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The Top 22 Most Ridiculous Things Said by 8channers About Anita Sarkeesian's Appearance on the Colbert Report

#GamerGate's worst nightmare come true
#GamerGate’s worst nightmare come true

Last night, as you may have heard, the woman known to #GamerGaters as “Literally Who 2” pulled off a bit of a media coup, appearing on The Colbert Report for a brief interview by the sympathetic Colbert, who gently satirized some of the sillier “arguments” of the Gaters with a series of deliberatly obtuse questions. You know, his regular schtick.

When Anita Sarkeesian posted the picture above (well, a non-blurry version of it) to Twitter yesterday evening, thus alerting the world to her upcoming appearance on Colbert’s show, it set off a wave of panic and despair on 8chan’s /gg/ board, one of the central organizing hubs of the GamerGate “movement.”

Some declared it a disaster, the end of GamerGate, while others tried to rally the troops with melodramatic speeches. Still others set forth bizarre conspiracy theories about the evil SJWs who allegedly control the media.

There was so much amazing stuff there that I knew I had to start screencapping like mad.

And so, without further ado, here are the Top 22 Most Ridiculous Things Said on 8Chan About Anita Sarkeesian’s Appearance on the Colbert Report.

1) One anon advised the 8chan army on how to turn this truckload of lemons into lemonade:

ggg1

2) This fella was a little less optimistic. Somehow I’m guessing a lot of his conversations involve bizarrely detailed exegeses of the sinister plots of Cultural Marxism.

ggg2paranoia

3) This fellow suggested that 8chan might be able to lobby Congress for some legislation that would put an end to the SJW “gang.”

ggg5gang

 4) There were a lot of posts like this. GamerGaters just can’t help talking like cartoon supervillains.

ggg8firestarts

5) This guy urgently warned fellow 8channers not to even discuss the highly charged issue of misogyny, ending his little speech with a bizarre kicker not only denying that 8channers had anything to do with the threats and doxxing that have driven Sarkeesian from her home, but flatly denied that the threats and doxxing even happened at all.

ggg9proveotherwise

6) This fella lamented Colbert’s terrible betrayal, and the effect this would have on his late-night television viewing.

ggg12neverfindfunnyagain

7) And this charming post reminded us one of the main reasons why GamerGate increasingly appeals only to trolls and assholes. (Note to 8channers: It’s the picture, derived from an anti-Semitic caricature, that’s the real problem here.)

ggg13anitajew

8) This fella reminded his comrades that media figures like Colbert “never really cared sincerely about vidya [games]” anyway.

ggg14nevercaredvidya

9) And we’re back to the rising fire.

ggg17wrapworldfire

 10) More fire, accompanied this time by the howling wolves of … Twitter.

ggg18howltweet

11) Winston Churchill famously proclaimed that brave British soldiers “shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” This GamerGate warrior will do the same, only with email and Twitter.

ggg19fightwtwitter

12) A lot of 8channers think that Sarkeesian is little more than the brainless puppet of Feminist Frequency co-writer/producer Jonathan McIntosh.

ggg20anitapuppet

13) This melodramatic fella declared in despair that Sarkeesian had won, “sitting in the lap of a group more powerful, tenacious, driven and sinister than you could ever hope to be.”

ggg23oneshot

Huh. I thought they were supposed to be on the side of Truth and Light. Why would GamerGaters hope to be sinister. Could it be that maybe they are the baddies after all?

14) And speaking of GamerGaters monologuing like supervillains …

ggg24ragesuns

15) This fella offered his comrades a “waifu to encourage you along.”

