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Red Piller wins the culture war with innovative "panty sniffer" insult

pantees

My post about Heartiste and the sour slut grapes the other day inspired the following highly ironic series of Tweets from Mr. H and one of his fans.

RedPillPhil ‏@RedPillPhil  @DavidFutrelle you on your best day could never match intellects with @heartiste. That's why you and your ilk must resort to mewling snark      Reply     Retweet     Favorite  11:30 AM - 9 Oct 2014 Tweet text Reply to @RedPillPhil @heartiste       heartiste ‏@heartiste 11h11 hours ago      @RedPillPhil @DavidFutrelle Fatrelle, have you ever talked to a cute girl without loading your fat boy diapers? Online doesn't count.         Reply         Retweet         Favorite     RedPillPhil ‏@RedPillPhil 11h11 hours ago      @heartiste @DavidFutrelle Futrelle is definitely a panty sniffer.

I am overwhelmed by the intellectual firepower on display in these Tweets!

RedPillPhill has offered other highly erudite critiques of my writing in the past.

Hmm. This last one seems debatable, given that RedPillPhil is a Dark Enlightenment “race realist” who recently retweeted this lovely cartoon:

Apparently posting racist cartoons and calling me a womanly panty-sniffer is how Phil plans to win the war. What war? THE CULTURE WAR.

Is the Dark Enlightenment called the Dark Enlightenment because everyone involved in it has their head permanently up their own ass?

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phasma
phasma
6 years ago

One day, I’ll master these HTML codes…
I promise?

Shannon Hubbell (@brundlefly)

So, MRAs tend to be Dark Enlightenment types and Dark Enlightenment types tend to be MRAs. I’m not sure who ends up looking worse here.

Binjabreel
6 years ago

I think the reason they’re so prone to making up ridiculous terms is that it helps them convince themselves that these are brand new radical ideas. If they admit there’s already a word for it (let alone one that I can find in my ancient 2700 page dictionary from 1907) that would mean facing up to the fact that they’re rehashing the same old bullshit that’s banged around our culture for centuries.

Binjabreel
6 years ago

Also, lol, how could we ever hope to match wits with Heartiste?! He has cleverly replaced the initial phoneme in David’s last name with another syllable that also means a derogatory description! I could never hope to soar to such heights of linguistic insultry!

Jesus, he’s fucking pathetic.

Pocket Nerd
6 years ago

Thus Spake ZaraShannon Hubbell:

So, MRAs tend to be Dark Enlightenment types and Dark Enlightenment types tend to be MRAs. I’m not sure who ends up looking worse here.

It’s like a rose growing from a pile of manure! Except the rose smells like manure. And looks like manure. And actually is just a pile of manure on top of a slightly larger pile of manure.

freshlysqueezedcynic
freshlysqueezedcynic
6 years ago

basically, the “Cathedral” is a way to make cultural change sound like a devious conspiracy.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Also, lol, how could we ever hope to match wits with Heartiste?!

Well, I would…but I refuse to do battle with an unarmed man.

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
6 years ago

“Also, lol, how could we ever hope to match wits with Heartiste?! He has cleverly replaced the initial phoneme in David’s last name with another syllable that also means a derogatory description! I could never hope to soar to such heights of linguistic insultry!”

… I honestly thought that was a typo until you pointed it out.

becausescience
becausescience
6 years ago

Ah, the Dark Enlightenment, or How To Use 40,000 Words And 17 Thesauri To Say “Here’s Why Rich White Men Should Rule Over Everyone Else – And If You Disagree With Me, You’re Stupid And EVIL!”

Daeran Zemaitis
Daeran Zemaitis
6 years ago

I actually didn’t know that the “Dark Enlightenment” was other than what they sounded like, but they actually ARE what I said they are – they wish to send society back to the Dark Ages. They actually are against civilization because they cannot function in a civilized society.

Daeran Zemaitis
Daeran Zemaitis
6 years ago

Also don’t take these guys lightly. This is the kind of politicized aggrieved male rage and entitlement that was the fuel powering National Socialism and IS the fuel poewring ISIS and Al Qaeda.

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
6 years ago

Oh, I get it! The “Cathedral” is what mainstream conservatives call “The Church of Political Correctness”, or “The Church of Global Warming”. I don’t agree with them, but the point is that it’s easy to figure out the analogy they want to make.

