Categories
Uncategorized

"Have you ever felt an Instant Magnetic Attraction with someone? (point to yourself)" and other surefire pickup lines from NLP dating guru Bart Baggett

“Have you asked yourself if the unlimited potential of our relationship is what is making you so happy.”
“Have you asked yourself if the unlimited potential of our relationship is what is making you so happy?”

So in my recent post about Jordan “Sarkeesian Effect” Owen’s ridiculous video accusing Anita Sarkeesian of using super seekret mind control techniques in her Kickstarter fundraising video, I talked a bit about Bart Baggett’s “The Secrets to Creating Chemistry,” (pdf) which attempted to apply some dubious techniques from Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) to dating.

I think I captured how incredibly silly Baggett’s claims are – I mean, this is a guy who thinks that you can manipulate people into bed through such occult tricks as … using adverbs before verbs and adjectives before nouns.

But I’m not sure I captured just how deeply weird his little manual is, particularly when Baggett attempts to provide real-world examples of how you can use his, er, techniques to con people into falling in love or lust with you – that is, specific things you are supposed to say to the people you’re trying to manipulate create chemistry with.

There’s just one problem with all these examples: they sound like they were written by robots from outer space with only the most minimal understanding of human language and/or psychology. Which they’ve gleaned from a pamphlet on how to sell insurance.

Here are some of his actual examples. (In the quotes that follow, I won’t bother to correct any of the typos; Baggett’s manual is riddled with egregious typos and proofreading failures that add to the surreality of it all.)

“Have you asked yourself if the unlimited potential of our relationship is what is making you so happy.”

No. No I have not asked myself that, at least not in those words.

“Have you naturally discovered how attractive you are becoming?”

Wat. Why not just, “hey you look great, did you do something different with your hair?” Or “cool shoes,” or “you have beautiful eyes” or, I dunno, “me like pretty lady.” I mean, virtually anything is better than “Have you naturally discovered how attractive you are becoming?”

“Becoming aware of the potentials of our relationship allows you to start experiencing the inner sense of malizing how completely we fit each other’s needs.”

“I was wondering if you mind can conceive of the power and feeling and closeness we are discovering.”

Again, these are literally things that Baggett thinks human beings should be saying to other human beings they are dating.

At the end of a date, don’t just say, “hey, I had a great time, let’s do this again.” Say

“During our time together, could be thinking about the next time we will meet?’

Sometimes Baggett assembles entire paragraphs worth of this NLP gobbledygook. Here’s something he suggests you say in order to convince someone you’re dating “to understand the benefits of committing to a relationship with you.”

“During our time together. I was wondering if you have ever considered the chief benefit of deciding to begin a monogamous relationship with that one’s special person you find attraction. As you begin to consider all the obvious reasons to make a commitment NOW, doesn’t it seem natural to feel more excited about our relationship.”

No. No it doesn’t.

“As your affection for me expands, are you realizing how incredibility happy you are to be with me.”

No. No I am not.

In one section of his manual, Baggett talks about using phony “quotes” that you’ve allegedly overheard in order to sneak your super seekrit NLP “embedded commands” into the conversation.

“The strangest thing happened last weekend. This woman walked right up to this guy and said, ‘Could you image you and I embracing in a long passionate kiss, right now?’ Wasn’t that a strange this to just come out and say to someone? People never cease to amaze me.”

Subtle, dude, subtle.

Here are some “Super Sentences Using Magic Phrases.”

“Have you already discovered how naturally you can develop a connection with someone you just met?”

“Naturally, and I will want to duplicate the excitement we feel, so let’s discuss what we will do on our next date.”

“Have you become aware of how fast you and I are clicking tonight?”

And here’s a super subtle and sophisticated way to “blur the line of truth and opinion.”

“You and I are here. We both came here alone. It’s getting late. It’s time we get outa here.”

Yeah, that’ll work.

Baggett also suggests that you use “binds” to trick people into agreeing with you. As he explains it, “[b]inds are when you link one statement (that they accept as true) with another statement you want them to accept as true.”

Watch this master at work:

“The more you feel a lack of trust, the more you will realize you really want to trust me completely.”

