An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no MRAs, no I’m-not-really-an-MRA-buts, don’t be mean.
Categories
We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
We Hunted The Mammoth
@Skye
Oh jeeze, that’s awful. I know that feeling all too well, though I’ve certainly never had it while in labor. Massive hugs, and I’m so sorry they put you through that. The hospitals in my area are also completely incompetent. They nearly killed my best friend when she was pregnant by putting her on a drip for the mineral she had in overabundance rather than the one she was low on. I feel like doctors are maybe *A* step above how they used to deal with pregnancies. It makes me happy I’m sterile. I hope those helpless feelings pass for you, and you can enjoy your time with your new son better 🙂
@lacerta viridis:
Thank you for your reaction and suggestion. However, this possible ‘giftedness’ is not something I was diagnosed with as a child. It is a realisation of the last two years or so and merely something I seriously consider to be the case, though I’m not sure. In a sense, I guess it is all semantics anyway: wether or not my ‘symptoms’ are due to giftedness or something else doesn’t really matter, since a name does not make them any less frustrating or real. I am not non-neurotypical in the sense of being on the autistic spectrum if that’s what you meant. I have in the past thought I might have schizoid personality disorder, but that doesn’t seem to be the case either.
At this stage, I find it hard to say if my feelings contribute to a certain depression or are the result of it. I also find it hard to tell if my default self is what I’ve been the last few years or if, as I fear, I’ve actually functioned on like 75% power during that time, thinking it was normal. I do think a lot of my concerns would be lessened by having a larger social circle, and I have worked on that in the last year or so. It has helped but not to the extent I’d want to and I keep having these thoughts of ‘ you’re not really their friend, they consider you a curiosity amusing to have around’. In my heart I know it’s not true, but the fear remains and it can sometimes kill all initiative I might have. I hope I’ll grow over it sometime.
ryeash, if you were downing antidepressants no one would say anything. So here goes…if gin (or whatever) is what you need to get through this, go hard. If you need insulation, use it. It does *not* make you an alcoholic (that’s a totally separate thing) and it does *not* make you a bad person. We all need insulation sometimes, having and using the one that works for you is healthy despite anything well meaning people who buy into addiction is a disease (it’s a symptom of trauma, and it is *trauma* which is the disease) will say. Treat your symptoms the way you need, the way you think is best for you. Hugs if you want them.
Also I have the mumps. Send Demerol.
Good luck, grumpycatisagirl!
:: sends Demerol to Shaun ::
And on the off-chance that funny cute pictures would help anyone, here is what cats look like from beneath:
http://actinglikeanimals.com/wp-content/uploads/pin54341315dc381.jpg
A view only those who have crossed the Furrinati usually get to see….
US West Coasters who are into celestial phenomena, I just got a message from my friend about a lunar eclipse early tomorrow morning:
@Falconer Here’s a tumblr for you: http://itsliketheyknowus.tumblr.com/ Ah, the joys of stock photo parenting with white furniture and salads…
@cloudiah I’m having strange recovered memories of being abducted and probed with five tiny, sharp needles.
@Mnemosyne:
What part of the changes make you think this? I think the CVBR is a good idea but parts of it make me uncomfortable for reasons I can’t quite pin down. The proposed changes don’t actually seem all that significant to me.
This was honestly the first I’d heard of any proposed changes. There goes my “informed voter” cred.
Just because it needs to be more widely seen:
http://thewomansplainer.com/
The Eclipse will be total over the entire US,but to see it start to finish one has to be West of about Memphis: For those on the East Coast it will be low in the west, and set before the moon leaves the umbra.
This rainy, constantly-changing fall weather is playing hell with my energy levels, and it’s taking my mind with it a lot of the time. Muscle and joint pain aren’t helping either. Yup, it’s about to rain again where I am, and I am a human barometer.
Also, is anyone else having trouble with wi-fi since the new iOS bug came out? Mine’s still wonky over a week later…and at least half of my Facebook friends also appear to be MIA.
@Leum
I’ve been admitted to two psych wards within a short space of time, and the first consisted of the staff (as I remember) giving myself and my parents entirely different periods for admittance: Three days and three weeks, respectively, which was pretty bad of them. Still, in my case, at that time I needed some form of treatment: I was a pretty terrible person, all things considered, to the point I may actually have been dragged into some pretty bad attitudes if I’d found MRA sites rather than places like this and sources of art/social/gender criticism.
Thanks for the advice and support everyone! The kitty pics certainly helped too 😀 I’m going to take everyone’s advice into account.