So “Cathedral” is just the end-game of political discourse, when you’ve moved into jargon so specialized that no one outside your group can understand what you’re saying. The only thing I don’t get is why they want to use “Cathedral” in particular. Why can’t they just say “Alinskyites” like the rest of the right-wing fringe?

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

If they can’t function in a modern, civilized world, then let them move to a desert island. And take no modern conveniences with them. Not one cellphone or flush toilet. Let them live on Gilligan’s Island, without the Professor. And no coconuts, either.

If they think the Middle Ages are so great, let them go unwashed, with no food protections or any of those other modern governmental interferences that make their lives far too easy and soft. And let them contract bubonic plague, like good traditionalists.

katz
6 years ago

By calling David Futrelle an agent of the “Cathedral,” RightSaidFred RedPillPhil is telling his fellows that Mr. Futrelle hates men, white people, and heterosexuals

Which is ironic, since those are the exact opposite of the people who you’d expect to be hated at an actual cathedral.

Orion
6 years ago

“Cathedral” is their word for establishment? That is deeply weird. Is this just another case of Heartiste grabbing images and metaphors at random, or have these dark enlightenment guys inherited actual hatred of catholics from their buddies in the klan?

Daeran Zemaitis
Daeran Zemaitis
6 years ago

Fascists never think out the logical implications of their neo-medievalism – that someone will kick their ass at some point if there’s no civilization to stop them. The Axis threw civilized standards to the wind, and the rest is literally history. People don’t realize that a revenge genocide was on the table against both the Germans and Japanese, but cooler heads prevailed. That’s what happens when you start thinking that democracy and rationalism and progressivism isn’t working for you and you want to readopt barbarism.

JoJo
JoJo
6 years ago

This cathedral thing just makes them sound so much like a living Chick Tract now, except replace “everybody but southern baptists are a bunch of heathens/catholics control the world” with full scale racism

becausescience
becausescience
6 years ago

If they can’t function in a modern, civilized world, then let them move to a desert island.

I’d like to see which one of them declares himself King Lord Supreme Ruler first, and how the others react to it, since I don’t think a bunch of insecure wannabe alpha males would respond well to taking orders from someone else. I’d expect Redpilltopia/DarkEnlightentopia would be plagued by constant infighting, mountains of dirty laundry and dishes (“Bro, how DARE you ask me to do the dishes! What do you think I’m some beta??? YOU do the dishes!”), them constantly accusing each other of being SJW shills, fistfights over bags of Cheetos…all culminating in a hilarious, dizzying collapse, and then them blaming the collapse on feminism.

katz
6 years ago

Fascists never think out the logical implications of their neo-medievalism – that someone will kick their ass at some point if there’s no civilization to stop them. The Axis threw civilized standards to the wind, and the rest is literally history. People don’t realize that a revenge genocide was on the table against both the Germans and Japanese, but cooler heads prevailed. That’s what happens when you start thinking that democracy and rationalism and progressivism isn’t working for you and you want to readopt barbarism.

Although they are common bedfellows in America today, I feel the need to point out that there are key differences between fascism and libertarianism.

becausescience
becausescience
6 years ago

“Cathedral” is their word for establishment? That is deeply weird. Is this just another case of Heartiste grabbing images and metaphors at random, or have these dark enlightenment guys inherited actual hatred of catholics from their buddies in the klan?

The “Cathedral” is basically their way of saying the “liberal media” and academia without sounding too much like run of the mill paranoid conservatives. As has been pointed out upthread, as much as DErs and redpill types present their ideas as some sort of new, edgy philosophy, they’ve really just taken ultra rightwing ideas and rebranded them to appeal to a certain strain of bitter, pretentious techie guys.

ikanreed
ikanreed
6 years ago

Look, people who disagree with me are dogmatic and like The Church that put Galileo on trial. Please don’t use actual regurgitation of dogma as a metric, because that’s objective and may make the whole thing look nuanced.

Puddleglum
6 years ago

They think all the jargon makes them sound smart, lol.

It keeps boggling my mind that they honestly, really and truly, think they’re the best and brightest. That through the chicanery of evil haters, they are deprived of their rightful place in the world order.

o_O

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

@Binjabreel

Also, lol, how could we ever hope to match wits with Heartiste?! He has cleverly replaced the initial phoneme in David’s last name with another syllable that also means a derogatory description! I could never hope to soar to such heights of linguistic insultry!