Wait, what?

ggg27chosenundeadwaifu

16) This fella might be spending just a little too much time with the vidya games.

ggg28weareplayerstheyrnpc

17) This commenter thought that the fact that Sarkeesian appeared in public showed that she wasn’t really scared by all the threats she’s gotten. CHECKMATE, SARKEESIAN!

ggg31fearherlife

18) More conspiratorial nonsense about Colbert and his alleged ideological puppetmasters.

ggg32colbertkeptman

19) THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!!

ggg33noyoumove

20) Uh, dude, “some newspaper” in this case was the New York Fucking Times, and it was more than a paragraph.

ggg40somenewspaper

21) This fella hoped that this bitter loss would help to harden the resolve of “weak” GamerGaters.

ggg42galvanizes

22) And this guy brought a report from the far reaches of Upside Down Backwards Land.

ggg37alreadywon

GamerGaters, you are officially ridiculous.

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picklefactory
picklefactory
7 years ago

We are the Chosen Undead. Nothing can stop us but surrender.

Hey… HEY! You leave Dark Souls alone, gamergater goons! It’s too good for the likes of you.

K.R. Syncanna
7 years ago

“We are the players, they are the NPCs”? So telling that these people do not view their opposition as human. It’s also hilarious that they think they are winning.

M'thew
M'thew
7 years ago

How pathetic, all of them. Power fantasies, denial… they remind me of Saddam’s minister of information, Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, who declared that the coalition forces were nowhere, with the sound of the battle in the background.

How juvenile. How pathetic.

ceebarks
ceebarks
7 years ago

Yes, I too consider it much more effective to further my political and social beliefs by commenting anonymously on a message board. The NYT? Literally, what?

ronanwills
7 years ago

I’m kind of cringing thinking about how embarrassed a lot of these people are going to be when they grow up and look back on the shit they wrote in their teens. Good lord, the melodrama…..

schwadevivre
7 years ago

What a load of melodramatic twaddle! How the folking hull can these kids take themselves seriously?
.
.
.
I say that but ! recall all the whimpering,simpering and whining in the chat channels of Guild Wars, Everquest and ESO.

C.S.Strowbridge
C.S.Strowbridge
7 years ago

Wow. That’s some serious denial in the last point. Missed the show last night, but I will check it out on DVR.

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

“We are the players, they are the NPCs”? So telling that these people do not view their opposition as human. It’s also hilarious that they think they are winning.

Isn’t this literally one of the diagnostic criteria for anti-social personality disorder?

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

Oops, blockquote hates me.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

I’ve seen so many #Gits sniffle and cry about how their martyring in the media is going to stop them from ever achieving gainful employment and make them look like villains to their children and grandchildren. No, it’s mind-melting nonsense like this that’s only a Google search away that’s doing it.

(What’s that, #Gits blaming everybody but themselves for something that’s their fault and only their fault? I’m shocked. Shocked, I say.)

LordCrowstaff
LordCrowstaff
7 years ago

All dysentery against her name will have been forgotten? So you could say that GamerGate are the voice of dysentery? That poor guy does NOT know what he wrote there.

Monster Garden
Monster Garden
7 years ago

Do you ever think any channers look around at the over-dramatic speeches their companions make, with all the ridiculous language and hammy imagery, and think “Hans… are we the baddies”?

Or would that require too much self-awareness?

leftwingfox
7 years ago

I’m just wondering how anyone could think that Stewart, Colbert or Oliver would be against Social Justice issues? Complete ignorance, willful ignorance, or do they have a Pavlovian response to audience laughter, and don’t actually understand anything said?

FifthInterval
7 years ago

The combination of (1) over-the-top, maudlin, pathetic pity-poor-me victimhood, (2) impotent-rage tough-guy wannabe posturing, and (3) utterly clueless, juvenile, action-movie-derived beliefs about how the world functions is both astonishing and hilarious.

Misha
Misha
7 years ago

“So I sleep, and when I wake up, I feel that rage of 400 billion suns flare up in me. And it is a good feeling.

Then I return to the battlefield.”

“We are the Chosen Undead. Nothing can stop us but surrender.”

“Tonight, we stand at a pass, just 300 spartans against a phalanx of the likes we’ll never have seen before…”

THEY CAN TAKE OUR TWITTER ACCOUNTS, BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE OUR KEYBOARDS!

