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Off-topic Poetry Korner: Don't Make Me Ralph

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Sometimes, when going through the mod filter here, I run across a bit of spam so wondrous I feel the need to share it with the world.

So here is a lovely little poem I got today, from an obscure poet named Ralph Lauren Sale.

On Sundays and holidays, paddleboats reveal to visitors
a unique view of everything one of the most beautiful Rio postcards
can offer. The banks of the lagoon contain one of
the best equipped leisure areas in the city and invite the visitor
to go walking, jogging or cycling on bicycles hired on the spot.

You will find brands like Allen Solly, Louis Philippe,
Van Heusen, Peter England People will be available
on the site. Keep a watch for all those amazing offers a .
ralph lauren sale
cheap ralph lauren ralph lauren sale uk ralph lauren uk sale men ralph lauren sale

It brings a tear to my eyes.

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leftwingfox
5 years ago

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou are more lovely and more temperate
and swimsuits are half off at The Bay.”

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Leftwingfox, I’d upvote that if I could.

The spambot’s beard is half-constructed.

ryeash
5 years ago

I love how the cat in the pic is in the process of bunny-kicking that book the hell off of it.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

The pure poetry of the free market!

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Since this is OT and has a kitty pic, look what I saw via Pharyngula. As someone rightly asked, “Greebo, how did you get to Japan and breed?”

http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljefu8zkrF1qzxlbjo1_500.jpg

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

The poetry is found,
if not PROfound.

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

Those are some nasty-ass cats!

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

I’m imagining the photo being found on the photographer’s camera, the only explanation for the bloodstains on the ground …

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

Since we’re OT I’m going to do some shameless self-promotion of my new tumblr – Where’s the cat at? where I photoshop pics of cats into other pics of places they weren’t.

Quite a few mammotheers have sent their cats on adventures, but I need more kitties. So if you want to pop over to the tumblr and submit your kitty, that would be awesome. Then your cat could be famous on the internet* just like Weirwoodtreehugger’s cat.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/0f1cc5d5f1208e7bb6f86fd08b7c3dc2/tumblr_ner28kHrQp1u36ebqo1_1280.jpg

*famous for very low values of fame.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

I love this. I hope you are getting lots of followers and plenty of submissions.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Kim, you picture of Little Caesar’s Cat is brilliant! <3

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

Those cats would be a great photoshop doing a Godzilla.

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

Glad you guys are liking it. I’m having a lot of fun doing them. πŸ™‚

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I think I’ll get on my phone soon and submit a pic of my mom’s ginger tabby Frankie. Hopefully I can find a useable one.

pallygirl
pallygirl
5 years ago

They’re great. πŸ™‚

Puddleglum
5 years ago

I take terrible cat pics. It may be because the black cat likes to sit on the black chair…

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Your black cat has obviously figured out the way to Not Be Seen, Puddleglum!

pallygirl
pallygirl
5 years ago

You have a Cheshire Cat, black variant. πŸ™‚

saphy
saphy
5 years ago

Is that your own Sweetie Pie wearing glasses, David?

sff9
sff9
5 years ago

Wow, I love the brutal interruption of the narrative mid-sentenceβ€”and then the enigmatic litany in the last stanza. Powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing.

Kim
Kim
5 years ago
skiriki
5 years ago

Ooooo sent in my pics. Hope they will do nicely.

Citizen Justin
Citizen Justin
5 years ago

My sister-in-law makes $600 a day… no, just kidding.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Love the giant kitties, Kim! Is that Urquhart Castle in the second pic?

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

It is kitteh, well spotted!

Citizen Justin – did she invent the one special trick? Or does she just use it to work from home?

skiriki – Your kitty is lovely and I already have an idea of where he will go.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Oh good! I thought it looked right. I visited it once. Great Ceiling Cat, but it was windy!

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Frankie at Stonehenge! Delightful!

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

How do you DO those shadows, Kim? I am all envious, they’re so realistic.

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

Thanks david πŸ™‚ Hope you’ll send me one of your cats.

@kitteh
Well, often I copy the shape of the shadow from the original pic if it suits, and try to match it to where the light is coming from in the new pic. And I set the layer to multiply and lower the opacity until it looks right.

And a new pic for skiriki

http://31.media.tumblr.com/ceca219b2f57eebac1a16f2a2842cc50/tumblr_nevi4rFHER1u36ebqo1_1280.jpg

skiriki
5 years ago

SQUEEE! Thank you Kim! THAT ROCKS! πŸ™‚

Elegantmule
Elegantmule
5 years ago

You do not do, you do not do
Anymore, black shoe
From Ralph Lauren

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

The pic of Frankie has taken off. Over 200 notes. I know that’s not huge in he greater scheme of things but it’s a lot for me. πŸ™‚

So I think the takeaway from it is, there is popular support for giant cats being sent to destroy monuments.

pallygirl
pallygirl
5 years ago

Popping off to look at your Tumblr again now. Thanks to you and David, I got a note from Tumblr that I have upvoted at least 50 post-things. πŸ™‚

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Go Frankie! He was in a shelter for four whole years before my mom adopted him because he’s timid and nobody wanted a really jumpy cat. Glad to see in his middle age he’s finally getting some love thanks to Kim’s photoshopping skills!

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

I think it is cumulative. I only have three or four hundred followers but something I said a year ago has seventeen thousand notes at last count. Things go round and round in ever widening circles.

pallygirl
pallygirl
5 years ago

I could be one of your followers too, thebewilderness, if you tell me your Tumblr blog name thing (I do technical definitions good).

If you don’t want to mention it here, David, Kitteh, and Emily have my email address.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

Sometimes I use thebewilderness and other times tehbewilderness cuz I want to be sure everyone knows when I am wearing a sock. On Tumblr I use teh.

pallygirl
pallygirl
5 years ago

And… followed! πŸ™‚

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

I followed you right back!

pallygirl
pallygirl
5 years ago

LOL, I don’t post anything. I just follow things I find interesting.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

I mostly reblog kitties.

pallygirl
pallygirl
5 years ago

That is a very useful reblogging function. πŸ™‚

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

@thebewilderness
Yeah, it’s like a giant pyramid scheme πŸ™‚ except without the downside

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Reblogging kitties is an excellent function for anything. It should be built in to all the sites. πŸ™‚