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#gamergate 8chan

#GamerGate's new theme song is possibly the worst thing unleashed on the internet since, well, #GamerGate

Brace yourself, because there’s really no way to prepare you for how terrible this song is.

The lyrics are a bit difficult to figure out using, you know, your ears, so watch this in fullscreen mode so you can read them.

And no, this isn’t a joke. It’s a serious song made by serious #GamerGaters on 8chan. See this thread, or the GamerGareSings Twitter, for more details.

They are hard at work on more of these.  A lot more. Here are a couple of works-in-progress. Put them in your ears if you dare.

Do they have a GamerGate version of Bohemian Rhapsody? Why yes, they do.

Do they have one dedicated to their imaginary girlfriend, Vivian James? Why yes, they do.

Wash all of this out of your brain with some awesome music from Kiss!

If only Kiss really did sound like this. If only the GamerGaters sounded like this!

 

 

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tinyorc
7 years ago

Lol, the fuck did I just listen to. It’s official, #GamerGate has become incomprehensible to anyone except #GameGate.

A person
A person
7 years ago

I predict that soon Jonathon Coulton will issue a statement distancing himself from this version of “Still Alive”

danielwalldammit
7 years ago

ick

Kimm
Kimm
7 years ago

Are you SURE that wasn’t a joke? Because it was pretty funny.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I never thought I’d say this, but they should talk to the dude who did the Fuck Your Shit Up song for AVFM. It was terrible, but at least you could understand the words and it wasn’t guilty of extreme vocaloid abuse.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Oh wow, they really weren’t kidding about the shitty vocals on the Bohemian Rhapsody one.

magnesium
7 years ago

Wasn’t the murderous robot voice in Portal the bad guy? Maybe they are becoming self aware, finally?

I’m not sure what the point of emailing Gawker sponsors was supposed to be… I guess they were really mad that a Gawker writer tweeted a joke about nerds? I mean, you have every right to boycott a publishing company if you take offence to the things they say, but don’t pretend you’re some bastion of “free speech”. They’re like an exaggerated, bizarro version of everything they accuse “SJW”s of being.

Although if they plan to stop harassing women, attacking game critics, and having tantrums on the internet so that they can focus their efforts on just being pains in the ass to Gawker, I don’t think anyone would mind much.

Andrew Johnston
7 years ago

@magnesium: Not only was Glados the bad guy, she was also a liar by her own admission. Every line in “Still Alive” is a lie, and I don’t feel that this was especially subtle. These guys who obsess over video games don’t seem like they understand them all that well.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

I still don’t understand what their beef with Gawker is? Is it that Jezebel exists, and Kotaku has occasional moments of “hey, maybe we should be a teeny bit less sexist (racism is still cool, though), or is this about Adrien Chen going after Violentacrez?

Andrew Johnston
7 years ago

One thing: Could someone here clue me in on what that crap about dropped sponsors was supposed to mean? They’re claiming some sort of victory here, and I’m not sure what it’s meant to be. Hell, I didn’t even think these idiots had an end game beyond “yell at people via Twitter.”

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

I find that first one amusing, because it’s based on “Still Alive”, sung by the rogue AI GLaDOS in the end credits of Portal 1. Just a leetle bit ironic that Gamergate would choose a song from a character who can be described as murderous and amoral at best.

zyvlyn
zyvlyn
7 years ago

This is a pretty fantastic example of missing the point of a parody. Still Alive was GlaDOS passive aggressively attacking the player for defeating her and saying she doesn’t care anyway because she still has so many awesome things to do.

Actually, this song fits gamergate disturbingly well. Are we sure this isn’t a joke? This is either a brilliant critique of gamergate or a product of a lack of awareness of such magnitude that I’m amazed it didn’t create a black hole and devour the Earth.

Amatyultare
Amatyultare
7 years ago

…okay, how did they make a voice synthesizer sing off-key?

