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The Top 22 Most Ridiculous Things Said by 8channers About Anita Sarkeesian's Appearance on the Colbert Report

#GamerGate's worst nightmare come true
#GamerGate’s worst nightmare come true

Last night, as you may have heard, the woman known to #GamerGaters as “Literally Who 2” pulled off a bit of a media coup, appearing on The Colbert Report for a brief interview by the sympathetic Colbert, who gently satirized some of the sillier “arguments” of the Gaters with a series of deliberatly obtuse questions. You know, his regular schtick.

When Anita Sarkeesian posted the picture above (well, a non-blurry version of it) to Twitter yesterday evening, thus alerting the world to her upcoming appearance on Colbert’s show, it set off a wave of panic and despair on 8chan’s /gg/ board, one of the central organizing hubs of the GamerGate “movement.”

Some declared it a disaster, the end of GamerGate, while others tried to rally the troops with melodramatic speeches. Still others set forth bizarre conspiracy theories about the evil SJWs who allegedly control the media.

There was so much amazing stuff there that I knew I had to start screencapping like mad.

And so, without further ado, here are the Top 22 Most Ridiculous Things Said on 8Chan About Anita Sarkeesian’s Appearance on the Colbert Report.

1) One anon advised the 8chan army on how to turn this truckload of lemons into lemonade:

ggg1

2) This fella was a little less optimistic. Somehow I’m guessing a lot of his conversations involve bizarrely detailed exegeses of the sinister plots of Cultural Marxism.

ggg2paranoia

3) This fellow suggested that 8chan might be able to lobby Congress for some legislation that would put an end to the SJW “gang.”

ggg5gang

 4) There were a lot of posts like this. GamerGaters just can’t help talking like cartoon supervillains.

ggg8firestarts

5) This guy urgently warned fellow 8channers not to even discuss the highly charged issue of misogyny, ending his little speech with a bizarre kicker not only denying that 8channers had anything to do with the threats and doxxing that have driven Sarkeesian from her home, but flatly denied that the threats and doxxing even happened at all.

ggg9proveotherwise

6) This fella lamented Colbert’s terrible betrayal, and the effect this would have on his late-night television viewing.

ggg12neverfindfunnyagain

7) And this charming post reminded us one of the main reasons why GamerGate increasingly appeals only to trolls and assholes. (Note to 8channers: It’s the picture, derived from an anti-Semitic caricature, that’s the real problem here.)

ggg13anitajew

8) This fella reminded his comrades that media figures like Colbert “never really cared sincerely about vidya [games]” anyway.

ggg14nevercaredvidya

9) And we’re back to the rising fire.

ggg17wrapworldfire

 10) More fire, accompanied this time by the howling wolves of … Twitter.

ggg18howltweet

11) Winston Churchill famously proclaimed that brave British soldiers “shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” This GamerGate warrior will do the same, only with email and Twitter.

ggg19fightwtwitter

12) A lot of 8channers think that Sarkeesian is little more than the brainless puppet of Feminist Frequency co-writer/producer Jonathan McIntosh.

ggg20anitapuppet

13) This melodramatic fella declared in despair that Sarkeesian had won, “sitting in the lap of a group more powerful, tenacious, driven and sinister than you could ever hope to be.”

ggg23oneshot

Huh. I thought they were supposed to be on the side of Truth and Light. Why would GamerGaters hope to be sinister. Could it be that maybe they are the baddies after all?

14) And speaking of GamerGaters monologuing like supervillains …

ggg24ragesuns

15) This fella offered his comrades a “waifu to encourage you along.”

Wait, what?

ggg27chosenundeadwaifu

16) This fella might be spending just a little too much time with the vidya games.

ggg28weareplayerstheyrnpc

17) This commenter thought that the fact that Sarkeesian appeared in public showed that she wasn’t really scared by all the threats she’s gotten. CHECKMATE, SARKEESIAN!

ggg31fearherlife

18) More conspiratorial nonsense about Colbert and his alleged ideological puppetmasters.

ggg32colbertkeptman

19) THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!!

ggg33noyoumove

20) Uh, dude, “some newspaper” in this case was the New York Fucking Times, and it was more than a paragraph.

ggg40somenewspaper

21) This fella hoped that this bitter loss would help to harden the resolve of “weak” GamerGaters.

ggg42galvanizes

22) And this guy brought a report from the far reaches of Upside Down Backwards Land.

ggg37alreadywon

GamerGaters, you are officially ridiculous.

