So everyone’s favorite reactionary racist woman-hating fantasy author Vox Day has weighed in on that street harassment video that’s been going around. And his comments will shock you.
At least if you’re easily shocked and have never read any of my previous posts about him.
It’s not exactly a surprise that Vox thinks that street harassment isn’t really harassment, just a bunch of “unsolicited compliments and greetings” from friendly fellows.
But Vox does have one criticism of the non-harassers. They’re not doing it right.
Specifically, they’re being too nice to the women they’re pestering.
The ironic thing is that these men have it all wrong anyhow. They’d be much more likely to get a response from her if they glanced at her and laughed, rolled their eyes, or sniffed dismissively. Street neg, one might say.
So ladies, if you’re walking down the street and some angry weirdo sniffs dismissively in your direction, don’t be surprised if you suddenly feel a strong urge to bear his children. Because sniffing dismissively is a total Alpha move.
Vox’s regular commenters had a few thoughts of their own.
“The more we ignore them, the more they want us. Amusing creatures,” Laguna Feach Fogey sniffed dismissively.
“The day the catcalls finally stop will be far more traumatic for her than the catcalls have been,” Retrenched laughed.
“The poor thing ! but in a couple of decades she will be sexually invisible and all her problems will be solved,” PjBlue added, rolling his eyes dramatically.
Several others suggested that the woman in the sexual harassment video brought it on herself by dressing like a harlot … in a t-shirt and jeans.
“In other words,” cailcorishev wrote,
clothes that show off every curve of her body to greatest effect, so that everyone who sees her can tell from a mile away just how large and perky her goodies are. If her great-grandmother could see her, she’d be scandalized that she’s going outside practically naked.
Today I Learned that wearing clothes that cover up most of your body is the same as going outside practically naked.
Jimmy jambo offered the woman some style tips.
You’re supposed to wear baggy clothes and a hoodie so no one can see your face. I suppose this is what regular women face, but the world has already changed. Men are not required to be polite to women as in chivalry so catcalls are no different than name calling.
Wait, what?
@cassandrakitty
AGREED.
ryeash, yep. They edited out the white dude who assaulted her. What the actual fuck?!? Groping isn’t “harassy” enough?
I’m 100% with you on the way the people at Hollaback edited this video to magically disappear all the harassment-prone white men and how unacceptable that is, but you realize that the fact that black men don’t get up in your face as aggressively as white men do is partly because you have white privilege, right? We’re less than 100 years away from the time when black men were getting lynched for even smiling at a white woman in this country. Let’s not pretend that doesn’t still have an impact on the way interactions between black men and white women play out now.
@cassandrakitty
You’re spot on with that. I feel stupid now, because I didn’t even give a thought to my ex telling me about black men trying to lay claim on her because she was the same race.
I don’t even notice what specific profile the “hey beautiful” “Can I fuck you?” “Yo BITCH” comments come from, mostly because they are drive bys more often than not, but the ones that are so over the fucking top…almost always white dudes. The ones where I can’t fucking help but to notice every goddamn thing about him? He’s always white, except for that one time.
And it’s appalling that the bomb/death/rape threats that women with opinions get are spilling over onto the actress, like wtf? Introspection…you’re doing it wrong.
On a side note, most hilarious YouTube comment? “So a guy says “Have a nice day” and you want us to give you money?”. WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?!? WHY IS THERE THIS IDEA THAT EVERYTIME A WOMAN SAYS NO IT MEANS “PAY ME NOW”!?! *head explodes*
The dudes who casually reach out and tousle my child’s hair? ALWAYS WHITE. Happens way too fucking often, too. She’s 5, stop touching her, stop harassing her! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH
Well we’re women, so clearly anything we complain about is really about us wanting men’s money.
Part of what privilege does is makes it easy for the people with it not to notice things that should be obvious, you know? My first thought was that the grandad in your one anecdote was trying to protect his grandson, not you.
(Which is not a criticism of him at all. People should try to protect their families.)
It’s a thing that hit me really hard when I first realized it during the period where my family lived in Texas, that the reason older black men were sometimes weirdly deferential towards child-me was that they were scared not to be, because they were old enough to remember a time when being insufficiently deferential got people killed on a regular basis. That was a long time ago, but sadly I don’t think much has changed.
Actually, me and the grandad–Abraham–had interacted on a few occasions. I complemented one of his awesome Frankenbikes, and he usually stopped me afterwards to describe the process of making whatever bike he was currently riding. We also talked music, because he was a big Doors fan.
He and his daughter were lecturing the kid who had “holla’d” at me about respecting women. I kind of awkwardly smiled and waved, because I didn’t want to not acknowledge them but I felt weird witnessing family stuff.
You’re completely right, though–it’s easy to overlook privilege when you’ve lived with it all your life. I did experience some prejudice towards me as a white kid, though. My family emigrated here from Ireland four generations ago during the potato famine, and the black kids in my grade school would smack me over the head or shove me backwards in the lunch line for “owning their kin”. I didn’t understand it as a kid, and I usually fought back because I was pissed off at being falsely accused. I understand now why they were so pissed off at me, but at the time I was just mad about being pushed around for something I didn’t do.
Cassandra – Their pumpkin cranberry scones are legit, but I’m about ready for the pumpkin spice thing to be done, too.
ryeash- That sounds like my husband.
He’s so white that the only way he gets any color besides red is if his arm freckles start to merge together.