If only there were something derogatory that rhymes with “Heartiste”. Something you could get by replacing that first letter.

I’ve tried and tried, but my inferior intellect simply isn’t up to the task.

kittehserf - MOD
6 years ago

I’d like to see which one of them declares himself King Lord Supreme Ruler first, and how the others react to it, since I don’t think a bunch of insecure wannabe alpha males would respond well to taking orders from someone else. I’d expect Redpilltopia/DarkEnlightentopia would be plagued by constant infighting, mountains of dirty laundry and dishes (“Bro, how DARE you ask me to do the dishes! What do you think I’m some beta??? YOU do the dishes!”), them constantly accusing each other of being SJW shills, fistfights over bags of Cheetos…all culminating in a hilarious, dizzying collapse, and then them blaming the collapse on feminism.

It’d be Lord of the Flies with less maturity.

phasma
phasma
6 years ago

“Cathedral” is their word for establishment? That is deeply weird. Is this just another case of Heartiste grabbing images and metaphors at random, or have these dark enlightenment guys inherited actual hatred of catholics from their buddies in the klan?

Quite the opposite, actually. From what I understand from their long-winded screeds, they seem to hold catholicism in much higher regard than, say, protestantism. Might have something to do with the fact that they attribute the birth of “progressivism” to Calvin.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

What’s a cathedral apologist? Also, PUA dudes, just for the record, “have you ever talked to a cute girl” ceases to be an appropriate question once you hit about 12 years old, 13 or 14 tops. From one adult man to another it’s just sad.

phasma
phasma
6 years ago

What’s a cathedral apologist?

Just another DE term for their (perceived or real) detractors.

Ghoulie McGreusome (@mcjulie)

If this is a culture war, when you have the people who build cathedrals (and the space program and modern medicine and electricity and the Internet…) on one side, and people who think the entire enlightenment is dumb “equalist” propaganda, it’s pretty obvious which side is going to win.

Fibinachi
6 years ago

What’s a cathedral apologist?

Us, on account of our pernicious unwillingness to accept that “Progressivism” and “Equality” and “Democracy” are nothing but terrible delusions.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago

Every time I see the types of people that use “progressive” as a pejorative, I feel so validated about my life choices.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Heartiste thinks that he is an intellectual.
No, wait. Heartiste thinks he is an intellectual.
BWAHAHAHAHAH!

Heartiste is an example of what happens when someone’s too egotistical to accept and use negative feedback, then add 20 or so adult years.

He’s apparently able to sell his harmful and misogynistic crap to those even more deluded than himself, though. He makes himself money this way. He creates little woman-hating, abusive clones of himself, making the lives of women worse, AND making the lives of those who put his advice into practice worse.
What a fucking peach.
Life becomes so much easier when you don’t mind screwing over anybody and everybody you come into contact with, doesn’t it?

Being hated by a scumfuck’s probably a good thing.

katz
6 years ago

Might have something to do with the fact that they attribute the birth of “progressivism” to Calvin.

*spit take*

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Herrteste

Two letters changed.

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Let’s see:

There’s the standard ‘Fartiste’

Hairtease – for fans of Hairspray
Bartbeast – for fans of the Simpsons
Dartleast – cuz he sucks at darts? (I admit it, I can’t think of a funny here)

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
6 years ago

There’s also the subtle “Fartiest,” which works better when written.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Although they are common bedfellows in America today, I feel the need to point out that there are key differences between fascism and libertarianism.

True. The original fascists were far better organized, for one thing.

strivingally
6 years ago

So the Dark Enlightenment is pretty much a bunch of pretentious assholes coming up with some pseudo-intellectual bullshit rationalising their racism, sexism, contempt for anybody not exactly like them, and reinforcing their beliefs that they are the chosen few who can see the dawning of a new era in which they will be the newly worshipped deities?

This story is so old it may as well be written on vellum. It’s just been given a new twist by the fusion of several aggrieved philosophies into one big ball of Everyone Is Blind And Brainwashed By The Conspiracy Except Us. It’s the Protocols of Zion. It’s The Myth of Male Power. It’s every whining teenage tantrum about how it’s not faaaaaaaaair I don’t get everything I want but Nikki’s mom lets her wear makeup and Josh’s dad lets him have the car and OMG I hate you you’ve ruined my life! … projected onto anybody the author feels is inferior to them.