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FifthInterval
7 years ago

Colbert’s demand for “three” games which are male power fantasies is funny precisely because he’s asking for such a tiny number out of an answer which could include hundreds. The fact that the GGers are making any hay out of Sarkeesian’s non-answer only demonstrates that satire is too complicated a concept for them to grasp.

brooked
7 years ago

I completely get why she didn’t list three games. She is always bending over backwards to make it clear that she isn’t denouncing individual sexist games, hence putting the word trope in the title of her video series. Singling out a few franchises would suggest that there are a few isolated problematic games and take away the focus from the bigger picture.

brooked
7 years ago

And FifthInterval is right about how Colbert’s humor sails way over the head of GGers but that’s about as surprising as the sun rising.

brooked
7 years ago

@Social Justice Ranger

women deserve in the kitchen

All your base are deserve to us

banned@4chan.org
banned@4chan.org
7 years ago

It’s not that, some of them seem to think she literally can’t, despite what must be hundreds of hours of research now. Refer to #12 in Futrelle’s list above, plus the older conspiracy theory about her not being a “real” gamer.

zennurse
zennurse
7 years ago

Found a great tweet from McIntosh (sorry still can’t format)

“These GGers are like little children who’ve wandered into an adult conversation they don’t understand & so are kicking everyone in the shins”

I didn’t know about him until today, glad I do now.

amandajane5
amandajane5
7 years ago

This has always seemed like the weirdest weird thing to me. I’m not a huge gamer, but I’m a solid one with a long, long history of playing games. I still think my funniest job interview story was from when I was hired to do QA for EA – I went in to interview and my boss said “Wait, you have experience?! And you’re a girl?! AND you have EXPERIENCE?! You know you’re so hired, right?!” All of my co-workers, including the one other woman, were delighted to have me.

But how could I possibly know anything about gaming, because ladyparts, amirite?

Inez Milholland
Inez Milholland
7 years ago

Brief summary: unintelligible, contradictory, rage-y, and clichéd. You know how there are times when people get so angry, they kinda lose the ability to speak, and so they turn into jittery, tic-y, mute balls of red faced rage? That’s what this reminded me of. Also, crying male toddlers.

It’s also kind of cute (and by cute I mean deeply disturbing) that these guys actually believe Stephen is right wing, and not a brilliant and incredibly scathing parody of a right winger. I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell these nutters, I’m sure they’ll buy it.

freemage
7 years ago

zennurse: For formatting, use the arrow brackets (located in the shift position over the comma and period on most keyboards) around the instruction you’re giving. Before the quote, you put “blockquote” in the brackets; after the quote, put “/blockquote” in brackets.

So, to blockquote the above paragraph, you would cut-and-paste the paragraph in, then adjust it like so, but use the arrow brackets instead of the curly ones:

{blockquote}zennurse: For formatting, use the arrow brackets (located in the shift position over the comma and period on most keyboards). Before the quote, you put “blockquote” in the brackets; after the quote, put “/blockquote” in brackets. {/blockquote}

zennurse: For formatting, use the arrow brackets (located in the shift position over the comma and period on most keyboards). Before the quote, you put “blockquote” in the brackets; after the quote, put “/blockquote” in brackets.

*Crosses fingers that I haven’t messed this up*

pallygirl
pallygirl
7 years ago

@brooked, yeah my take on her not naming the three games was that the GGers would then:
– focus on those three games as the only problem games (because GGers shift the goalposts)
– argue that those games aren’t relevant anymore because people are now playing games X, Y, Z instead
– do angels dancing on the head of a pin arguments about how individual scenes in those three games are being misrepresented and how she’s “lying”

tl;dr there was no point in naming three games. The issue is wide-spread.

Lucy
Lucy
7 years ago

I love how they STILL think that throwing hate and vitriol at her will stop her. Yeah, guys, how did that work out for you the first time. Oh, you made her career? Huh. That’s a funny way to destroy somebody.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

I know it’s beside the point and that this is not a list of the most violent etc. examples of ‘gaters but the most ridiculous Still, this is funny.

I skimmed

looking really hard

He skimmed really hard. Then he sauntered at top speed. Later he will wander with purpose and a specific direction in mind.

