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#gamergate confused cats against feminism cuteness douchebaggery drama kings dramatic reading entitled babies evil SJWs gamebros kitties mansplaining men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny post contains jokes victim blaming video games YouTube

This cat reading a #GamerGate manifesto may be the best thing you see all day. (Possibly.)

So yesterday I discovered a #GamerGate manifesto that started with these dramatic pronouncements:

We are Gamers.

We are alive.

And that was just the opener.

By the time the manifesto manifestoed itself all the way to the end, the anonymous author had warned us that games were a poor beleaguered “art form” that needed to “be protected from the dogmatic rhetoric of a clique of totalitarian ideologues,” angrily “denounce[d] the mercantilization of debased social justice,” and taken a few swipes at “careerist writers who sacrifice social harmony, human ethics and intellectual honesty on the altar of Controversy.”

The manifesto-writer declared that the aforementioned gamers who are alive collectively “reject the Industry of Outrage and it’s [sic] guilt-based economic model … reject the ideological megaphones who perpetually parrot their prejudiced hate,” and get a bit peeved when their gender, race, sexual orientation and so forth are “traded on the mediatic market, in return for ideological brownie points.”  Mediatic market?

This all seems like a really long-winded way of saying that #GamerGaters really hate it when anyone in the gaming media says anything mean about them.

But at least one of the readers of this manifesto was excited enough by it to pay this dude, who reads stuff out loud for money on YouTube, something like $350 to turn the manifesto into this video:

Well, let’s just say that my cats — fervently if a little confusedly opposed to feminism in all forms — were a bit more impressed by the manifesto, and this video, than I was. And they insisted on making one of their own. I promised I would upload it to the internet for them, so you can scroll up to the start of this post to watch it.

Sweetie Pie Jonus, the grey tabby, wandered off the script here and there, but as much as I hate the message of the manifesto I think she did a pretty good job overall. And she didn’t bite anyone in the process.

Here’s the whole manifesto, if you prefer that old-fashioned “reading” thing:

gamermanifesto

 

 

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Misha
Misha
7 years ago

Why isn’t Pantz reading anything? What are you plotting…

Fred_the_Dog
7 years ago

I have been confronted by way too much wtf lately.

magnesium
7 years ago

Gamergate has an official prayer, now? How… creepy.

Ooooh, I can help translate some of this!

“we are gamers”
this is a secret club for men and we’ll decide who’s allowed in to the clique.

“we are alive”
we thought that ‘gamers are dead’ was mean literally, because we aren’t very bright.

“we believe that games are an art form that should be allowed to flourish naturally…”
no one is allowed to have an opinion about a game that I don’t approve of. Talking about art ruins art. MAINTAIN THE STATUS QUO AT ALL COSTS.

“we believe that the fifth estate…”
To reiterate, journalists are NOT ALLOWED to have dissenting opinions. Those who do, will be punished.

The rest is some overly florid speech that just repeats those last two points over and over again.

“we are gamers”
repetitive chants breed obedience
“we are alive”
we still don’t understand that “dead” wasn’t mean literally. In the name of the PC, and the Xbox, and the Playstation. AMEN.

jojo
jojo
7 years ago

I will always be amazed at the way nerds manage to use completely wrong big words

LittleMissSparkie
LittleMissSparkie
7 years ago

Fuck, reading that contrived bullshit was depressing. What a bunch of sexist dicks! “Trivializing gender,” so to speak! I’ve spent much of my whole life speaking out against precisely this type of cisheteronormative assholery and yet it never goes away. Never! It always pops up again in another form. Without fail! It’s like humanity is perpetually cursed, or something.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother? It would be easier to swallow a whole bottle of sleeping meds and just curl up under a rock, or something, waiting peacefully for the end to arrive.

ryeash
7 years ago

“We believe misogyny exists” is about where even the kitties couldn’t keep me watching. BULLSHIT. Listening to them turn that word on its head for their own benefit made me want to punch my screen, kitties and all (no offense to David’s adorable kitties, and I would obviously never punch a kitty…or a screen for that matter, electronics are expensive). Not that they haven’t proved themselves lower before, but this for some reason got a big reaction out of me when things like seeing death and rape threats didn’t do much beyond trigger my gag reflex. Maybe the difference is just honesty. “We believe misogyny exists” juxtaposes pretty harshly with “[insert gendered slur/threat here because they’re so vile I would hate myself even for typing out a censored version] No such thing as misogyny!”.

