So I was idly perusing Janet “JudgyBitch” Bloomfield’s Twitter yesterday, and I came across an alarming tweet. It seemed as though Bloomfield had somehow penetrated the 47 levels of security protecting the Feminist HIgh Council to discover incontrovertible evidence of Operation Wicked Succubus. You know, the feminist plan to eliminate all men (except for me).
https://twitter.com/BloomfieldJanet/status/523458962704699393
Her followers were aghast:
And naturally one of them brought up #GamerGate.
There were a few others, but you get the idea.
It never occurred to any of them to, you know, try to find out just who the bald man advocating killing all men was. Or who exactly he was talking to.
So I decided to do some serious investigative journalism to see what I could uncover. I typed out “‘eliminate men as a gender’ security” into a little known internet “search engine” called Google, and boldly clicked on the first result.
This led me to a Tweet with a URL in it. Bravely, I clicked on that URL and found myself looking at a video of a presentation at something called Monitorama PDX 2014 — clearly the code name for one of the Feminist Conspiracy’s conventions.
I looked it up in Google and discovered a web page for the event, which had been held in May. It was described as an “An Open Source Monitoring Conference & Hackathon.”
Ah, clearly a clever Feminist code name.
And then I decided to look up the name of the speaker: James Mickens. Turns out the guy works at Microsoft, one of the companies at the center of the Misandrist Conspiracy. Mickens is also the author of a number of papers, with titles like “Pivot: Fast, Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains” and “Mugshot: Deterministic Capture and Replay for JavaScript Applications.”
Obviously, some high level feminist theorizing.
Then I decided to watch the video. And I was shocked!
Because it wasn’t a speech about killing all men after all. It wasn’t even a feminist speech. No, it seemed instead to be a highly technical talk about internet security issues, illustrated with a lot of silly slides. Like this:
And this:
I must confess that I didn’t get the overwhelming majority of his jokes. But he audience seemed to find these slides, and much of what he said, hilarious. So if you ever need to hire a comedian who can joke about Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains, Mickens is your guy.
So where does the whole “kill all men” thing come from?
Well, I skipped ahead a bit in the video until I found a section in which Mickens talked about the dumb things people do that can undermine even the most sophisticated security setup.
His example: gullible, horny men who are tricked into “friending” hackers on Facebook posing as hot babes — even when there are pretty obvious indications that the hot babes aren’t really hot babes at all.
Things like: saying they graduated from Central University, even though there is no school by that name in the US, or spelling the name of their profession wrong.
These are all good clues, he said, that the hot babe you just friended on facebook was really this guy:
Given that men are regularly duped with simple tricks that play on their horniness and gullibility, Mickens joked, maybe the real goal for people trying to design secure systems should be the elimination of all men.
So that’s where the slide comes from.
And by the way, that whole bit of his killed — not as in “killed all men” but as in “got giant laughs from the mostly male audience.” Expecially the part about killing all men.
If you want to see the whole bit, starting with Mary and ending with “eliminate men as a gender,” it starts at around 20:40 in the video.
Men’s Rights Activists: more gullible than guys who friend Mary from Central University on Facebook.
NOTE TO EXTREMELY LITERAL-MINDED MRAS: That bit about the feminist plot to kill all men (except me) at the start of this post was a joke. Feminists don’t really intend to kill all men (except me).
Or do they?
“BUT THERE IS NO MISOGYNY IN GAMING.”
I never said that.
Ewwww! I’m all through with this creepy d00d.
“That hardly comports with your claim that Tfoots career is yelling at women on youtube”
Yelling and threatening are two very different things.
That’s weird, because you only seem to bring up the MRAs to say how you’re actually not trying to defend them because they are legit terrible.
HEY Y’ALL! Chockanga thinks it’s not okay to associate people who are connected with violent threats to other people who are connected to similar violent threats! I hope we can all take this important information and think deeply about our life choices!
I have no idea what you’re talking about here, but that’s not important because this next part is fucking priceless.
HEY Y’ALL! Mentioning Thunderf00t in a blog post once is exactly like murdering him! Now we all seriously and for reals need to repent our internety ways and see the light, in which everyone is washed clean in the blood of Thunderf00t every 30 seconds, and therefore can never be held accountable for anything they say, ever, Amen.
Christ. Not a fan of MRAs, so he’ll just not focus on them. Not a fan of thunderf00t and thinks he’s extremely petty, yet he won’t shut up about him.
