So I was idly perusing Janet “JudgyBitch” Bloomfield’s Twitter yesterday, and I came across an alarming tweet. It seemed as though Bloomfield had somehow penetrated the 47 levels of security protecting the Feminist HIgh Council to discover incontrovertible evidence of Operation Wicked Succubus. You know, the feminist plan to eliminate all men (except for me).
https://twitter.com/BloomfieldJanet/status/523458962704699393
Her followers were aghast:
And naturally one of them brought up #GamerGate.
There were a few others, but you get the idea.
It never occurred to any of them to, you know, try to find out just who the bald man advocating killing all men was. Or who exactly he was talking to.
So I decided to do some serious investigative journalism to see what I could uncover. I typed out “‘eliminate men as a gender’ security” into a little known internet “search engine” called Google, and boldly clicked on the first result.
This led me to a Tweet with a URL in it. Bravely, I clicked on that URL and found myself looking at a video of a presentation at something called Monitorama PDX 2014 — clearly the code name for one of the Feminist Conspiracy’s conventions.
I looked it up in Google and discovered a web page for the event, which had been held in May. It was described as an “An Open Source Monitoring Conference & Hackathon.”
Ah, clearly a clever Feminist code name.
And then I decided to look up the name of the speaker: James Mickens. Turns out the guy works at Microsoft, one of the companies at the center of the Misandrist Conspiracy. Mickens is also the author of a number of papers, with titles like “Pivot: Fast, Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains” and “Mugshot: Deterministic Capture and Replay for JavaScript Applications.”
Obviously, some high level feminist theorizing.
Then I decided to watch the video. And I was shocked!
Because it wasn’t a speech about killing all men after all. It wasn’t even a feminist speech. No, it seemed instead to be a highly technical talk about internet security issues, illustrated with a lot of silly slides. Like this:
And this:
I must confess that I didn’t get the overwhelming majority of his jokes. But he audience seemed to find these slides, and much of what he said, hilarious. So if you ever need to hire a comedian who can joke about Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains, Mickens is your guy.
So where does the whole “kill all men” thing come from?
Well, I skipped ahead a bit in the video until I found a section in which Mickens talked about the dumb things people do that can undermine even the most sophisticated security setup.
His example: gullible, horny men who are tricked into “friending” hackers on Facebook posing as hot babes — even when there are pretty obvious indications that the hot babes aren’t really hot babes at all.
Things like: saying they graduated from Central University, even though there is no school by that name in the US, or spelling the name of their profession wrong.
These are all good clues, he said, that the hot babe you just friended on facebook was really this guy:
Given that men are regularly duped with simple tricks that play on their horniness and gullibility, Mickens joked, maybe the real goal for people trying to design secure systems should be the elimination of all men.
So that’s where the slide comes from.
And by the way, that whole bit of his killed — not as in “killed all men” but as in “got giant laughs from the mostly male audience.” Expecially the part about killing all men.
If you want to see the whole bit, starting with Mary and ending with “eliminate men as a gender,” it starts at around 20:40 in the video.
Men’s Rights Activists: more gullible than guys who friend Mary from Central University on Facebook.
NOTE TO EXTREMELY LITERAL-MINDED MRAS: That bit about the feminist plot to kill all men (except me) at the start of this post was a joke. Feminists don’t really intend to kill all men (except me).
Or do they?
Ninja’d?
So, the feminists do intend to kill you, David?
The gamergaters are so incredibly shameless about doing things like blackmail and bribery and then acting morally superior about it. It’s like a hostage taker being all, “I’ll kill these hostages if you don’t give me a million dollars! What, you say you don’t negotiate with terrorists? Aren’t these people’s lives worth a million dollars to you? You’re condoning murder!”
Wasn’t she banned from Twitter? Did she somehow manage to get her account reinstated?
“Feminists don’t really intend to kill all men (except me).”
Wait, we want to kill you? I must have missed that meeting!
*above is a joke on the ambiguity of the English grammar, just in case…*
JB’s next Twitter update
“See, they do want to kill him, those whores! They admitted it! Now do you see where being a white night gets you? Also, whores.”
“I read through some of JB’s tweets and honestly, all I heard was, “I’m saying offensive things! Pay attention to MEEEEEEEE!!!!!””
Curiously, that’s exactly what Anita Sarkeesian is doing on Twitter “OMG they’re threatening MEEEEEE!!!! But I can’t trust the police to take care of those threats because PATRIARCHY. To the twitter outrage mobile!”
“The gamergaters are so incredibly shameless about doing things like blackmail and bribery and then acting morally superior about it.”
