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#gamergate confused cats against feminism cuteness douchebaggery drama kings dramatic reading entitled babies evil SJWs gamebros kitties mansplaining men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny post contains jokes victim blaming video games YouTube

This cat reading a #GamerGate manifesto may be the best thing you see all day. (Possibly.)

So yesterday I discovered a #GamerGate manifesto that started with these dramatic pronouncements:

We are Gamers.

We are alive.

And that was just the opener.

By the time the manifesto manifestoed itself all the way to the end, the anonymous author had warned us that games were a poor beleaguered “art form” that needed to “be protected from the dogmatic rhetoric of a clique of totalitarian ideologues,” angrily “denounce[d] the mercantilization of debased social justice,” and taken a few swipes at “careerist writers who sacrifice social harmony, human ethics and intellectual honesty on the altar of Controversy.”

The manifesto-writer declared that the aforementioned gamers who are alive collectively “reject the Industry of Outrage and it’s [sic] guilt-based economic model … reject the ideological megaphones who perpetually parrot their prejudiced hate,” and get a bit peeved when their gender, race, sexual orientation and so forth are “traded on the mediatic market, in return for ideological brownie points.”  Mediatic market?

This all seems like a really long-winded way of saying that #GamerGaters really hate it when anyone in the gaming media says anything mean about them.

But at least one of the readers of this manifesto was excited enough by it to pay this dude, who reads stuff out loud for money on YouTube, something like $350 to turn the manifesto into this video:

Well, let’s just say that my cats — fervently if a little confusedly opposed to feminism in all forms — were a bit more impressed by the manifesto, and this video, than I was. And they insisted on making one of their own. I promised I would upload it to the internet for them, so you can scroll up to the start of this post to watch it.

Sweetie Pie Jonus, the grey tabby, wandered off the script here and there, but as much as I hate the message of the manifesto I think she did a pretty good job overall. And she didn’t bite anyone in the process.

Here’s the whole manifesto, if you prefer that old-fashioned “reading” thing:

gamermanifesto

 

 

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ryeash
10 years ago

@cloudiah

“Why” at the Brianna Wu actually trying to communicate in human with those stains. That preamble was brilliant.

kobun37
kobun37
10 years ago

I didn’t watch the video, but when I read the “We are alive” part I couldn’t help but hear the rest of it GLaDOS’s voice. That just made it even more ridiculous.

For non-gamers, GLaDOS is a computer and the antagonist in the game Portal.

tinyorc
10 years ago

It’s all so ridiculous.

On the Brianna Wu front, this move seems ill-advised:

https://twitter.com/Spacekatgal/status/521349952073920512

@Nero is Milo Yiannopoulos, Breitbart’s rape apologist and all-around asshat.

When GamerGate happily welcomed support from Milo fucking Yiannopoulos, that’s when I knew with absolutely certainty that their “movement” is no more about journalistic integrity than Skyrim is about peacefully resolving a civil war. The man is a professional misogynist and shit stirrer, in addition to being the walking definition of a corrupt journalist himself.

Yiannopoulos, by his own admission, had literally zero interest in gaming before the whole #GamerGate shit-storm because he a
a) Literally cannot resist going after feminists, the context is irrelevant.
and
b) It’s generating clicks for Breibart. (Seriously, the URL for his original GamerGate article reads “Lying-Greedy-Promiscuous-Feminist-Bullies-are-Tearing-the-Video-Game-Industry-Apart” – if that’s not clickbait, I don’t what is.)

So by #GamerGate’s own definition, Yiannopoulos represents everything they stand against. A corrupt and obviously biased journalist who has inserted himself into the debate not because he cares about videogames, but for attention and exposure.

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE YOU HAZ IT.

HJ
HJ
10 years ago

Nice Meow Mix 😉

tinyorc
10 years ago

I seemed to have left out have a sentence in that rant. Should read: “Yiannopoulos, by his own admission, had literally zero interest in gaming before the whole #GamerGate shit-storm. He got involved because he:”

Bina
10 years ago

Just reread the thing for shits ‘n’ giggles. Not only do they not know what the big words mean, they also don’t know how to use a semicolon. (It is NOT interchangeable with commas near the end of a big long windy sentence, even if you are tempted to think it is.)

Yeah, d00ders, good luck getting anyone outside your little echo chamber of temper tantrums to take YOU seriously.

http://hoydenabouttown.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/inigo-montoya_that-word.jpg

Bina
10 years ago

Breibart

I’m just immature enough to snicker at this Freudian slip of spelling…it means “porridge beard” in German.

lacerta viridis
lacerta viridis
10 years ago

@kobun37 Holy shit, that’s amazing. I’m going to read all future GamerGate whining in Glados’s best sarcastic/passive-aggressive voice.

“We reject harrassment, threats, abuse” oh my god I can’t read any further. The lack of self-awareness is astonishing.I mean, the whole thing is basically one big over-dramatic WAAHH I AM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN WE ARE NOT ABOUT ME hissyfit, but that bit was just amazing.

tinyorc
10 years ago
Reply to  Bina

@Bina, AMAZING.