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“HEY Y’ALL! Mentioning Thunderf00t in a blog post once is exactly like murdering him!”
Yes, that’s exactly what metaphor means.
“Christ. Not a fan of MRAs, so he’ll just not focus on them. Not a fan of thunderf00t and thinks he’s extremely petty, yet he won’t shut up about him.”
I may think he’s petty but I still don’t want to see him being associated with criminals.
Really? Lol, really?? You honestly think he doesn’t know the full extent? That he’s following Anita with such a close eye on all her stuff and doesn’t listen to her talk about the harassment? That’s not just benefit of the doubt, dude. That’s waaaay beyond benefit of the doubt.
It also didn’t answer my question.
Does being such a vocal supporter of GamerGate not contribute to the culture of harassment surrounding the movement? Especially when GamerGate has been (almost exclusively) associated with harassment and misogyny?
I mean, even if we give you the (frankly ludicrous) idea that he doesn’t know the full extent of the harassment, that doesn’t excuse him contributing to it. And actually, now that I think about it, doesn’t it make it worse if he’s being so vocal about a movement and doesn’t know anything about it? Because that’s been practically all the media coverage on it, about how horrible the harassment has been… That’s just negligent…
@kirbywarp +1. Yes. It’s something that’s shockingly ignored. It’s something added because people were like “Oh, obviously enough people are going to want to do this that we should add it to our game!” People don’t add fringe things to their games as easter eggs, they obviously believed that there was a large enough market for it. Easter eggs like the achievements “bonus” that Anita points out (for either hitman or other games like Red Dad Redemption) reinforce the idea that this is “just a little naughty”, instead of appalling and horrific.
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Nope, still don’t care. In fact is there a way the mods can just remove any comments where boring dude mentions Thunderfoot? Because it’s pretty off topic, and I think several hours of derail is more than enough.
Another assignment graded and entered! And back into the fray for a few brief moments, then I must swoop back off to attempt and grade another assignment. NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF HOMEWORK!
Anyway, troll boy is still here?
Dude? Didn’t you say you had other stuff to do a couple hours ago?
Seriously! Your flounce score might have just beaten the all time record low for failures to stick.
The point is that since I defend someone you think I’m necessarily on their side. This isn’t true. Voltaire said once “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it”. I can paraphrase this maxim. I live by “I dislike your opinions, but I’ll defend your right not be associated with criminals”.
I’ve dropped David a line about this one. Not only does he smell of sock, but he’s terminally boring.
Oh. Chock full of boring is still here?
This might be a good time for a TMI kind of question. When I’m out in the cold (not even that cold, about 50 f°), my nipples get really sore. Does that happen to anyone else? Does anyone know why that would be?
You are so stupid. If Thunderf00t were actually an innocent bystander, he would have never mentioned Sarkeeeeeeeesian at all, and he certainly wouldn’t be hammering away at her like an obsessed stalker every couple of days. He would just be some youtuber who, I dunno, talks about creationists or some shit.
But Thunderf00t is not an innocent bystander. He is like those pro-lifers who say every day how terrible this one abortion doctor is and how he is a murderer and how God hates this doctor and how the doctor is going to hell, and goes on and on and on about this one doctor over and over, and then acts surprised when someone goes and bombs that doctor’s clinic.
If nipples stay hard for too long that can get uncomfortable? That’s all I’ve got. If it’s that a more padded bra might help.
@ WWTH – TMI reply – it used to happen when I was lactating! It kind of felt like letdown reflex to me, so I just assumed the cold had made the nips pucker and they over did it.
“He is like those pro-lifers who say every day how terrible this one abortion doctor is and how he is a murderer and how God hates this doctor and how the doctor is going to hell, and goes on and on and on about this one doctor over and over, and then acts surprised when someone goes and bombs that doctor’s clinic.”
If this is what you really believe, there’s no purpose in carrying on this conversation.
Yes, I live in reality, thank you for inquiring.
We all agree that there’s no point having a conversation with you, dude. In fact I told you so hours ago. Begone.
Not only has the conclusion been reached before in the exact same way, but it has been true since the beginning without the need for the predicate.
A filter, now that would be fun … but David would have to do it, I don’t think it comes at editor level access.
Re: nipple pain during cold and breastfeeding (because I know all the things! about nipples)
http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=doc-V-RP
This is a pretty common thing.
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