A We Hunted the Mammoth reader was inspired by this post yesterday to do a dramatic reading of one of the more melodramatic 8chan posts from my list of 22. I’ve pasted the original screenshot of the post below if you would like to read along.
Enjoy!
RAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!11!!!
*dies*
Actually, we didn’t start the fire. It was always burning since the world’s been turning.
I can’t get over the fact that these guys laugh at Tumblr for being overdramatic.
Oh look, it’s Tim Curry!
…
Oh, right.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!
Every time I hear one of these yahoos use the term “the truth”, I always think, “so, how about you sending me the link to Grayson’s Kotaku review of Depression Quest?”.
That was awesome.
I lost it at “tweet those hashtags.” Yeah! Tweet those hashtags! Spread the fire, er, I mean, truth! Yeah!
I just hope that someday everyone who writes movie villain inspired screeds on the internet grows up, rereads their melodramatic garbage, and goes into catatonic shock from the shame.
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/030/9/7/Fire_Emoticon_Avatar_by_SolarSolve.gif
@Binjabreel:
Or maybe there will be a more technical solution.
I hear you can get a cream for all that burning.
Falconer: is that a little bal of fire .screaming because it’s on fire!?
HAAAAA!
@lkeke35: Yeah, it’s an emoticon on fire and jumping around and waving its tiny little arms.
Which is of course what everyone is doing in the face of that gloriously devastating rant up there. Oh wow. That burns. I don’t know how we’re going to recover from that.
“It’s really about ethics in games journalism!”
“No, it really isn’t. Gamergate was founded on harassing Zoe Quinn…”
“It’s not about her anym…”
“And you STILL harass women every chance you get, most of which have no involvement in the real problems with the games industry.”
“Hey, you have no proof that…”
“Gamergate is basically a big movement of misogynists and bullies who don’t want to have their worldview challenged, so you resort to terrorism and mask it as a conversation about eth…”
“aaaAAWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!”
“The hell was that?”
“… that was wolf howl.”
“Why are you howling?”
“… it shows i won’t back down.”
“…”
“It sounded better on paper.”
Kirbywarp: that was comedy gold. Have all the +1s!
I get the feeling the average gamergrot pictures himself saying all this, framed in a low-angle shot, with the wind blowing in his hair.
If you have a burning that won’t stop, call your doctor.
I have no words
(devolves into gales of laughter)
http://youtu.be/3HrQ4YQD8UY
I love the honk at the end. So funny!
The awesomeness suddenly disappears when he said “send those emails, tweet those hashtags” but give that guy points for the awesome reading.
I read about wolves they actually don’t make good guards since they get pretty scared. So I would get a dog instead, maybe a German Shepard.
pallygirl: Pretty hard to top the Muppet Show version of that song (with Candice Bergen):
Can you even picture what their Halloween will be like?
What the hell would Aurini dress up as that isn’t more creepy than he is?
Trivia note: “Put Another Log…” was written by the great Shel Silverstein.
zennurse: I see Aurini as the sort of guy who hands out some kind of MRA equivalent of Jack Chick tracts to the kids.
Ah, Shel Silverstein. That was my childhood, right there.
Yeah, though he has some amazing and very NOT kid-friendly stuff too (like The Ballad of Billy Markham, or The Great Smoke-Off).