So I was idly perusing Janet “JudgyBitch” Bloomfield’s Twitter yesterday, and I came across an alarming tweet. It seemed as though Bloomfield had somehow penetrated the 47 levels of security protecting the Feminist HIgh Council to discover incontrovertible evidence of Operation Wicked Succubus. You know, the feminist plan to eliminate all men (except for me).
https://twitter.com/BloomfieldJanet/status/523458962704699393
Her followers were aghast:
And naturally one of them brought up #GamerGate.
There were a few others, but you get the idea.
It never occurred to any of them to, you know, try to find out just who the bald man advocating killing all men was. Or who exactly he was talking to.
So I decided to do some serious investigative journalism to see what I could uncover. I typed out “‘eliminate men as a gender’ security” into a little known internet “search engine” called Google, and boldly clicked on the first result.
This led me to a Tweet with a URL in it. Bravely, I clicked on that URL and found myself looking at a video of a presentation at something called Monitorama PDX 2014 — clearly the code name for one of the Feminist Conspiracy’s conventions.
I looked it up in Google and discovered a web page for the event, which had been held in May. It was described as an “An Open Source Monitoring Conference & Hackathon.”
Ah, clearly a clever Feminist code name.
And then I decided to look up the name of the speaker: James Mickens. Turns out the guy works at Microsoft, one of the companies at the center of the Misandrist Conspiracy. Mickens is also the author of a number of papers, with titles like “Pivot: Fast, Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains” and “Mugshot: Deterministic Capture and Replay for JavaScript Applications.”
Obviously, some high level feminist theorizing.
Then I decided to watch the video. And I was shocked!
Because it wasn’t a speech about killing all men after all. It wasn’t even a feminist speech. No, it seemed instead to be a highly technical talk about internet security issues, illustrated with a lot of silly slides. Like this:
And this:
I must confess that I didn’t get the overwhelming majority of his jokes. But he audience seemed to find these slides, and much of what he said, hilarious. So if you ever need to hire a comedian who can joke about Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains, Mickens is your guy.
So where does the whole “kill all men” thing come from?
Well, I skipped ahead a bit in the video until I found a section in which Mickens talked about the dumb things people do that can undermine even the most sophisticated security setup.
His example: gullible, horny men who are tricked into “friending” hackers on Facebook posing as hot babes — even when there are pretty obvious indications that the hot babes aren’t really hot babes at all.
Things like: saying they graduated from Central University, even though there is no school by that name in the US, or spelling the name of their profession wrong.
These are all good clues, he said, that the hot babe you just friended on facebook was really this guy:
Given that men are regularly duped with simple tricks that play on their horniness and gullibility, Mickens joked, maybe the real goal for people trying to design secure systems should be the elimination of all men.
So that’s where the slide comes from.
And by the way, that whole bit of his killed — not as in “killed all men” but as in “got giant laughs from the mostly male audience.” Expecially the part about killing all men.
If you want to see the whole bit, starting with Mary and ending with “eliminate men as a gender,” it starts at around 20:40 in the video.
Men’s Rights Activists: more gullible than guys who friend Mary from Central University on Facebook.
NOTE TO EXTREMELY LITERAL-MINDED MRAS: That bit about the feminist plot to kill all men (except me) at the start of this post was a joke. Feminists don’t really intend to kill all men (except me).
Or do they?
I love knitting, but my death squad uniform would honestly only be half done if I did it that way… I’d start that, and then halfway through start on a death squad cap, and then halfway through I’d start on gloves, and then halfway through… Yea, I have a lot of half finished knitting projects…
Cor, you’re a braver soul than me, drmrsthemonarch! I just can’t with all the GG stuff now.
What do you think of Raw Story’s new format? I took one look and went BLERGH.
Well, how about that. For once, I agree with Janet Fucking Bloomfield about something. Comparing feminists to Nazis IS weak!
As weak as the mind of one who would see a picture like that and NOT do any detective work to determine its provenance. Much less realize how very, very wrong a conclusion she has just jumped to.