Be yourselves, GamerGaters. Stick to your true values. You’re terrible at faking even a shred of humanity.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

“Mercantilization of debased social justice”? Sounds like another way of saying “Jiggly boobies and bang-bang guns sell games to zit-faced chronic masturbators”.

Oh wait, that’s not what they MEANT to say, is it?

strivingally
7 years ago

Oh boy. I think this mendacious piece of bullshit, with its pseudo-intellectual dishonesty and its dozens of dog-whistles to the privileged, might be what finally prompts me to cobble together a ranty ten-page blog post.

This is fucked. This right here? Is a bunch of assholes standing in a house BUILT by the fuckers threatening female devs with death/rape, trying to say “Oh, they’re not with us – would you like to read our brochure?”

You can’t whitewash a movement dedicated to attack with no higher purpose. And no matter how they dress it up, GG is simply an attack brigade – this is the story they tell themselves so they can believe they’re the “good guys”.

As a gamer, I’m ashamed that these people are falling for this crap, and that they’re so easy to manipulate.

Pocket Nerd
7 years ago

So here’s a thing: Last night, for the first time ever, I tweeted my opinion that #gamergate is about misogyny. I’d never tweeted about the topic before, and I’m pretty much a nobody on Twitter; at the time, I’d sent maybe three tweets in the past year.

Within minutes I’d received replies and PMs calling me a “shill,” an “SJW,” and a “mangina.”

Within a few hours I’d received threats of violence and rape.

This morning I found waiting for me a direct message warning me that “femcunt toadies” would be hung just like Nazi war criminals.

But you know what’s interesting? In two dozen or more angry responses to little ol’ me, not a single person simply said “No, you’re wrong. This isn’t about misogyny and we don’t support misogynists.”

Very telling, isn’t it?

taitaisanchez
7 years ago

Doesn’t the bit about “social harmony” just smack of, “we like the status quo?”

Also how can you be against misogyny but for the status quo?

strivingally
7 years ago

I must be boring compared to you, PN, or have insufficient followers to ping their radar – other than the three or four jerks whenever I use the hashtag (and it’s always two or three being abusive and one being “reasonable” – almost like it’s planned that way…) I hardly get anything on GG except the token condescending attempt to smear any prominent women in tech I mention by name.

It’s almost as though these guys care more about the public image of these women than discussing the issues they supposedly hold so dear. Funny that.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

WTF. “Fifth Estate”? The media is the so-called Fourth Estate, and GGers claim this is about journalistic integrity!

The so-called “Fifth Estate” = bloggers, which is the stupidest thing in the world to dub an “estate.” It is a term that someone posited and some people use it, people who don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground, but since GGers meet that criterion I’ll concede that this manifesto might have used this term correctly. Might have.

So this means that this idiot is either too dumb to know that journalism = the Fourth (not Fifth) Estate, or the manifesto is calling for blogs to be “transparent” and court the “trust of the public.” This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard yet today, and any additional stupidity that shows up before bedtime is going to have a long row to hoe to top this.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

But you know what’s interesting? In two dozen or more angry responses to little ol’ me, not a single person simply said “No, you’re wrong. This isn’t about misogyny and we don’t support misogynists.”

Very telling, isn’t it?

Is it EVER.

And yeah, how about that “social harmony”? Funny how it’s based on the unspoken notion that they don’t “hate” women, as long as “women know their place and stay in it”. Well, guess what? That, by definition, IS woman-hating. Because if you actually LIKE women, you don’t assign them a “place” or expect them to stay in it. You trust them to make themselves at home wherever they want to be, and welcome them if they happen to be where you are, right?

strivingally
7 years ago

This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard yet today, and any additional stupidity that shows up before bedtime is going to have a long row to hoe to top this.

PoM: challenge accepted. Did you see my post in the other thread about how GGers are claiming Zoe Quinn’s going to launch a “false flag” attack and re-name gaming at PAX?

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
7 years ago

But you know what’s interesting? In two dozen or more angry responses to little ol’ me, not a single person simply said “No, you’re wrong. This isn’t about misogyny and we don’t support misogynists.”

Very telling, isn’t it?

Yes, yes it is.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

PoM: challenge accepted. Did you see my post in the other thread about how GGers are claiming Zoe Quinn’s going to launch a “false flag” attack and re-name gaming at PAX?

Nope. Which thread is it? I just woke up and haven’t had time to catch up yet.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

Pocket Nerd ,
I’m sorry. That’s terrifying.