Kittehserf, I used to receive CBT counseling, but yeah, the cost was weighing me down a bit (broke student here 😛 ). I’ve definitely considered maybe going back in the future when things are more settled. I think you’re right, I think I definitely notice it more than others. The problem for me is, if people pick up on even a little bit of my social inadequancies, I feel really embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I should really just accept the fact that I’m human I guess haha. And yes, everything you’ve said has made sense and applied to me. Thanks for your insight, Kitteh!
Sunny, thank you for sharing! I’m trying to work on that pesky inner dialogue that dominates a large portion of my thoughts. It’s certainly not easy, as you’ve said. I think I could be doing a better job at challening my thoughts though, sometimes It’s easy to forget that you don’t have to accept every little blow you give yourself.
Buttercup, great suggestion! I’ve actually considered a public speaking class, partially so that I can do a good job with my presentations at college, and partially because I know it would definitely help with my self esteem. The improv class I did not think of as an option though! I will need to look into this, especially since another Mammother has seconded the suggestion.
Thanks, IkeKe! That’s one of the things I usually do, I think of a few talking points whenever I feel anxious about a social situation, so as to not leave me twisting in the wind. As for crafting an outgoing persona, I’ve done a pretty good job at this. I get invited out regularly and I try to accept most invites as I know It can only benefit me, even if things go horribly wrong, there’s valuable skills to learn from those unfortunate situations. Actually, as I’m typing this, you’ve made me realise that I probably do come across as very sociable to others 🙂
I’m feeling much better about things, thanks again for the support and cute kitties everyone!
…The “still” there makes it sort of sound like I’m telling you your experience was invalid: Like I’m dismissing that they treated you terribly. Should have used “although”, or something else without the implication.
@Pecunium
She actually got a reply on Twitter from some guy asking “why would I pay £20.00 when I can just google it?”, lol.
Hi everyone,
I’ve only commented a couple times though I’ve been lurking/reading for a couple years. Sending good vibes to everyone who needs it.
I’m just popping in to thank Dave and everyone here for all the insight and humor you supply on a daily basis. I’ve been staying with my dad to take care of him after surger y, and having this site to escape to has helped my stress level a great deal. Thanks, y’all!
@Shaun
You have no idea how much that comment comforted me. I really have been needing insulation, and that’s precisely what I use it for. I can’t help it–i just want to distance myself from the feelings sometimes. It hurts too much to face it sometimes.
@Bad_dog
My advice would be to learn from some of the great lovers of history who did make a long-distance relationship work, such as John and Abigail Adams, or Elizabeth Barret Browning and Robert Browning.
I haven’t really read their correspondence, but I do know that they wrote long letters to each other, a LOT.
The thing about writing actual letters (pen and paper, not emails) is that you’re more likely to read it over, maybe re-write it, before sending it, because you want something so permanent to be just right. An email, or tweet, or text? You’re likely to be more casual and clumsy, and that’s where misconceptions, misunderstandings, and just flat out misdemeanors enter the relationship.
So, yeah, WRITE letters to each other, read them and edit them before mailing, and treasure the letters you receive, in turn. Keep them, and re-read them, to remind yourself of the best parts, and why you care so much about each other.
Good luck! Long distance relationships are hard, but they can be done.
Saw this late last month… it matches my own anecdotal experiences…
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2014/09/new-report-on-lgbt-poverty.html
tl;dr: lesbian couples are more likely to be in poverty than married, opposite sex couples, while gay male couples are less likely to be in poverty. Amongst older adults, lesbians are twice as likely as married opposite sex couples and three times as likely as gay male couples; women in same-sex couples are more than twice as likely receive TANF or other cash assistance as well as food stamps/SNAP than women in straight marriages.
It’s depressing :/
@Zephyrus Apologies, I was just sharing my own experiences, not suggesting they were identical to yours.
Non-neurotypical just means having a non-standard brain configuration, as far as I’m aware. Some people do use it to refer to autistic stuff specifically, but that’s not how I was using it. I was guessing that when you said being ‘gifted’ causes you problems, you meant because of not having a brain that runs the same way as most people’s do, since I’m not sure why else it would be an issue?
@Bad_dog Argh, I sympathise; I’ve been dating someone who doesn’t live in my country for a while now. I don’t know that I have any advice that hasn’t already been suggested, just sympathy… I like Michelle’s idea of writing letters, though. I really love getting actual tangible things from my long-distance person, it makes them feel less far away.
Ryeash, thank you. Fortunately, the dr was good and the other nurses, but that one…:( So glad your friend was ok; that’s horrifying.
Shuan & Bina, hope you feel better soon.
Hope the Mammotheers can keep me in their thoughts – unexpected medical problems have me a little tense. Nothing life-threatening but a bit more serious than anything I was expecting to have to deal with this week!
Sorry to hear this, strivingally! Wish you the best!
THE HAT! from 1914
http://trove.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/article/117880595
a fine pearly bleached panama and a small moustache