Man, what a Judgy Idiot.
SittieKitty, sounds like my knitting collection (ie. bags full of odd yarn and half-done stuff).
D’you use Ravelry at all?
Ah, the schadenfreude, it burns! But i like it! 🙂
Creepy covert death threats from a deeply wretched person. Blech. Sorry you are in the line of fire, David.
I really resent the implication that my double major in Studies and Academics from Central University is worthless.
Every time someone links to a twitter exchange it confirms my opinion that it is a fever swamp I want nothing to do with.
Honestly, with that level of incompetence, there’s nothing standing in the way of JB being elected to Congress.
For my daily act of misandry I told a friend with meningitis that he had cooties and that it would be ok because my intelligence creates antibodies so I’m immune. #KillAllCooties!
Ever since the epic PR mastery that was the International Conference for Manly Men and Their Loyal Ladies’ Auxiliary last summer, every time JudgyBitch’s twitter feed comes up, I hear this commercial, with WHORE instead of SQUIRT.
WHORE.
Penguin WHORE.
Anachronist WHORE.
whore whore whore.
Then I looked up cooties on Wikipedia and found out that anyone older than ten saying “cooties” is exhibiting cruelty, so it totally was misandry. Wiki said so.
Woot! Extra misandry points for Shaun! You’ll meet your monthly quota in no time 🙂
I think JB is opting for one of Fox News’s tried and true tactics: say something you know to be false, quietly retract it later, then watch as the retraction fails to catch up with the original rumor, which thousands of people now believe.
JB doesn’t have to even believe this slide was from a real feminist presentation. All that matters is that other MRAs will believe it, and keep us busy by trying to “gotcha” us with it.
She really is the FUX Snooze of “human rights”, isn’t she? She distorts; we deride.
Wow, how does this JB person get or keep a job or any friends? I am so, so, so thankful I will never have to interact with her in my offline life. Dang.
How long before JB gets herself another twitter timeout?
I actually hoped she’d been banned when the tweet drsthemonarch posted upthread didn’t embed. No such luck…
kitteh, I do use ravelry! I’m pretty sure that it was a discussion about knitting here that pointed me in it’s direction, possibly even you talking about knitting a scottish(?) hat! I now have … boxes… of yarn and half finished projects lol. My mom had a crap load of yarn she didn’t even know she had and gave it to me; it was a literal suitcaseful.
Seconded!
Well when it first changed a troll said it looked like a tabloid, and actually I have to agree. Plus the new formatting really messes up my NoScript, AdBlock, Ghostery and other tinfoil hattery.
I actually find GGers way more tolerable than MRAs. Possibly because they’re newer to their particular brand of “online discourse” and are, frankly, pretty bad at it. They flounce frequently.
A suitcaseful! Blimey!
::looks at state of bedroom::
… come to think of it I’ve probably got that much.
I couldn’t remember if we were talking about Ravelry while you were active here or after. My memory, it is a sieve, with very large holes. Glad you got to the site, anyways. They have some gorgeous patterns for FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Why bother? Her cronies have already shown they have no problem in believing blatantly false things as long as they “sound like” something they’d want to hear.
Speaking of GG…this is completely bizarre, even by GG standards.
https://storify.com/x_glitch/when-the-gamergate-mob-targeted-anil-dash-for-no-r
Yeah, I wasn’t at all happy with RS’s change of format. I haven’t read it since. If it screws around with Adblock, that’s even more reason not to bother.
Truth to tell I’m just over reading about gamergate. It’s the same harrassment and threats women receive every. fucking. day, whether it’s (allegedly) about games or anything else.
I think for my death squad uniform I’ll use the outfit I put together for the fun text game from that thread last week; a Hawaiian shirt, black utilikilt, knee high vegan leather boots, and a tiara. SPOILER ALERT– I was so ready for all the dancing at the end! Pew! PEW!
Also, the look on that cat’s face when the person’s hand disturbs xir soak is one that I wish to perfect.