And they wonder why we laugh at them.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
6 years ago

That is what I was thinking too, a fresh new hellish reinvention of the John Birch Society.

maistrechat
6 years ago

After the mention of the RC church above, I can’t help but see all of them as Ignatius Riley from A confederacy of dunces. It’s essentially the same ideology, just with internet access.

strivingally
6 years ago

My personal favourite part (read: part that makes me want to claw my brain out) of the DE concept is the wonderful solipsist loop created by the rejection of “democracy” as a concept in and of itself – thus no matter how many people tell you that you’re being an ass, or how many laws are passed forcing you to treat other people like people, or how much representation there is in the government, these asshats can write it all off as “the hive” and don’t have to acknowledge that most people don’t agree with their nihilistic bullshit.

The fingerprints of this mentality are all over things like GamerGate.

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
6 years ago

So the Dark Enlightenment is pretty much a bunch of pretentious assholes coming up with some pseudo-intellectual bullshit rationalising their racism, sexism, contempt for anybody not exactly like them, and reinforcing their beliefs that they are the chosen few who can see the dawning of a new era in which they will be the newly worshipped deities?

You forgot “who are already institutionally privileged”.

This story is so old it may as well be written on vellum.

Yup – there’s an amazing amount of arguments made over the centuries providing intellectual, moral or religious justifications for why people with power that is being threatened deserve to keep it. In this case, it’s the unearned privilege of being a white English-speaking male (and I speak as a member of that group).

A Wolverine
A Wolverine
6 years ago

The Dark enlightenment clowns are only self aware enough to realize that calling themselves fascists would drive people away but not enough to realize the phrase “dark enlightenment” sounds really stupid

A Wolverine
A Wolverine
6 years ago

Also “virtuous mission” is a reference to metal gear solid 3. Said mission FAILED in that game.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I’m not sure why you’d want to advertise the fact that you’re the people who create nothing. Is their slogan going to be “We’re here, we’re useless, get used to it”?

vaiyt
6 years ago

“Everything for me, and nothing for thee!” and the rationalizations thereof.

saphy
saphy
6 years ago

I am just popping by to share this shocking turd of soft-MRA journalism in TIME magazine… has anyone seen this yet? “NO FEMINISM UNTIL YOU SOLVE MAN PROBLEMS TOO”
http://time.com/3432838/emma-watson-feminism-men-women/

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

I’d like to see which one of them declares himself King Lord Supreme Ruler first, and how the others react to it, since I don’t think a bunch of insecure wannabe alpha males would respond well to taking orders from someone else. I’d expect Redpilltopia/DarkEnlightentopia would be plagued by constant infighting, mountains of dirty laundry and dishes (“Bro, how DARE you ask me to do the dishes! What do you think I’m some beta??? YOU do the dishes!”), them constantly accusing each other of being SJW shills, fistfights over bags of Cheetos…all culminating in a hilarious, dizzying collapse, and then them blaming the collapse on feminism.

This is a reality TV show I would totally watch.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Re: the Time Article

‘Tis a crock of shit, and verily! it stinketh…

M. the Social Justice Ranger
M. the Social Justice Ranger
6 years ago

“I am just popping by to share this shocking turd of soft-MRA journalism in TIME magazine… has anyone seen this yet?”

“Cathy Young is a contributing editor at Reason magazine.”

Fun fact: Reason is a right-wing Libertarian magazine/site that’s most well-known for actively denying the Holocaust since the ’70s.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

I’d like to see which one of them declares himself King Lord Supreme Ruler first, and how the others react to it, since I don’t think a bunch of insecure wannabe alpha males would respond well to taking orders from someone else. I’d expect Redpilltopia/DarkEnlightentopia would be plagued by constant infighting, mountains of dirty laundry and dishes (“Bro, how DARE you ask me to do the dishes! What do you think I’m some beta??? YOU do the dishes!”), them constantly accusing each other of being SJW shills, fistfights over bags of Cheetos…all culminating in a hilarious, dizzying collapse, and then them blaming the collapse on feminism.

This is a reality TV show I would totally watch.

If you shot it in a really big bachelor-pad style house…I could see this working.
Davis Aurini needs to be one of the housemates. No voting out of the house, though, or games, or anything.
Just watching the dysfunction spiraling out of control and documenting same.

They DO need some Nat-Geo style narrator talking, though, in a very hyperbolic fashion.