I joke that my mighty muttness keeps me safe from The Dreaded Daystar.
*throws confetti made from my 23andme report*
Re: race, racism, and being hit on / public harrassment: The most obnoxious, bar none, have been the white guys. As some have pointed out, their initial interaction isn’t always the worst, but they get the most offended/agitated when you don’t respond.
Though, in my area and in my case at least, Latinos have been the most vocal. I was genuinely puzzled by it when I moved back here, but a few people explained that I looked like (at least when I was younger) some Spanish-language TV star (I don’t remember her name). BUT no one ever got as rude/graphic as the white guys would.
Must be an entitlement thing.
YES PLEASE!
That was my first thought, too, and I thought about saying something about it, but 1) white and 2) male, so I didn’t want to look like I was ‘splaining.
… So instead I’m posting this and looking like OMG ME 2 GUIZE.
Some of you have mentioned the fear people instill in women that they might end up alone if they don’t put up with abusive, insulting behavior. Men aren’t the only ones propagating this idea. It’s the media, some mothers, …. etc. This idea that women give men their youth in exchange for companionship “late” in life (30+) when no man who would want her
@diana6815: Yeah, the Old Maid Cat Lady is a cultural meme. Men aren’t the only ones who spread it, but we’re the primary ones who benefit from it.
And you talk about “the media” like it’s a separate entity that men have no influence over. Yeah, right.
Crud…I posted prematurely š here’s the rest (plus a correction of the last line)
when no man who wasn’t obligated to stay would want her …
this idea is dangerous and damaging and if nothing else changes in the next couple of decades, I hope this does. It’s already started to change…statistics show that many women marry later … and those marriages fare better (probably because at that age, people know themselves better … know more what they want … are more established).
We need to stop telling women that they must settle or their life is worth nothing. That they are only valuable while youthful and fertile. That they fail at life if a man hasn’t claimed them.
There is so much to life outside of romance and family (career, friends, travel, etc.). Romance and family are important, but they shouldn’t be ALL that is important for women. Men are certainly not limited in this way.
I hope we get to the point where succeeding at life for women is loving themselves and having a fulfilling, enjoyable life, whatever that means for particular women.
@falconer
I didn’t mean to say that men are separate from the media. Both men and women, mostly men, are part of it certainly. I was just writing quickly (and I actually accidentally posted my comment before I was done writing it). Sorry if I was imprecise.
hahahahaha…That is wonderful, cassandrakitty. Thanks. I cannot wait to tell my kids that I inadvertently identified myself as a….RAISIN!!! Ain’t quite that wrinkly, yet. š
I’ve heard from other women that white dudes are creepier, but they generally don’t notice me or something. It could be the shaved head, which you don’t see often on white girls, or just that I don’t fit the “white” standards of beauty. Most of the time, when black guys make comments, it doesn’t seem too threatening or anything, but it adds to the general background levels of annoyance/harassment/feeling like public property. I did, a few months ago, have two guys – one black, one Hispanic – following me down the street while I was walking alone at night, one of them yelling “Hey cousin, come back here! Talk to me! Why you always so mean to me!” I ducked inside a shop that was luckily open late (head shop) and the people working there shooed them off when they tried to follow me in.
(I also grew up “po’ white trash,” which isn’t really “white” in the sense in which “white” is typically used, which is to say “white and middle class.” I doubt that that can be read just from appearance or walking down the street, but I have wondered before.)
That’s okay, diana6815, I didn’t realize you weren’t done.
Who’s creepiest to me depends on what race they’re assuming I am to a certain degree. The way white guys talk to me when they’re reading me as hispanic? Again, pretty damn eye-opening.
(Addressing women as a type of food that you associate with what you assume to be their ethnicity? Don’t do that, guys.)
The thing is that white dudes are the most likely to escalate and the most likely to feel entitled to *all* women regardless of race. I’ve had black dudes harass me, sure. I’ve had First Nations dudes harass me. I’ve had ultra religious Sikh dudes tell me I’m evil for showing skin. I do sometimes notice, but none of these men have ever actually made me feel unsafe it is always white dudes who instill fear. Maybe my perception is racist (men of colour have less power)? I just don’t notice an overwhelming majority of the ignorable harassment being men of colour, I guess. Also it’s always white dudes creepy eyefucking me. Always.
So…I took Vox’ advice. Walking through the Atlanta airport. I tried sniffing (disdainfully of course) alone, rolling my eyes alone, and combination sniff-roll and roll-sniff.
I think most people took me for someone with Tourette’s syndrome and a bad cold. 100% of the “high-value women” I tried this on just walked by.
Maybe my sniffing technique needs work.
I’ve definitely noticed that the likelihood of men who’re not white escalating from verbal harassment to something more physical is higher when they’re reading me as hispanic (or sometimes persian or arab) than when they’re reading me as white. White guys will harass anyone they feel like harassing, but again, it gets worse if they don’t think you’re white.
Yeah, white-skinned Scot here. (yes, red-haired as well)
Pigment is not something I have a lot of, except for my freckles, and I never tan.
Bright sun gives me blinding headaches too. An opthalmologist once had a look, and said it was because the back of my eyes lacked protective pigmentation as well.
It would be a pain if I was more of an outdoors person, but as it is I prefer to lurk inside with books, crafts and a computer, and this can give me a valid excuse š