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

Also, the fact that they think they “Won” because “SHE DIDN’T LIST THREE GAMES SHE THOUGHT WERE SEXIST” despite more than three being listed during the spot and dozens of other games being listed during her videos… Disagreeing on whether or not some of those games are sexist is fine, I don’t agree with many of them either, but flat-out pretending that she never said anything? What?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

These people are going to be so embarrassed about all this if they ever attain self-awareness.

Sarah
Sarah
7 years ago

The military rhetoric doesn’t surprise me the least. The utter lack of self awareness, however…

K.R. Syncanna
7 years ago

Ikanreed – I do not know, but I would be far from surprised if such is the case.

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
7 years ago

For a video game expert, #16 (“all we have to do is keep grinding”) has some odd blindspots. He’s apparently never played the sort of game where a single bad move can put you into a state where it’s impossible to win, and where there’s no save/restore feature.

Somebody ought to show him Windows Solitaire. They could see how many times he cycles through the deck at the endgame, flipping the same three useless cards over and over again in the hopes that the card he needs will eventually show up.

Holytape
7 years ago

“Hey, I’ve been think,…” said @Slithlordbigman

“About our awesome crusade against unethical behavior in games journalism?” replied @Gamerdude.

“No, not really. No something else….. Have you been paying attention to our avatars?” Slithlorbigman said hesitantly.

“Not really, but I’m going to guess that they are awesome representations of how we aren’t going to take shit from unethical games journalists.” Gamerdude said as he scanned his twitter feed.

“Not really. It’s always Bane, the Joker, that weird gang leader from the movie ‘Warriors’, or some other comic book villain. Can you think of avatars that are worse than those to represent a movement of truth and justice?”

“Hitler?” Gamerdude said.

“And if the Social Justice Warriors were tweeting and positing using a picture of Hitler, I would feel a little more comfortable. But they are not.” replied Sithlordbigman. “And if this movement is about ethics, then why are we even talking about feminism? Why is the main talking point of journalistic ethics, how bad feminists are?”

“Your point?” Gamerdude looked up.

“Gamerdude, are we,….. you know, are we the baddies?”

ktrantingredhead
7 years ago

They keep saying they’ve “won,” but what exactly does that mean for them to win? Does that mean that feminists will just fuck off and die forever? Does that mean that video game developers will fire all their female employees? Does that mean feminists will stop being interviewed and asked about videogames? Does that mean feminism is over? From every measure I can think of they are losing…and not just any loss…massive, bloody, crippling, devastating loss…yet they keep claiming they’re winning. Maybe my lower, unevolved, unsophisticated, feminist, reptilian brain just can’t comprehend their highly complex definition of victory….

Bonelady
Bonelady
7 years ago

Good golly, Miss Molly…. What is wrong with these guys? Are they actually buying Vox Day’s nonsense about them?

“At this point, #GamerGate is about more than games now. It is a Schwerpunkt in the ongoing cultural war for the West. And the gamers of #GamerGate are the only defenders of freedom and Western civilization who are counterattacking and causing enemy casualties. That is why it is more than important, it is vital to see non-gamers joining the cause rather than sneering from the sidelines.

Because if the pinkshirts haven’t come after you and yours yet, they assuredly will so long as you have not submitted to them.” (Sorry, I don’t know how to do blockquotes here.)

Vox Popoli 10/30/14

The level of irrationality is just astounding.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

@Bonelady

… Schwerpunkt. As in literal Nazi terminology for the planning of the Blitzkreig and other operations. Referring back to “Are we the baddies”…

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Can they not sign up for the local community theater? Surely that would be a more productive way to express their need to create drama. The only problem would be getting them to ease up on the scene chewing a bit.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
7 years ago

*Blitzkrieg, even. Coffee required.

