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The Fire Will Never Stop Burning: A Dramatic Reading of an 8chan Comment About Anita Sarkeesian

jEdsENG

 

A We Hunted the Mammoth reader was inspired by this post yesterday to do a dramatic reading of one of the more melodramatic 8chan posts from my list of 22. I’ve pasted the original screenshot of the post below if you would like to read along.

Enjoy!

 

ggg18howltweet

RAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!11!!!

 

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Shaun DarthBatman Day
6 years ago

*dies*

Roy Ratbait
Roy Ratbait
6 years ago

Actually, we didn’t start the fire. It was always burning since the world’s been turning.

Jody
Jody
6 years ago

I can’t get over the fact that these guys laugh at Tumblr for being overdramatic.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago

Oh look, it’s Tim Curry!

Oh, right.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!

FifthInterval
6 years ago

Every time I hear one of these yahoos use the term “the truth”, I always think, “so, how about you sending me the link to Grayson’s Kotaku review of Depression Quest?”.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

That was awesome.

I lost it at “tweet those hashtags.” Yeah! Tweet those hashtags! Spread the fire, er, I mean, truth! Yeah!

Binjabreel
6 years ago

I just hope that someday everyone who writes movie villain inspired screeds on the internet grows up, rereads their melodramatic garbage, and goes into catatonic shock from the shame.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago

@Binjabreel:

Or maybe there will be a more technical solution.

Mia Jessica
Mia Jessica
6 years ago

I hear you can get a cream for all that burning.

lkeke35
6 years ago

Falconer: is that a little bal of fire .screaming because it’s on fire!?

HAAAAA!

Falconer
6 years ago

@lkeke35: Yeah, it’s an emoticon on fire and jumping around and waving its tiny little arms.

Which is of course what everyone is doing in the face of that gloriously devastating rant up there. Oh wow. That burns. I don’t know how we’re going to recover from that.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago


“It’s really about ethics in games journalism!”

“No, it really isn’t. Gamergate was founded on harassing Zoe Quinn…”

“It’s not about her anym…”

“And you STILL harass women every chance you get, most of which have no involvement in the real problems with the games industry.”

“Hey, you have no proof that…”

“Gamergate is basically a big movement of misogynists and bullies who don’t want to have their worldview challenged, so you resort to terrorism and mask it as a conversation about eth…”

“aaaAAWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!”

“The hell was that?”

“… that was wolf howl.”

“Why are you howling?”

“… it shows i won’t back down.”

“…”

“It sounded better on paper.”

sunnysombrera
6 years ago

Kirbywarp: that was comedy gold. Have all the +1s!

Pocket Nerd
6 years ago

I get the feeling the average gamergrot pictures himself saying all this, framed in a low-angle shot, with the wind blowing in his hair.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

If you have a burning that won’t stop, call your doctor.

diana6815
6 years ago

I have no words

(devolves into gales of laughter)

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago
Michelle C Young
6 years ago

I love the honk at the end. So funny!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

The awesomeness suddenly disappears when he said “send those emails, tweet those hashtags” but give that guy points for the awesome reading.

I read about wolves they actually don’t make good guards since they get pretty scared. So I would get a dog instead, maybe a German Shepard.

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

pallygirl: Pretty hard to top the Muppet Show version of that song (with Candice Bergen):

zennurse
zennurse
6 years ago

Can you even picture what their Halloween will be like?

What the hell would Aurini dress up as that isn’t more creepy than he is?

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

Trivia note: “Put Another Log…” was written by the great Shel Silverstein.

zennurse: I see Aurini as the sort of guy who hands out some kind of MRA equivalent of Jack Chick tracts to the kids.

katz
6 years ago

Ah, Shel Silverstein. That was my childhood, right there.

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

Yeah, though he has some amazing and very NOT kid-friendly stuff too (like The Ballad of Billy Markham, or The Great Smoke-Off).

booburry
6 years ago

@Nequam That is a hilarious/scary thought. I’m now super curious if any of the MRAs actually have made tracts to hand out or just leave them around grocery stores like evangelicals or anti-choicers do.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

So this is about Republican conspiracy/asswipery, not New Misogynist conspiracy shit, but i thought you’d all get a kick out of this:

http://i.imgur.com/b85Csed.png

It is from my facebook feed. It is connected somehow to Clint Didier, who is a Teaparty extremist, and one of two Republicans on the ballot to represent me to congress (at least the state gov is deep blue, but still).

