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The Top 22 Most Ridiculous Things Said by 8channers About Anita Sarkeesian's Appearance on the Colbert Report

#GamerGate's worst nightmare come true
#GamerGate’s worst nightmare come true

Last night, as you may have heard, the woman known to #GamerGaters as “Literally Who 2” pulled off a bit of a media coup, appearing on The Colbert Report for a brief interview by the sympathetic Colbert, who gently satirized some of the sillier “arguments” of the Gaters with a series of deliberatly obtuse questions. You know, his regular schtick.

When Anita Sarkeesian posted the picture above (well, a non-blurry version of it) to Twitter yesterday evening, thus alerting the world to her upcoming appearance on Colbert’s show, it set off a wave of panic and despair on 8chan’s /gg/ board, one of the central organizing hubs of the GamerGate “movement.”

Some declared it a disaster, the end of GamerGate, while others tried to rally the troops with melodramatic speeches. Still others set forth bizarre conspiracy theories about the evil SJWs who allegedly control the media.

There was so much amazing stuff there that I knew I had to start screencapping like mad.

And so, without further ado, here are the Top 22 Most Ridiculous Things Said on 8Chan About Anita Sarkeesian’s Appearance on the Colbert Report.

1) One anon advised the 8chan army on how to turn this truckload of lemons into lemonade:

ggg1

2) This fella was a little less optimistic. Somehow I’m guessing a lot of his conversations involve bizarrely detailed exegeses of the sinister plots of Cultural Marxism.

ggg2paranoia

3) This fellow suggested that 8chan might be able to lobby Congress for some legislation that would put an end to the SJW “gang.”

ggg5gang

 4) There were a lot of posts like this. GamerGaters just can’t help talking like cartoon supervillains.

ggg8firestarts

5) This guy urgently warned fellow 8channers not to even discuss the highly charged issue of misogyny, ending his little speech with a bizarre kicker not only denying that 8channers had anything to do with the threats and doxxing that have driven Sarkeesian from her home, but flatly denied that the threats and doxxing even happened at all.

ggg9proveotherwise

6) This fella lamented Colbert’s terrible betrayal, and the effect this would have on his late-night television viewing.

ggg12neverfindfunnyagain

7) And this charming post reminded us one of the main reasons why GamerGate increasingly appeals only to trolls and assholes. (Note to 8channers: It’s the picture, derived from an anti-Semitic caricature, that’s the real problem here.)

ggg13anitajew

8) This fella reminded his comrades that media figures like Colbert “never really cared sincerely about vidya [games]” anyway.

ggg14nevercaredvidya

9) And we’re back to the rising fire.

ggg17wrapworldfire

 10) More fire, accompanied this time by the howling wolves of … Twitter.

ggg18howltweet

11) Winston Churchill famously proclaimed that brave British soldiers “shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” This GamerGate warrior will do the same, only with email and Twitter.

ggg19fightwtwitter

12) A lot of 8channers think that Sarkeesian is little more than the brainless puppet of Feminist Frequency co-writer/producer Jonathan McIntosh.

ggg20anitapuppet

13) This melodramatic fella declared in despair that Sarkeesian had won, “sitting in the lap of a group more powerful, tenacious, driven and sinister than you could ever hope to be.”

ggg23oneshot

Huh. I thought they were supposed to be on the side of Truth and Light. Why would GamerGaters hope to be sinister. Could it be that maybe they are the baddies after all?

14) And speaking of GamerGaters monologuing like supervillains …

ggg24ragesuns

15) This fella offered his comrades a “waifu to encourage you along.”

Wait, what?

ggg27chosenundeadwaifu

16) This fella might be spending just a little too much time with the vidya games.

ggg28weareplayerstheyrnpc

17) This commenter thought that the fact that Sarkeesian appeared in public showed that she wasn’t really scared by all the threats she’s gotten. CHECKMATE, SARKEESIAN!

ggg31fearherlife

18) More conspiratorial nonsense about Colbert and his alleged ideological puppetmasters.

ggg32colbertkeptman

19) THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!!

ggg33noyoumove

20) Uh, dude, “some newspaper” in this case was the New York Fucking Times, and it was more than a paragraph.

ggg40somenewspaper

21) This fella hoped that this bitter loss would help to harden the resolve of “weak” GamerGaters.

ggg42galvanizes

22) And this guy brought a report from the far reaches of Upside Down Backwards Land.

ggg37alreadywon

GamerGaters, you are officially ridiculous.