Yeah, nothing makes a person seem more trustworthy than attempted manipulation so blatant that it can be seen from outer space.

Baggett is apparently unaware that most people are actually pretty good at sensing when they’re being bullshitted.

“Most of my past girl/boyfriends have said that one of my best qualities is how comfortable they instantly feel and how rapidly they begin to feel that chemistry.. that attraction. I’m not sure what it is about me or if that same feeling could be happening right now. That’s just how other’s saw me. What do you think?”

Gosh, I can’t imagine your date would ever suspect that you were basically just trying to hypnotize them:

“Have you ever fallen madly in love? As you remember that time when you fell madly in love,and you see a picture of it, if you were to where you see that picture NOW, where might you be pointing?

As you just keep thinking about that, space as I talk to you, simply allow my words to come from that space, imagine that you would really start to feel absolutely fantastic. …

In fact, you may notice somewhere inside you want to create an opening for my words. So if I were to say to you,‘Watch what happens as you put a picture of you and me together in a very special ,way, right there in that space,” notice how special that feels. …

If you could just think about what really turns you on (point to that place), it can allow you to COME … to the same conclusion over and over again … that what you really want is to create on opening for DESIRE … create a place for ecstasy … and focus on the energy that swells up inside you, don’t you feel that way now?” (… Enjoy the ride.)

I think he must have meant to say “enjoy the ride home, by yourself, because your date fled in terror when you started up with the creepy hypnotic patter.”

Here’s the start of Baggett’s “Instant Seduction” pattern:

Have you ever felt and Instant Magnetic Attraction with someone? (point to yourself.)

Maybe as you were looking at them and you started to LISTEN INTENTLY as you found every word fascinating.

Sometimes this JUST NATURALLY HAPPENS, it seems as if there is just a chord of light (gesture from your solar plexes to his/hers) connecting you with that special person.

And as that beam of light begins to GLOW and PULSATE with the strength of that connection, it just seems NATURAL that they are BEING PULLED CLOSER AND more intimate as time passes. … .

Run! RUN!!!!

Why bother going through a weird NLP seminar manual that’s nearly 20 years old? Well, partly because it’s funny. Partly because this guy actually made a living teaching this crap to people. People PAID HIM MONEY to learn to turn every conversation into an odd, unnatural, offputting attempt at hypnosis.

But what makes this relevant here is that this is where the pickup artist phenomenon came from. And a lot of this nonsense is still embedded, as it were, in “pickup artist” techniques today. PUAs today may not use actual hypnotic suggestions to con their targets, but they still use a lot of the old NLP lingo, and they’re still obsessed with manipulation and mind games.

It’s the PUAs, not Anita Sarkeesian, who are the real heirs to Bart Baggett.

ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOADS!

 

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

113 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
andrea harris
5 years ago

It reads like something put in Wordperfect using an early version of Dragon Dictate. That could explain all the weird typos.

Kevin K
Kevin K
5 years ago

I see this as proof positive that aliens are living among us. They just haven’t quite got the lingo down. That’s how you tell they’re aliens.

hellkell
hellkell
5 years ago

He reads like a DVD manual translated into English by someone who only spoke Swahili. IKEA bookshelf assembly pictograms make more sense than this guy.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

I went to a guided imagery person once to try to quit smoking. This recital sounds just like the tape she gave me. That particular rhythm puts me off to this day.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I think if a date started talking like this, I would worry that he was having a stroke or something.

Jenny (@dontgiveah00t)

This guy seems incapable of advising people on interaction, primarily because he does not seem to have interacted with others enough to know what natural speech patterns actually sound like.

steampunked (@steampunked)

While it’s deeply weird, these are still better than some of the pickup lines I have been given (my favourite of all time remains: ‘Want to see my wound? It’s suppurating!’).

I realised that I have actually been given the ‘have you ever’ ones, but have always responded, puzzled and truthful, with ‘No?’ I didn’t realise those were actually pickup lines, but I guess I do now? They seem kind of harmless in the modern context, which is sad.

Wouldn’t this stuff work better on the clueless such as I if we knew what was actually going on?

athorist
5 years ago

Is using props poor game? Because “Have you ever felt an Instant Magnetic Attraction with someone?” (point to magnet). I’m sure there’s another pun in it if you use a bar magnet.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

This nincompoop owes the English language an apology.

