself the other day, and I definitely recommend placing the lit candle on a hard chair. Penguins are still optional.

diana6815
10 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger

I think the public finds violence perpetrated by women more sensational because it happens less frequently (according to the statistics anyway…don’t quote me on this, but, if I remember correctly, 80%-85% of violence in the United States is committed by males and 90% of serial killers are males).

Honestly, I wasn’t trying to diminish the roles of his male followers or suggest there weren’t any male followers. I was just pointing out that there was a high female to male ratio in his ‘family’ … so that would suggest a high percentage of Charles Manson’s ‘work’ was actually performed by women…which should be a turn-off for alpha male loving MRAs/PUAs.

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

I remember that bit in Changeling. I’ll have to watch it again to see if it is the same movie… my googling has actually turned up someone else asking the exact same question. The answer there is a mini-series called Chiefs, which seems to only be available on VHS… do people still buy video cassettes?

diana6815
10 years ago

No one mention penguins (please). I’m was recently traumatized by a video I was ‘tricked’ into watching. It also involved a seal.

Shalimar
Shalimar
10 years ago

The lesson I drew from this is that even physically gorgeous women can be so completely nuts that you wouldn’t want to waste a second of your life with them. I did not look at her and think, “she’s hot, I would do her. Maybe if I boil a live rabbit and send her a gif of it, she’ll go out with me.”

diana6815
10 years ago

Clearly I’m still disturbed by the memory… “I’m was” … such bad grammar. Apologies.

Puddleglum
10 years ago

@diana6815, no problem, there are many videos out there I will never watch again.

@ various folks, gentle reminder, please don’t use ableist language.