Lee
Lee
7 years ago

Wow, reading those tweets was like reading something out of one of the Ultimate Warrior’s comic books. Just…no one gives speeches like that in real life, guys, not even the President.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

Oh Christ, there’s a screenshot on David’s Twitter where a #Git refers to Anita as “The Jewess.” But the Stormfront caricature is used totally out of context and is completely unrelated to anti-Semitism, you guize.

zennurse
zennurse
7 years ago

Freemage, thank you so much but I am stuck on a tablet where cut and paste don’t apply. I am expecting a laptop soon but until then I’m kinda screwed. :'(

I do want to mention again that the Boston Globe interviewed Brianna Wu posted today. She talks about how hard it is to hear from girls who are now concerned about going into game Dev. Its a good read.

leftwingfox
7 years ago

@brooked: Oh man, you wanted a Thunderf00t fail? Check out Pandagon:

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/10/gamergate-self-delusions-continue-to-be-hilarious/

Apparently Chunderhead was certain that Colbert would shred her.

freemage
7 years ago

This is my favoritest comment on this matter, and possibly forever (it was posted over on the Pharyngula thread on the topic):

kaboobie

30 October 2014 at 3:07 pm

This is one of those occasions when I sing “Schadenfreude!” to the tune of Handel’s Messiah.

I literally cannot get this (what’s the aural counterpart to ‘image’?) out of my mind….

Kaal Alexander Rosser
7 years ago

Reblogged this on Kaal Alexander Rosser.

A Hermit
7 years ago

OMG; in what may be the best unintentionally self revealing comment of all time a gamergater declares:

“I wouldn’t be surprised if all dysentery against her name will have been eradicated….”

I can’t stop laughing now…

contrapangloss
7 years ago

@Leftwingfox

They seriously thought Colbert was going to join them? Thats… hilarious. Wow. Dudes, you’re against about everything Colbert actually stands for.

He’s liberal.
He’s generally a feminist.
He taught his kid’s Catholic Sunday School class.
He mocks conservatives on TV all the time.

You really think he’s going to go along with harassing women? A liberal, feminist Catholic Sunday School teacher? Who does a show mocking conservatives…

I mean, some of those things wouldn’t rule it out, but the full list?

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

@contrapangloss

On top of Colbert being a liberal, don’t forget that he’s the guy who famously said “Reality has a well-known liberal bias.” That alone would have told them if they weren’t so wrapped in the bubble.

Macha
Macha
7 years ago

I skimmed looking really hard for all the violence, hate, and misogyny that gamergate is so famous for, couldn’t find it. Weird.

Not weird at all. People that believe violent, hateful and misogynic nonsense don’t tend to notice it as a bad thing.

Martin
Martin
7 years ago

She named more than 3 sexist games in one title. Grand Theft Auto. The title includes GTA 3, GTA: Vice City, GTA; San Andreas , GTA 4 and GTA5.

John Dark
John Dark
7 years ago

I don’t like how in the Colbert interview, they didn’t talk at all about ethics in video game journalism. They openly mocked it, even though it’s the main thing GGers are talking about. Just seemed disrespectful and one-sided.

vaiyt
7 years ago

Me watching dunderf00l’s meltdown:
http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/108172339/31321706

Jon H
Jon H
7 years ago

“I completely get why she didn’t list three games.”

She didn’t list them because the question was basically like asking “Name three porn flicks that show oral sex.”

temporalstorm
temporalstorm
7 years ago

Mock them all you want, but look at how efficient they are at generating talking points and strategy.

SebastiAn.
SebastiAn.
7 years ago

Oh my god, this is the funniest shit I’ve seen in a while. What a poetic bunch, huh? LOL!

tiko72
tiko72
7 years ago

@Arnold Maynard

I skimmed looking really hard for all the violence, hate, and misogyny that gamergate is so famous for, couldn’t find it. Weird.

Ok, you didn’t see that but you did see the overkill and the drama right?

You read those and saw adults acting like they’ve just found out how close the enemy is and they’re going to have to go over the top at dawn.Some will make it and be stronger for the next battle, others won’t but their loss won’t be in vain . Their loss in this case meaning someone making a video or writing a blog post critical of their battle tactics or worse ACTUAL GAMES.

Come on admit it. Whatever you could or couldn’t see in those examples you at least felt a little incy wincy bit embarrassed for the people who wrote them – right?

steampunked (@steampunked)

The more I read this stuff, the more it seems that this group has just…not had some of the experiences I thought everybody had, in general. Or at least that were universal. I’ve seen people die of terrible diseases, that I loved. I’ve been critically injured. I’ve seen pets die. I’ve experienced wonderful things, too, but I’ve seen horrific things. People get beaten up for being different, racial abuse, and so forth – I’ve seen friends suffer these things. I have a friend with terminal cancer.