Skanky Tits
5 years ago

Fun fact: I had someone try to NLP me into not telling people that he assaulted me, during our restorative justice meeting. Didn’t work but was actually pretty hilarious.

serrana
serrana
5 years ago

During our time together, have you ever wondered naturally why you are not running away screaming?

Flora
Flora
5 years ago

Perhaps the PUA could work it into a neg, as a reminder to “not set the BAR too high”…

But actually, a line that bad with a nerdy prop would totally work on me, particularly if they then engaged me in a series of physics-related puns. But I’m willing to bet that nerds are well outside the PUA target audience (plus it would acknowledge that we have independent intelligence, non-universal likes and dislikes, etc.)

Xanith
Xanith
5 years ago

Is the strategy to confuse your target until they think you’re smarter/better-educated than you actually are?

Because that method is actually pretty easy to see through real fast.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I guess that wonky hipmatizzum worked on me, because I’m so stupefied by all the thud-sentences that I simply have nothing left to say.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

I guarentee that the extent to which this works is exactly the extent to which the potential hypnosisee thinks “aww, that’s the strangest, most corny thing I’ve ever heard. That’s a little adorable.”

Lontar
Lontar
5 years ago

I thought I had seen these quotes before on a Pervocracy article, but I checked and I’d misremembered. This is the one I was thinking of http://pervocracy.blogspot.co.nz/2009/02/fast-seduction.html . Little similar towards the end!

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Xanith – my reaction would be more a puzzled, “Where the hell did you learn English and can you get your money back?” than thinking he’s smart or educated or anything positive.

strivingally
5 years ago

I get what the idea is meant to be – asking leading questions and framing things so that the other person says “yes”. It’s a common tactic in dispute resolution, among other areas.

It’s just that this particular iteration of it is so amusingly ham-fisted I can’t imagine reactions that aren’t either totally confused, literally laughing out loud, or really creeped out (or some combination of the three).

Skye
Skye
5 years ago

Ford Prefect’s research on how to blend in with humans was much better

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

While it’s deeply weird, these are still better than some of the pickup lines I have been given (my favourite of all time remains: ‘Want to see my wound? It’s suppurating!’).

…My best one?

“Hey honey, I just got out of an 8-year stretch in TDCJ (Texas state prison), and you’re lookin’ pretty good to me right now!”

…Hey, unlike these PUA dudes, at least the guy was honest.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

And he did take a polite no for an answer, too. Hmm.

Skye
Skye
5 years ago

Kirbywarp, probably.

I had a friend in high school who wanted to ask another of my friends out. He gave himself a pep talk, went up to her, and froze. He ended up mumbling, “how’s your coke can?” They dated for about a year.

Unimaginative
5 years ago

So, I’m actually certified in NLP, although I don’t practice it enough and I’m not very good at it. This particular pattern is used a lot in scripts to break bad habits–quit smoking, stop overeating, stop procrastinating, what have you. (I don’t find this particular pattern very useful, tbh. The theory is, you distract and confuse the conscious mind, and slip suggestions into the unconscious mind while the conscious mind isn’t looking.) The thing is, all throughout my training, we kept going over ethics, and why it is NEVER appropriate to NLP somebody without their consent. How surprising that PUAs don’t get the whole “consent” notion.

cloudiah
5 years ago

incredibility

This should be a word. Why isn’t this a word?

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

…No, I think it’s really all about the power trip for them.

It’s not so much that they want a happily consenting girl to gleefully boink their brains out all night long, they want to be in control of her.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
5 years ago

Kind of ironically, the context other than PUA where this sort of language actually gets uttered is the femdom hypnofetish community. Still really silly, but at least it’s consensual there.

I think I’ve posted this here before, but this is one of the most hilarious and stupid and evil things I’ve come across on the internet: a “pattern” to try and trick your girlfriend into having anal sex. It involves the secret forbidden mesmeric technique of pointing at your schlong.

http://www.pickupguide.com/layguide/p_backdoor.htm

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

There is a way to use words to make people want to spend more time with you. It’s called conversation. Instead of looking for ways around being interesting and enjoyable to be around, why don’t these dudebros ever just work on being more interesting and enjoyable to be around?