Hopefully, the more people amplify solidarity with feminists the harder it will be for these misogynists to terrorize women. They can’t spend their days sending threats to all of us. They cannot force us all out of our homes or off of the internet.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

I’m off to fetch my GamerGoop Bingo Card. I suspect we’ll be seeing plenty of “Yabbut” trolls here today.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

(And yes, online misodge bingo IS a real game, so nyaaaah!)

strivingally
7 years ago

Here you go, PoM. And I’m sorry. 😉

lkeke35
7 years ago

I barely made it past the “social harmony ” statement.
At any rate, I voiced this in my head, as Zod’s opening speech from Man of Steel, only with less sense.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

@strivingally

You know what that looks like? That looks like someone is planning to attack ZQ and is planting this information ahead of time so that when she does show up somewhere with bruises and cuts she won’t be believed.

So, evil, not stupid.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

That manifesto. Wow.
…and they call women “Drams Queens”.
Such a self awareness fail.
Somebody should tell that guy that using a thesaurus to embiggen a ridiculous rant doesn’t make it sound smart and reasonable. What a big, pouty, bigoted shitlord he’s being.

Gamergaters so want us to believe that they are valiant heroes standing up to oppression by sending women anonymous rape and death threats.

How clueless do you have to be to think that could possibly make sense?

strivingally
7 years ago

I considered that, PoM, but both the dramatic manner in which the revelation is supposedly going to be made (at PAX, which carries a lot of weight for gamers, but not so much for feminists, who are already not real impressed with the PA guys) and specificity with which the assholes think they can predict what’s going to happen, down to a particular word being proposed, make me think it’s more in the realm of “gamergater fantasy” than “discrediting in advance of actual violence” – like how Elam and co. keep concocting scenarios in which they’d be “justified” in hurting women. This one includes both harm to a woman and the thought policing feminist game critics are supposedly interested in enforcing, so it’s both fantasy and rationalisation.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
7 years ago

@strivingally

Yes, but let’s pretend that it doesn’t happen at PAX. Let’s pretend it happens a month from now when ZQ is just out and about somewhere.

The story will become, “It didn’t happen at PAX because we alerted everyone and nobody would have believed her! But obviously she didn’t give up her plan, and look, we told you so! We told you she was going to assault herself and blame innocent white men!”

Pretty much at any point in the future, if ZQ is assaulted, it will be seen as confirmation that the “conspiracy theory” was totes true. And we know that some folks know where she lives and have issued direct and credible threats.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Wow, their paranoia is practically self-ridiculing at this point. Why the fuck would Zoe dox herself? Even as a false flag, that makes no sense, because then people who really want to hurt her get her real data.

These guys are both evil AND idiots. (Hey, there’s no law that says you can’t be both!)

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

Policy of madness,
Meanwhile with all of these rape and death threats being hurled at feminists online, if one of them does decide to act on his fucked up fantasies, the rest of them have provided him with excellent cover.

I wish I believed the Gamergaters we not aware of the very real danger they are putting women in. I think most of them do though. That’s part of the thrill for these guys. It’s a safe (for them) outlet for their violent misogynist fantasies. I think they get off on shutting b*tches up with threats of rape and violence. It doesn’t matter if it’s gaming, atheism, or putting a lady on your money. The men sending these threats and supporting and encouraging the men sending threats know they are not threatening women because of what principled heroes they are. They know they aren’t defending men who threaten women and spread lies to encourage other men to threaten women because of how brave they are. They’re doing it for the same reason men harass, grope, assault and masturbate in front of women on trains, on the streets, at work and in schools. It turns them on to make women feel violated and afraid.

Finding and excuse to blame women for being abused and sexually assaulted by men is not new and that is all Gamergate is.

We see this all the time with any minority that is harmed by the keepers of the status quo. Every single one of them “had it coming” and if the reason they had it coming is a blatant lie, that’s fine with them.

Kootiepatra
Kootiepatra
7 years ago

“We believe that games are an art form that should be allowed to flourish and evolve naturally and freely; and should thus be protected….”

Yep, nothing like letting something evolve freely by holding a death grip over it and making sure nobody but you gets to touch it or look at it or say anything bad about it.

“We… condemn all attempts to use disinformation, censorship and bullying to disrupt free discussion…”

“We reject the Industry of Outrage… which parades fabricated martyrs and calcualted victimhood to distract from it’s [sic] own sins…”

“…who perpetually parrot their prejudiced hate…”

The irony. It burns.

