Respects is Earn: A meme is born

@Bina – Respect is Owed when a Secretion is Spurned.

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/56296663.jpg

I tend to believe they are honestly confused about this, which to my mind is worse than if they are being disingenuous.

I’m pretty sure that common language use plays a part here. You’re much more likely to hear someone say “That’s disrespectful.” rather than “That’s rude” (or impolite or uncouth or discourteous).

This meme needs anagrams:

http://wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=respects+is+earn&t=1000&a=n

I have actually become very confused by the word respect lately. I was raised by a very traditional mother who demanded my respect because it was so writ in the ten commandments. Of course, what she meant by that was that she expected the highest levels of deference from me, that I should always believe her over everyone else, and that I should not expect kindness from her (it didn’t say anywhere in the ten commandments that you should be nice to your children, did it?) because she didn’t owe it to me. Of course, this reads more as the sort of relationship a King expects from a peasant, but that’s what I grew up with.

Then there is the literal definition of the word respect, which is “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements:”

So in the past, when someone has demanded my respect (usually in response to expressions of doubt, frustration, or disbelief coming from me) I start to bristle. There are very few people on the face of this earth that I respect in the way I understand the meaning of that word, and those I do have been as loyal to me as I’ve been to them for years, and even then I am no good at blind deference and have no desire to be. I don’t think blind deference leads to healthy relationships.

Now, the word respect has come to mean something more along the lines of “common human decency” or “basic politeness” and the dictionary hasn’t caught up. So while I believe these men who say things like “respect is earned” and mean things like “so I’ll just go ahead and treat you like trash until you prove you’re worthy” are total asshats and deserve no pity or patience from anyone who has to put up with them, I still have mixed feelings about the word. I actually don’t like it when people say that everyone deserves respect, because the version of the word I grew up with does have to be earned. Basic human decency, on the other hand, is what we should all be treated with unless we prove ourselves to be toxic.

tl:dr version: The word respect needs to pick a definition and stick with it, because I am confused.

(also, very apropos: A CREEPER’S SNITS)

Eek, I was ninja’d multiple times on the definition of respect debate! That’s what I get for not reading all the comments first.

I’ll just second Podkayne’s ideas of personal respect vs. respect for a group, culture, or boundaries in general. I certainly expect people to respect my personal boundaries, not because they are mine, but because everyone should have an inalienable right maintain those boundaries without being challenged on them.

I also might have to become one of those aggravating people who defines words such as respect and courtesy (like an academic paper) before I hold a conversation involving them, because the water there is just too muddy.

http://twitter.com/AlisondeNu/status/534579693005963264

My effort:
http://i.imgur.com/E3j5gwz.jpg

A stormtrooper.

So which denizen of the manosphere is Oscar? I’m tempted to say Roosh but perhaps that’s too obvious.

I broke the link! Do not shrilly demand a repost!

Cookie monster can sing quite well though, and his acting is less wooden.

GWW is Miss Piggy. 🙂