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Kiva
Kiva
10 years ago

Hello, folks. I generally try to avoid commenting on the internet because of the whole People Are Terrible thing, but I thought I’d talk a little about Anita laughing off Colbert’s demand for actual videogame names. A couple weeks ago (maybe only a week?), Anita appeared on Democracy Now, one of my favorite shows, and was discussing her work and the threat at the Utah campus that forced her to cancel a talk. Amy Goodman played a clip from her Women As Background Decoration pt 2 video, specifically a clip from Dragon Age 2.

And Anita, who soundly impressed me in that moment, spoke up that she didn’t feel like the problem specifically was Dragon Age 2, but the trope itself.

This is one of the things that I appreciate so much about Feminist Frequency’s critiques: They aren’t condemnations of a game but are explorations instead. Giving Colbert a list of games to avoid isn’t the conversation she’s trying to have, because the prevalence of these tropes would make the list unwieldy and ever-growing. Instead, by focusing on these negative patterns, and also providing positive examples (who would have thought that the same video Goodman showed a clip from would also have a love-letter to the wonderful Papo and Yo, for instance.) i think the Tropes vs. Women series is really a wonderful primer for people to learn how to look at things through a feminist lens.

And by not focusing on creating a list of games to avoid but rather focusing on teaching people who to recognize the trope itself, I think she’s able to accomplish more. So it didn’t really seem like a misstep to me and I don’t know why GGer’s would be so delighted by it. To me it actually felt like it disproved the idea that Anita attacks games with her videos. The videos have never been about attacking games, or at least I’ve never gotten that out of them.

So, really, I’d say that was a great response to a very funny man. Also: Anita Sarkeesian got to go on the Colbert Report before it ended. I am so jelly right now.

Michael Lindsay
10 years ago

@ Kiva nuance is pretty much lost on ‘Gators, I remember when they were all up in arms about the Bayonetta 2 review on Polygon. Yeah, the interviewer did say that they found the depiction of Bayonetta sexist but they also said it was an enjoyable game and gave it a high score. Because they didn’t give it a perfect score the ‘Gators went nuts. Their worldview is completely black and white, either you agree with them 100% or you are eevulz.

Kiva
Kiva
10 years ago

Oh, for totes. I remember Carolyn Petit’s 9/10 seven minute review that had a minute-and-a-half of comment on the poor representation of women in GTAV and the subsequent campaign to get her fired and all the totally disgusting transphobia. Just the previous version of the same assholes. I just really appreciate that despite the fact that everyone says that she’s attacking games, Anita still hasn’t actually attacked any games. She’s used scenes from games to illustrate her point about the different tropes she discusses.

Litschi
Litschi
10 years ago

Do these guys even realize, that Anita would probably never got such a huge media attention, if it wasn’t for them pushing the whole issue, by fighting it in a very… uhm… primitve way?

Charles Montgomery Burns
Charles Montgomery Burns
10 years ago

Mr. Burns gives a good explanation why GamerGaters like being the villain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRrAELby068

JohnH
10 years ago

@Litschi:
Doubtful. Based on item #1 in the OP, at least some of them seem to think the Streisand Effect will work in their favor, not realizing they’re already trilby-deep in it. I chalk it up to a total lack of self awareness bred by a lifetime of social privileges.

bluecatbabe
bluecatbabe
10 years ago

“all dysentery against her name will be eradicated” eh?

I’m in favour of eradicating dysentery, as it’s a major killer of 0 – 5 year olds in many countries, but I’m not really sure you can have dysentery against a name. (Against a wall, maybe – don’t ask how I know.)

As to what exactly uncontrollable flying vomit and excrement have to do with GamerGate… well, res ipsa loquitur.

Thaag
Thaag
10 years ago

“This fella reminded his comrades that media figures like Colbert “never really cared sincerely about vidya [games]” anyway.”

o.O

Dudebro is suffering a severe anencephalic shock to a fact allergy.

heptaflagellum
heptaflagellum
10 years ago

I wonder if they realize that the “fire rises” quote they keep chanting is from Bane’s terrorist cult from the Batman movie.

cerberustheasexual
cerberustheasexual
10 years ago

Maybe I’ve spent too long in the RPG genre over the years, but I can’t help but see the PC/NPC thing as a rather apt metaphor, not only for the literal dehumanization and removal of agency of women that is their entire point (I mean, it’s pretty hard to ignore that this whole thing is about trying to drive women and “others” out of gaming entirely because they see it as a source of affirmation so they can succeed in toxic masculinity), but for their tactics as well. Cause in RPGs, it’s only ever the defenseless townspeople and quest givers who are referred to as NPCs. The baddies trying to kill you are the monsters or the bad guys, so when people talk about NPCs, they sometimes are talking about companions, but usually talking about people who pose no threat in the game’s world (unless they become secret bosses later).