Hyatt
Hyatt
10 years ago

@Nero’s biggest “victory” for GG, posting an email conversation between journalists that mentioned how some felt the industry was getting incestuous between journalists and developers, contained personal contact information of participants. So he’s incompetent at best or a malicious doxxer at worst. But that’s been forgotten by his supporters.

cloudiah
10 years ago

Porridge Beards should be our new epithet for #Gators. XD

Oh also, look at who internet trolls think should be on the list of worst people in history:
http://www.ranker.com/crowdranked-list/the-all-time-worst-people-in-history

Christopher Poole/moot is the 4chan admin who decided to kick the worst of the open doxxing/harassment campaigns off of 4chan, which is why now these trolls (or Porridge Beards) have decided he is literally worse than Hitler.

Bina
10 years ago

I think “Porridge Beard” has quite a nice ring to it, don’t you? So evocative of the drool-‘n’-grunt demographic that reads right-wing gibberish and thinks it’s some new and particularly brilliant mode of analysis.

Bina
10 years ago

Christopher Poole/moot is the 4chan admin who decided to kick the worst of the open doxxing/harassment campaigns off of 4chan, which is why now these trolls (or Porridge Beards) have decided he is literally worse than Hitler.

Ah yes. Because common decency and a respect for a woman’s right to privacy are somehow worse than the gassing/cremation genocide of six million Jews, fer fucksakes.

kiki
kiki
10 years ago

I like “prey on the gullibles”. “They preys on the gullibles, my precious, yes they does…”

Or maybe they’re seagullibles.

Zolnier
Zolnier
10 years ago

Wait, there are people you can pay to read stuff on YouTube? And they charge hundreds?

bekabot
bekabot
10 years ago

While I think of it and before I forget: declaring something to be a form of art can be an innocent move, but it isn’t always. Declaring something to be a form of art can be a way to insinuate that women have no right to mess with it and keep it out of female hands. Traditionally “art” has been a male prerogative, with “decoration” and “crafts” and even sometimes “design” tagging along after it as lowly female servitors. Women get to be muses and copyists (etc.), but the prevailing opinion has always been* that women can’t create art. (Women have babies instead. This is a strain of belief with a lot of staying-power, which has by no means wound to its close.)

Women who have decided to make “art,” serious “art,” “Man Art,” and to try to get good at it, have often paid dearly for their determination, even when they were successful. Camille Claudel, a pupil of Rodin’s and one of the great sculptors of the late 19th century, was confined (by her family) to an asylum for at least half her life, on the grounds that she was suffering from delusions of persecution. When one follows stories like these one wonders how many of her delusions were actually…delusionary.

(There’s a lot more to the Camille Claudel story which I haven’t included because it’s not germane to my point but I think the relevant parts are still relevant and anyone who wants to use the other parts of the Camille Claudel story to refute my point is welcome to do so.)

*at least since Greece at least and possibly before

Ellesar
10 years ago

My 15yo son is a dedicated gamer, as has taken it on somewhat as an identity, but is blissfully unaware of ‘gamergate’ and its associated nonsense. He just gets on with the gaming! Wouldn’t it be great if these people would just keep calm and carry on gaming? – as that IS ALL it takes to be a gamer!

2big2fail
2big2fail
10 years ago

[img]http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/55238876.jpg[/img]

katz
10 years ago

Christopher Poole/moot is the 4chan admin who decided to kick the worst of the open doxxing/harassment campaigns off of 4chan, which is why now these trolls (or Porridge Beards) have decided he is literally worse than Hitler.

Fair play to moot. He has a streak of decency after all.

2big2fail
2big2fail
10 years ago
2big2fail
2big2fail
10 years ago

[embed]http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/55238876.jpg[/embed]

Orion
Orion
10 years ago

Unrelated:

I just noticed “eating manboobz” on the blog roll, next to my beloved voice for pierre and artistry for kittens. There were some cool recipes. However, that blog hasn’t updated in 11 months, it’s name is based on the old name of this blog, and indeed this site is still listed as “manboobz” in the blog roll over there. I was curious whether anyone would be upset if David dropped it from his blog roll, since I believe he is trying to get away from the “manboobz” name. Obviously it’s his call but I wasn’t sure if it was on his radar.

Sarah
Sarah
10 years ago

Lotsa four-syllable words and still can’t use “its” and “it’s” correctly (not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just funny when they try to look all scholarly using fancy words.)

ryeash
10 years ago

Arguing with a couple of these sad little morons. Apparently, someone posting a screenshot of a harassing email is “doxxing and harassing”. I had to stop just short of asking how far up his ass he was able to wedge his head.

Sarah
Sarah
10 years ago

Or make sense using such fancy words, for that matter. Let alone say stuff that’s not hateful, malicious and self-centered.