Women are friggin’ getting chased out of their homes. And GamerGaters are whinging that someone predicted that their title will go away. Those poor, ignored, abused consumers. Will someone please think of them? How can they go on living if they start to feel bad about seeing naked dead women splayed all over their entertainment? Or if game devs start making less than five bajillion new games in which they get to look at naked dead women every year? Or if, THE HORRORS, games start getting made for people who aren’t hardcore gamerbros, too?

And yeah, fine, we’re up to four? five? different professional women who have been doxxed and graphically threatened in an attempt to ruin their careers. But those women are the industry of outrage, and GamerGaters clucked their tongues once or twice at the people making criminal threats, so it’s not that bad, and just shut up and listen to them already.

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Bernardo Soares
Bernardo Soares
7 years ago

These guys are both evil AND idiots.

seconded.

Zolnier
Zolnier
7 years ago

“We Are Alive”

Maybe GamerGate idiots are actually members of the undead.

Gethsemani
Gethsemani
7 years ago

I am a gamer. But at this moment I really wish I wasn’t. #Notyourshield straight back at you #GamerGate!

grumpyoldnurse
grumpyoldnurse
7 years ago

Somebody should tell that guy that using a thesaurus to embiggen a ridiculous rant doesn’t make it sound smart and reasonable.

Ain’t it kinda like when a grade-schooler starts swearing to try to sound more grown-up, but it just makes them sound like an insecure little kid?

Maybe GamerGate idiots are actually members of the undead.

BRRAAAIIIIINNNZZZZ! They need moar BRRRAAAIIIINNNNZZZZZZ! Or, they need to grab a brain. Either one.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

This point has been made many times but I’ll reiterate. All art forms are subject to criticism. That this manifesto writer is asking for video games to be taken seriously as an art form while simultaneously demanding that games not be analyzed from a feminist perspective displays a truly staggering amount of cluelessness.

I don’t know if I can stomach taking on this whole manifesto but I’ll translate my *favorite* paragraph.

We believe that misogyny exists, is toxic and trivializing it’s (sic) true gravity by throwing the term around as a ready-made decoy to stonewall any constructive dialogue: is intellectually dishonest and immoral.

Of course misogyny exists but I’m going to say it isn’t real unless a man says outright that he hates all women. Any misogyny I or my friends engage in is going to be dismissed because I’m going to play innocent and pretend I’m not being misogynistic. Also, I will dismiss any discussion of misogyny in our culture as trivial compared to how badly women have it in developing countries. Feminists are only allowed to discuss misogyny when it happens elsewhere.

My goal is to silence any discussion of misogyny in gamergate, the video game industry or our culture at large. I will do this by projecting a desire on the part of feminists to silence dissenting voices. I am intellectually dishonest and immoral so I will accuse feminists of being these things so that no one will be able to call me out on it.

Zolnier
Zolnier
7 years ago

Personally I wish that instead of harassing and threatening Zoe, GamerGate went the route of some Pakistanis in the early 90’s during the Salman Rushdie thing and made an insane, low budget action film with her as the villain. At least it would’ve been over quicker.

Zolnier
Zolnier
7 years ago

I apologise for using the word insane like that.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

Maybe GamerGate idiots are actually members of the undead.

A little early for Halloween…

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned before that Pantz has been one of my nicknames for my cat Darrow since way before I started coming here. I’m not even sure how, but for some reason Darrow became Dare-pants and eventually shortened to just pants or sometimes panties. It’s probably misandry to call my male cat panties. Poor guy.

It’s amusing to me that someone else calls their cat that. Here I thought I was original.

Bina
Bina
7 years ago

We believe that misogyny exists, is toxic and trivializing it’s (sic) true gravity by throwing the term around as a ready-made decoy to stonewall any constructive dialogue: is intellectually dishonest and immoral.

No, d00d. You know what’s REALLY intellectually dishonest and immoral? You claiming that games as currently construed are sacrosanct and therefore not subject to feminist analysis in the name of some bogus “social harmony” which happens, FYI, to be based in gross misogyny and “every woman in her place” BULLSHIT.

THAT’s what’s intellectually dishonest and immoral, you fucking moron.

bekabot
7 years ago

“We are gamers. We are alive.”