(I want to say something witty about how this song is another example of GamerGaters equating themselves, apparently without irony, with THE VILLAIN of a piece of media, but really at this point what else is there to say? ‘Yes, here is this song sung from the perspective of a murderous power-mad AI angry at the woman who almost destroyed it in self-defense after said murderous AI, you know, killed a bunch of people. What a perfect representation of the #GG movement!’)

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
7 years ago

Damn, that is some seriously bad shit. Almost as bad as a horrible RAC “cover” of “Fight For Your Right (To Party)” I heard one time. Good job at being slightly better than neo-nazis skinheads, gg (you know, for those among you who are not neo-nazi skinheads, since there appears to be a fair bit of crossover between those two groups)?

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Do I dare to click that play button? Or do I heed the previous commenters and nopetopus out?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Being a skinhead would require actually shaving their heads occasionally, or getting someone else to do it for them, but of which seem like way too much effort for our trusty fedorakin to be willing to put into their appearance.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
7 years ago

@cassandrakitty: Can I give you an internet cookie? Because your post was magnificently hilarious. XD

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Oatmeal raisin, please! Misandering properly requires a lot of fiber.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
7 years ago

@cassandrakitty: Undoubtedly. How can you shit all over men, maleness, and general decency if you are constipated? XD

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131021140737/bakingrecipes/images/2/21/Chewy-oatmeal-raisin-cookies_(1).jpg

Nequam
Nequam
7 years ago

cassandra: “trusty” or “crusty”?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

@Nequam

Why can’t it be both?

Tortoiseshel
Tortoiseshel
7 years ago

I don’t think it’s a Vocaloid or any other synthesizer, they credited an actual vocalist and she commented on the video about it.

Which is very relieving to me because I love Vocaloid and don’t want it associated with this

cupisnique
7 years ago

I . . . what? What was that? I can’t even . . .

Why would they not be alive? How is that an inspirational message to other GGers? Are they trying to suggest they have legitimate fear of bodily harm? The hyperbole is astounding.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Perhaps they think that people habitually post terrible music on the internet from beyond the grave?

CJ
CJ
7 years ago

Huh. Apparently Poe’s Law also applies to Gamergaters.

Seriously, I can’t tell if this is a stealth parody or not.

magnesium
7 years ago

@cupisnique

A dude (was it Dan Golding? I can’t even keep track any more) wrote an article titled “Gamers are Dead”, or something along those lines. Leigh Alexander wrote a similar article around the same time, and even though she never used the phrase “gamers are dead”, GamerGate decided that:
a.) She did write “Gamers Are Dead”
b.) She meant that they are literally dead
c.) Being called literally dead is an insult of the highest orderer and something to get really, really angry about

They simply cannot get over it. They genuinely believe that they are oppressed by the very notion that they are no longer the sole target market of video games, and that some game journalists are merely suggesting that maybe the industry doesn’t need to cater directly to them 100% of the time. And thus, GamerGate.

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
7 years ago

I don’t know who this “RamTheDragon” is but…by God, I just want them to stop…

BarnBurner
BarnBurner
7 years ago

That is bad. But this is worse. Somehow, Paul Elam must be behind it.

http://youtu.be/GgU2LEPdpMc

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

What would they do if they couldn’t play their precious vidya for a month? If they couldn’t look at their circlejerk forums? Would they develop as humans? Is that even possible at this point? How are they so unbelievably butthurt over a hobby? I just don’t understand. I just don’t understand.

vbillings
7 years ago

What’s really disturbing is if it’s not parody, it just drives home how detached from reality they are. Everything is a game. It’s about raids and taking out bosses. I mean, I play games but I never think of the real world as a game (except when I contemplate painting my cat like Pikachu).

gilshalos
7 years ago

I think Vivian James should be rescued from that song as well.

Aerinea
Aerinea
7 years ago

Wow. The lack of self-awareness of these guys is staggering. And I’m pretty sure that Jonathan Coulton wouldn’t be all that supportive of their “cause.”