Do you mean thing like doxxing women who disagree with you and joke about your habits of smearing other with rape accusations?
Because that’s exactly what Rebecca Watson and PZ Myers are doing. But maybe you think that if they’re doing it “For Greater Justice!” they’re completely right.
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones around.
Geez, does everyone have to keep reminding me of Swordfish? I hated that movie.
Special Snowflakes. That explains everything.
I find it hilarious that she’s yattering on about feminists allegedly wanting to kill all men, while she’s simultaneously yattering on about…wanting to kill a man. A FEMINIST man.
Srsly, if her “logic” held any water, wouldn’t she just have to pick up the phone and set the cops on David? I mean, they ARE supposed to be busting men for doing absolutely nothing, just on the say-so of women. If you believe THAT woman’s say-so.
She’s been caught making shit up whole cloth so many times now and her fans are so fucking gullible that they still swallow the lies hook line and sinker?
Wow.
How many of these people are currently awaiting a direct deposit from a Nigerian prince, I wonder?
I wans’t quite sure where to post this but Anita Sarkeesian just appeared on my favorite mainstream news show Melissa Harris Perry on MSNBC. She discusses #gamergate:
I wonder if Ms. Perry will be receiving any interesting new Tweets ,now. She’s fairly well known journalist and teacher.
Janet Bloomfield’s Coultergeist-Lite crib sheet:
1. Join right-wing “movement” with vague and nebulous (but hateful) purposes.
2. Spout outrageous shit at every opportunity. Or just wing it.
3. ???
4. $$$PROFIT$$$! (And talk show appearances! Squeeee!)
Christ, I never saw anyone more desperate to be liked than JB.
The idea does exist. I once read an article in Utne reader theorizing that DNA and cloning technology would make men uneeded for reproduction, making possible a Utopian society with no men. Yes, its fringe idea, but it exists outside of jokes on how to prevent security exploits using attractive female models as bait.
I can absolutely see the mra spin this one:
“Well sure, maybe THIS time it was a guy making a joke at a tech security conference, but killing all men is definitely something all the feminists want! And anyway how do we know the Microsoft guy isn’t a male feminist? Or that he wasn’t forced to make those jokes (probably at gunpoint) by female feminists?! HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT FEMINISM WHEN THEY’RE FORCING MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES AT GUNPOINT TO SUPPORT MALE GENOCIDE??!!!??!”
And today in Things That Make Me Want To Vomit Up My Breakfast, there’s a sub on Reddit called r/breakfeminazis, that appears to be basically revenge porn fantasy for antifeminist types. This is apparently the sub’s description (didn’t dare look at the sub myself, so don’t know how bad it is, or even if it’s active. Found it mentioned in a thread on the r/gamerghazi sub):
So it seems to be pretty much a “Let’s fap to what would happen if the manosphere got what it wanted” sub.
Makes sense iff by man she means man having the proper hatred of women etc (Also certainly other qualifiers).. If not, that’s what called a mangina, isn’t, so not included in “compassion for men”
Microsoft is obviously misandrist. I mean look at the name, Micro-soft,certainly devirilizing.
Well, NaturalNews has been claiming that Microsoft has secret plans to commit genocide on all non-white men,* so they’ve clearly just decided to deal with the white men too, for the sake of completeness.
*Their evidence is that Bill Gates has donated money to research semipermanent male birth control options, which is an obvious prelude to mandatory sterilization.
Yeah, NO. If slavery is our “natural condition”, why are we not born in chains? And if this is a Historical Chronicle of the Gender Civil Wars (that last, BTW, makes ZERO sense, since a civil war happens within one country…or one gender), then why is it a hypothetical scenario?
Words, they mean things.
I know the intention of that little wank summary is to make women quake in our boots in fear but all I can think is “what a bunch of sad, pathetic, painfully insecure manchildren”. Nobody writes something like that unless he knows very well that every woman he encounters views him with about as much enthusiasm as the random piece of dogshit that she’s trying to scrape off her shoe on the edge of the sidewalk – a repulsive but momentary inconvenience with no real relevance to her life whatsoever.
Welp, the gender war that these dudes have been preparing for and ranting about their entire adult lives isn’t coming soon enough… To the fap fiction!
(is “fap fiction” a real term? please let it be a real term…)
It is now 😀
The “hot” gender war. Because killing women is sexy.
(There’s a truly horrifying Japanese game called “Battle Raper” that I suspect these dudes would just love. As usual, they’re way behind the curve.)
Wait, is this subreddit where that weird wank fantasy about the underwater rape prison for feminists came from?