Yeah, dude, ‘cuz it would be super weird if you were writing this while dead.

tinyorc
7 years ago

NOM NOM NOM WORD SALAD.

beegees
beegees
7 years ago

Wait…. was this written against GG, or for it? The hampster wheels are turning so hard here that you really can’t tell.

After reading this monument of self-deception I’m starting to think that projection should be a regulated addictive narcotic.

vaiyt
7 years ago

And yeah, how about that “social harmony”?

The mating call of reactionaries and conservatives everywhere.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

We believe that misogyny exists, is toxic and trivializing it’s (sic) true gravity by throwing the term around as a ready-made decoy to stonewall any constructive dialogue: is intellectually dishonest and immoral.

translation:

I’ll tell you when you experience sexism, little lady. Talking about misogyny is no way to fight misogyny. You better shut up or you’ll make it look like misogyny is OK (which it totally is). *too incoherent to parse* Pay attention to meeeeeee! Women are immoral liars for talking about the vile shit I do.

belledame
belledame
7 years ago

“Evolve naturally” = “we will scream and scream and scream to prevent anything from changing.” Hokay.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

social harmony

Translation:

Until the the ladies shut up I will ruin this community for everyone with my pointless, dishonest, hateful tantrum.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/prodpop.jsp?LargeImageURL=/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-16622051dt.jpg&displayTab=enh&productId=23327756&totCount=0

Zolnier
Zolnier
7 years ago

I do find it funny how equality is meant to be inharmonious.

katz
7 years ago

Unless you are a dada artist or Karl Marx, writing a manifesto just makes you look like a pretentious douche.

cloudiah
7 years ago

It’s all so ridiculous.

On the Brianna Wu front, this move seems ill-advised:

https://twitter.com/Spacekatgal/status/521349952073920512

@Nero is Milo Yiannopoulos, Breitbart’s rape apologist and all-around asshat.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Ahem… I’ve written a preamble to a Manifesto.

A spectre is haunting video games — the spectre of Social Justice. All the powers of game journos have entered into an unholy alliance to promote this spectre: Literally Who’s 1-39, the scam artist Anita Sarkeeeeeeesian, and a bunch of feeeemales on tumblr, as well as their mangina lackeys like John Scalzi, PZ Myers, and the rest of their Nazi-like jackbooted thugs. And I think maybe the Pope too, I hear he’s said things that sound kind of Social Justice-y, so let’s just toss him in there. (Anyone know his twitter handle?)

Where is the gamer in opposition that has not been decried as my-soggy-knees-istic by non-gamers (by whom I mean people who play games I don’t, or feeeeemales who play the games I do but have some criticisms of them) who wield all the power? Where is the SJW that has not hurled back the branding reproach of “Hey maybe it would be cool if there was a greater diversity of games, so that more people could enjoy this fun hobby” against the more advanced and brave #GamerGaters?

Two things result from this fact:

I. Social Justice, which we all know is a terrible thing, is already accepted by all corrupt vidya game journalism outlets (by which I mean every such outlet that has ever said anything mean about the small subset of people who play games and think like me, but not any outlets (such as YouTube gaming enthusiasts who have taken money to promote particular games) that haven’t said anything mean about us).

II. It is high time that #Gators should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish our views, our aims, our tendencies, and confront the evil forces fighting for social justice with a manifesto of our movement–a movement that is organized enough to drive our enemies off the internet, but also disorganized enough that we can claim to disassociate itself from any self-proclaimed #Gator who attracts negative attention. (Although actually, we never truly disavow any of the words or behaviors of the #Gators attracting negative attention; we merely pretend they have nothing to do with us, while we are saying the exact same things that they do.)

ryeash
7 years ago

@cloudiah

Oh wow, WHY.

Also, I find it kind of funny that the guy representing #GamerGate in that little pow wow admittedly sucks at gaming. If they hadn’t already broken my irony meter, that right there could have shattered it hard enough to fling shrapnel to the moon.

“Anita Sarkeesian’s not a real gamer!! WHAA! Let’s listen to a guy who just started playing instead!”

You know what, you little #GamerGate fucks? YOU are not real gamers. Real gamers enjoy gaming for the fun of their own personal enjoyment of gaming, not because it’s supposed to be some exclusive boy’s club. Real gamers rely on their own opinions of what they enjoy in video games instead of pointing mortified fingers at anyone who DARES criticize anything to do with gaming. REAL GAMERS COULD GIVE A FUCK IF THEY’RE CALLED GAMERS. Just SHUT. UP. AND GAME.

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