So yeah, them being a bunch of PCs going about slaughtering NPCs who have no coding to attack them until they are attacked and who usually have no real power to resist on any important level is a rather apt metaphor for this whole campaign. And just like the most whiny versions of the guys who go about slaughtering all the townspeople for fun, they get mad when the town guards go after them, especially when it turns out the guards win.

I think it also speaks to their confusion at their targets critiquing their attacks. In their minds, the NPCs are supposed to take it and make a hilarious death animation and then go away forever or at least until they leave the town and instead they’re not only refusing to go away, but they are reacting to their abuse like actual human beings and that’s breaking the script and therefore the game. In their minds, it’d be like if the game chided you for killing the NPCs and then when you restarted or started a new game, all the NPCs remembered and refused to sell you anything or help you in any way.

cerberustheasexual
cerberustheasexual
10 years ago

Which is all a long-winded way for me to say that Bob Damn do these people need to start living in the real world for once in their lives. I mean, it’s like these dedicated women-haters have devoted their lives to embodying all the horrible stereotypes of gamers by ignorant people. What, you think we’re all violent, deluded, bitter misogynists who can’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy and that we’re only too eager to carry over violence into the real world? Well, okay then, let’s get on that boys!

And it’s made me deeply embarrassed to be a person who enjoys this stupid bloody hobby.

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

@cerberustheasexual:

In their minds, it’d be like if the game chided you for killing the NPCs and then when you restarted or started a new game, all the NPCs remembered and refused to sell you anything or help you in any way.

This does happen in RPGs like the Elder Scrolls series (Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim, etc).

robynrobotron
10 years ago

Hi there! Long time reader, first time caller. I just watched the interview, but before that, I accidentally clicked on a thunderf00t video about the interview (how sad it is that his video is the first that comes up). I stopped it, but not before he called Colbert “King of the misogynists”. If he’s so smart, how come he doesn’t understand satire? 😀

Shaun DarthBatman Day
10 years ago

I wonder why they haven’t doxxed Stephen Colbert, yet. Don’t they know that ignoring men is MISANDRY?

Lysza K
Lysza K
10 years ago

@heptaflagellum

Yes, they realise, bane-quoting is a 4chan culture joke, as are the over the top messages or the use of the antisemitic cartoon (which is sometimes used seriously on /pol/ though), it’s mostly ironic “grandeur” that you’ll find in all boards of 4chan.

Skye
Skye
10 years ago

This may cause me to rethink my opinion of the over-the-top speeches made by villains in cheesy movies; the ones so bad your suspension of disbelief is ruined for the entire film. If there are real people who talk/write/think in such melodramatic ways as the above, maybe those villains weren’t as overwrought as I supposed. Is it time for Bruce Campbell to appear?

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
10 years ago

Man I think a game with some kind of resurrection or karmic system would be awesome, especially on a game that required repeat playthroughs, so if you played like a jackass the next time nobody would like you or random bad shit happens. I’d play the shit outta that.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

I’m weak on pop culture. What was that overblown ‘no, you move’ reference? It reminded me of the Dr. Seuss story about the North Facing and South Facing whatsits, who both refuse to move and remain rooted in place for the rest of their lives.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Is it time for Bruce Campbell to appear?

Gamergaters could never pull anything like this off!

msplasmatic
10 years ago

I don’t even know what the fuck I just read.

The melodrama and hyperbole over a woman criticising some well worn tropes is beyond pathetic. It’s like it’s literally the worst thing that has ever happened to them. Yeesus help them if they ever develop any actual problems.

BluLanturn
BluLanturn
10 years ago

@Robert It’s a reference to a Captain America comic I think during the Civil War event. He talks about how doing the right thing means sometimes standing firm and when someone asks you to move you say “No, you move.” Of course others, including other channers, have pointed out being an inflexible asshole doesn’t always mean you’re right, just an inflexible asshole.

vaiyt
10 years ago

at least some of them seem to think the Streisand Effect will work in their favor

Not realizing that they invoked the Streisand Effect themselves on their enemies, especially Anita.

It’s a reference to a Captain America comic I think during the Civil War event. He talks about how doing the right thing means sometimes standing firm and when someone asks you to move you say “No, you move.”

Anyone remembers how the comic ended? That’s right, Captain America moved.

Kiva
Kiva
10 years ago

@vaiyt Uh, didn’t he (SPOILER) die in Civil War? I mean, as much as Marvel characters ever do.

thebewilderness
10 years ago

“We shall not be moved”

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Thanks, all. The idea that these wastes of carbon are identify themselves with Cap is almost offensive. Although they DO realize that everyone in the world (or Web) is telling them that they are behaving like recalcitrant infants.

“No, you move.” Hah. Again, I say, hah.