Actually, I do pledge to vote: I pledge to vote against Didier, and as blue as possible.

teiresias
teiresias
6 years ago

Nequam:

Beware of being the neckbeard when there’s nothing left to shave.

grumpyoldnurse
6 years ago

@ wordsp1nner – that’s really funny, because my Christian Biblical-literalist brother and his family get really freaked out when someone says ‘Bless you’ when someone sneezes for some obscure ‘we’re really doing the Lord’s will not like the rest of you heathens’ reason that I don’t grok. They also don’t celebrate birthdays, Christmas, New Year’s, Thanksgiving, or Halloween because PAGANS!!!!11!!!1

Because I’m an ass, I always say ‘Bless you’ when one of them sneezes.

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

@boobury: I suspect it’d take more effort than they’re willing to put in. And given what their infographics and such look like, it’d make a Chick tract look like Watchmen.

Larry Felton Johnson (@larryfeltonj)

I’ll bet that quote would be even more impressive done in an Elmer Fudd voice. “The fiwah wiw neva stop buwning”

katz
6 years ago

wordsp1nner: I looked at that and thought it was a healthcare thing at first.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

@katz,

The irony there is that the candidate associated with that… thing is promoting his promise to repeal Obamacare. Yeah.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

Also OT, but Shaenon Garrity, brilliant artist and Mammotheer, is doing and episode-by-episode illustrated recap of the X-Files. One of them involves the phrase “Death Neg.”

http://www.shaenon.com/monsteroftheweek/2012/09/14/09142012/

And now I need to go watch the X-files.

Pocket Nerd
6 years ago

Thus Spake Zarawordsp1nner:

http://www.shaenon.com/monsteroftheweek/2012/09/14/09142012/

This is absolutely the best thing of any kind ever. Thanks!

Falconer
6 years ago

@wordspinner: Thanks for that link. Oh man, early season X-Files. Wow.

Also, props for using slang I first heard about in For Better or For Worse:

She’s roadside.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago
weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

wordsp1nner,

What is that meme even supposed to mean? Is it saying evil atheist Muslim Democrats will no longer allow people to say “bless you” because war on Christmas?

Why then are they showing a picture of a girl who ostensibly just sneezed? She’s not the one who should be saying “bless you.”

Also, it’s my understanding that the saying predates Christianity. It used to be that people were afraid your soul left your body when you sneezed and was left vulnerable to possession by evil spirits so they would say something to ward them off. My high school Latin teacher told us that. She would say “abesit omen” (not sure I spelled that correctly) whenever someone sneezed in class. Why people are still so attached to saying “bless you” when someone sneezes is beyond me. It’s not like anyone really believes sneezing puts you in danger of possession anymore.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

I think the ad is trying to say that if the EBIL SECULAR DEMONCRAPS run the country, schoolchildren will not be allowed to acknowledge God in school, even to say the rote post-sneeze ritual even third-generation secularists like my Mom use.

Which, now that I think about it, the ad is weird because if she’s sneezing, she should be saying “Excuse me.” Or “‘scuzeme”.

Personally, I think it is just a weird social ritual everyone does because they’ve always done it. As weird social rituals go, it is pretty harmless and makes a social occasion out of bodily functions.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I like it when people say “bless you” after a belch or fart instead of or in addition to after a sneeze.

But yeah, I’m quite far left politically and an atheist and secularist and even I have no desire to see “bless you” banned. That’s just silly.

Pocket Nerd
6 years ago

It’s irrational tribalist fearmongering. The political campaigns pushing that particular flavor of manure know it’s bollocks; the jury’s out on whether the target audience is credulous enough to believe it, or whether they just pretend to believe it because feeling hard done by is the sweetest of drugs.

CJ
CJ
6 years ago

I thought these guys had their identity too heavily tied up in video games. Now I know they think they’re actually in one.

Unimaginative
6 years ago

I say “bless you” when people give me coffee. They seem to find that a little strange, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Jody
Jody
6 years ago

Ahahahaha! I am dying laughing. Haha. I love how women’s issues are all just people whining about nothing but they’re so very concerned if someone gives a good or bad review of a video game and it’s soooo epically important. Life or death of the new GTA gets 4 or 5 stars. Give me a break.

katz
6 years ago

So, um… apparently gamergate made themselves a Nazi mascot? https://t.co/JMFxrsbHKi

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Of course she’s a Nazi but also a Japanese schoolgirl (as explained in the comments). 4chan’s eternal struggle not to be mocked as completely fucking ridiculous by the rest of the internet is real.

You’re losing, guys.

Misha
Misha
6 years ago

And they’re already swapping ideas of porn scenarios for her and Vivian James. Colour me unsurprised. Gamergate, you suck.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

“Porn that we made ourselves of these two presumably underage girls that we created to fap to totally represents how the public should see us.”

Yeah, actually, it pretty much does.

Skye
Skye
6 years ago

But they’re totally for equality, guize. No misogyny here. /ahem

Skye
Skye
6 years ago

No racism either.

I started reading the comments on Katz’s link. Don’t read the comments. Was there a vomit fountain around here? I need it.