M. Tremblay
M. Tremblay
7 years ago

The melodrama is strong in this one. Geez…

sorceressensorcelled
sorceressensorcelled
7 years ago

#8 is really bothering me, or a specific part of it at least. Dude, no, you do not get to claim that people think you’re weird because you “still play games”. EVERYONE plays games, at EVERY age, even if they’re not video games. Even different SPECIES are known to play games. Playing and having fun are fundamental to health for many creatures. People think you’re weird and evil because you’re making threats over games, dumbass! Unless you think making threats and playing games are the same thing…

… Oh, wait…

picklefactory
picklefactory
7 years ago

At this point, #GamerGate is about more than games now. It is a Schwerpunkt in the ongoing cultural war for the West.

Dark Enlightenment gits never stop with this sort of blather, as if they were participating in some kind of noble Kulturkampf. Anyone with their head screwed on straight knows a pack of entitled assholes when they see one — just be glad it wasn’t another 7000 words I guess.

JC
JC
7 years ago

These 8chumps are sooo tedious. And really over the top in their melodramatic rhetoric.

Mercy
Mercy
7 years ago

My brain is getting stuck on “all dysentery against her name”. Um… What? Did they confuse dissent and defamation and somehow come up with dysentery?

A Rose for Emily
A Rose for Emily
7 years ago

Wait. SJWs control the media? Who are these SJWs that control the media?

I notice that there are no vowels in SJW. Maybe that’s a clue? What if we put in some vowels? S… o… J… e… W… s…?

Oh my God. Those SJWs are SoJeWs! Alert the medi… oh, right.

FifthInterval
7 years ago

I forgot to add “Nazi fetishism” to my list of hilarious stew ingredients. Seriously, fascism is how these idiots define “western civilization”?

Arnold Maynard
Arnold Maynard
7 years ago

I skimmed looking really hard for all the violence, hate, and misogyny that gamergate is so famous for, couldn’t find it. Weird.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
7 years ago

Ho-lee shit. The propaganda machine is going full tilt. Seconding the people who are confused how anyone could believe Colbert wouldn’t be on the side of SJ folks (despite some of the problematic stuff on his show).

Forget the “are we the baddies” comparisons… These guys are turning 8chan into North Korea without the Dear Leader. Pretty soon they’ll have their own internal news feeds where they spin every public interaction as a win for the movement and refuse to read anything else.

This just shows, though, that any attempt at reasoning with them is pretty much hopeless. They are embroiled in conspiracy theory, thinking they are the last decent people raging against the SJ machine. Hopefully their tantrum sputters out soon, with all the vitriolic energy they’re expending, and they start living in the real world again.

grumpyoldnurse
7 years ago

So, I would be interested in knowing how someone’s development goes so far awry that when they read Superman, they start thinking “wow! I want to be Lex!!” and then grow up to try to realise just that ambition. Except they pick the most ridiculous way to do it. I guess that I should be glad they’re confining themselves to writing long-winded, self-indulgent screeds on the internet instead of going forth and actually trying to take over the world in a practical fashion. But seriously, guys, threatening someone’s life over a media review? Self-aggrandisement much?

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

@holytape chans don’t have avatars. They’re purposefully anonymous, no user identity attached to posts.

They images you’re seeing are ones that these users think are particularly topical to what they’re saying.

grumpyoldnurse
7 years ago

Seriously, fascism is how these idiots define “western civilization”?

Yeah, the lack of self-awareness fascinates me.

Hopefully their tantrum sputters out soon, with all the vitriolic energy they’re expending, and they start living in the real world again.

I, personally, question whether they ever did live in the real world in the first place. I rather doubt they could find it with Google maps and a GPS.

mildlymagnificent
7 years ago

These people are going to be so embarrassed about all this if they ever attain self-awareness.

And let that happen every time they wake for many, many months before they can pick up the shattered pieces of their brittle egos and start functioning like a halfway decent person.

Until that day, they can step on legos.

sunnysombrera
7 years ago

#11…

HOLD THE PHONE. When we were posting “actually its about ethics” memes a few posts back I used Churchill’s speech to mock gamergate, and this guy is mimicking said speech in all seriousness? LOL!

