The Redditor who goes by the name vlodia has what can only be described as a unique set of interests: Stocks. Diablo. Leaked celebrity nudes. Anonymous browsing. And semen.
And while vlodia seems to keep most of his semen-related inquires confined to porn subreddits like r/tipofmypenis, he recently wandered into the Men’s Rights subreddit to ask about a semen-related quandary more serious than where to find “Videos Featuring A Guy Cumming Really Fast After Blowjob or Handjob?”
In his Men’s Rights posting, vlodia asked the subreddit’s legal whizzes just what a decent regular fella like himself could do to protect against false rape accusations in three distinct scenarios – one involving a girlfriend with a secret “agenda against you,” another involving a spiteful one-night-stand, and one involving an especially devious false accuser that vlodia calls The Semen Thief.
Yeah, let’s just skip ahead to that one.
Scenario 3: “The semen thief” — a woman paid a hooker to seduce a man, specifically instructing her to have sex with condoms, so [the hooker] can bring the semen-filled condom to the woman so she can put some in her vagina as a proof she was raped by this guy. When the woman was examined by a doctor, it was proven your sperm was positively inside her. As it turns out, this woman who is charging you happens to be your acquaintance through work. How can a man fight back against this charge?
The assembled Men’s Rights Redditors generously offered their hard-won wisdom on how best to handle these scenarios.
Thementallyillclam urged vlodia to avoid all contact with women.
Lazlounderhill, by contrast, urged vlodia to avoid all contact with women.
MetaMGTOW suggested a rather inventive strategy to help vlodia avoid all contact with women.
Mtersen, meanwhile, urged vlodia to avoid all contact with women. Or at least all women working at upscale clothing stores. And then to flee the country.
Though I hate fo find myself agreeing with Men’s Rightsers on anything, I too would recommend that vlodia avoid all contact with women.
I also am a MYOS. Today I made a ham and salad sandwich on my own cheese and onion bread!
(OK )
Oops! Code mess up!
That bracketted OK, should read – OK, bought mix in a breadmaker bread. I am slowly working my way up to making handmade bread from scratch!
The Express bullshit didn’t happen. No gay man says “I’m glad I went gay”. They didn’t go gay, they are gay. It’s not a lifestyle or a choice, it’s human sexuality.
@fruitloopsie, I also dislike the comparing of these asshats to kids, mostly because it’s a) a diss to kids and b) a cop-out. It’s like ‘boys will be boys’. All the ‘nope’ to that.
@Nick & others. But would a bisexual MGTOW say ‘went gay’? That scenario wouldn’t shock me.
I truly think MGTOWs don’t comprehend that gay men are genuinely gay. I think they see it as the ultimate escape from women. These people love to project.
@ Irene – it’s not recommended, to the point that some condom packages themselves say don’t do it, but plenty of people do. Rather risk plugging the pipes than leave them to be found in the waste basket, I guess.
“The Semen Thief” sounds like the title of an extremely misguided YA novel.
So the MGTOW Level Four is basically “I never grew out of thinking Ayn Rand was an awesome visionary, and also I would def totes be at the top of any Objectivist paradise”.
Also the idea that you’re somehow aiding The Great Feminist Conspiracy by paying taxes is fucking hilarious. Because obviously, taxes have never ever paid for anything for the benefit of men. Honestly, I don’t even know how these guys brain.
Or maybe a Anne Rice novel about a succubus/incubus…
SA: So the MGTOW Level Four is basically “I never grew out of thinking Ayn Rand was an awesome visionary, and also I would def totes be at the top of any Objectivist paradise”.
Nope – Level 4 is an *excuse* for being a lazy bum holed up in a basement playing video games instead of working.
“I’m not wasting my potential – I’m adopting a political stance against feminazis!”
Wow. The perfect answer. See…we’re not that different, after all.
@Irene…my last female companion (OK, I’m having trouble with this…what’s the correct term for what was formerly known as “girlfriend”?) worked at a sewage treatment facility. She was actually in charge of some pretty cool stuff involving PCBs.
Her office was in the same facility where the flushed stuff came to be processed. And they had special “catchers” — not just for condoms though, because you wouldn’t believe the stuff people send down the crapper.
So yeah, not biodegradable, but definitely flushable. I always flushed mine and she never told me not to…so I’m assuming she was OK with it. But grease down the trap? No way!
“Whenever women need to be interacted with, effect a high-camp voice and pout.”
I am crying from laughing so hard. Oh man, I am getting too old for this shit.
Imagine how there are or at least how one guy is doing that because he has to interact with a woman. Hilarious! I’m inclined to believe that method gets him more women friends than he’d liked 😉
If you live in a coastal city, or a city where wastewater is processed and put into the watershed, please do not flush the condoms. They often get shredded and torn apart in the pipes and in wastewater plants during processing, but it puts plastic remnants into the water system. Plastic in the oceans is a big deal, contributing to seabird and marine turtle deaths.
(okay, some plastic becomes microhabitats, and it’s a little hard to tell exactly what is going to get used as what. Still, overall plastic is a net bad, to the best of my knowledge.)
Save the turtles!
Toss those suckers in the trash and ensure the trash makes it into a secure landfill or waste processing place!
*poofs off in a cloud of marine biology righteousness*
ej:
If these guys’ personal hygiene is like Roosh’s, I wouldn’t bet they’d dispose of it at all.
Aaaaand leftwingfox wins the thread.
Level 1 MGTOW: Realize women are terrible people out to enslave men.
Level 2 MGTOW: Share increasingly fantastic stories about female perfidy on Reddit.
Level 3 MGTOW: Evangelizing the terrors of women on feminist websites.
Level 4 MGTOW: Share increasingly fantastic stories about female perfidy on Reddit.
Level 5 MGTOW: Evangelizing the terrors of women on feminist websites.
Level 6 MGTOW: Share increasingly fantastic stories about female perfidy on Reddit.
Level 7 MGTOW: Evangelizing the terrors of women on feminist websites.
Level 8 MGTOW: Share increasingly fantastic stories about female perfidy on Reddit.
Level 9 MGTOW: Evangelizing the terrors of women on feminist websites.
Level 10 MGTOW: Share increasingly fantastic stories about female perfidy on Reddit.
Level 11 MGTOW: Evangelizing the terrors of women on feminist websites.
Level 12 MGTOW: Share increasingly fantastic stories about female perfidy on Reddit.
Level 13 MGTOW: Evangelizing the terrors of women on feminist websites.
Level 14 MGTOW: Share increasingly fantastic stories about female perfidy on Reddit.
Level 15 MGTOW: Evangelizing the terrors of women on feminist websites.
Repeat as needed.
Is there a prestige class for this?
No, but you can multiclass with either MRA or PUA (trying to mix all three gives you no advantages).
If you’re doing GURPS, you just combine “Bad Temper” with “Hidebound” and “Fragile: “Ego”.
If only they would give up on women. They would not be missed!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gmZ4RJp5GQ&w=854&h=510%5D
So the international Femmunist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids has decided to just steal them instead?
Ha! NOW I see the tags. Great minds, they say…
Combining all three can reduce your charisma to a permanent 0