It’s easy. Check it out:

To be more interesting, have some interests. Be willing to share them and be open to others sharing theirs with you. Don’t forget that part of conversing is listening.

To be more enjoyable to spend time with, try communicating clearly and not being a creepy skeev.

Results may vary.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

Unimaginative:

The theory is, you distract and confuse the conscious mind, and slip suggestions into the unconscious mind while the conscious mind isn’t looking

Interesting … the one time I’ve had hypnosis done (it was an attempt to deal with my noise-related stress and Did Not Work) I was constantly distracted by the stupid “relaxing” script the dude used. Telling me I was walking down a splendid staircase and into a bedroom with a four-poster just had me wondering What the hell stupid architect puts the main bedroom at the *bottom* of a flight of stairs?. Be nice to think it was a deliberate distraction instead of just a stupid one! 😀

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

I think I’ve posted this here before, but this is one of the most hilarious and stupid and evil things I’ve come across on the internet: a “pattern” to try and trick your girlfriend into having anal sex. It involves the secret forbidden mesmeric technique of pointing at your schlong.

As opposed to the more direct method of just accidentally-on-purpose clumsily trying to insert oneself in the wrong orifice, and immediately getting called out with a death glare and a “what the hell do you think you’re doing???” Kinky.

Puddleglum
5 years ago

Maybe guys using this technique think the glazed look followed by a quizzical ‘Huh?’ are signs of success, rather than normal confusion? Because if someone tried this line on me, I’d be stumped trying to puzzle out what they just said (and wondering just how much alcohol they’d had). Not mesmerized, just puzzled.

lacerta viridis
5 years ago

@kirbywarp Yeah, I suspect that’s it exactly. I can actually sort of imagine myself hearing something like this and thinking “oh god, they’re trying so hard, and it sounds like maybe English isn’t their first language or something”.

Honestly, most of this comes across to me as more pathetic/bizarre than creepy/gross, unlike most PUA stuff – I guess because it seems to be a lot more geared towards ‘please like me and think I’m cool oh god please’ rather than ‘time to make people feel bad about themselves in order to have just-barely-consensual sex with them!’

But, yeah. If my partner suddenly came out with “As your affection for me expands, are you realizing how incredibility happy you are to be with me?” I’d be kind of worried about them, not swooning at their feet.

vaiyt
5 years ago

The last quote sounds less like hypnosis and more like someone who’s really full of himself. “Have you ever found someone as amazing as me? You’re in love with me and hang on my every word, don’t you? Huh? Huh?”

Puddleglum
5 years ago

Clearly, the only proper response to this (and to so many other such tricks) is, ‘You don’t get out much, do you?’

lacerta viridis
5 years ago

@Puddleglum I’ve wondered similar things about terpers who claim incredible success rates with their amazing being-a-rude-asshole techniques. Maybe all these guys just figure that any response other than actually screaming and running away = FANTASTIC SUCCESS?

contrapangloss
5 years ago

What I really want to happen if someone uses this dudes lines…

Dude: (blah blah passive voiced blah blah blah)?

Lady [pulls out flashlight/penlight]: “Can you say ‘Ahhhh’?”

Dude: “Wha?”

Lady: “I want to see if your tongue’s turned purple from all that prose.”

Puddleglum
5 years ago

@lacerta viridis, yup, pretty much. This one didn’t run away! She likes me!

contrapangloss
5 years ago

Also, the passive voice bugs me. I am an ‘actor’ in my own life, who does things. I am not an inanimate apparatus that is assembled and has things occur around it.

Dennis Jernberg (@dennis_jernberg)

I read and reread those quotes and read them again. I imagined how actual human women would respond if confronted with lines like that. Maybe they only make PUAs sound creepier than they are, but it convinced me that Baggett must be some sort of mad scientist, probably from outer space, spinning them out in a robotic monotone in an (obviously failed) attempt to take over the world.

incredibility

This should be a word. Why isn’t this a word?

I believe it is a word. Problem is, contrary to Baggett’s usage, it’s not an adverb but a noun. It’s obvious he meant “incredibly”.