You just can’t parody them anymore. They do it themselves with near expertise.

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

@grumpyoldnurse

Some depictions of Lex Luthor are sympathetic. In some renderings he’s just a brilliant, populist xenophobe who doesn’t like the idea of his species’ morality being dictated by an alien.

If they’re a republican or off brand republican-lite, that’s almost a perfect match for how they’d think about it.

tinyorc
7 years ago

The NYT and the Colbert Report are definitely the last resort of desperate, irrelevant, regressive, reactionary, morally bankrupt ideologues. Seriously, the NYT is where you wash up when you’re so repugnant that even 4chan won’t host your bile.

Oh no, wait, that’s 8chan. My bad.

vaiyt
7 years ago

I’m just wondering how anyone could think that Stewart, Colbert or Oliver would be against Social Justice issues? Complete ignorance, willful ignorance, or do they have a Pavlovian response to audience laughter, and don’t actually understand anything said?

#GG is composed of the dregs of nerd culture, sub-intellectuals unwilling to understand anything they watch beyond the superficial level. Just look at their deeply ironic choice of icons – Bane, who spent the entirety of TDK lying to his audience as a cover for his destructive agenda; Leonidas, who lost his battle while the Athenians he mocked went on to win the war; the Imperium of Man, a deeply xenophobic and dictatorial organization that only looks heroic because it’s defending humanity’s survival in an unfathomably crapsacky setting…

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
7 years ago

Do you ever think any channers look around at the over-dramatic speeches their companions make, with all the ridiculous language and hammy imagery, and think “Hans… are we the baddies”?

Or would that require too much self-awareness?

I think anybody with enough self-awareness to get that would have left already. It’s like the whole bit about ‘evaporative cooling’ of beliefs in doomsday cults post-doomsday… the people that reason will work on have pretty much all already left and what’s left is group-reinforced delusions.

zennurse
zennurse
7 years ago

They got nothing. Zoe Quinn was interviewed by the BBC and Brianna Wu is on the Boston Globe page.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Holy carpets, the melodrama. These screencaps need some silent movie piano suspense chords to go with them.

Contact your local senator/congressman to get the legisltation started

Yes, this is an urgent matter that needs careful consideration by our nation’s lawmakers.

DEAR CONGRESSMAN, I DONT LIKE SJW GANGS PLEEZ BAN. WITH YOUR RADIOACTIVE LEGISLTATING SUPERPOWERS. THEY ARE BAD. ALSO PLS HAVE THE GOVERNMENT PROVIDE ME A GIRLFRIEND. SINCERELY.

WE CARE ABOUT INTEGRITY, ETHICS, HONESTY AND TRANSPARENCY IN THE MEDIA AND PRESS

And yet, none of the GGs are pillorying the journalist who supposedly traded a review for sex. Funny, that.

Falconer
7 years ago

If that one ‘gator thinks GG is unstoppable because they’re the PCs and the rest of us are the NPCs… they’ve never seen a Total Party Kill, have they? NPCs even in the most casual of games can mess you up if you let yourself get just that same kind of sense of invulnerability.

Also w00t for them objectifying women (“here’s a waifu for you”) while denying that they’re at all sexist.

Rocketroach
Rocketroach
7 years ago

The sheer irony of the first poster bringing up the Streisand Effect as Sarkeesian’s possible undoing is simply amazing.

grumpyoldnurse
7 years ago

@ ikanreed – fair enough criticism. I am not very familiar with Superman arcs (obvs 🙂 ) and was thinking of the Good v. Evil comics that I would sneak from my cousins when I was a kid.

Maybe I should have said, “what makes someone want to grow up to be a caricature of the baddies?”.

vaiyt
7 years ago

Please. We’re talking to people who speak of fighting censorship in the same breath where they want laws to make disagreeing with them illegal. Everything is spin and lies.

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