So I was idly perusing Janet “JudgyBitch” Bloomfield’s Twitter yesterday, and I came across an alarming tweet. It seemed as though Bloomfield had somehow penetrated the 47 levels of security protecting the Feminist HIgh Council to discover incontrovertible evidence of Operation Wicked Succubus. You know, the feminist plan to eliminate all men (except for me).
https://twitter.com/BloomfieldJanet/status/523458962704699393
Her followers were aghast:
And naturally one of them brought up #GamerGate.
There were a few others, but you get the idea.
It never occurred to any of them to, you know, try to find out just who the bald man advocating killing all men was. Or who exactly he was talking to.
So I decided to do some serious investigative journalism to see what I could uncover. I typed out “‘eliminate men as a gender’ security” into a little known internet “search engine” called Google, and boldly clicked on the first result.
This led me to a Tweet with a URL in it. Bravely, I clicked on that URL and found myself looking at a video of a presentation at something called Monitorama PDX 2014 — clearly the code name for one of the Feminist Conspiracy’s conventions.
I looked it up in Google and discovered a web page for the event, which had been held in May. It was described as an “An Open Source Monitoring Conference & Hackathon.”
Ah, clearly a clever Feminist code name.
And then I decided to look up the name of the speaker: James Mickens. Turns out the guy works at Microsoft, one of the companies at the center of the Misandrist Conspiracy. Mickens is also the author of a number of papers, with titles like “Pivot: Fast, Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains” and “Mugshot: Deterministic Capture and Replay for JavaScript Applications.”
Obviously, some high level feminist theorizing.
Then I decided to watch the video. And I was shocked!
Because it wasn’t a speech about killing all men after all. It wasn’t even a feminist speech. No, it seemed instead to be a highly technical talk about internet security issues, illustrated with a lot of silly slides. Like this:
And this:
I must confess that I didn’t get the overwhelming majority of his jokes. But he audience seemed to find these slides, and much of what he said, hilarious. So if you ever need to hire a comedian who can joke about Synchronous Mashup Isolation Using Generator Chains, Mickens is your guy.
So where does the whole “kill all men” thing come from?
Well, I skipped ahead a bit in the video until I found a section in which Mickens talked about the dumb things people do that can undermine even the most sophisticated security setup.
His example: gullible, horny men who are tricked into “friending” hackers on Facebook posing as hot babes — even when there are pretty obvious indications that the hot babes aren’t really hot babes at all.
Things like: saying they graduated from Central University, even though there is no school by that name in the US, or spelling the name of their profession wrong.
These are all good clues, he said, that the hot babe you just friended on facebook was really this guy:
Given that men are regularly duped with simple tricks that play on their horniness and gullibility, Mickens joked, maybe the real goal for people trying to design secure systems should be the elimination of all men.
So that’s where the slide comes from.
And by the way, that whole bit of his killed — not as in “killed all men” but as in “got giant laughs from the mostly male audience.” Expecially the part about killing all men.
If you want to see the whole bit, starting with Mary and ending with “eliminate men as a gender,” it starts at around 20:40 in the video.
Men’s Rights Activists: more gullible than guys who friend Mary from Central University on Facebook.
NOTE TO EXTREMELY LITERAL-MINDED MRAS: That bit about the feminist plot to kill all men (except me) at the start of this post was a joke. Feminists don’t really intend to kill all men (except me).
Or do they?
1
“Dunno, troll is too boring to read any more of his crap.”
There’s a fable about grapes and a fox. Look it up. Its moral might help you.
In other less boring news – a hoodie sweater with a bands of snowflakes across the chest, hem, and wrists as a gift for Mr C. Yes or no? Dudes who are not the troll feel free to chime in.
2
Hey! The troll is about to tell us all about the story that David just used as an illustration for a blog post, like, all of within the week! Grab your short attention spans and pay attention!
Troll! Please do tell us all about this fox and these grapes.
I’m all ears!
Just like this fox:
http://www.antalik.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Fennec-foxes-14.jpg
@Chockanga:
Alright, let’s say that speaker doesn’t consider themselves part of the KKK. There’s more than one white nationalist group out there.
Why, yes, I would like a fennec.
Lol, this legit made me laugh given how recently it was referenced here.
@kirbywarp, yea, no, I think I have a pretty decent understanding of this troll: Troll doesn’t know what they’re talking about, and can’t keep firm on where their actual goalposts are. So pretty much short of going back to their very first post there’s no point in discussion about stuff, because it’s not like they’re saying anything close to what they were back then…
That fennec. So much ears. O_O
3
gamergate is an important consumer organisation, until it’a just a hashtag, until it’s an important consumer organisation
everything old is new again
all that is solid melts into air
4
Awww, fox! So cute!
Does Mr C have many hoodies and/or will he like this gift cassandra?
we’re all individuals, there’s no side, but we’re working together and will not be defeated, and how dare you make fun of someone on my side, even though there is no side.
“Alright, let’s say that speaker doesn’t consider themselves part of the KKK. There’s more than one white nationalist group out there.”
Then for that specific crime it’s unethical to associate him with the guilty party.
“Troll! Please do tell us all about this fox and these grapes”
My comment was obviously sarcastic. I know that all of you, being educated people, know about that story. I suppose that you’re attempting to be sarcastic, too. I’m not sure if you’re succeeding, but who am I to judge someone else’s sense of humor.
The little fox is cute, I’ll give you that.
“Lol, this legit made me laugh given how recently it was referenced here.”
Someone might even say I did on purpose. I won’t.
how dare you associate me with the person i am defending, i have criticisms of him, which are minor and vague in comparison to the vague, major claims against people i dislike
also satire, everything is satire
5
The moral of the fable is that you shouldn’t give a fox grapes because grapes are poisonous to many carnivores.
@SittieKitty:
Yeesh. If we went back to the first post, we’d have to talk all about how we’re such bad people for not being willing to recognize when our leaders (specifically PZ Meyers, David Futrelle, and Anita Sarkesian for some reason) are corrupt.
Speaking of leaders, I read this recently. It pretty much reiterated what I’ve been sensing for a while now; that there is a common thread to find among people like the gamergaters, MRAs, conservatives, and others.
One, interestingly enough, is the compulsion with heroes; either protecting your own, or naming heroes of your opponents so you can attack them and pretend the attack on the person discredits the whole side. Pretty good timing considering our current resident troll.
@ Sittykitty
Mr C has lots of hoodies but most of them are more casual, I feel like maybe he needs one that’s a proper sweater. Also it’s grey and he likes grey.
Trolls are so weird, it can be obvious that nobody gives a shit what they’re saying and they’ll just keep talking.
@Chockanga:
I think that position is absurd.
6
“how dare you associate me with the person i am defending, i have criticisms of him, which are minor and vague in comparison to the vague, major claims against people i dislike”
It’s not my fault if you reason in Manichean terms.
“also satire, everything is satire”
When something is deliberately exaggerated for humorous reasons, it’s easy to see it’s satire.
My vocabulary word, I loves it. I want to hug it and kiss it and call it George.
So is this hoodie a knitted one, like a cardie but with a hood? That sounds classy.
6
When my friend sent me this link I ordered it so fast that my keyboard nearly caught on fire.
http://www.lookhuman.com/design/54211?
Damn!
1
“I think that position is absurd.”
Then we’ll agree to disagree. But the fallacy of guilt by association is always valid, even when we’re talking about opinions which we find personally abhorrent.