More proof that Baggett has no feel for human language, certainly not editing. Maybe he actually is a robot pretending to be human if he never noticed this wrong selection by his inner autocorrect. No doubt this robot was sent by the Hypnotoad to enslave womankind.

Disclosure: hypnosis doesn’t work on me.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

What really makes me laugh about this bozo’s stuff – apart from the ATROCIOUS ENGLISH – is that I have felt immediate, if not magnetic, attraction, and have been very much aware of how happy I am as our relationship grows. That’s hardly unique, of course; it’s just what drew my attention to the headline. But at no point did Louis ask mangled-English, egocentric-waffle questions. If anything we were both OMG I’m so happy! Are we doin it rong?

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

I have, and it was only a daydreamy sort of trance, with, as I said, my mind going on tangents. I got itchy, which I always do when I’m relaxing/sleepy: dude tried to stop that, and it made no difference. It was all a bit too New Age for my liking, and being told “You are doing/feeling this or that” just irritates me, even if the suggestion-planting works, which it didn’t in this case.

Kim
Kim
5 years ago

I remember reading/hearing about a study showing that your level of believing you could be hypnotised had no bearing on whether you could be or not. It made me feel sorry for people who are really keen to try it, but for who it doesn’t work.

Is Bagget’s use of “naturally” meant to refer to the euphamism “do what comes naturally”? Most of the rest of it, I can’t think of anything it could subconsciously mean.

A bit of blatant innuendo/flirtation would be a much more effective way of using double meaning IMO. A guy with a quick wit and a dirty mind can be very sexy.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

A guy with a quick wit and a dirty mind can be very sexy.

True, and he can still be sexy when the double entendre was inadvertent! 😀

Puddleglum
5 years ago

I’ve had success with self-hypnosis and trancework, but when someone else tries to hypnotize me, I get extremely paranoid and fight it.

seraph4377
5 years ago

Forgive me if this is TMI, or sounds like bragging, but I really have had women go to bed with me sooner than they had planned. Now, none of them were same-day pick-ups at a bar or anything (I don’t like bars), but there were a few who gave me a go on the second or third date, or even the first in-person meeting after some online chatting. How do I know this was sooner than they’d planned? They’d often tell me, afterwards, how they’d surprised themselves. Why did they do it, then?

To a one, they’ve told me that they’d trusted me. That they’d sensed I was safe.

I honestly don’t know how it works, but I seem to radiate an aura of “most harmless person on the planet”. Recently, a lost little girl picked me at random out of a Broadway show crowd to help her find her mommy.

Know what would have fucked that up to a fare-thee-well? Trying to control their minds with word salad.

Piece of advice to any PUA’s actually reading this: women are not trying to avoid getting laid. Chances are good that if a woman is dating, she would like to get laid very much. But most are trying to weed out the rapists and serial killers before they take them home. Acting creepy as fuck will not help your quest.

pecunium
5 years ago

This makes the pick-up sequence in the opening of “The Sure Thing” seem like a good idea (long speech about space, and astronauts and weird psycho-babble, ending with, “how would you like to have a sexual experience so intense it could conceivably change your political views”).

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

I went to be hypnotized. I paid to be hypnotized. I made a point of asking them before I went if it was guided imagery and they said no it is the real thing. It was not. All I got was 35 minutes of guided imagery.
I was not pleased.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

Me too, Puddleglum. It wasn’t exactly third person so much as editorial oversight. Bizarre.

beth
beth
5 years ago

I asked my boyfriend if he naturally discovered how attractive he was becoming and in reply he just showed me a picture juxtaposing saggy old Iggy Pop with a hairless cat. Does this mean it’s working?

Unimaginative
5 years ago

Yeah, I’ve only been hypnotized by people I trust. On the other hand, some hypnotists I know say that humans are pretty much constantly under a light trance about something or other. Like, if you’re driving a route you take every day, and all of a sudden you’re at your destination but don’t remember the trip, you were tranced by the routine of it all.

It’s actually why a lot of NLP tricks “work”. People are well into their daily pattern, not thinking about the routine too closely, and the NLPer does a “pattern interrupt” and shocks them into behaving abnormally. Brains are weird.

1 2 3