Is…the WORST thing these people can imagine Colbert talking to someone who critiques video games?

Have they just not really experienced life in general, or…something? Or are they so used to expressing themselves in terms of over the top peculiar aggression that it’s just become banal?

FifthInterval
7 years ago

Jon H – exactly right. It’s like claiming that traffic isn’t dangerous and demanding on-the-spot proof that anyone’s ever been injured in a car accident. The utter obtuseness is the entire point (again, not like GGers understand even the basic premise of satire).

Lee
Lee
7 years ago

steampunked: Chances are, they haven’t. The demographic for this sort of thing skews very young…high-schoolers and college students. (And if they’re not that young, then they’ve led very sheltered lives.)

Hon. ACME Sales Rep. (@ACMESalesRep)

They see us as “warriors”. We see them as immature, bigoted chickenshits. I’ll take that trade.

booburry
7 years ago

These literally had me in tears. The one about SJW gangs and contacting you senator made my eyes water. What the fuck would you say to your senator? And what universe are you in where its the “SJW gangs” that are actually threatening people or ruining lives?!
Then I got to the over-the-top shit that someone would say to soldiers about to march into battle and commented to my partner “Holy shit, this sounds like something the Spartans would say (although not so cheesily) before going to die” and then….they went and did it. They actually brought up the Spartans and I nearly pissed my pants.
GGs why can’t you be like this all the time? Stop harassing women and threatening people and doxxing them! Just stay on 8chan or whatever and write the mos hilarious little screeds I have ever seen. If they weren’t such terrible people I would feel obligated to reward them for the laughs.

booburry
7 years ago

Arnold Maynard, this is a list of the “22 best things” they said about Anita going on Colbert. I don’t think David would add violence to a “best” of anything list. Perhaps try to “skim” or “search” the past month or even few weeks of entries and I am sure you will find what you are pretending to be looking for.
You’re welcome! 🙂

Hunter
Hunter
7 years ago

Ohmygod, the Spartan asshole doesn’t even realize it was the Spartans/Greeks that used the Phalanx. AHAHAHHAHAHAA

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

Oh, I’m so pleased they’re pissing their pants over Anita’s spot on Colbert. Colbert makes a point of mocking people like Limbaugh, by the by. He’d dig it here.
And gamerbros, thank you for providing all the material online any for show writer could possibly wish for. I’m thinking your tribe will become a “go to” during slow news days on shows like Colbert, Stewart and Oliver. Well, unless you call it quits.The posts David highlighted above — priceless. John Oliver’s people are probably reading them right now.
Who’s the asshole trumpeting, “She didn’t name three of the sexist games ever…” ? Dude, you’re sad, go home. News segments are timed, and she laughed because Colbert was in on the joke that a shit ton of games are sexist. Thank Colbert and Anita, duders. If you think long enough about what they did and said, you may stand a chance of pulling your heads out of your asses.

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

#6 Dude in the OP referred to his own “miserable life.” Yeah, Colbert really drove it home when he mocked a troll who posted to Anita, “No one will care when you die.” Colbert basically said, Who cries when hateful trolls die? Are they mourned? Hell no. No one likes them. They’re pathetic and bitter.

Anoia
Anoia
7 years ago

These cluless muppets are funny when they turn the hyperbole up to 11. I sort of feel a bit bad for them too though, I have no doubt the fear of ‘SJW’s are real to some of them. Sort of like being scared of the monster in the closet or under the bed, but still.

(I browsed 8chan last night as it was going on and I caught myself thinking: “Topkek”.
Staring into the void and all that, I guess.)

Inez Milholland
Inez Milholland
7 years ago

@leftwingfox

I read the article you posted as well as the Vox article it links to and color me shocked. They didn’t just take Stephen Colbert’s schtick literally. Apparently, they hadn’t been following Joss Whedon’s pre-Avengers career because they have no clue that this is the guy behind Buffy Summers, Faith Lehane, Willow Rosenberg, Kaylee Frye, Inara Serra, Zoe Alleyne Washburne, and River Tam. Or that his mother was feminist activist Lee Stearns, or that he sits on the Advisory Board of Equality Now.

