So I was idly perusing Janet “JudgyBitch” Bloomfield’s Twitter yesterday, and I came across an alarming tweet. It seemed as though Bloomfield had somehow penetrated the 47 levels of security protecting the Feminist HIgh Council to discover incontrovertible evidence of Operation Wicked Succubus. You know, the feminist plan to eliminate all men (except for me).
https://twitter.com/BloomfieldJanet/status/523458962704699393
Her followers were aghast:
And naturally one of them brought up #GamerGate.
There were a few others, but you get the idea.
It never occurred to any of them to, you know, try to find out just who the bald man advocating killing all men was. Or who exactly he was talking to.
So I decided to do some serious investigative journalism to see what I could uncover. I typed out “‘eliminate men as a gender’ security” into a little known internet “search engine” called Google, and boldly clicked on the first result.
This led me to a Tweet with a URL in it. Bravely, I clicked on that URL and found myself looking at a video of a presentation at something called Monitorama PDX 2014 — clearly the code name for one of the Feminist Conspiracy’s conventions.
I looked it up in Google and discovered a web page for the event, which had been held in May. It was described as an “An Open Source Monitoring Conference & Hackathon.”
Ah, clearly a clever Feminist code name.
And then I decided to look up the name of the speaker: James Mickens. Turns out the guy works at Microsoft, one of the companies at the center of the Misandrist Conspiracy. Mickens is also the author of a number of papers, with titles like “Pivot: Fast, Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains” and “Mugshot: Deterministic Capture and Replay for JavaScript Applications.”
Obviously, some high level feminist theorizing.
Then I decided to watch the video. And I was shocked!
Because it wasn’t a speech about killing all men after all. It wasn’t even a feminist speech. No, it seemed instead to be a highly technical talk about internet security issues, illustrated with a lot of silly slides. Like this:
And this:
I must confess that I didn’t get the overwhelming majority of his jokes. But he audience seemed to find these slides, and much of what he said, hilarious. So if you ever need to hire a comedian who can joke about Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains, Mickens is your guy.
So where does the whole “kill all men” thing come from?
Well, I skipped ahead a bit in the video until I found a section in which Mickens talked about the dumb things people do that can undermine even the most sophisticated security setup.
His example: gullible, horny men who are tricked into “friending” hackers on Facebook posing as hot babes — even when there are pretty obvious indications that the hot babes aren’t really hot babes at all.
Things like: saying they graduated from Central University, even though there is no school by that name in the US, or spelling the name of their profession wrong.
These are all good clues, he said, that the hot babe you just friended on facebook was really this guy:
Given that men are regularly duped with simple tricks that play on their horniness and gullibility, Mickens joked, maybe the real goal for people trying to design secure systems should be the elimination of all men.
So that’s where the slide comes from.
And by the way, that whole bit of his killed — not as in “killed all men” but as in “got giant laughs from the mostly male audience.” Expecially the part about killing all men.
If you want to see the whole bit, starting with Mary and ending with “eliminate men as a gender,” it starts at around 20:40 in the video.
Men’s Rights Activists: more gullible than guys who friend Mary from Central University on Facebook.
NOTE TO EXTREMELY LITERAL-MINDED MRAS: That bit about the feminist plot to kill all men (except me) at the start of this post was a joke. Feminists don’t really intend to kill all men (except me).
Or do they?
No, because that’s what you want, and there’s no reason why we have to give it to you. Bye, dude.
(swooping in post between questions at work)
WORD FOR WORD SEA LION! KATZ, IT’S YOUR SEA LION!
(poofs off)
I would suggest painting him lilac to match the one on the right but that would mean having to touch him and ew.
I am deeply shocked to hear that we have failed to live up to yet another trolls unreaalistic expectations. Trooooly Deeeeply.
“Troll, you English too good for any of us to buy that one”
I’m flattered, but I’m actually Swiss.