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
7 years ago

These guys who obsess over video games don’t seem like they understand them all that well.

They’re unable to comprehend Art – it’s why they think Anita Sarkeesian’s videos are “redfems subverting the industry” when, really, a person is pointing out fictional tropes that can be seen as sexist given their context.

It was particularly aggravating when fans of characters like Zelda and Peach acted personally insulted (nevermind characterization never came into her analysis) and were dumb enough assholes to claim that: 1) her views on the damsels in distress tropes reflected her views towards real people, and 2) she’s “totally wrong” about either being damsels in distress.

Obviously neither of them make sense, but what can one expect? They’re unable to analyze fiction on any intellectual level and almost entirely about how it made them personally feel. Anyone who actually appreciates Art in a cerebral way wouldn’t send you death and rape threats for coming up with a critique they disagree with – they’d simply explain why they disagree, like a decent human being.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
7 years ago

Augh! Portal is a feminist game! All the characters are women! GladOS is literally a rendition of Venus, suspended upside-down, and the story is about her ensnarement within an institution. Portal (and its sequel) is *thick* with feminist symbolism and thought. They picked probably the *least* sensible song to ape.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

I made it exactly five seconds into the video before I noped out. Terrible lyrics, tone deaf in more ways than one, and a mockery of an amazing game and ending song.

So glad my browser can’t handle the song-cloud embeds…

old anon
old anon
7 years ago

re:Still Alive parody
For the record, a member of Anonymous/Project Chanology [NotAnonymousGreenie] did a version first (w later approval from Valve) during the 2008 protests against Scientology: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSN1eHKRTOE

The fact Gamergaters, a cancer of the Internet, are co-opting Anonymous tactics and memes makes me want to SCREAM.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
7 years ago

I liked the line where they pretended to be insulted by people calling them cis men.

gelar
gelar
7 years ago

How are they so unbelievably butthurt over a hobby? I just don’t understand. I just don’t understand.

There’s the editor’s introduction to Zoe Quinn’s Cracked article that so beautifully sums it up:

“Gentlemen,” we said amid the stunned silence, “do you realize that if what they’re saying is true, then this is still the most pointless fucking bullshit anyone has ever forced us to read?”

tinyorc
7 years ago

vbillings:

What’s really disturbing is if it’s not parody, it just drives home how detached from reality they are. Everything is a game. It’s about raids and taking out bosses.

Earlier today, I saw a gator use the actual words “when we win at GG”. It was probably the most telling tweet I’ve seen so far.

Shredder
Shredder
7 years ago

Oh my god, SHREDS! 😀

filmrunner
7 years ago

This meme is 7 years old and every Portal meme was run into the ground within 12 months of the game’s release. Not only is this thing incomprehensible (and probably just preaching to the choir) but it’s a riff on a song that’s years past its prime in terms of popularity.

Delurking
Delurking
7 years ago

Re: sponsors
I think the Gators are trying to do to various gaming journalism sites what was done to Glenn Beck on Fox News. If the parent company finds it difficult to find anyone willing to advertise on their website (or during Beck’s program) it becomes uneconomic for those websites (or Beck) to exist (or remain on air). Basically, you use economics to shut down your opposition. They have had some limited success with Intel removing ads from some websites. It doesn’t seem to have gone much further, though.
http://edition.cnn.com/2014/10/03/tech/gaming-gadgets/intel-ad-gamasutra/

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

Thank god for a mute button. There’s something to be said about every single lyric in the damn song. They call themselves fakes, portray themselves as a group not morally equipped to handle the power they hold, and admit to doxxing just in the first verse.

And if they made a mistake about who the “you” referred to in the first verse, it still doesn’t make sense because they claim that “you” made a neat game and “you” made shit games. Plus they practically take glee in the doxx info with the line “So we’re GLAD we got spurned. Think of all the shit we learned ’bout the journos who are still alive.”