Shiraz
Shiraz
7 years ago

Yeah, I browsed 8chan last night too. One dudebro wrote, “I was screaming so much at my TV I almost had to vomit.”

vaiyt
7 years ago

Ohmygod, the Spartan asshole doesn’t even realize it was the Spartans/Greeks that used the Phalanx. AHAHAHHAHAHAA

He also fails to realise that the Spartans lost the battle.

tiko72
tiko72
7 years ago

Hey you leaders of gamergate.Now that the battle is over* and you’ve counted your casualties.** Will you be handing out medals to your brave? Only I know of a really talented fella that made a super duper coin for avfm that can help you with the design. (I don’t know his details but I’m sure if you contact avfm they will tell you where to send the milk bottle tops to).

* That tiny bit where Anita Sarkeesian was on the Colbert Report is over.

**Counted all the adults crying and stamping their feet like a todler who’s had their blanky taken off them because it needs a wash.

Shaenon
7 years ago

Some of my favorite posts from Gamergaters on Twitter:

So I just saw Sarkeesian on #ColbertReport. Holy smokes. If triggering was a legitimate thing, I’m pretty sure I’m feeling it. #GamerGate

Seeing @anitasarkeesian on #ColbertReport tonight was truly one of my worst experiences watching television ever. #GamerGate

Before the show:

I bet all of #gamergate that #colbert is gonna destroy anitas claims

And after, from the same poster:

if the president gets involved with #gamergate and gets it wrong ta-boot. then I will just say F#@k it. it’s not worth living anymore

IF PEOPLE DON’T AGREE WITH ME ABOUT VIDEO GAMES LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING

In addition, they’re very angry that Colbert didn’t mention all the many women who support Gamergate. Like Christina Hoff Summers, Christina Hoff Summers, a cartoon girl they drew, and Christina Hoff Summers. Now they want Colbert to interview Christina Hoff Summers, which holy shit yes please.

I also love them posting 20-minute YouTube videos of beardy guys rambling about the evils of feminism and demanding that Stephen Colbert watch them to “educate” himself. Because he is totally going to do that.

closetpuritan
7 years ago

The whole “we are the PCs, they are the NPCs” thing–I was talking to my husband (a gamer [meaning video games are his primary hobby] but NOT a gamergater–also, he’s not big on FPS so I suppose some people would say he doesn’t count) about how they dehumanize the people who disagree with them and treat it like a game, and he was saying that he thought this type of online harassment was similar to road rage–some people don’t deal well with the distance caused by technology and seem to forget that there are real people on the other side.

It also reminds me of this game trailer–another example of “PCs don’t always have the advantage”. [“We are not the flame! We are the moths, and we are doomed!”]

I also ‘love’ how they talk like everyone who is not a gamergater does not play video games and looks down on gamers.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

I also ‘love’ how they talk like everyone who is not a gamergater does not play video games and looks down on gamers.

Indeed. Even though some of us probably game more than all of them put together (with how much time they spend shitposting up Twitter, there’s no way they’d have the time for it, not to mention the many #Gits who’ve admitted to not playing and looking down on players…).

katz
7 years ago

I don’t like how in the Colbert interview, they didn’t talk at all about ethics in video game journalism. They openly mocked it, even though it’s the main thing GGers are talking about. Just seemed disrespectful and one-sided.

Oh no, a media personality didn’t say what you wanted them to say about you! Better doxx him!

Mock them all you want, but look at how efficient they are at generating talking points and strategy.

I honestly can’t tell if you’re joking.

Shaenon
7 years ago

I’ve spent way too much time thinking about this, because last night I dreamed the Gamergaters were right. In the dream, I played the games cited in the Tropes vs. Women videos, and it turned out the shots were all taken out of context. In every case, only one level had sexist material, and the rest of the game was about women in T-shirts and jeans just going about their business. (Not that I think that would be a good video game, but in my dream that’s what most games were.) And all the games had female PCs. I thought, “Wow! I was so wrong about sexism in video games!”

Then I woke up.

I’m not kidding, this was an actual dream I had. I’ve got to stop reading making my husband read Gamergate threads to me late at night while I play original Mario Galaxy.

kittehserf - MOD
7 years ago

I love the title of PZ Myers’ post about this – Schadenfreude so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw. I haven’t even read it yet but I <3 that title so much.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

#11 is undoubtedly the funniest. These idiots seriously believe they’ll be greeted as liberators? Ask them how that’s going in Iraq again.