“You have stated no clear thesis”
I have. I think it’s always wrong to associate people with criminals on the basis of a common ideology and some linguistic similarities. It’s wrong even when we do it to people we despise, like (in my case) MRAs. But since MRAs are despicable, I prefer giving my sympathy to Thunderfoot, who as far as I know isn’t as unethical as they are.
If he claims to be on the autism spectrum next, I think we should give him the boot.
I have zero patience for anyone who claims to want a “discussion” but won’t (or can’t, because: too stupid) state the thesis that they are arguing.
You’re entitled to nothing here, Chockanga, and the fact that you think you are shows that you are part of the problem.
“but won’t (or can’t, because: too stupid) state the thesis that they are arguing.”
I have stated my thesis. Read it, it’s two comments above yours.
“You’re entitled to nothing here, Chockanga, and the fact that you think you are shows that you are part of the problem.”
if you want to ban me, ban me.
I think he should get the boot for rank tedium.
I think we need a repost of this…
http://static.squarespace.com/static/52bd65a0e4b0aee2c11d35b4/t/54299060e4b00c45441d5b8f/1412010081345/
(poofs off again)
The only choices available in terms of who to sympathize with are MRAs and Thunderfoot, you guys, and you have to pick one. Neither is not an option. It are a known fact.
Can the mods not just make tedious dude vanish in a puff of smoke? You know blog herpes never clears up by itself.
no, where you’re coming from and what you believe in is important, since it frames your particular arguments and bete noires. context matters.
“I’ll tell what I believe in: equality of rights and responsibilities for everyone.”
this means literally nothing; what rights? how? how are they enforced? what happen when rights conflict? what responsibilities? who has responsibility for who? how do rights and responsibilities interact?
basically this is as much a meaningless, mealy-mouthed statement as you saying you believe in “ethics in journalism”, which could mean anything from “i have an issue with the shadow of mordor payola scandal” to “i do not like feminist critics talking about video games”, as we have seen.
also, here’s a good criticism of why thunderf00t’s hitman example that “proves” sarkeesian is a liar is wildly off-base:
http://pettie.us/excuse-dismantle-thunderf00ts-anti-sarkeesian-video-screenshot/
(image link was SEA LIONS, originally posted by Katz, but SO APPLICABLE to this one)
Poor little troll. It makes him so sad that nobody wants to engage in yet another boring argument with a troll who pretends to be neutral but just happens to think we’re wrong about everything.
“The only choices available in terms of who to sympathize with are MRAs and Thunderfoot, you guys, and you have to pick one. Neither is not an option. It are a known fact.”
Not at all. In this precise instance, however, both are involved in David’s post which I think is unethical.
@contrapangloss:
So very applicable, and I haven’t seen it! Thanks! Really hammers home that “polite” doesn’t just refer to your word choice.
@freshlysqueezedcynic:
Also, “equal rights and equal responsibilities” is a big MRA talking point. They complain that modern society gives women equal rights, but none of the responsibilities like the draft. It’s the less violent form of “equal rights mean equal lefts.” So even the meaningless statement defines a side.
Still don’t care, dude.
Um, 17?
Oops, did I just associate our resident troll with a violent group through language? My bad.
http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/25200000/patrick-spongebob-patrick-star-spongebob-25237008-480-410.jpg
“They complain that modern society gives women equal rights, but none of the responsibilities like the draft.”
I personally think that the draft should be abolished. Responsibilities, as far as I’m concerned, do not include being forced to fight in a war just because your government want you to serve.
“So even the meaningless statement defines a side.”
If you really want to think I’m a MRA, even after I wrote extensively about how much I dislike them, you’re showing your own assumptions, not any particular insight.
The draft is abolished in the U.S, dipshit.
“The draft is abolished in the U.S, dipshit”
Not in Switzerland though, Mrs. Etiquette.
That’s Ms. Ettiquette to you, troll.
“That’s Ms. Ettiquette to you, troll.”
My bad.
What’s your morning height, as opposed to your evening height?