Fucking creepy, that juxtaposition of journos (who they think are corrupte) with death and with doxxing.

They seriously care more about aping the original song than making any sort of sense. They apparently can’t write lyrics that expand beyond one-liners, so the overall messages are completely scrambled or way too self-aware to be on purpose.

How could anyone listen to this and think it was a good idea?

strivingally
7 years ago

The thing is no company is going to fall for that shit again. The marketing people at Adobe and Intel got far more shit for seeming to cave to GG than they did from GG for the original “offences”. Marketing people in these big companies talk to one another about the industry and events within it (OMG COLLUSION!!~!~!~!) so they now know the tricks that are being used to make GG seem like a bigger demographic force than they actually are. A sad side effect of this fiasco is that companies are going to be much more skeptical of “consumer feedback” in the future.

A few links related to this:
Mozilla’s chairwoman says writing about GamerGate was “a mistake”
How Brands Should React To GamerGate: Don’t
Brand management after Operation Disrespectful Nod: A Brave New World

sunnysombrera
7 years ago

GladOS is literally a rendition of Venus, suspended upside-down, and the story is about her ensnarement within an institution.

For real. They picked a theme song from a character that was visually designed to represent a bound and gagged, upside down woman. Sums up their movement better than they thought.

mythago
7 years ago

@Scildfreja, the amazing thing is that ‘SJW’ themes and approaches are ALREADY part and parcel of games – even the AAA blockbuster titles they jizz over – and they don’t get it. Assassin’s Creed IV, for example, where Our Pale Male Hero treats an escape black slave as a respected equal, has discussions about white privilege, respects and teams up with women pirates without treating them as potential romances or feeling friendzoned, and where the bad guys are slavers. Or Saints Row IV, a loud cars loud showoff boobs and bullets game that lets you make your character as a fat black lesbian and the game is exactly the same Or heck, every BioWare game. (Does this mean these games are free of problems? Of course not; and the industry has a long way to go – but look at where the trend is going.) Games like the new Duke Nukem which explicitly catered to the type of guys who want an unapologetic phallocentricityfest? Not so good on the sales.

Meanwhile, GGers are bleating because they’re afraid someone will get gay radfem cooties all over their latest boring Call of Duty knockoff. They’ve already lost. They just don’t want to admit it, because they can’t grasp that real life does not have Undo or Reset to Saved Game options.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

Holy jesus monkey on moonbounce shoes on a trampoline on mars.

They have something like 75 other parody songs in the works. You can see a list of them from the “song info doc” in the 8chan thread. Each one has links to the lyrics, and every single one I clicked on was awful.

There was a parody of Mulan’s “Reflections” that actually included the line “I will sniff your farts.”

Say what you want about gamergate, but they can fucking mobilize to create a whole mountain of excrement in record time.

davidknewton
davidknewton
7 years ago

On top of the, er, ‘creativity’ of twisting a couple of lines from a song that was overplayed virtually before it was even released, sung from the perspective of an amoral villain, I just want to voice my opinion that calling games “vidya” is the stupidest thing ever.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Actually that’s a good point. How well do the games that cater specifically to the insecure wannabe bro’s with an epic sense of entitlement sell? Duke Nukem is one and apparently that didn’t exactly light up the sales charts. What about other games aimed at a similar demographic? And how do those games sell in comparison to games that were specifically targeted at an audience that wants strong female and POC characters, interesting storylines, and so on?

Companies want to make money, so if there’s more profit to be made from catering to the evil SJW crowd than there is to be made catering to the angry Fedorakin, well, there’s your answer in terms of how likely gamergate is to get anywhere.

vbillings
7 years ago

Tinyorc, yeah, the tweet I saw about Anita Sarkeesian being in her “monster form” was what made the epiphany for me. Like, guys, she’s not Ganon. She’s a human being. That’s the most upsetting part for me. I love games, and these people are making them terrifying.

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